Chapter 29 Chapter 28 Insight into the psychology of others: know what the other person is thinking without opening your mouth

When speaking, you must know when to say what; if you speak, you must be responsible for what you have said.If a person is not authentic, if he does not have insight, the words that come out of his mouth may attract others for a while, but they cannot deceive others forever. As the old saying goes, "The mountain is not high, but there are immortals and spirits."It's the same with speaking, nonsense without focus is often not worth the effect of a solid sentence.To say that a leader is eloquent does not refer to how he speaks eloquently in front of people, or how the same thing is said by him.It means that every time he speaks can serve the purpose of inspiring and deafening.

December 17, 1903 was the day when humans first flew an airplane off the ground.After completing this historic feat, American inventors, the Wright Brothers, traveled to Europe. At a welcome banquet in France, celebrities from all walks of life celebrated the success of the Wright brothers and hoped that they would give a speech to everyone. After repeated hesitation, Big Wright walked to the podium, and his speech only had one sentence: "As far as I know, parrots are the only birds that can talk, and parrots can't fly high." This wonderful sentence won warm applause from the audience.

Wright can introduce the process of his scientific invention in detail, and can also talk about the practical spirit of scientists.But his one sentence has highly summarized the difficulty of creation and the spirit of hard work. Just such a sentence is enough to leave a very deep impression on the audience. If you want to speak concisely, to the point, and arouse the vigilance and attention of the other party, you must also pay attention that what you say must have a certain factual basis. Song Zhaoyi Wang Zhao Yuanjie built a rockery in the palace, spending millions of taels of silver. After it was built, he invited guests and colleagues to drink to their heart's content and watch the rockery together.Everyone was drunk and full of interest, but Yao Tan bowed his head in thought, he didn't even look at the rockery.This caught the attention of King Yi, who forced him to watch.

Yao Tan raised his head and said, "I only see the blood mountain, where is the rockery?" King Yi was taken aback, and asked why. Yao Tan replied: "When I was in the village, I saw with my own eyes that the government of the prefectures and counties forced taxes, arrested fathers, sons and brothers, and sent them to the county to be whipped. This rockery was built with the taxes of the people. What is it if it is not a mountain of blood? Woolen cloth?" Yao Tan referred to the rockery as "Blood Mountain", which seemed sensational, but he relied on the facts he had heard and seen to have such a strong effect.If he was talking nonsense, perhaps catastrophe would be imminent.

As a leader, you must know how to speak properly and be good at capturing the hearts of the audience. After Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, one of his former bitter friends came to him from the countryside: "Long live my lord! Back then, my ministers accompanied me to sweep Luzhou's mansion and broke up the city of Guanzhou. Marshal Tang was on the run. Thanks to General Cai, the boy is in charge." Zhu Yuanzhang was very happy to hear what he said.Looking back, I also vaguely remembered that his words seemed to contain some past events, so I immediately made him a high official.Another bitter friend heard the news and went too.As soon as he met Zhu Yuanzhang, he said directly: "Long live my lord! Do you remember? In the past, you and I looked after cattle for others. One day, we put the stolen beans in the earthen pot in the Luhuadang. It's cooking. Before it's cooked, everyone rushes to eat it. The pots are broken, beans are scattered all over the ground, and the soup is all in the mud. You just grab the beans from the ground and eat them, but you don't care Even the red grass leaves are put into the mouth. The leaves are stuck in the throat, so bitter that you can’t laugh or cry. It’s my idea to tell you to put the green vegetable leaves in your hand and swallow them, and then bring the red grass leaves into your stomach I'm gone..." Zhu Yuanzhang thought he was too inconsiderate, so he couldn't wait to finish listening, so he kept yelling: "Push it out and kill it! Push it out and kill it!"

Two people said the same thing, but because they spoke in different ways, they received completely different treatment.The same is true in the practice of people's social life.How to please your conversation partner is a very important principle. To please your conversation partner does not mean blindly following the other party, but just hoping to better achieve the purpose of communication. We all have this experience: when we were young, we were always taught by our parents and teachers, and when we grow up, we have exchanges with friends, which are all heart-to-heart talks.Heart-to-heart talk is to open the hearts of both parties, enhance mutual understanding through good communication, and make things develop in a good direction.So is not all people will talk about it?not necessarily.You may be able to talk for three or two hours without changing your face, but you may not be able to talk softly, and this method is sometimes more suitable for solving problems.

