Chapter 8 Chapter Seven Principles of Proper Speech by Leaders

Try not to say profound and novel words, but start the topic with the trivial things around you, which is the key to the success of interpersonal relationships. ——Ding Maffey The so-called proper speaking means speaking at the right time, the situation, the situation, and the opportunity, and everything is based on the principle of moderation and appropriateness.To some extent, words reflect a leader's disposition and self-cultivation.The leader's speech is well measured, and it feels to the people around him that it is the result of careful consideration.Therefore, it is very important for leaders to speak properly, and they should think twice before speaking.Verbal skills may seem trivial, but for a leader, the scale and proportion of speaking is the foundation for laying the image!

In the early years of the Western Han Dynasty, Liu Bang, Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty, defeated Xiang Yu and pacified the world, and began to reward meritorious deeds.This is a ten thousand-year foundation that concerns future generations. Naturally, the officials did their part and fought for each other's merits. They had been arguing for more than a year and couldn't stop arguing. Liu Bang, Emperor Gaozu of the Han Dynasty, believed that Xiao He had made the most contributions, so he made Xiao He a Marquis and had the most lands.But the ministers were not convinced in their hearts, and they discussed in private.The matter of ennobling and accepting the salary was finally settled, and the ministers disputed the position of the seat one after another. Many people said: "Pingyang Hou Cao Shen suffered seventy wounds, and led his troops to attack the city and conquer the territory. He has won many battles and won the most credit. , he should be ranked first." Liu Bang had already favored Xiao He when awarding the award, and had wronged some heroes, so it was difficult to insist on his own position in the seat.But in his heart, he still wanted to rank Xiao He first.At this time, E Jun, the Marquis of Guannei, had figured out Liu Bang's intentions, so he pushed the boat forward and volunteered to say: "Everyone's comments are wrong! Although Cao Shen has military exploits, they are only temporary achievements. The emperor fought against the overlord of Chu for five years, often He lost his troops and fled everywhere, but Xiao He often sent troops from Guanzhong to fill the gaps in the battle line. Chu and Han fought in Xingyang for several years, and the army was short of food. The emperor avoided Shandong several times, and it was only by relying on Xiao He to protect Guanzhong that he was able to help the emperor smoothly. He came to protect it! Why do you think that the merit of a moment is higher than the merit of a lifetime? Therefore, I advocate that Xiao He is the first, and Cao Shen is the second."

These words hit Liu Bang's heart, Liu Bang was naturally very happy when he heard it, and praised him again and again, so he ordered Xiao He to be the first in the list, he could bring his sword to the palace, and he didn't have to rush when he went to court.As a result, Mr. E was granted the title of "Marquis of Anping", and his fiefdom was nearly doubled.Relying on his ability to observe words and emotions, he has something to say and has a sense of measure, and he has enjoyed all his life's glory and wealth. The opposite of saying that there is a degree is "lost degree". What is "lost degree"?Generally speaking, speaking rudely to people, or exposing people's shortcomings in front of everyone, or not saying what should be said, or saying everything that should not be said, these are all manifestations of "loss of measure".Below we will briefly introduce some topics that are taboo in leadership conversations. Contacting these topics can easily lead to "lostness" in the conversation and produce adverse effects.

So in real life, how should leaders avoid speaking inappropriately? (1) Do not talk about the privacy of others Don't easily touch on topics that involve other people's privacy, including age, price of things, salary, etc., which may easily arouse disgust from others. (2) Do not talk about controversial topics Unless you are very clear about the other party's position, you should avoid talking about controversial and sensitive topics, such as religion, politics, parties and other topics that are likely to cause arguments or confrontational stalemate between the two parties.

(3) Do not ask about health status at will Asking health questions to someone you're meeting for the first time or someone you don't know well can come across as abrupt, although that's not the case if you're talking to someone very close. (4) Do not talk about personal misfortunes Don't bring up the hurt he suffered, such as his divorce or the death of his family, with his colleagues.Of course, if the other party brings it up, you should show sympathy and listen to him, but don't ask endlessly just to satisfy your curiosity. You must have a sense of proportion in the conversation, recognize your leadership status, and consider the wording appropriately.What should be said, what should not be said, and what should be said to achieve a better conversation effect, should be paid attention to in the conversation.At the same time, we must also pay attention to speaking as objectively as possible, seeking truth from facts, not exaggerating, and constantly taking meaning from context.Speak as sincerely as possible, with good intentions, and try not to say words that are harsh and sarcasm to others, and do not say words that irritate or hurt others.

The so-called proper speech means speaking at the right time, the situation, the situation, and the opportunity, and everything is based on the principle of moderation and appropriateness.To some extent, words reflect a leader's disposition, knowledge, and cultivation.Therefore, it is very important for a leader to speak appropriately. In a word, the following two points should be paid attention to: (1) Speech should be divided into objects Different objects will have different reactions to the same sentence, and even lead to diametrically opposite effects.In interpersonal communication, you will come into contact with people of various professions, and everyone's profession should be respected.

