Chapter 30 Chapter 29 Details Beyond Eloquence: Feelings are a thousand times faster than words

For a leader, his appearance is the first impression he gives to his subordinates and superiors, and the first impression is often lasting.A personable leader with a good image and temperament can often bring people a pleasing feeling and directly stimulate employees' interest in work. A famous business management scientist once compared the four core factors of business development to the four legs of a horse.These four factors are: Leadership, Execution, Organizational Climate, and Corporate Culture.Here leadership is placed in the first place, so as a leader, you should clearly realize that in order to achieve strong leadership, shaping your own image is crucial.

For a leader, the appearance image is the first impression he gives to employees and superiors, and the first impression is often lasting.A personable leader with a good image and temperament can often bring people a pleasing feeling and directly stimulate employees' interest in work; on the contrary, a leader with a bad image will leave a bad impression on others, and even make people feel happy. The other party has various doubts about the company psychologically, which can be said to be the result of the "halo effect" in psychology.Therefore, leaders must pay attention to their own image appearance.

1. A good image is reflected in clothing As the saying goes: "A man depends on his clothes, a horse depends on his saddle", "A Buddha depends on his gold clothes, and a man depends on his clothes".Appropriate attire can have a huge impact on a leader's appearance. Leaders should pay attention to the following issues in their clothing: the clothing must be neat and generous, tall and harmonious.Clothes should be ironed, trousers should be ironed out, and collars and cuffs should be kept clean.In addition, clothes must fit your body shape.Leaders should avoid sloppy appearance or overly gorgeous and novel clothing, so as to prevent excessive influence on other people's emotions and hinder the progress of work.Leaders with weird clothes, messy hair, chronically uncut nails, stained ties, and shirts that stick out at the corner of their shirts have a hard time developing charisma.Dressing casually is often a reflection of a leader's personality, but others think that the leader is sloppy and difficult to think carefully.

For leaders, appearance image is not only a matter of personal image, but also an issue of overall corporate image. Male leaders should trim their hair frequently, keep it tidy, and don't wear long hair or weird hairstyles.The hair style is natural and neatly combed, giving people a sense of sophistication and solemnity.The hairstyles of female leaders are varied, but not grotesque.For women, light Ru can increase the natural beauty of women.On the contrary, heavy makeup or wearing too much jewelry will give people a vulgar feeling.Finally, pay attention to the unity of clothing and footwear, as well as purses and hats.Leaders who attract employees begin by focusing on their appearance.How a person looks on the outside often reveals who he is and how he feels about himself.

Leaders should cultivate an external image that makes them feel comfortable, and form a personal style through this external image.This style expresses the leader appropriately, but not others.The leader's personal style is closely related to the enterprise, and it is the symbol of the enterprise. 2. A good image is also reflected in the demeanor and temperament of the leader Appearance and demeanor are closely related. A leader with excellent temperament and demeanor can give people a special feeling and a deep impression as long as he stands or sits quietly without speaking. The late U.S. Secretary of State General Marshall was a man with a unique charisma.It is said that as soon as General Marshall appears, he will become the focus of the people present. Everyone can feel his invisible majesty and be deeply attracted and moved. His deep, steady and energetic tone, It is daunting and awe-inspiring.

In addition to Marshall, Napoleon also had this charisma.As soon as Napoleon entered the room, everyone immediately held their breaths and did not dare to make a sound, and an indescribable awe surged in their hearts.Extraordinary temperament has nothing to do with beauty or not.In fact, Napoleon himself was only 160 cm tall, short and stocky. From this example, we can see that the extraordinary temperament and demeanor of a leader do not depend on inborn traits, but on acquired knowledge and practical training.This requires leaders to have extensive knowledge, and should also strengthen other aspects of self-cultivation and exercise to cultivate a good temperament and demeanor.