Below we discuss some principles of heart-to-heart talks. 1. Harmonious relationship, create an atmosphere of conversation Create a harmonious atmosphere, tell a joke, tell some happy things, and shorten the emotional distance, the effect will be much better, even if it is sensational, it will not hurt the elegance. 2. Pay attention to the attitude of the conversation, be kind and natural, and eliminate the wariness of the other party If the opposition is strong, you can adopt a "cold treatment" method to temporarily postpone the conversation, or "curve conversation" to start with another matter.In addition to kindness, we must pay attention to sincerity.

3. Conversations should be targeted, with clear goals, and not make the other party feel at a loss Finally, pay attention to the choice of methods to enhance the effect of the conversation.A philosopher said: "There are no two identical leaves in the world." According to different conversation objects, different methods can be adopted, which can go directly to the topic or go roundabout. The core of these principles and methods is to have a clear understanding of the object of conversation, and to determine the method and content of communication from the point of view of the object of conversation.

In addition, the speech should be pleasant to the ears.Because communication is always two-way, whether it is giving a speech in public or talking casually with others, in addition to the speaker (the speaker), there is also the object of the speech (the listener).For this reason, the speaker cannot say whatever he wants, but depends on the object, starting from the different characteristics of the object, and speaking different words, so as to create a harmonious and harmonious atmosphere and achieve the purpose of speaking. When the leader is talking with others, in order to correctly understand what the other party is saying, he must listen carefully to what the other party is saying. This is the first step in a successful conversation.How to do it?Here are some basic principles for you:

1. Listen intently Listening attentively to the speaker's speech requires the leader to pay special attention when listening to the other party's speech, and at the same time, listen with a positive attitude. In order to concentrate, it is necessary to avoid the phenomenon of absent-mindedness and "serial errands".Even if you are already familiar with the topic, you should not turn a deaf ear to it, and you must not distract your attention to research countermeasures, because it is very easy to happen that if the content of the speaker contains meaning, we do not understand or misunderstand it, resulting in half the effort Effect.

2. Listen attentively This is the most basic and important question of the art of listening.According to the statistics of psychologists, the average person's speaking speed is 120-180 words per minute, while the speed of obedience and thinking is about 4 times faster than the speaking speed.Therefore, it is often the speaker who has not finished speaking, and the listener can understand most of it.As a result, the listener often "snaps away" due to the surplus of energy.Then in case the content of the other party's speech deviates from what we understand, or a wrong message is delivered, it is too late to regret. Therefore, as a leader, you must pay attention to listening to each other's speeches at all times.Listening with a positive attitude rather than a negative one is more likely to succeed in such listening.Look at the speaker while listening, actively make eye contact with the speaker, and make corresponding facial expressions to encourage the speaker.For example, you can raise your head, or smile slightly, or nod in agreement, or shake your head negatively, or frown in puzzlement, etc. The cooperation of these actions can help us concentrate and help achieve a good listening effect . What needs special attention is that during the conversation, when the other party's speech is sometimes difficult for us to understand or even unacceptable, we must not plug our ears and express a rejection attitude, because such an approach is harmful to the conversation. Very unfavorable. As a leader, you should develop the habit of listening patiently to the other party, which is also a sign of a successful leader's personal cultivation. 3. Listen critically On the basis of attentive listening, in order to achieve a good listening effect, leaders can adopt a discriminating approach to listen to others' speeches.Usually, when people speak, they think while talking, and they say what they think of. Sometimes expressing a meaning requires a lot of detours. From the surface, there is no point at all.Therefore, on the basis of attentive listening, leaders need to identify the authenticity of the information delivered, discard the dross and select the essence, and keep the truth from the false, so that they can grasp the key points and receive good listening effects. 