a. People of different genders.There is also a difference between speaking to men and women. Some things that can be said to men may not be said to women.Because there are differences in language responses between men and women, this difference is mostly caused by psychological differences between genders.The tolerance of the two to the language situation is also different.Generally speaking, men are more tolerant of language situations, and ordinary jokes will not cause embarrassment to men.Women are less able to bear language situations, so they should pay special attention when joking. b. People of different ages.People of different ages have different experiences and different interests. Talking to them should start from their psychological state.For example, to healthy young and middle-aged people, if they say that Grandpa Zhang is dead and Grandma Li is dying, they will just listen to it, and will not have any associations or antipathy.But if it is definitely inappropriate to say these things to the elderly, it will make the other party feel very unpleasant and even cause harm.

c. People with different levels of education.In communication situations, people have different levels of education. People with low levels of education are not used to using written language, and they should use spoken language when speaking to them; if they use words close to written language, or elegant words, it will be difficult to communicate and exchange.It should be noted that people with a high cultural level like to listen to euphemistic words, not questioning or rude words. d. People of different nationalities.Language and culture are interdependent.The culture of each nation must be reflected in its language, so the cultural differences of different nations can be seen from the language.People's understanding of a certain language is often based on figuring out the national cultural background of this language, and the conflict between two national cultures will lead to very different reactions to the same sentence.

As the saying goes: look at what people say, tailor clothes.That's the reason.In the Qing Dynasty, Zhu Bolu said in "Family Governance": "Don't talk to frustrated people, but talk about happy things", which also warned people to look at the target before speaking.Therefore, the purpose of speaking should be to not arouse the other party's disgust and to be able to understand information and exchange emotions, and speak according to the specific situation of the speaking target. (2) Speak strategically While paying attention to speaking appropriately as a leader, we must pay more attention to the strategic nature of language expression.As the saying goes, "Water has no shape, and words have no fixed frame."Because the specific situation is different, there is no fixed method of speaking.The same thing, if you say it to Zhang San here and now, the effect will be good; but if you say it to Zhang San then and there, it may not be good.Therefore, the leader's speech should proceed from the actual situation and pay attention to strategy.

a. Clear and vague.Clarity is the opposite of vagueness.In interpersonal communication, in addition to using vague words, words with clear semantic boundaries need to be used in more places.When to use vague language and when to use explicit language, this involves the strategy of language expression. Generally speaking, it depends on the purpose of communication, the situation of communication and the object of communication. Use clear language when commending, which can improve the effectiveness of the praise, thereby motivating the enthusiasm of those who are praised and everyone.When criticizing or giving advice to others, it is not advisable to speak too bluntly, let alone say what you say to death, but leave room for it to be right about the matter and not about the person. It is best to use vague language.All people have self-respect, otherwise they would not be able to play the role of criticism.Even if the other party has done something that should not be done or made a serious mistake, in order to achieve good results in curing diseases and saving lives and achieve the ideal goal, we should be kind to others and pay attention to the methods and methods of criticism.In work and daily life, we often encounter some things that are inconvenient to explain to the masses or others, and we can usually express them in vague language.

b. Outspoken and reserved.Some people have an exposed personality, and you can see his internal organs from the conversation. This kind of person can treat each other with sincerity and will not harbor evil intentions when getting along with others.Some people have self-restraint, speak tactfully, reservedly and leave room, pay more attention to the art of speaking, and can be pleasing when getting along with others.The speaking styles of these two kinds of people have their own strengths and weaknesses. Being outspoken and irritating can easily hurt the self-esteem of the other party and offend others, so most people don't like the way of speaking outspokenly.Usually just say "with all due respect", no one says "with all due respect".But most people like to listen to euphemistic and implicit words, which imply respect for others and themselves.Euphemistic words are polite and appropriate, and they are relaxed and pleasant to listen to. c. Short and long-winded.Concise and refined language can enhance the charm of language, which is the expression of superb knowledge and thinking ability.Just as Shakespeare said: Simplicity is the soul of wisdom, and length is the embellishment of superficiality.Concise language is a manifestation of a person's decisive character. A person with strong