Chapter 13 Chapter Twelve Be an Obedient Leader

Listening is the highest compliment we can pay anyone - Andrew Carnegie In a survey about friendship, the results of the survey surprised the investigators.The findings show that the people who have the most friends are those who are good listeners, not eloquent and compelling speakers.In fact, there is nothing incredible about this.Each of us actually desires to express ourselves in life.A smart listener can give the speaker ample opportunities to express himself, and naturally it is easier to gain the favor of others. There is such a manager, he has good intentions and invites Liu to drink at the snack bar, trying to persuade Liu to stay, but it has no effect.Because during the conversation, the purpose of drinking is to relax the other party's mood, and then elicit what is in his heart.But the manager was preaching from the very beginning, and he was so serious that he didn't even have a chance to speak, and the result could only run counter to what he wanted.

On the one hand, everyone likes to narrate things about themselves, wants to beautify themselves, and wants others to believe their narrations;This phenomenon may be said to be human nature. Therefore, in a sense, being obedient is more important than being able to speak.The more you listen, the smarter you will become, the more you will be liked, and the better conversation partners you will have.A good listener always wins more favor than a good speaker.Of course, being a good listener is not an easy task. First, look at the speaker.If the other person is worth listening to, they should be worth looking at.Second, stay close to the speaker and listen intently, giving the impression that you don't want to miss a word.

Again, learn to ask questions so that the speaker knows you are listening carefully.Arguably, asking questions is a higher form of flattery.We have all experienced such a scene: when we were in school, if the teacher finished his speech on it, and the audience did not have a single question, how embarrassing the scene would be. Third, remember not to interrupt the speaker's topic.No matter how eager you are for a new topic, don't interrupt the speaker until he's finished on his own.Last but not least, "forget yourself".You always have to understand that you are the "listener" and don't use words like "I" or "mine".When you say this, it means that you have to give up the opportunity to listen, the attention has been shifted from the talker to you, at least, you are going to start "talking".

With the development of human civilization for thousands of years, there have always been many praises for the power and significance of the language form of "silence".Philosophers say: silence is a kind of maturity; thinkers say: silence is a virtue; educators say: silence is a kind of wisdom; artists say: silence is a kind of charm; scientists say: silence is an invention. Practice has also proved that in interpersonal communication, silence is a rare psychological quality and a valuable way of life, so "silence is golden" has become a self-evident truth in people's lives.But just as people say: "One step forward from the truth is a fallacy." People who abide by silence or believe in silence are also invisible to suffer the reaction force of silence while enjoying the positive power of silence.Lu Xun said, "If you don't explode in silence, you will perish in silence."Life has taught us to look at the world with a relative perspective, so in the face of silence, should we consider ourselves and the surrounding environment before making choices?The answer should be yes.The reason is very simple. If a person keeps silent, others will not be able to understand him. Of course, he will not be able to communicate with the outside world. He will become a loner, life will naturally lose its flavor, and his world will become smaller and smaller.Therefore, silence does not mean not speaking or not wanting to speak, or disdain to speak.Silence is a kind of state, and it needs the cooperation of various factors to play its golden role.

When you have the advantage, you need to be silent. "Heaven and earth have great beauty without speaking", the sun without speaking is a kind of brilliance; It's a trail of its own."Silence is required when grades are achieved.In the face of achievements and applause, the winners bowed deeply.This is a silent language, just the right silence. As a leader, under the eyes of all.Silence is needed in times of setback.In the face of failure and bad luck, it is the best policy to wipe away tears, grit your teeth, sum up the lessons silently, and then go into a new battle; waiting for the opportunity requires silence.Nature always gives opportunities to those who are fully prepared.Complaining about others is useless, and it is reliable to constantly enrich and improve oneself.

Silence is needed when bearing pain.If your relatives and friends are immersed in inextricable grief, and at this moment, no matter what you say, they can’t listen to them, then spend some time with them silently, and do something for them silently; silence is needed when communicating with the soul.Not to interrupt him casually, but to be good at listening.Learn wisdom from listening, make up for mistakes, build trust, and generate satisfaction. A group of workers in a factory in Dagang Oilfield asked to be transferred because the factory had been half-dead for many years. The new factory manager did not make a fuss about it, let alone complained. Facing hundreds of "please transfer the army", he said from the bottom of his heart: "We There are many difficulties in the factory, I hope everyone can trust me and give me half a year, if our factory is still like that grandma after half a year, I will resign and let's go together!"