4. Overcoming Preconceived Listening If the leader listens preconceivedly, he will often distort the original intention of the speaker and ignore or reject opinions that do not match his own. This practice is really unfavorable.Because this kind of leadership does not analyze the other party's speech from the standpoint of the talker, but listens to the other party's conversation according to one's own subjective framework.As a result, the information heard is often distorted and reflected in one's own brain, leading to inaccurate information received by the leader and mistakes in judgment, resulting in mistakes in behavior choices.Therefore, we must overcome preconceived listening practices and listen to the speaker's meaning completely and thoroughly. 5. Don’t belittle each other When people despise others, they often show it in their behavior consciously or unconsciously.For example, dismissing the existence of others, or turning a deaf ear to the conversation of the other person, etc.In a conversation, this dismissive approach can do more harm than good.Because this not only shows the narrowness of the leader, but more importantly, it is difficult to get the information you need from other people's words. The so-called proper speaking means speaking at the right time, the situation, the situation, and the opportunity, and everything is based on the principle of moderation and appropriateness.To some extent, words reflect a leader's disposition and self-cultivation.The leader's speech is well measured, and it feels to the people around him that it is the result of careful consideration.Therefore, it is very important for leaders to speak properly, and they should think twice before speaking.Verbal skills may seem trivial, but for a leader, the scale and proportion of speaking is the foundation for laying the image! In the early years of the Western Han Dynasty, Liu Bang, Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty, defeated Xiang Yu and pacified the world, and began to reward meritorious deeds.This is a ten thousand-year foundation that concerns future generations. Naturally, the officials did their part and fought for each other's merits. They had been arguing for more than a year and couldn't stop arguing. Liu Bang, Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty, believed that Xiao He had made the most contributions, so he made Xiao He a Marquis and had the most lands.But the ministers were not convinced in their hearts, and they discussed in private. The matter of ennobling and accepting the salary was finally settled, and the ministers disputed the position of the seat one after another. Many people said: "Pingyang Marquis Cao Can was wounded in seventy places, and he led his troops to attack the city and plunder the land, and won many battles. , with the most credit, he should be ranked first." Liu Bang had already favored Xiao He and wronged some heroes when he awarded the award, so it was difficult to insist on his own opinion on the seat, but in his heart, he still wanted to rank Xiao He first.At this time, Guannei Hou Ejun had guessed Liu Bang's intentions, so he pushed the boat along with the current and volunteered to come forward and said: "Everyone's comments are wrong! Although Cao Shen has military achievements, they are only for a while. The emperor fought against the overlord of Chu for five years. He often lost his troops and fled everywhere. Xiao He often sent people from Guanzhong to fill the gaps in the front. Chu, The Han Dynasty fought in Xingyang for several years, and the army was short of food. It was Xiao He who transported food to Guanzhong so that the food and wages would not be in short supply. Besides, the emperor avoided Shandong several times. , These are the merits of all ages. Even if one hundred Cao Shen is missing, what impact will it have on the Han Dynasty? We don’t need to rely on him to preserve the Han Dynasty? Why do you think that the merits of a moment are higher than the merits of all generations? Therefore, I advocate that Xiao He is the first and Cao Shen is the second." These words hit Liu Bang's heart, Liu Bang was naturally very happy when he heard it, and praised him again and again, so he ordered Xiao He to be the first in the list, he could bring his sword to the palace, and he didn't have to rush when he went to court.As a result, Mr. E was also named "Marquis of Anping", and the fiefdom he got was nearly doubled.Relying on his ability to observe words and emotions, he can speak well and speak well, with a brilliant tongue, and he has enjoyed all his life's glory and wealth. When speaking, you must know when to say what; if you speak, you must be responsible for what you have said.If a person is not authentic, if he does not have insight, the words that come out of his mouth may attract others for a while, but they cannot deceive others forever. However, the opposite of saying that there is a degree is "lost degree". What is "lost degree"?Generally speaking, one speaks rudely to others, or exposes one's shortcomings in front of everyone, or does not say what should be said, but says everything that should not be said.These are all manifestations of "loss".Below we will briefly introduce some topics that are taboo in leadership conversations. Contacting these topics can easily lead to "lostness" in the conversation and produce adverse effects. 1. Don't talk about other people's privacy Don't easily touch on topics that involve other people's privacy, including age, price of things, salary, etc., which may easily arouse disgust from others. 