self-confidence will never speak sloppyly, but decisively.But succinctness is not the same as simplicity for a leader. In many cases, it is many times more difficult to speak in one sentence than in a long speech. d. Suppress what you want to say.The ingenuity of the indirect expression method of suppressing words before speaking and meaning beyond words is that the speaker avoids answering questions directly, and while keeping silent, he cleverly creates confusion to make the other party actively and continuously ask questions.And each question is closer to the real intention of the speaker than the previous one, and finally ends with a finishing touch, so that the point can be stopped, so that the other party can think, solve doubts in their own questions and the indirect answers they get, and finally solve the problem. own questions. e. Talk first and talk later.There is a big difference in the meaning and effect of speaking first and speaking later, so it must be carefully considered.Speaking first or speaking later can show a person's way of thinking and ideas. Modesty is a virtue.For leaders, it is a magic weapon to establish a good speaking image. Social life is complicated, and people will always encounter some things or occasions where it is inconvenient to speak out, which requires us to master euphemistic and subtle speaking skills. In daily communication, leaders always encounter some things that are inconvenient to say, can’t bear to say, or cannot be said directly due to the limitation of the language environment, so they have to "evade words to conceal meaning, and use strange metaphors to refer to things" (Liu Xie, "Wen Heart Carved Dragon · Xieyin"), intentionally said something related or similar to the original intention, to set off the meaning that was intended to be said directly, so that the communication that might have been very difficult at first became smooth. In the following situations, you can express your opinions in a tactful and subtle way, and you will often get unexpected results. When it comes to expressing something, an action, or a request that is difficult to say, subtlety can help you out. It is inconvenient to speak clearly about some difficult issues, but when everyone can understand, in order to take care of the other person's face and maintain their own dignity, you can conceal it when speaking in public, and let the audience experience it for themselves. On February 21, 1972, Nixon visited China and stayed at the Diaoyutai State Guesthouse.Nixon, Kissinger and staff from the White House were arranged in Building 18, while Secretary of State Rogers and others lived in Building 6 not far away. Kissinger lived in this building during his previous two visits.From the arrangement of the residence, Nixon noticed that Zhou Enlai was very familiar with the national conditions of the United States and knew the system of "separation of three powers and checks and balances" established by American power. After arriving at the hotel, everyone sat down on the sofas arranged in a big circle in the living room. Premier Zhou Enlai greeted the American guests one by one, and made a few small jokes from time to time during the greetings to enliven the atmosphere. At that time, due to the lack of formal diplomatic relations between China and the United States and historical reasons, the expression of many issues was difficult.How to maintain one's dignity without embarrassing the other party has become the ideal state of diplomatic activities.When negotiating, the use of implicit methods can not only express one's own meaning, make the other party get it right away, but also make the negotiation go smoothly. Zhou Enlai's diplomatic style is clearly reflected in the use of implicit methods. In the evening, at the reception welcoming President Nixon and his party, Zhou Enlai said: "Due to reasons known to all, the exchanges between the peoples of the two countries have been interrupted for more than 20 years..." This "reason everyone knows" is really wonderful. It makes people here know that the cause of this fact is the US blockade and interference in New China, but it does not hurt the face of the Americans.Hearing this "reason", the Americans and Chinese present tacitly smiled at each other. When you don't want to, don't have or need to directly criticize some wrong words and deeds, use implicit language to make euphemistic and indirect criticism, which can not only save face for the criticized, but also make the point clear.Always remember that if you criticize others sternly instead of tactfully and indirectly, you may have forgotten it long ago, but the person you hurt will never forget it. Chinese people attach great importance to the issue of "face", and we should also pay attention to this when colleagues and friends criticize each other.There are many people in life who don't pay attention to this, and often ruthlessly strip off other people's face and hurt their self-esteem, but they are still self-righteous.In fact, as long as you think about it calmly, for those who are introverted, save face, or who are occasionally negligent and suspicious at work, you only need to implicitly express this kind of criticism, and you can achieve your ideal goal. Charles Scoble once passed his steel factory, it was lunch break, he saw several workers smoking, and there happened to be a big sign above their heads, which read clearly: "Strictly No smoking".Instead of yelling at the "No Smoking" sign, Scoble walked towards those people, handed them a few cigars in a friendly manner, and said, "Guys, if you can go outside and smoke these cigars, then I will I am really grateful.” When everyone heard this, they realized that they had violated the