These words are not high-profile, unpretentious, not only the expression of personality, but also the appropriate use of vague language.Although the factory director resolutely expressed his determination, his tone was pertinent.He did not directly prevent the transfer, but on the contrary, "If our factory is still like that grandma in half a year, I will resign, and we will leave together", as if issuing a "military order", and said the words to the extreme, but no one would I believe that this is a factory director who came to "try it and leave".On the contrary, people felt strength and saw hope from his sensible and frank language.The factory regained its calm like a manic patient who took a sedative. Those who were determined to continue their work strengthened their confidence, and those who lost their confidence cheered up.Vague language works its magic here.Later, under the leadership of the factory manager, the factory changed its old appearance to a new one.

In 1949, when the Kuomintang and the Communist Party were negotiating, Mao Zedong received some representatives of the Kuomintang government.When Liu Fei and Mao Zedong talked about issues of common concern, Liu Fei expressed doubts about the prospect of peace talks, so he tentatively asked Mao Zedong: "Can you play mahjong?" "Know, know." Mao Zedong replied. "Would you prefer to fight uniformly, or to fight peacefully?" "Peace, as long as there is peace." Mao Zedong heard the meaning of Liu Fei's words and replied with a smile. Here, we hear a string of vague language, it is a double meaning, with inexhaustible meaning behind the words.On some special occasions, not saying nothing will not only leave room for yourself, but also show respect for others.In foreign affairs, we often use "visit your country at an appropriate time" to answer foreign invitations. "An appropriate time" is a vague language. relaxed environment.This is a good use of what we often call "resilient diplomacy".Just imagine that if you answer with a very definite language of "not going" or "going right away" or "going on a certain day and month", the effect will not be ideal, and you will inevitably push yourself into a "desperate situation".

In daily work, flexible management and "flexible diplomacy" have the same effect. As a manager, if you want to make good use of flexible management, you must first correct your way of thinking and break through the traditional and habitual "either-or" thinking constraints , to seek the middle state of the two opposite extremes, so that it really matches the real problem.Completely abandon the extreme concepts that have long plagued us and violate dialectics, such as "either right or wrong", "social capital or capital", and "black or white". A great man once pointed out this "absolutely clear and fixed boundary": "In addition to 'either-or', and where appropriate to admit 'either-or'!"

So, instead of this, we might as well go on the road in the morning and create a truly vast world for words and ourselves in the vast field of social interaction. Demosthenes once said: "A ship can know whether it is broken by the sound it makes, and a man can know whether he is wise or foolish by his words." In the same way, in life, we often judge ourselves by our inner thoughts, but others will judge you by what you say out of your mouth. Once a word decides the country, a person's conversation may change his life. In the 1960s, there was a civil rights activist in the United States who promoted the "racial equality movement" in the streets and alleys.His voice is calm, but his words are full of tension. Wave after wave of words is like a symphony, layering up and pushing people's hearts in a sharp manner.