2. Don’t talk about controversial topics Unless you are very clear about the other party's position, you should avoid talking about controversial and sensitive topics, such as religion, politics, parties and other topics that are likely to cause arguments or confrontational stalemate between the two parties. 3. Don't ask about your health Asking health questions to someone you're meeting for the first time or someone you don't know well can come across as abrupt, although that's not the case if you're talking to someone very close. 4. Don't talk about personal misfortunes Don't bring up the hurt he suffered, such as his divorce or the death of his family, with his colleagues.Of course, if the other party brings it up, you should show sympathy and listen to him, but don't ask endlessly just to satisfy your curiosity. Be sure to have a sense of proportion in the conversation, recognize your leadership status, and consider the wording appropriately.What should be said, what should not be said, and what should be said to achieve a better conversation effect, should be paid attention to in the conversation.At the same time, we must also pay attention to speaking as objectively as possible, seeking truth from facts, not exaggerating, and constantly taking meaning from context.Speak as sincerely as possible, with good intentions, and try not to say words that are harsh and sarcasm to others, and do not say words that irritate or hurt others. There is an old saying: "Everything is foreshadowed, and if not forewarned, it will be abandoned." "Prediction" refers to foresight and insight.A good leader should be good at "seeing opportunities first", because this is not only a way of management, but also a prerequisite ability for eloquence.For the experience of eloquence, the leader's own insight is essential.Let's take a look at the following story, which will tell you how important it is to have sharp insight in order to make the language expression incisive. A French detective novelist, sharp and humorous, often hit the nail on the head when expressing his opinions.One day, he and a friend were walking along a boulevard when the novelist whistled playfully and exclaimed, "My God, that lady must be very pretty!" "Ladies?" the friend asked puzzledly, "There are only a few young men in front of us. How can there be any ladies?" Indeed, there were only a few young men walking towards the two of them, and there were no ladies. "No, my friend, I mean the one behind me." The novelist replied proudly.When his friend turned his head, he saw a beautiful lady not far behind them who was well-dressed and radiant.This made his friend very puzzled: "How can you see what is behind you without turning your head?" "Of course! Although I can't see her, I can see the eyes of the men opposite." This is a kind of insight. Although this story is just a small thing in life, it tells us that if a person wants to make his own insights unique and profound, he must have insight.The uniqueness and profoundness of insights are the indispensable and important factors in the art of leadership language.Those masters of language who are good at revealing the essence of things with language and are quick-witted are people who are good at seeing opportunities first. A leader who develops his own insight must do the following three things: 1. Watch and listen carefully As a leader, you must pay attention to the observation of things around you, and pay attention to discovering the characteristics and details of things. Observations must be carried out in all directions, from multiple angles, and from multiple sides. You cannot just focus on one point and ignore others, making the mistake of "blind men feeling the elephant".Only in this way can we grasp the details that others did not pay attention to when talking, and make our own speech unique.In addition, when a leader communicates with his subordinates, he must learn to listen, understand the psychology and wishes of the subordinates hidden under the language, and be good at finding problems.This is called psychological insight. 2. Maintain a calm and objective attitude at all times As a leader, you must always keep a clear head and make a calm and objective analysis on the basis of a comprehensive understanding of things.Through the comparative analysis of different things, distinguish the differences and relationships among various things.Only in this way can we make the topic unique and unique, the language expression accurate and profound, grasp the connotation of things, grasp the laws and trends of things. 3. Learn to summarize and refine from experience Things have certain internal laws and connections, and even things that are very different will have something in common.Pay attention to the comparison and summary of the common points among these things, and there will be new discoveries and some very general conclusions.Using these general conclusions in speech can make your language hit the nail on the head and reveal the essential laws of things. If you succeed in applying your insight to language, your words will be persuasive and impressive. "Zuo Zhuan" once told the story of Gong Zhiqi's admonishment, and what Gong Zhiqi said was the expression of his extraordinary insight. During the Spring and Autumn Period, Duke Xian of Jin wanted to expand his power and territory, so he found an excuse to attack the neighboring Guo State.However, there is Yu State between Jin State and Guo State. If you want