regulations of the factory, so they all extinguished their cigarettes.Scoble's criticism is implicit and full of human touch, so everyone is willing to accept such criticism. When you are not sure whether some of your requirements and wishes are reasonable, whether others support them, or you are inconvenient to speak out out of demeanor, using implicit language can help you maintain your self-esteem, avoid embarrassment, and achieve success. "Tan Sou" records such a thing: Song Taizu once promised to grant Zhang Rong the post of chief historian, but he did not order it for a long time.So when Zhang Rong went to court, he deliberately rode a skinny and sick horse.When Taizu saw him, he asked, "Aiqing's horse is too thin. How much food do you feed it every day?" Zhang Rong said, "Feed one stone every day." "I promised not to give it in my mouth." Taizu understood Zhang Rong's words, and soon granted Situ the official post of historian. But implicitness is not paradoxical, pretending to be profound.The purpose of implicitness is to let the other party hear the "undertones" and "undertones" to achieve the purpose of speaking.If implicitness is understood as evasive and evasive, it runs counter to the purpose of implicitness.In public speeches to inspire fighting spirit and exchange ideas, it is better to speak frankly and directly. If you speak too implicitly, people will think you are too hypocritical and artificial, and they will not understand the purpose of your speech.As for public speeches such as news releases and debates, you might as well be more reserved and use more "overtones". (1) keen insight Keen insight is to be right in one sentence, hit the point, explain the essence through phenomena, talk about the mainstream without side details, and get to the point straight to the point. (2) Unique creativity The truth is not afraid of repetition, but the truth is afraid of being too "repetitive".If there is always such an "old face" and "old tune", even the truth will be annoying.Leaders' speeches must bring new ideas to the truth, make people willing to accept it, and resonate with the audience. (3) Inner attraction From an external point of view, vivid speeches are attractive. In fact, as ordinary people, they analyze and understand leaders more through speeches.Therefore, speaking as a leader, you should work hard on the inner "God".This requires us to be good at grasping the psychology of the masses, understand what the masses think and expect, and try our best to make what you say is exactly what the masses want to hear, so as to enhance the inner attraction. (4) Strong persuasion The purpose of leaders' speeches is to influence people, guide them, and even change people's thoughts and behaviors. To achieve this, the power of administrative intervention alone is relatively limited. The key is that leaders' speeches must be persuasive.Through speaking, you can really convince people and really convince people.Losing this point, it can only be said that it can only be "grinding lime on the mouth-white grinding".Therefore, we must clearly explain the content that the masses care about, without dragging the water; we must explain the content that the masses do not understand, without ambiguity;Otherwise, you tell your story and others do their own.You are wasting time by speaking on a routine basis; if others listen to the lecture as a last resort, it is tantamount to not listening. (5) Strong appeal The stronger the infection, the better the effect.It's bland and stagnant, and no one likes to listen to it, so everyone will point to the speaker and say "not level".Therefore, as a leader, your speech cannot infect the audience, and the audience will in turn "infect" you.Therefore, we must pay attention to studying the psychology of the audience, grasp the situation on the spot, pay attention to the performance of "live broadcast", and calmly deal with the situation.We must be good at using the art of language that appeals to work, or use philosophical language, or use unrestrained comments, or use fiery comments, or use motivational language, etc., to arouse the enthusiasm of the masses and enhance the confidence of the masses. (6) Distinct appeal An excellent leader can quickly unite the hearts of the masses and organize the strength of the masses through a speech.And some mediocre leaders, who have been talking for a long time, are purely empty preaching, and people can't listen to them at all, "I won't follow your way", how can they have appeal?Leaders should do some research on enhancing their "call to action."It is necessary to play the role of motivation and agitation through speech to achieve the purpose of work. (1) Avoid "sets" Applying a ready-made model seems to save worry and effort, but the effect is extremely poor. (2) Avoid "empty" It's just shouting slogans, talking nonsense, or having opinions but no arguments; only demands but no measures, making people confused. "Spittle stars are flying all over the sky", in fact, it doesn't work.When we deploy a certain job, if people don’t know how to do it after listening to it, or if we don’t state specific requirements, so that the audience feels that it doesn’t make any difference whether to do it or not, to do it well or not to do it well, It is better not to speak like this. (3) Avoid "flatness" That is, it is bland, the point of view is flat, the language is weak, and the speech is generalized throughout, making people feel that no problems have been solved after listening. (4) Avoid "long" From the perspective of public psychology, everyone does not like to listen to long speeches, because "time is money, and benefit is life".Modern society requires leaders to "cherish words like gold", speak