When he finally roared out "I have a dream! I have a dream!" in the deepest voice, the crowd in the audience were all shocked, and they responded frantically: "Amen! Amen!" This civil rights activist named Martin Luther King swept the country with this famous "I Have a Dream" speech and rewrote the history of the United States. To conquer a person, or even a group of people, often times it is not the sword, but the tongue.Therefore, it can be said that if you have something to say, say it well, and if you say it well, life will have an extra capital invisibly. In daily social interaction, if the leader does not make a speech, or does it intentionally, he will pour out like a mountain waterfall, pouring out without stopping, without giving the other party any chance to speak, then this kind of conversation is better than the speech itself. Yet to fail. The world-renowned reporter Michael McKesson said: "Reluctance to pay attention to what others are saying is the first sign of being unpopular." Everyone has his own desire to publish. For example, several people gather together to tell stories. I have talked about several of them one by one, and both B and C have itchy mouths, and they want to talk about one or two.However, A just keeps on talking one by one, making B and C want to talk but have no chance to talk.Let's imagine that B and C must feel uncomfortable.Because they didn't have a chance to speak, they would naturally lose energy to listen, so they had to stand up and parted unhappy. A leader who sells his own opinions and feelings is actually similar to a salesperson in a store who sells his own products. If he only praises his products desperately and does not give the customer a chance to speak, he will not be able to do business with the customer.Because customers talk to you eloquently and extravagantly, at most they only regard you as a business experience, and they will never buy because of it.Conversely, only if you give the customer a room to speak, so that he has the opportunity to inquire or criticize the goods, and the two sides form discussions and negotiations, can you have a chance to make your business. If you can give others a chance to speak, you will leave a good impression on others, and it will be easier for you to take advantage of the wind in the following conversations.He arrived at his destination smoothly.There is such a little story, the truth is very clear. There is a small shop that sells goods, and the business is better than other shops. Someone asked the shop owner why, and he said: "I just like to listen to customers. They are willing to come to me for business." As a leader, daily conversations with people are not entirely for the purpose of assigning work tasks, but more for exchanging thoughts and ideas, seeking harmony in work, and at the same time, accomplishing the purpose of conversation.Therefore, whether it is an ordinary person or a leader, conversation is not a "one-man show", it is one of the forms of exchange of ideas between the two sides.No matter which side of the conversation, you should understand the real meaning of the conversation. However, in real life, some leaders like to intervene in everything, and once interjected, they will go on endlessly and think that what they say is absolutely correct. In fact, this is the biggest misunderstanding in conversation.Just imagine, a person is always talking to others about something that he relishes and thinks it will be of great interest to others, so he talks, listens, acts and sings to others, so who would listen to it?Even if he is a leader who holds power.Therefore, the focus of the conversation is to have a common topic, instead of trying to preach to everyone like a doctor of miscellaneous studies.When talking, some people always appear impatient, which makes the conversation not lively.This situation is mostly caused by the topic not responding to the words.Furthermore, if I am not interested in this conversation, this will naturally happen. If the topics are rich and free, the conversation can enter the best state.Generally speaking, people all have the instinct of self-expression, so once they have the opportunity to speak, they naturally want to speak.If there are exchanges and responses, the atmosphere of the conversation will be more active, and the mood of the participants will be more joyful and joyful. Therefore, as a leader, if you want to communicate happily with your subordinates and achieve the goal of mutual harmony through communication, it is best to choose fresh, interesting and informative topics as the conversation materials.In a conversation, if you pour cold water on remarks that do not please your ear or imply that you are detrimental to authority, or deliberately find faults like "picking bones in an egg", the effect of the conversation will not be achieved. When talking with subordinates, we should always ask ourselves: "Is it okay to say this?" Otherwise, you think that you can monopolize the conversation by suppressing the other party, but if others don't buy it, wouldn't it be in vain to ignore your words? ?Besides, if you always rely on power to show off your power of speech, people will definitely "stay away" from you. What's the point of you at that point?Even if you want to have a good talk about work, it's your own fault that people don't want to talk to you, or put on airs that make you a wallflower at the dance. No matter how powerful a leader is, his knowledge, experience, ability, and energy are all limited. There is no such thing as a person who truly "knows everything" and "can do anything."Therefore, all clever leaders put the role of subordinates as staff in an important position and pay attention to letting them fully express their opinions. (1) Create an atmosphere conducive to subordinates expressing their opinions To allow subordinates to fully express their opinions, first of all, there needs to be a good environment that allows people to fully speak.In this environment, people are free to express their opinions, both to report good news and bad news, and to have peaceful discussions and debates among different opinions. Now that you are going to listen to the opinions of your subordinates, you should also pay attention to the following three taboos when listening to your subordinates' opinions, otherwise you will not receive the desired effect. One bogey: absent-minded The attitude of the leader when listening to the opinions of the subordinates