to send troops to attack Guo State, you must pass through Yu State.Therefore, Duke Xian of Jin presented generous gifts to the king of Yu State and asked for a way. Gong Zhiqi, a doctor of the State of Yu, heard about this and urged Duke Yu to say: "The State of Guo is on the outskirts of the State of Yu. If the State of Guo is destroyed, the State of Yu will lose a barrier, and it will surely perish. Treating the State of Jin will not satisfy him." We should take more precautions against him. As the saying goes, "Auxiliary vehicles are dependent on each other, lips die and teeth are cold." If there is no lip, the teeth will be cold. If Guo State is destroyed, can our Yu State survive? This is what Guo, It is the most appropriate metaphor for the relationship between the two countries." But Yu Gong said: "Jin and I are of the same family, how could they hurt us?" Gong Zhiqi replied: "Although the Taibo and Yu Zhong are both sons of the Taiwang of Zhou, the Taibo did not follow the Taiwang of Zhou, so he did not inherit the throne. Both Zhong and Uncle Guo are the sons of Wang Ji. The king's minister in power has made outstanding contributions. Now that the state of Jin is determined to destroy the state of Guo, is there any friendship with the state of Yu? The relationship between the state of Yu and the state of Jin can be closer than the relationship between Uncle Huan and Zhuang Bo and the state of Jin Uncle Huan and Uncle Zhuang were both killed by the Marquis of Jin, even close relatives are like this, let alone between countries." At this time, Duke Yu began to waver: "For this reason, I sacrificed a lot of things to the gods, and the gods will definitely bless me." Faced with such absurd explanation, Gong Zhiqi said: "I have heard that ghosts and gods are not close to individuals, they are only close to people's virtues. Therefore, it is said in "Book of Zhou": 'Heaven has no preference for people, but only assists people. People with virtue; the grains for sacrifices have no fragrance, and those that are fragrant are bright talents; the people cannot be used as sacrifices, only virtue can be used as sacrifices.' In this way, gods without virtue will not come to enjoy the sacrifices .If the state of Jin destroys our state of Yu, and the gods have enjoyed our fragrant virtues, will the gods spit it out?" Duke Yu was shaken by Gong Zhiqi's words, but he couldn't resist the temptation of Jin's generous gift, so he finally agreed to Jin's request. In the winter of this year, the army of the state of Jin took advantage of the state of Yu and wiped out the state of Guo.On his way back, he attacked the State of Yu and captured Duke Yu.Yu State has since perished. Gong Zhiqi saw Jin's conspiracy with his keen political vision, and spoke out.Using the image metaphor of "the auxiliary cars depend on each other, the lips are dead and the teeth are cold" reveals the essence of the relationship between Yu and Guo, and points out that there is no friendship at all in politics.The incisiveness and reasoning of the words of advice will be extolled by later generations. Leaders should be good at observing subordinates at work, and should consider the characteristics of subordinates when speaking, otherwise it is easy to cause a stalemate in the relationship between superiors and subordinates, and it is difficult to carry out work smoothly.Don't think that as a leader, you want your subordinates to act according to your face.Ignore the emotions and feelings of subordinates, and force them to do work that they are not willing to do. In that case, the leader will be the one who will be frustrated in the end. For example, a boss noticed that the secretary was feeling a little depressed, so he said to the secretary very gently, "Can I have a cup of coffee?" This questioning tone made the secretary feel much better.In the secretary's view, although the boss is giving him an order, the boss is instructing him in a questioning tone, which gives him a sense of being respected.Naturally, the pressure is reduced and the work mood is improved. It can be seen that extraordinary insight is a strong guarantee for the art of leadership eloquence.Therefore, to be a good leader, we must pay attention to the training of our own insight. Most people have a strong desire to express themselves, to show their self-worth, especially when you are facing a person to whom you want to express your inspiration.You tend to ignore his attitude towards you.You only care about your own high-spirited talk and express your pride, but people have already closed their ears, and you don't know where a lot of your motivational words have gone.At this time, we might as well close our mouths, put our ears up, look into the other person's eyes, and listen to his words attentively, maybe we can hear his encouragement to you! During the Three Kingdoms period, Yang Xiu served as the director of Cao Ying.He was quick thinking and was one of the rare talents at that time, but because he was very conceited, he offended Cao Cao many times without knowing it. Once, Cao Cao built a garden. After the completion, Cao Cao looked around without saying a word. He just took a pen and wrote the word "living" on the door, wanting to play a charade with his subordinates. , only Yang Xiu said with a smile: "The word 'living' inside the 'gate' is also