crisply and neatly, without sloppiness, discard empty phrases, wring out "moisture", and really use short and concise language to inspire and inspire people. (5) Avoid "stiffness" The language is rigid and the audience is afraid.Leaders should use simple and lively language as much as possible, and express their meaning through language that is popular with the masses and expressive. Even profound, deep, and profound principles, concepts, and ideas should be colloquial and popular.Make it easy for the people to accept, and make it easy for the masses to be educated, inspired, and guided. (6) Avoid "rough" Leadership speech must not be "vulgar".Leaders should not only be disseminators of advanced ideas, but also disseminator of advanced culture.Speech should not be vulgar, but as aesthetically pleasing as possible. (7) Avoid "soft" The process of the leader's speech is also the process of the leader mobilizing, instructing and encouraging the subordinates.Only by improving the appeal and appeal of the speech, so that people can be influenced by it, can you win the approval of your subordinates, thereby enhancing the effect of the speech.Otherwise, the speech will not be powerful and make people drowsy. Not only will it not be able to attract the masses, it will not be able to guide the work, but it will make the masses feel disgusted. "Heavy attention to promises and light on fulfillment" is the chief culprit for the decline of many leaders' prestige, poor image, complaints and even loss of subordinates.Commitment is a "double-edged sword". It can not only inspire people's confidence and encourage people's courage, but also discourage people's determination and courage.Therefore, it is a compulsory course for every leader to grasp the scale of promise and fulfillment. Leaders make promises easily because they think promises are the easiest thing to do and the fastest way to motivate people to work hard.Effortlessly, he blurted out, and said what he wanted to say, as much as he wanted to say, not only the audience was excited, but also the leader himself was deeply infected, as if the exciting results were right in front of them, and people could reach them. But compared with the ease of promise, fulfillment is not so easy and easy.Many people fail to deliver on even the smallest of promises after a lifetime of effort. This is the reality, and leaders are no exception. The higher the promise, the harder it is to fulfill it. Once the fulfillment fails, the greater the disappointment will be. When the disappointment exceeds a certain limit, it is despair.This means death.Compared with what I blurted out at the time, fulfilling my promise is not an easy task.At this time, the leaders will regret the Haikou they boasted at that time, and in the end they will be hard on themselves.Promises that cannot be fulfilled are the easiest way to make people go to the opposite side.Many times people's original expectations are not high, but they are stimulated by easy promises from the leaders, and the expectations suddenly rise. Although they know in their hearts that it is unrealistic, but people are like this, "it's easy to get up and hard to get off".When it’s time to cash in, he only compares with his own expectations. As long as he can’t meet them, he will be disappointed and lose confidence. Next time you say something, he may never believe it again.If this disappointment is too great, to the point of despair, then I am afraid there will be no other possibility except to leave. A more serious problem is that many leaders simply don't intend to deliver.The promise at the beginning was just to "play with you" and let you work hard. Now that your value is not great, there is no need to honor it.This kind of pragmatic view of crossing the river and tearing down the bridge is simply to make the company commit suicide, because your credit decline and the injustice to employees will affect all employees of the company. , no confidence in the leadership.If it was done by you, it must be out of helplessness, otherwise, I would definitely leave as soon as I get a chance.This kind of deliberate dishonesty will bring catastrophic harm to the enterprise, and no amount of effort or money can save it. Therefore, the leaders should not talk nonsense, talk about half the point, leave some room for themselves and others, and don't get too addicted and hurt your credibility, otherwise the gain outweighs the loss. In daily conversations, many leaders who flaunt their own personalities believe in the phrase "a gentleman pays great respects without regard to trivial matters", thinking that they should grasp the general direction in their work, and ignore some inconspicuous things as much as possible, and there is no need to be petty.Don't you know that it is these inconspicuous details that affect his speaking image all the time, reduce the other party's interest in talking with him, and even cause others to dislike him.Therefore, it is better to be careful and try to correct it. (1) illiterate Some people often have some vague words in the conversation, which makes people not understand or misunderstand his meaning.Therefore, if you don’t say anything, as long as you open your mouth, it’s best to treat each word as a word and say it clearly and accurately. (2) The words are noisy This is more uncomfortable than liking to use redundant words, adding a lot of meaningless noise when speaking.For example, while talking, there is a "humming" sound in the nose, or before each sentence, you must first clear your throat, and some people add a few "uh" words in a sentence... These noises will make people feel a kind of physiological discomfort, as if they have covered your wonderful language with a layer of dust. (3) Use general words There are many people who like to use one word to replace many words. For example, he uses a "good" word instead on all satisfactory occasions.He said: "This song is really good." "This is a good article." "This mountain is good, and the water is good." "This house is good." Want to know how it all works.Is the house spacious, or is it chic in design?Is this person very honest, or is he generous and pleasing to others?The word "good" alone makes people a little confused.There are also such people who use the word "that" to replace almost all adjectives, for example: "This film is indeed very that." It’s quite that.”