has a great influence on the emotions of the subordinates.If the attitude is serious and the spirit is focused, the subordinates will feel that the leader values ​​his opinions, and thus express their ideas without reservation.If you are absent-minded, make a phone call for a while, explain things to others for a while, and insert questions that are irrelevant to the content of the conversation for a while, it will make subordinates feel that the leader does not value his opinion and does not listen to him sincerely, thus cutting corners and putting some The important opinions that I plan to discuss will be left behind.Therefore, when listening to the opinions of subordinates, as long as it is not determined in a hurry, other things must be arranged before the conversation to avoid interference at that time. Two bogey: hasty statement When some leaders listen to the opinions of their subordinates, they tend to make a hasty statement on the spot.This is very unfavorable for subordinates to fully express their opinions.If you express your opinion in favor of it, others may not talk about it if you have different opinions; if you express your opinion on the opinion you disagree with, the speaker will be affected, preventing you from fully explaining your own ideas, or even ending the speech hastily in the middle.When the leader listens to opinions, it is best to inspire more and ask more questions, not only to make subordinates express all opinions without reservation, but also to induce him to express some opinions that he did not consider in advance.In order to make the conversation stick to the theme and improve efficiency, you can also throw bricks to attract jade first, and tell everyone about your considerations and assumptions about the problem, especially the difficulties and crux of the problem, so as to inspire the thinking of subordinates.However, opinions should not be expressed too rigidly and too affirmatively, so as not to affect the full expression of different opinions. Three taboos: bury your head in the record Keeping one's head buried in the record, of course, means that the leader attaches great importance to it, but if he does not pay attention to thinking, he will often miss the merits of subordinates' opinions or the valuable opinions contained in them.Among the opinions of subordinates, except for those who fully agree with the leaders' opinions or deal with things, whether it is supplementary opinions or different opinions, whether it is a long speech or a few words, there will be some merits, and it may even help to open up the mind. Valuable content worth exploring.Therefore, when a leader listens to opinions, it is true that he must use notes to write down the main points, but more importantly, he must pay attention to thinking, be good at capturing and discovering meaningful content from the speeches of his subordinates, and bring them up in time to arouse people's attention. think further. (2) Treat negative opinions correctly When a leader solicits the opinions of his subordinates, some people often raise opposing opinions, which is a normal phenomenon.However, whether the negative opinions can be treated correctly is a very important issue related to whether the subordinates can fully express their opinions and whether they can learn wisdom from the opinions of the subordinates. The so-called negative opinion refers to the opinion that is contrary to the opinion of the leader or the opinion of the dominant majority.The word negative opinion does not contain the meaning of whether the content is correct or not. It may be wrong or correct, so it should not be confused with wrong opinion.Only by clarifying this point can we correctly understand and deal with opposing opinions. Leaders should encourage and support subordinates to put forward different opinions, and pay attention to discovering negative opinions.When there is a negative opinion on the discussion issue, neither categorically reject it nor rush to explain it.Instead, listen carefully and patiently with a warm and welcoming attitude, and let the proposers explain their opinions and reasons in detail, and then carefully analyze their opinions.Reasonable parts of them should be affirmed and incorporated into plans or resolutions. If some reasonable opinions are temporarily inconvenient to be included due to some objective reasons, they should also be clearly stated so that the commenters can understand.For the unreasonable parts, it should be discussed to explain the truth positively and help the commenters raise their awareness. (3) To correctly identify and deal with erroneous opinions In discussions of program development and decision-making, some dissenting views (including opposing views) sound plausible but are actually wrong.Managers must be good at identifying these erroneous opinions, and according to their different natures, take appropriate methods and give correct answers. Some of these erroneous opinions are due to the fact that the speakers have different specific positions, and they ask questions from their own perspectives, making the mistake of ignoring the whole and making partial generalizations.Some are due to seeking perfection and blaming certain shortcomings and deficiencies in the plan to make a big fuss.This is not to simply deny such opinions, but to calmly analyze how much impact these shortcomings and deficiencies have on the plan, whether corresponding measures can be taken to solve them, and how to supplement and modify these shortcomings and deficiencies so that The program is getting better and better, and so on. In short, for erroneous opinions, leaders must calmly analyze them carefully, clarify where they are wrong, adopt corresponding methods, explain the truth patiently, so that the speaker's understanding can be improved, and the formulation of plans and decisions will not be affected; and Learn as much as possible from these erroneous opinions to make the plans and decisions formulated more perfect. (4) Respond to the opinions of subordinates In order to keep the enthusiasm of subordinates for expressing their opinions undamaged and sustainable, leaders need to have opinions on subordinates, whether they are right or wrong, positive or negative, important or unimportant, valuable or Anything worthless should be accounted for.For correct and valuable opinions, not only accept them verbally, but also adopt them at work, and give them praise and even rewards.The merits