the word 'kuo'. The prime minister thinks that the garden gate is too narrow and wants to widen it." So, his subordinates built a wall again. Cao Cao went to watch.Cao Cao was very happy when he saw it. After asking, he knew that Yang Xiu had solved the riddle he had solved without any effort. Although he praised a few words, he felt very uncomfortable. Another day, Saibei sent a box of shortbread, and Cao Cao wrote "Yihe crispy" on the box.It happened that Yang Xiu came in, read the words on the box, and without waiting for Cao Cao to speak, he took a spoon and shared the box of cakes with everyone.Cao Cao was taken aback by his bold behavior, and questioned Yang Xiu. Yang Xiu laughed and said, "It's written on the box that there is one bite per person. How dare I disobey the prime minister's order?" He has a demeanor and a smile on his face, but in his heart he hates Yang Xiu's behavior of acting like a good boy while taking advantage of it. Cao Cao was suspicious by nature and was deeply afraid of being secretly murdered, so he lied that he would kill people unconsciously in his dreams, and warned his attendants not to approach him when he was asleep, and later deliberately killed a guard who was picking up the quilt for him. I want to use this to scare the chickens and monkeys. Unexpectedly, when Yang Xiu learned of this, he immediately saw through Cao Cao's intentions, and sighed in front of Cao Cao: "The prime minister is not in a dream, but the king is in a dream?" How could Cao Cao stand up to such cynicism and make up his mind? Therefore, we must get rid of Yang Xiu and hurry up. The opportunity came.When Cao Cao led an army to attack Hanzhong and faced Liu Bei, the two sides faced each other for a long time along the Hanshui River.Due to the long time of stationing troops, Cao Cao has been caught in a dilemma.At this time, just as the cook brought a bowl of chicken soup, Cao Cao was filled with emotion when he saw a chicken rib in the bowl.It happened that Xiahoudun entered the account at this time and asked for the night password. Cao Cao said casually, "Chicken ribs! Chicken ribs?" Xiahoudun passed these two words as a password.After hearing this, Yang Xiu, the chief secretary of the march, told the accompanying troops to pack up and prepare for the return journey.Xia Houdun was terrified when he saw it, and immediately called Yang Xiu to the tent to ask for details.Yang Xiu explained: "Chicken ribs are a pity to discard, but tasteless to eat. If you can't win now, if you retreat, you may be laughed at. What's the benefit here? In the future, the king of Wei will definitely be a teacher." Xia Houdun admired Yang Xiu's explanation very much, so he ordered the soldiers in the battalion to pack up and prepare to retreat. When Cao Cao learned of this situation, he insisted that Yang Xiu spread rumors to confuse the public, charged him with disturbing the morale of the army, and killed him mercilessly. Yang Xiu was quite clever, but in the end he was mistaken by his cleverness.He is proud of his talents and only wants to show off his wit blindly, completely disregarding other people's feelings and dislikes. Even if he is facing his immediate boss, he has to show his skills everywhere, and finally suffers disaster. Speaking is usually not for yourself, but for others. In this case, how can you not consider how others will interpret these words after hearing them? A person who really knows how to speak may not be full of words and sentences, but he can always say what the other party wants to hear.Therefore, you cannot patronize your own words and disregard the feelings of others.If you don't listen to other people's feedback and don't give them a chance to speak, then no matter how nice you say it, it will be rubbish.It is better to speak well than to speak well.One sentence may make you promoted to a noble rank, but it may also bring you a disaster of death.It is better to have no books than to believe in books. Similarly, if you cannot master the knowledge of speaking, then it is better to speak less. As a boss, when listening to employees' conversations, it is very important to understand and grasp the employees' personality and mind, and then how to lead them and encourage their enthusiasm for work to achieve the goal of improving efficiency.A careful boss can discover the following two types of subordinates by listening. 1. Extroverted employees: their interests and attention are inclined to the objective world, good at activities, like going out, enthusiastic, optimistic, social, love group activities, express themselves well, like to express their opinions, can sincerely accept criticism and encouragement, Generous, able to trust others; but impulsive due to enthusiasm and self-expression, inconsiderate, impetuous, vain, and often impatient with trivial matters. 