… This type of problem is mainly due to laziness in the mind, unwillingness to spend a little more effort to find an appropriate and appropriate word.If you let this habit go unchecked, what you say tends to make people feel general and empty, without content, and thus will not get proper attention from others. (4) Exaggerated I like to use exaggerated language to emphasize the characteristics of a thing in order to attract the attention of others.But there are also people who use this statement no matter what the occasion.For example: "This opinion is very important." "This book is wonderfully written." "This is a very great play." "This approach is extremely dangerous." "This woman is simply unspeakably beautiful." …and so on, if you speak too much, others will naturally discount your exaggerated words, which greatly reduces the prestige of your language. (5) The logic is messy When narrating the truth, the most important thing is to be clear and organized.Therefore, before talking, you must organize the things you want to talk about in your mind, divide them into several clear paragraphs, and get rid of many unimportant details.Otherwise, speaking will be procrastinated and confused.Especially when a person narrates his own personal experience, it is easier to be very energetic and eager to tell the whole story of what he has seen and heard, but the result sounds very difficult. (6) Pretentiousness There are many forms of affectation, some people like to add a few words in English or French to the conversation; some people like to add a few academic terms to the conversation; some people like to hang some popular words in the Oral; some people like to quote a few famous quotes and put them in inappropriate places.This will make people feel that you are showing off your knowledge and pretending to be profound, which is not as easy to accept as natural and plain words. Someone asked the 28th President of the United States Woodrow Wilson: "How long does it take you to prepare a ten-minute speech?" Wilson replied, "Two weeks." "How about preparing a one-hour speech?" "One week." "What about the two-hour speech?" "No preparation, you can speak right away." What's going on here?The reason is simple, the longer the speech, the less task the speaker has to compress the content of the speech, and naturally the less preparation time is required.Conversely, the shorter the speech time, the more effort the speaker has to compress the text, and strive to convey the main content to the audience clearly and without omission as soon as possible. Of course, it will take more time and a lot of trouble. my country's Liaoning Provincial Youth Friendship Visiting Group visited Toyama County, Japan.Before going abroad, I made some preparations and wrote a stack of speeches.After arriving in Japan, the head of the delegation received the event program drawn up by the Japanese side, but asked the Chinese side to speak from 10:17:20 to 10:18:20, and only gave one minute.This time, the head of the group was anxious.As a result, the whole group worked together for more than 3 hours, pondering every sentence, deliberating each word, pressing and pressing the speech draft, refining it to be precise and precise. When the head of the delegation made a speech, he imitated the appearance of the Japanese side and ran on the field.As a result, including the time occupied by the applause interrupting the speech, it took 90 seconds.Afterwards, the head of the group said with emotion: "This incident has given us too much inspiration..." Do you think it is better for one person to talk more?Is it better to be silent?According to the saying "words are iron, silence is gold", it means that silence is better than talking too much. A calm listener is not only popular everywhere, but will gradually know many things.And a chatterbox is like a leaky ship from which every passenger flees.At the same time, talk more to attract grievances, and talk nonsense to cause trouble.As the saying goes, too much talk leads to failure, and too much talk leads to failure. Only silence will never betray you.A person who speaks casually is often irresponsible.It is better to talk less than to talk more, to talk better than to talk less, to know more than to talk more.A thousand words do not make such an impression as a single fact.We definitely want to talk less, especially when there are people who have more experience than us, or who know more about the situation.Because if you say too much, you will expose your weakness without asking yourself, and you will lose an opportunity to gain wisdom and experience.Talk less and speak well. Therefore, as a leader, there is a kind of training that is indispensable, and that is silence and beautiful and urbane speech.It would be unfortunate if we could not speak tactfully and be silent at the right time.We often regret talking, so when you don't have a deep understanding of something, it's better to keep silent!Talking less is certainly a virtue, but since people are in society, they can talk as little as possible but not