of all opinions should be absorbed into the plan or work, and the commenters should be informed.For opinions that have no merit and are wrong, you should also express your gratitude to those who put forward opinions, explain that giving opinions means caring for the collective, and caring is worthy of gratitude. Encourage them to continue to care about the cause of the collective in the future, and if they find problems and have any ideas Bring it up in time. The former Soviet writer Gorky said that if a person speaks at length, it means that he does not understand what he is talking about. When speaking in public, some people are eloquent and catch every listener with the tentacles of language, which is naturally admirable; some people condense their meaning into a few words, like grains of heavy stones, It is also commendable to stir up layers of waves in the calm lake of hearts of the audience.On the other hand, if shortness is more powerful, or just as powerful, why bother with long words? The speech is short and powerful, without beating around the bush and giving out side details. You must grasp the essence and make clever comparisons in order to hit the point. In the 1930s, Mr. Zou Taofen, a well-known journalist, politician and publisher in my country, delivered a speech at a meeting of all walks of life in Shanghai commemorating Mr. Lu Xun: "It's getting late today, and I would like to use one sentence to commemorate Mr.: many people surrender without fighting, but Mr. Lu Xun did not surrender after fighting." Mr. Zou Taofen's one-sentence speech was hailed as the most distinctive speech at that time. speech.Even now, people still admire Mr. Zou Taofen's concise and powerful speech. There is a saying in our country that goes well, "Toads crow from night to dawn, and they will not attract people's attention; the rooster only crows once, and people get up to work."Indeed, the person who can talk is not necessarily the one who talks the most. The most important thing is to speak well, and it is useless to talk more. The manager of a large Japanese automobile company wanted to order a large amount of flannelette for the seat cushions in the carriages.There are three stores that have sent samples and want to take on this big business.After seeing the samples of these three stores, the manager agreed on a date and asked the three stores to send people to negotiate. Because this is a big business, of course the three stores each select their eloquent staff to go there.The people sent by stores A and B are middle-level leaders who are good at talking, and the person sent by store C is also very smart, but unfortunately he got a throat problem that day. If he asked for leave due to illness, he would feel sorry for the shopkeeper when he saw a huge business lost because of him;After hesitating for a long time, he went anyway.When he arrived, he saw the staff from stores A and B talking eloquently, describing their own products as rare in the sky and unparalleled in the earth.He had no choice but to write on a piece of paper: "I have a throat problem today. I can't speak, so I won't talk. Anyway, you have seen the goods. It is useless if I talk too much." The manager actually said: "It doesn't matter, let me try to speak for you." Unexpectedly, the manager actually helped him analyze the goods in his store clearly.Therefore, Store C finally took over the huge business naturally. Although the above example is somewhat accidental, it is not completely unreasonable. We often say that "words are the voice of the heart", and "sincerity" naturally does not need too much "confession". We often encounter silence in social life. Some silences are beneficial to two or more parties, while others are abnormal silences caused by a certain party’s inadvertence or inconsistent topics. So what should we do after the latter kind of silence appears? Woolen cloth?Here are a few ways to break the silence. Generally speaking, there are two basic requirements for breaking the silence. One is an in-depth analysis of the real reasons for the silence.Suppose your subordinate Xiao Wang is unwilling to talk because of acute pharyngitis. You go to visit him and want to hear what he has to say, but the result is counterproductive, but you think that Xiao Wang is not interested in your concern, so you change the subject to break the other party’s silence. That would certainly not work. Second, in the process of breaking the silence, don't give the other party a sense of oppression.Only by subtly breaking the silence can the enthusiasm of language communication and the fun of social interaction be brought to both parties.For example: It is the first time for your subordinates to participate in a group activity of a certain club, and they may be taciturn due to restraint. At this time, you can take the initiative to introduce the relevant situation to him, and introduce you. In a relaxed and happy atmosphere, your subordinates will not know it. As soon as possible, the sense of restraint was removed, and the silence was broken. Of course, breaking the silent situation should start from many aspects. (1) Breaking the silence of self-inflicted If you have a strong sense of leadership and airs, making people keep you at a respectful distance, and causing the other party to remain silent, you should actively check yourself, and try to be more active, enthusiastic, and easy-going in social situations. If you are too domineering and make the other person feel disgusted, resulting in silence, you should pay attention to cultivating the character of modesty and prudence, properly praise the other party's strengths in social situations, and sincerely express that you can learn from the other party. If you are eloquent and talk endlessly, which leads to the silence of the other party, you should pay attention to your own speech should be enough, and take the initiative to solicit the views and opinions of the other party, so that the other party has the opportunity to express their own positions and opinions.Don't let people think that you are "preaching" unilaterally, but should make people feel that you are communicating with each other in two ways, let the other party have the impression that you attach great importance to his point of view, arouse his desire to talk, so that the conversation will not be bogged down. In silence. (2) Break the other person's silence If the other party shows disinterest in this topic and refuses to speak