2. Introverted employees: It is generally not easy to understand their intentions, because he is often taciturn, which stems from his sensitivity and shyness. Most of the time, he speaks softly, judges things based on subjective impressions, and is unwilling to express opinions. Cooperating with others, unwilling to participate in group activities, not interested in socializing, reclusive, solitary, romantic thoughts, strong self-view.But this kind of person is interested in tedious and boring work such as research, planning, secretarial, inspection, and statistics. After understanding the difference between the two kinds of people, the supervisors can lead the employees in a targeted manner to obtain the best results.For example, challenge and compete with extroverts to arouse their enthusiasm for work; for introverts, leaders should put down their airs, enter with a low profile, and gently arouse their enthusiasm for work. As a leader of an enterprise, one must know how to observe his words, look at his appearance, and know his people.To speak means to speak.Language style can fully display the speaker's inner world, personality, cultivation, culture, experience, experience and even character in speaking. "Three sentences are not far from the line", this is not only about "occupational diseases", but also related to the style of speaking in a sense.Language style is an invisible banner of leadership style and a mirror of leadership style. We know a person through several aspects of his words and deeds, words come first.So if a leader wants to cultivate his own excellent eloquence, he must first start with cultivating his language style.When the language style is formed, the human style is also established. The language style generally has the following contents, and the author will explain them to you here for your reference. 1. Humor The humorous language style is really the highest level of speaking, it is the expression of the speaker's wisdom, and it is a "fashionable" language style that everyone pursues. Humor is a harmonious, relaxed and pleasant language style.It will make the audience feel comfortable and happy, understand, feel, and even accept your thoughts in each other's smiles.It uses light and lively words, the rhythm is bright and smooth, and the sentence structure is flexible and well-behaved, just like a little swallow flying into the clouds.Rich in profound philosophies and connotations of thought, multi-use and good use of a variety of styles to make the language sound comfortable and pleasant to say, sometimes deliberately "confused" to confuse logic, but in fact it is to achieve the purpose of adding interest.Between talking and laughing, the communicative task of language is completed.Even if it is a heavy and depressive topic, it will become relaxed and natural, making people willing to listen and accept it. Humor needs to be supported by rich connotations and charisma.The language that makes people laugh immediately is called a joke, and the language that makes people laugh after chewing and suddenly realizing it is called humor.Humor carves laughter deep in the soul, because it is the flower of wisdom.It is different from a joke, although it also makes people laugh. Humor makes people laugh three minutes later, and may cry or sigh after laughing.But a joke makes people laugh after three seconds, and it fades away after three minutes. When you think about it again, it has no ridiculous value.Therefore, humor is a style of language, and jokes destroy it! The humorous language style reveals a rich heart. After people laugh, they can leave something worth tasting and reminiscing for a lifetime.It is the lubricating oil in communication, which can reduce the resistance of conversation; it is the palliative agent in communication, which can also turn swords into jade, so that both parties in conflict can break out of the embarrassing siege. Humorous language is not just talking, it is a performance of wisdom and knowledge on the same stage.Without both, there is no humor. If you don't know humor, don't deliberately pursue this language style. It is a "natural" thing that requires a certain accumulation of knowledge and knowledge before it begins to form. Zhong Jingwen, a folk song scientist in his 90s, went to a friend's banquet. When the table was full of delicacies, Mr. Zhong, who had almost lost his teeth, said to everyone: "You eat, I am a toothless person, I can't deal with these things " After Mr. Zhong finished speaking, he burst into laughter, avoiding the embarrassment of the silence.Soon, the noodle soup specially made for Mr. Zhong was put on the table, and he said: "I am a bully, so don't imitate me!" This again avoided embarrassment.Can such humorous words be uttered without a wealth of knowledge? It can be seen that those who are good at talking must be humorous, and those who are humorous must be talkative.In communication, we should also seize the opportunity properly, so as to silence him appropriately! 2. Subtle Subtlety is also a pretty good language style.It is a "winding path leading to the secluded" way of speaking.Implicit, also known as euphemism, says A’s meaning is affectionate, using B as a spokesperson, modifying the rhetoric, and adding corresponding processing, not directly talking about A, but the listener knows well that it is expressing A’s meaning, and B is just a carrier. Expressing a meaning in a tactful and tortuous way instead of saying it directly will form another subtle effect in communication. A reserved language style will allow the speaker and the listener to avoid embarrassment and harm in due course.It can be supplemented with corresponding expressions and movements to achieve the purpose of "understanding". But implicitness is not a panacea of ​​speaking skills and strategies, it must pay attention to time, place, and characters.Otherwise, the audience will misunderstand or cannot really understand.It is suitable for young men and women falling in love, criticizing and accusing each other of their faults, asking questions or opinions that are difficult to speak out, tricky and weird questions that cannot be answered directly, and so on. Speaking in a reserved way can avoid conflicts that are easy to intensify and problems that may hurt or damage the image of the other party and yourself.Its function is not only to maintain the dignity of the other party, but also to establish a self-image. Implications can express special meanings on special occasions, which should be taken seriously. Bacon said: "Subtlety and decency in conversation are more valuable than eloquence." 