A leader who is chic, energetic, and full of vitality can easily make others overwhelmed by his extraordinary demeanor.At the same time, a personable leader is full of charm. His calm, confident, capable, methodical, neither overbearing nor humble makes the other party dare not belittle or reject them psychologically, and will pay more attention to the conversation process while appreciating it.A leader with a good image, coupled with experience and self-confidence, can be said to have a certain demeanor.On the contrary, a leader who is wretched and slovenly is not demeanor.In addition, demeanor is also an external expression formed by a person with rich experience and extensive knowledge accumulated over a long period of time. It is the best expression of the combination of internal background and appearance.

Based on our own experience, we have good reason to believe that facial expressions are the best indicators of human emotions.Everyone has a facial expression, every cell, every wrinkle, every nerve in the face expresses a certain will, a certain emotion, a certain inclination.Facial expressions are the most accurate and subtle "barometer" of a person.A person's facial expression is precious in four words: natural, sincere.In face-to-face oral communication, facial expressions can assist vocal language to convey information and communicate people's feelings. The face is the "fluorescent screen" of thoughts.

Zetkin once said: "When Lenin spoke, not only did every word come from his heart, but the facial expressions strengthened that feeling."Facial expression language refers to a kind of body language that people express their thoughts and feelings through the face. It is reflected by the changes of eyes, eyebrows, mouth, and facial muscles, etc., and the content is extremely rich. Research by physiologists shows that human facial musculature is composed of 24 pairs of interlaced muscles, of which 6 pairs are used to express pleasant emotions through stretching, and 18 pairs are used to express unpleasant emotions.The emotional expression produced by this facial musculature is not restricted by national boundaries, regions, or races, and is a common means of communication for people in any society.

The late American journalist Gen Bao said in his book "Reminiscences of Roosevelt": "In just 20 minutes, his facial expressions included: surprise, curiosity, pretended surprise, genuine concern, worry, sympathy, Firm, playful, dignified, all charismatic, but he never said a word." It can be seen how important facial expressions occupy in a leader's speech.The emoji used by the leader to speak is to communicate emotion and convey information through facial expressions, and the most expressive language is the expression language. The eyes are the windows of the soul, the mouth can speak, but the eyes cannot. The mystery of the eyes is that they are real.You can make up a thousand or ten thousand lies, but you can't cover the truth of your eyes.