completely.It is necessary to speak, how to speak well with less, and art must be studied.In any place and occasion, it is best to speak less, and silence is worth advocating.When the time comes to speak, the content, meaning, diction, voice, and gestures of what you say must not be neglected.On what occasion, what should be said and how to say it is worth studying.Whether it is to discuss knowledge, contact business, socialize or entertain, what we say must be focused, specific and vivid.If it doesn't sing, it's a blockbuster.Although we may not be able to reach this realm, but walking towards this goal is not wrong. Know that the only secret to making your words count is to say less.A person who speaks little can think quietly, which makes his words more exciting.Being a patient listener is an important condition in the art of conversation.Because a person who can sit quietly and listen to other people's opinions will be a thoughtful person with a humble and gentle character.Among the crowd, this kind of person may not be noticed at first, but in the end he is the most respected.Because he is modest, he is liked by everyone; because he is good at thinking, he is a leader admired by everyone. The "Skills of Free Speech" written by German Lidner pointed out: "In the first 15 minutes of a 45-minute speech, the audience gets more information, but the next 30 minutes get little benefit." Therefore, the speaker Efforts must be made to prepare lectures concisely. Lenin's wife Krupskaya wrote in her memoirs: "Although Lenin has profound knowledge and rich experience as a propagandist, he carefully prepared every speech, every report, and every speech." Therefore, Lenin's "three-minute speech" has long been famous.At that time, Soviet Russia was devastated by the war, the national economy was on the verge of collapse, and paper was in short supply. The printing of newspapers including Pravda was greatly reduced, and newspapers could not be read in many areas of the country for a long time. Under such circumstances, Lenin suggested that famous activists and writers of the party and the country record their speeches as phonographs and distribute them.He personally drew up a list, including Kalinin, Dzerzhinsky, Gorky, Lunacharsky and so on. On March 29, 1919, Lenin recorded his first phonograph, "Letter to the Red Army".For technical reasons, the recording of a speech must be limited to three minutes (one side of the soundtrack).The first recording lasted more than 3 minutes. When he left the recording studio, he told the staff that he must be ready next time.After returning to his apartment, Lenin carefully considered the manuscript and practiced repeatedly with a stopwatch.On the second recording, his speech ended at exactly 3 minutes.This is the origin of Lenin's "three-minute speech".In order to mobilize the masses to defend the great achievements of the October Revolution, Lenin went deep into factories, villages, and troops, and delivered more than 300 speeches, 16 of which were recorded into audio films.In the "three-minute speech", Lenin was good at expressing rich and profound content with profound and concise words.For example, "What is Soviet Power" is only 500 words translated into Chinese, but it explains the essence, definition, function and future of the world's first working people's power very thoroughly and clearly, which makes many people who have listened to his speech people are amazed. Gorky, the founder of Soviet literature, also wrote in his memoirs: "It is the first time I have heard of the most complicated political issues being explained in such a popular way." What's more, what about our daily social activities?Therefore, talking more is worse than talking less, and talking less is worse than talking well. This is one of the basic skills that leaders should master when speaking. People are emotional animals, and the information carried by language includes not only rational information, but also emotional information.This perceptual information is very rich in connotation.Its function should not only appeal to people's reason, but also to touch people's emotions. "Success and reasoning are so fast, and the speed lies in the heart-to-heart." The heart-to-heart here refers to the sincerity of words.The so-called truth refers to not being pretentious, not being superficial, and being able to maintain the speaker's true self.The so-called sincerity is the sincerity, not concealing, and revealing the true feelings.Lincoln and Douglas, a member of the U.S. House of Lords, were rivals in the election.They once had a famous debate in Illinois that rocked America.In this debate, Lincoln not only won, but also won the title of "Sincere Abel", which is well-known in the United States, but Douglas was dubbed "Little Great Man" by the audience.Douglas is a rich man. In order to promote himself, he specially rented a beautiful special train. A cannon was placed in the back of the train, which fired 30 times at each stop, accompanied by the noise of the band, which was the most powerful in history.And uttered wild words: "Let Lincoln, a countryman, smell of nobility." Lincoln bought a ticket to ride, and boarded the horse-drawn carriage prepared in advance by his friends at every stop.Facing the powerful challenge of Douglas, he took the step of retreating and faced the challenge calmly.In a speech, he said: "Someone asked me how much property I have. I have a wife and three sons, all of which are priceless treasures. In addition, I also rented an office with a desk, three chairs, and corners. There's a big bookcase with books worth reading for everyone. I'm poor and thin myself, with a long face, and I don't get fat. I really have nothing to rely on, except