3. Gorgeous Pay attention to the use of words and expressions when speaking, but do not simply pursue the gorgeousness and beauty of language.If so, the audience will have a misunderstanding that you are playing with words and showing off.Flashy language is like a person who wears a gorgeous coat but is ignorant. Gorgeous language style, most often appears in prose, but this is a written expression, implemented in language expression, to a certain extent, can make the language vivid and literary, reflecting the speaker's richness Vocabulary and profound cultural background, at the same time can indicate the speaker's special identity.Because most people don't use too many gorgeous words when they speak in life. The flamboyant style is not suitable for general speaking, but is mostly used for written expression and formal speeches and speeches.Among them, we can properly pursue the magnificence of rhetoric, but we can't overdo it. "Excess" is worse than "less than".Moreover, this style is generally limited to young people. When people reach middle age, and then gradually move towards old age, the conversation will naturally tend to be plain and simple.This is also determined by the law of development of the art of speaking. 4. Solemn The solemn language style is reflected in more solemn occasions.It is a common style for leadership reports, speeches, diplomatic rhetoric, toasts, welcome speeches, birthday celebrations, weddings and funerals, and service terms in service industries.Solemnity will make the listener feel solemn and sacred. For example, when two friends meet for the first time, they should greet each other solemnly, and must not be as casual and joking as old friends.Another example is diplomatic rhetoric. If it is not solemn, it will greatly reduce your country's image. The dignified language style is also manifested in gestures, posture, and facial expressions.Because they also belong to a special language. Solemnity refers to being upright, solemn, not frivolous, prudent, prudent, elegant, and elegant.He is very particular about his diction, sometimes to the point of choosing his words carefully.It avoids dialects and slang, and if you want to use it, you must be careful, think twice before using it, and be cautious.Do not use irregular words, irregular words, and try not to use spoken language.The sentence structure is strict and compact, the words are used accurately, and adjectives are not used indiscriminately.Sentences are strictly in accordance with grammatical rules, and there is a strict logical relationship between sentences; avoid derogatory words as much as possible; sentences can accurately express the speaker's thoughts.Don't ask for gorgeous words, just for humor and subtlety.Use more rhetoric that only strengthens the language and condenses semantics, and does not use rhetoric that increases the interest of the article.Strive for precise, simple and clear language. This language style can fully demonstrate a person's elegant and rigorous, civilized and generous, solemn self-esteem, and neither humble nor overbearing character charm, leaving a deep and lasting impression on people. 5. Plain The solemn language style is not suitable for general speaking, otherwise there will be a dignified disharmony.Normal speech should have a plain style, which is dominant and the basic style.A plain language style will create a quite peaceful and pleasant speaking atmosphere, giving people a harmonious and friendly feeling. Especially the speaker whose identity and status are higher than the listener must be plain, that is, approachable, humble, and simple.In this way, the conversation will proceed in a harmonious atmosphere. Plain language can be called natural language, which is unpolished and not deliberately modified.There are not too many attributive modifiers, and there is not much rhetoric to describe, just like sketches and sketches in paintings.In a few words and concisely, you can express yourself clearly. Plain discourse can often express very profound thoughts, it is like a clear river, without the suspicion of affectation, mystification without reason, and the suspicion of posturing. The most important thing in plain language is to have something to say, simple and clear, plain and clear.Shakespeare, a great British dramatist, said: "Simplified language is the soul of wisdom, and lengthy language is a superficial decoration." It is not an easy task to truly achieve plainness. It is not only necessary to continuously refine language, but also to continue to speak. Plain language is the keynote of language style.