In the process of the leader's speech, the eyes can show the audience the leader's thoughts and feelings, psychological changes, moral knowledge, character cultivation and aesthetic concepts.Therefore, any experienced leader always pays attention to the proper use of eye contact and sound language coordination to express ever-changing thoughts and feelings, and to adjust the atmosphere of the communication scene. Former French President Charles de Gaulle never wore glasses when he made public speeches and TV speeches, and had to speak "eye to eye" with the French, because he attached great importance to the role of eyes in communicating thoughts and feelings.Today, when many of our leaders communicate with people, they not only listen to their conversations, but also look at them appropriately, which can give them a feeling of being respected and valued. Such conversations generally receive good feedback. Effect.However, there are also many leaders who stare at the speech script when speaking, or look up at the ceiling, or look left and right, and look around when talking, making people feel that he is "no one in his eyes" and does not know what he is thinking. Naturally, the effect of this will not be good. . In situations where there are many audiences, the leader can use a look around or a virtual look.Looking around is the conscious and natural flow of sight, looking around comprehensively.It can maintain eye contact with all listeners, so that each listener feels that you have seen him, thereby enhancing the emotional connection between each other and increasing their interest in participating in the speech.At the same time, this method can also enable the speaker to understand the audience's psychological reaction more comprehensively through multi-angle eye contact, so as to adjust his topic at any time.Of course, looking around should be natural and moderate, and the speed should be appropriately slowed down. When you can't speak, your eyes always move around frequently, which will distract the audience's attention, and make people feel that you are absent-minded and supercilious.The so-called virtual vision refers to the eyes that seem to be looking but not looking, as if looking at some place or audience, but actually not seeing anything. Its range is generally in the middle or rear of the audience. It can eliminate the speaker's nervousness and help the speaker concentrate on thinking about the content of the speech. When the leader speaks, he should also pay attention to the eyes of the audience, so as to understand the mentality of the audience and adjust his speech strategy randomly. The listener's eyes are dull and dull, indicating that he is sad in his heart, so don't be high-spirited when speaking; the audience's eyes are suddenly bright, indicating that he is interested in himself or his own performance, and he should strike while the iron is hot; If you are flustered and have a guilty conscience, you should chase after and strike hard when you speak; the audience's eyes are calm and firm, showing that they are confident, and you should be modest and cautious when speaking. When someone is staring at you overwhelmingly, instead of looking into his eyes, find a spot on his forehead above his eyebrows, and just stare at that spot intently.In this way, no one can overwhelm you with staring eyes, and in the end that person has no choice but to lower his own eyes. Of course, you might as well show it with your eyes when you are angry. It is said that in the 19th century, there was a famous judge named Daoud in Egypt, with sharp eyes and keen eyesight. When trying a case, he sat upright in the urn, with only his head exposed on it, and stared at the prisoner with his majestic eyes. The cold air is pressing, so the prisoners will confess more often.Of course, this may only be a legendary legend. There is a photo of British Prime Minister Churchill with an angry face and piercing eyes. It is said that this is the masterpiece of Canadian photographer Kashi. When Churchill just stepped into the camera, Kashi suddenly stepped forward and grabbed his pipe. Unprepared, he flew into a rage for a while, his eyes were wide open, his hands were on his hips, and he was aggressive.Later, this photo became the spiritual symbol of "Never Surrender" in the British Isles during World War II. It must be said that this is a strong proof of the successful use of facial language by the managers. In short, the power of the eyes is infinite.Let us conclude our section with a quote from the classical German philosopher Hegel: "Not only the countenance, posture, and posture of the body, but also actions and deeds, words and sounds, and their ever-changing changes in different lives, all It can be artistically turned into eyes. From these eyes, people can realize the inner infinite free soul." In addition to vocal language expression, language also has auxiliary language, which is gesture language.Gesture language, although it is not a language uttered by the mouth, has played a great auxiliary role.Therefore, as a leader, if you want to implement your own leadership behaviors and express your intentions and feelings accurately and effectively, you must use posture language.As we often say "I know what you're going to say when I see you", this is the use of posture language to spread information.All activities that carry out information transmission, thought communication, and emotional exchange through gestures, postures, winks, and facial expressions are collectively referred to as gesture language. The leader's posture language is the information carrier of leadership activities and an important part of the leader's language.Therefore, it is very necessary to strengthen the leader's posture language art.The connotation of posture language is mainly manifested in the following aspects: 1. Posture language is the essence of human