for a long time, it is best to change the topic immediately, choose something the other party is willing to talk about, or deliberately create opportunities for the other party to change the topic by themselves. If the other party is not prepared in advance and is interested in the topic but doesn't know where to start, then you should use concise and inspiring conversations to broaden the other party's horizons, enliven the other party's thinking, and arouse the other party's interest in the conversation. If the other party has too much sense of self-defense and does not speak easily, try to create an informal conversation atmosphere, encourage the other party to talk without scruples, praise some of their reasonable views, and urge them to enter the conversation. (3) Break the silence caused by the relationship between the two parties If it is because the two parties do not know each other well and do not know what to talk about, then they should take the initiative to introduce themselves, and make the conversation cover as wide a field as possible, from which they can find the common topics of both parties. If there is silence due to past friction or estrangement between the two parties, then you should take a high profile and seek common ground while reserving minor differences, or simply put aside the past estrangement and talk to them enthusiastically to enhance the atmosphere of trust and friendliness. If there has just been an argument and there is silence, then you should calm down and talk about undisputed issues calmly; if the situation is too deadlocked, you can suggest a third party present to mediate and break the silence. (4) Break the silence caused by the environment If the other party feels that this environment is not suitable for talking, then you can change the environment, maybe he is willing to open his mind and communicate with you.If the other party thinks that individual factors in the environment hinder the conversation, these interfering factors can be eliminated under possible conditions so that the other party can actively participate in the conversation. When talking with others, to correctly understand what the other person is saying, you must listen carefully to what the other person is saying. This is the first step to a successful conversation.How to do it? (1) Concentrate on Listening attentively to the speaker's speech requires the leader to pay special attention when listening to the other party's speech, and at the same time, listen with a positive attitude. In order to concentrate, it is necessary to avoid the phenomenon of absent-mindedness and "serious errands".Even if you are already familiar with the topic, you should not turn a deaf ear to it, and you must not disperse your attention on researching countermeasures, because it is very easy to happen that if the speaker’s speech has meaning, we do not understand or understand it wrongly, resulting in The effect of getting twice the result with half the effort. (2) Concentrate This is the most basic and important question of the art of listening.According to the statistics of psychologists, the average person's speaking speed is 120-180 words per minute, while the speed of obedience and thinking is about 4 times faster than the speaking speed.Therefore, it is often the speaker who has not finished speaking, and the listener can understand most of it.As a result, the listener often "snaps away" due to the surplus of energy.Then in case the content of the other party's speech deviates from what we understand, or a wrong message is delivered, it is too late to regret. Therefore, as a leader, you must pay attention to listening to each other's speeches at all times.Listening with a positive attitude rather than a negative one is more likely to succeed in such listening.Look at the speaker while listening, actively make eye contact with the speaker, and make corresponding facial expressions to encourage the speaker.For example, you can raise your head, or smile slightly, or nod in agreement, or shake your head negatively, or frown puzzledly, etc. These actions can help us concentrate and help us achieve a good listening effect. What needs special attention is that during the conversation, when the other party's speech is sometimes difficult for us to understand or even unacceptable, we must not plug our ears and express a rejection attitude, because such an approach is harmful to the conversation. Very unfavorable. As a leader, you should develop the habit of listening patiently to the other party, which is also a sign of a successful leader's personal cultivation. (3) Discrimination and trade-offs On the basis of attentive listening, in order to achieve a good listening effect, leaders can adopt a discriminating approach to listen to others' speeches.Usually, when people speak, they think while talking, and they say what they think of. Sometimes expressing a meaning requires a lot of detours. From the surface, there is no point at all.Therefore, on the basis of attentive listening, leaders need to identify the authenticity of the information delivered, discard the dross and select the essence, and keep the truth from the false, so that they can grasp the key points and receive good listening effects. (4) Overcome preconceptions If the leader listens preconceivedly, he will often distort the original intention of the speaker and ignore or reject opinions that do not match his own. This practice is really unfavorable.Because this kind of leadership does not analyze the other party's speech from the standpoint of the talker, but listens to the other party's conversation according to one's own subjective framework.As a result, the information heard is often distorted and reflected in one's own brain, leading to inaccurate information received by the leader and mistakes in judgment, resulting in mistakes in behavior choices.Therefore, we must overcome preconceived listening practices and listen to the speaker's meaning completely and thoroughly. (5) Do not underestimate the other party When people despise others, they often show it in their behavior consciously or unconsciously.For example, dismissing the presence of others, or turning a deaf ear to the other person's conversation, and so on.In a conversation, this dismissive approach can do more harm than good.Because this not only shows the narrowness of the leader, but more importantly, it is difficult to get the information you need from other people's words.