you." Lincoln's sincerity is first of all not to talk about ostentation, to get closer to the hearts of voters; in terms of content, it is close to the hearts of ordinary people.Who doesn't have a wife and children, and he calls them priceless, this is emotional identification.The rented office has little furniture and large bookshelves, which caters to the ideal image of the president of the voters: honest, hardworking, and rich in knowledge.This kind of self-introduction is not without humor, which is the psychological identity of the image.Finally, don't regard yourself as the savior of the voters, but treat the voters as your only reliance, and give them decent compliments, so as to gain psychological closeness and recognition.Through these heartfelt speeches, they won the general approval of voters and won in one fell swoop. In the process of discourse communication, in order to make the other party feel the truth of emotion, the speaker's discourse must be dominated by abundant emotion from the heart.The writer Mr. Wang Qian warned us when discussing the so-called "zero-degree style": "Speaking of living people pretends to have no emotion for what they say, hides themselves behind the scenes, ignores who the audience is, and speaks impartially and without pain. Reciting some cold strips, playing with some abstract concepts, or listing some dry facts, without a trace of human touch, this can only be a sound of unknown origin passing through the air, the so-called "wind in the ear", How can it interest people, move people, and persuade people?" Someone said it well: "Only people who are dominated by emotions can make people believe that their emotions are true, because people all have the same natural tendency, only People who are most genuinely angry or sad stir up anger and depression." When Greece was facing the invasion of the Kingdom of Macedonia and was in danger of subjugation and loss of freedom, the famous Greek orator Demosthenes once made a famous speech. Every word and every word of his was full of inspiration. With extremely rich patriotic emotions in his heart, he said enthusiastically: "Even if all nations agree to endure slavery, at that time, we should also fight for freedom." With a sincere heart, his speech inspired countless Greeks to go directly to the battlefield from the square where the speech was heard, even saying goodbye to their families was considered a waste of time.His enemy, King Philip of Macedon, saw this speech and couldn't help saying with emotion: "If I had heard Demosthenes' speech myself, I would have voted for him as the leader of my opponents. " "Those who touch people's heart, don't care about emotion" can make opponents admire, how sincere and surging emotions are contained in it, and this fiery patriotic emotion erupts from the volcano in the bottom of my heart, producing earth-shattering power. 领导者当众讲话面对的听众身份复杂，这就要求领导者有强烈的对象意识，以便区别对待。正所谓“射箭要看靶子，弹琴要看听众”。说话如果“无的放矢，不看对象”肯定好不了的。 春秋时的邓析说：“夫言之术，与智者言，依于博；与辩者言，依于要；与贵者言，依于势；与富者言，依于豪；与贫者言，依于利；与勇者言，依于敢；与愚者言，依于说。”邓析的话，归结到一点，就是要针对不同的对象和对象的不同情况，采取不同的对策，话要因人而异，区别对待。 日本社会心理学家古烟和孝说得十分中肯：“即或是最有效的发送者传播最有效的信息内容，如果不考虑接受者方面的态度及其条件，也不能指望获得最大效果。” 话因人异、区别对待，首先要区别听话人的文化知识水平。 一位领导下乡问一位乡村老太太：“有配偶吗？”老人愣了半天，然后反问：“什么配偶？”领导只得换一种说法：“就是老伴呗。”老太太笑了，说：“你说老伴不就得了，俺们哪懂你们文化人说的什么配偶啊！” 那么在我们当众讲话时，由于通常面对的是广大听众，人员构成复杂，知识水平参差不齐，这就要求我们更要考虑这一点，顾及听众中大多数人的最低文化水平，尽量用简朴的语言说明一个复杂的道理，例如一位科学家为了排除群众中比较普遍存在的恐惧心理作了如下说明。 “核电站在建立的过程中，已采取了一系列严密的防范措施，因此对周围环境的放射性影响微乎其微，核电站附近居民每年所受的放射剂量只有0？3毫雷姆，而每天吸10支烟就有50～100毫雷姆；看一次彩色电视有1毫雷姆，即使核电站发展史上最严重的美国三里岛核电站事故，电站周围的居民受到的放射剂量也只有15毫雷姆，还不如戴一年夜光表所受到的剂量大。煤电站除排放有毒气体和烟灰外，也有放射污染。据对包括核能、煤炭、石油、水力、风力、太阳能等在内的11种能源的危险性进行的系统比较，核能是除天然气以外最安全的一种能源……” 在这个说明中，核科学家将晦涩的核专业知识与大众耳熟能详的日常知识相比较，根据听众的知识水平，使缺乏基本科学知识的人，也会对核电站的安全深信不疑。 话因人异、区别对待，还应了解听话者的心理需要。 19世纪，维也纳上层社会的妇女中，时兴一种筒高、檐宽的帽子，而且在帽檐上装饰着五颜六色的羽翎。女士们一进入剧场，观众就只能看到她们戴的帽子，而看不见戏台，剧场经理在无可奈何的情况下，只好一再请求女士们脱下帽子，可谁也不予理睬。这时，经理灵机一动，根据女士们爱美、爱年轻的心理状况和志趣特点说：“年纪老一点的女士可以照顾不脱帽。” 话一出口，女士们竟纷纷脱下了帽子。因为她们面临着“美女”与“老妇”的选择，维也纳的上层妇女，当然谁也不愿意做老妇。她们戴那种筒高、檐宽的帽子，不就是为了追求美吗？ 说话得体原则是口语表达的最高原则，一个人只有说话得体，才能更好地实现交际目的，取得圆满的成功。从口语表达过程看，说话者所说的内容，一要适合身份，二要适合对象，三要适应语境。简而言之，得体就是说话得适当、妥帖、恰到好处，即适时、适情、适势、适机、适人，一切都适度、恰当。下面我们就上述三个方面的具体表现，简略分析一下说话得体的原则标准。 （1）适合身份 人在说话时总是以一定的社会角色——特殊的身份、地位出现在交际对象面前，因此，一旦进入交谈，说话者的言行举止都会被交谈对象所评判，评判的第一标准就是是否得体。作为表达者，符合得体这条原则主要是把握准自己的身份、地位和文化修养所形成的形象和客观的要求。人们之所以对身着西装革履看起来风度翩翩却满口粗话、脏话的人不屑一顾，就是认为他缺少教养，言行举止与衣着所体现的身份不相吻合。有一年，某地举行修辞学年会，会长在开场白中这样说：“先让我这个老猴来耍一耍，然后你们中猴、小猴耍。我老猴肯定耍不过你们，不过总要带个头吧。”代表们听后觉得很有意思，都笑着鼓掌。这是因为，首先，会长既是与会者中的最高权威，又年近古稀，把自己比作老猴，把其他与会者比作中猴、小猴，不仅描绘出老中青三代共聚一堂、切磋砥砺的学术气氛，而且妙趣横生；其次，在修辞学的研讨会上，会长故意用这种修辞手法表示自谦，与主体身份、客观对象和具体场合都十分协调，因而可以取得好的效果。但如果换一个中年人，即使是会长，若他说出这样的话，如“我是个中猴，先让我来耍一耍，耍后请老猴和小猴耍”，就不得体了。因为听的人必定产生反感：把德高望重的老先生称作老猴是一种大不敬，按他的身份是不能这样打比方的。所以，在进行口语表达即开口说话之前，一定要把握好自己的社会角色，想一想“说哪些话”和“哪些话能说”的问题，从而形成良好的语言形象。 （2）适合对象 1927年，秋收起义失败后，毛泽东在浏阳文家市里仁学校的操场上，对当时被打散后又重新集结的起义队伍作了一次生动的演讲：“我们工农武装力量现在很小，就好比一块小石头，蒋介石反动派现在力量很大，就好比一口大水缸。只要我们咬咬牙，挺过这一关，我们这块小石头就总有一天会打烂蒋介石那口大水缸！”毛泽东用“小石头”终究会打烂“大水缸”的比喻，深入浅出地说明了革命必胜的道理，战士们很容易理解和接受。这种说法非常切合出身工农的起义战士的特点，因为他们的文化水平不高。如果换成“我们工农武装代表社会发展的进步力量”，“蒋介石反动派是阻碍社会发展的反动力量”，“反动力量终究会被进步力量所战胜”等抽象术语来演讲，这些工农战士就不那么容易理解和接受。切合听众的特点，在一般的情况下，主要是切合听众对象的文化水平。不同的文化程度制约了人们对语义的理解，也制约了人们对言语组织形式的理解。如果不能切合听众的文化水平，就会出现说话人自命高雅，听者不知所云的情形。如某幼儿园大班的一小朋友，见妈妈留客人吃饭，便也拖着客人的衣角不让走。客人问小朋友有什么好“招待”的，小朋友只是瞪着眼望着，客人忙改口说：“你有什么好吃的？”小朋友这才“巧克力、旺旺饼、口香糖……”一口气数开了。这里用“好吃的”取代“招待”，正是适合了小朋友的知识水平和理解能力。 此外，还应注意说话对象的性格特点、心理特征与对象特定的人际关系等。 （3）适应语境 说话适应特定的言语交际环境，是指所选择的语言材料、言语内容、表达手段和话语结构安排要切合特定的社会文化背景和自然环境，切合特定的时间、地点、场合和语言环境等语境要素。 1993年底，香港宝莲禅寺天坛大佛举行开光大典。新华社香港分社社长周南、港督彭定康均应邀做主礼嘉宾。仪式结束后，彭定康答记者问指责我港澳办关于香港问题的声明“并不是一份有特别吸引力的圣诞礼物”。记者以此请周南发表意见，周南以“佛教的日子”为由不予评论。因为在宗教圣地，参加宗教仪式，双方展开外交争论是不合时宜的。无奈记者追问再三，周南顺口答道：“谁搞'三违背'，定会苦海无边，罪过！罪过！谁搞'三符合'，自是功德无量，善哉！善哉！”末了一句“阿弥陀佛”，引来在场者阵阵掌声和笑声。 周南选用佛家语汇作答，应情、应景、应时、应物、应人，又表明了自己的原则立场，十分耐人寻味。