language Posture language, which accounts for a relatively high proportion in the expression of leadership information, is the oldest and most primitive way of communication, and it is also the communication way with the longest history. It has a long history and is indispensable.It is the long-term accumulation of human thinking and its expression—language, and the essence of human language.Roman?Roland once said: "Facial expression is a language that has been successfully cultivated for centuries, and it is a thousand times more complicated than the language spoken by the mouth." A large number of facts show that the art of posture language plays an important role in the language art of leaders.The level of the leader's posture language art often determines to a certain extent the level of the leader and whether the leadership activity is effective. In a sense, leadership activities can be said to be a process of information expression with coordination and organization as the main content.In this process, the purposeful and conscious introduction of situational language will definitely play an important role in improving the level of information expression of leaders. 2. It’s the key to making the best “first impression” Leaders are people who show their faces. Due to the wide range of practice and the short time of contact with subordinates, the formation of their "first impression" requires the participation of situational language. If the "first impression" is good, people tend to reason in a positive way about their language and behavior in the future, which is conducive to establishing a good image and prestige for themselves; on the contrary, poor posture language gives people a bad "first impression" , That is to say, if the "first three kicks" cannot be kicked out, it will be many times more difficult to reverse this bad impression in the future.Therefore, as a leader, we must attach great importance to the cultivation of the art of posture language. 3. It is a "messenger" that conveys and connects emotions There are many ways for leaders to communicate with subordinates, one of which is posture language.When communicating with subordinates, leaders can use moderate and appropriate posture language to gain insight into the psychology of subordinates, understand the behavioral goals of subordinates, and skillfully grasp the intentions of subordinates.At the same time, leaders can use posture language to output thoughts and emotional information to subordinates, and convey their own information and work intentions to subordinates in a timely manner.A leader is a person in a position of domination.This status determines that there are many things that are neither easy to express in spoken language nor in written form, but can only be expressed in gesture language.Artistic expression with gesture language can not only achieve the intended purpose, but also avoid and eliminate the side effects caused by spoken or written expression. 4. It is the "green leaf" that supports vocal language Generally speaking, gesture language can be carried out alone, but vocal language cannot be carried out alone.Because there is absolutely no sound language without the participation of gesture language.For example, when a person speaks, not only the voice plays a role, but also facial expressions, tone, etc., which produces gesture language.It's just that the expression of this kind of posture language can be divided into high and low levels.As the saying goes, "good flowers need green leaves to support them".If spoken language is a safflower, then gesture language is a green leaf. Only with the support of voice language can one's voice, color, posture, and emotion be good, and play a huge role. All in all, posture language is very important for shaping leadership prestige. According to statistics, smiling is the most contagious of all communication languages, and smiling is a universal "human communication skill".When the leader gets along with the people around him, no matter whether he agrees with others or disagrees, he should not put on a cold face. No one wants to talk to the leader with a cold attitude.Even if it is out of some helplessness that it is impossible to talk about it, there is already a feeling of resentment in my heart.Just imagine, can such a conversation have a good result?Therefore, leaders should learn to laugh in communication. Laughter warms people's hearts, and can be considerate of people's hearts, giving people a sense of happiness and freedom. Often a smile can quickly shorten the distance between you and others, express your kindness and joy, and give people the warmth of a spring breeze.Smiling costs nothing, but has unexpected rewards.A smile is like an emotional mediator, but also a lubricant for interpersonal relationships.But when using a smile to express your feelings, you should pay attention to the following points: 1. Smile naturally A smile comes from the heart and is an expression of a beautiful heart.Only in this way can we smile naturally, kindly, beautifully and appropriately.Be careful not to laugh for the sake of laughing, or to pretend to be smiling without smiling. 2. Smile sincerely A smile is not only the exposure of one's happy mood, but also the gift of innocence.A sincere smile warms the heart of the other party, and sometimes it may resonate with the other party, making them intoxicated in joy and deepening the friendship between the two parties. 3. Smile appropriately Smiling is a kind of courtesy and respect to the other party.But if you don't pay attention to the degree, if you smile presumptuously, excessively, and without restraint, you will lose your identity and cause the other party's disgust. 4. Laugh at the right person For different communication objects, smiles with different meanings should be used to convey different feelings.Otherwise, there will inevitably be counterproductive situations. 5. Laugh in the right place Smiling is not unconditional, nor can it be used in all communication situations.Its use is very particular.When you have a smile on your face, your mood can't be any worse.When you're in the presence of a smiling person, it's hard not to smile back at him.Smiling makes people feel welcome and at ease, but it depends on the occasion, otherwise it will be counterproductive.Sometimes smiling can make you look nervous and helpless, especially if you smile too much.When you're at a solemn gathering, going to a memorial service, or discussing important political issues, it's not natural to smile.When you talk about a serious topic with the other party, or tell the other party an unfortunate news, or when your conversation makes the other party feel unhappy, you should not smile, or put away your smile in time. In a conversation, in addition to natural and fluent eloquence, a leader must also have a matching posture and gestures.The magical use of gestures plays a unique role in conversation. Whether the use of gestures is appropriate or not will directly or indirectly affect language in different ways.Proper gestures will make your words more persuasive and your personal image more attractive. Experience has shown that gestures should be used with due care and restraint.Gestures are a natural expression of inner emotions, not blunt artificiality.Gestures are meant to help convey meaning, and if it doesn't, it's superfluous.Some leaders think that gestures are better than no gestures, more gestures are better than few gestures, not to mention that gestures can also cover up their nervousness.This is actually a misunderstanding, and the dazzling gestures can only show their flustered and rude, and have no meaning. Some scholars said: "In order to emphasize an important point, gestures can shorten the distance between you and the audience." The gestures used by the leader when speaking should be suitable for the topic of the conversation, and the gestures should also pay attention to the size of the space.At the same time, the leader should clarify the meaning of the other party's gestures.A flat palm shake usually expresses disapproval; finger tapping on the table can express thank you; hand rubbing can express happiness or anxiety.Leaders can use gestures to strengthen semantics during conversations, and fingers can express quantity, praise, criticism, affirmation and negation.When gesturing, avoid excessive gestures and exaggeration. Gestures have multiple and complex meanings.Hands up, forward, and inward often express positive meanings such as hope, success, and affirmation.Hands down, backward, and outward often express negative meanings such as criticism, contempt, and negation. For example, splitting palms in the air means resoluteness; shaking fingers slightly means contempt or indifference; spreading hands means helplessness; Up and down expresses indignation, determination, etc. Regarding the position of the hands, some experts have designed different plans. When using it, you should not be rigid, as long as it is natural and decent.But don't put your hands in your pockets, it seems disrespectful to others, and you seem to be "tied up".Here are a few common gestures: 1. Supine posture That is, the palm is facing up, the thumb is open, and the remaining fingers are slightly curved.Raising the hand means joy, praise, and application for prayer; keeping the hand flat means sincerely seeking the opinions and support of subordinates. 2. Overhand pose That is, the palm is down, and the fingers are in the same state as above. This is a prudent reminder gesture, which can restrain the emotions of the audience, and then achieve the purpose of controlling the scene. It can also express denial, opposition, etc. 3. Hand cutting That is to say, the palms are straight and fully extended, the fingers are close together, and they are swished down like an axe, which means decisiveness, resoluteness, sharp cutting, etc. 4. Hand pecking That is, the fingers are put together in a dustpan shape, and the fingertips are facing the audience.This kind of gesture is highly targeted and indicative, but it is also easy to become provocative and threatening, so it is generally not used too much. 5. Finger extension That is to say, pointing upwards, stretching out the index finger means referring to someone, something, a certain idea, or attracting the attention of the audience; stretching out the thumb means pride or praise; 6. Wrapped hands That is, the five fingertips touch, with the fingertips pointing up, like a purse with the opening tightened.This gesture is generally used to emphasize themes and important points, and is used when encountering probing questions. 7. Push hands That is, the fingertips are upward and close together, and the palm is pushed out.This gesture often expresses the rejection of public opinion, showing determination and strength. 8. Body massage pose That is, touch a part of your body with your hands.Putting your hands on yourself means contemplation, humility, and sincerity; touching your chest with your hands means asking yourself; touching your head with your hands means annoyance, memories, etc. 9. Fist That is, the five fingers are gathered together and the fist is clenched.This gesture sometimes expresses demonstrations and revenge; sometimes it expresses excited feelings, resolute attitudes, and wishes that must be realized. In addition, the movement of the arm is also a kind of language suggestion.Crossed arms indicate defense; crossed arms indicate hostility; crossed arms indicate a little nervousness and trying to control emotions; one hand clasping the other's upper arm with the other hand drooping indicates a lack of confidence, and so on. If the leader can use these gestures flexibly when speaking, it will definitely make your speech even better.