Chapter 54 9. Sex communication makes marriage more harmonious

Introduction: The harmony of sexual life is one of the most effective ways to consolidate and strengthen the relationship between husband and wife. For couples hoping to find happiness in their marriage, going without sex can be scary and dangerous.Because the harmony of sexual life is one of the most effective ways to consolidate and strengthen the relationship between husband and wife. Dr. Paul Babino of the Center for Family Relationship Research in Los Angeles, USA, conducted research on the marital status of thousands of couples and found that the quality of sex life of ordinary American adults is not optimistic, while the relevant British test data show that there is a problem of frigidity. Afflicting millions of British couples every day.It is said that the husbands of 40% of women in the world have been sexually frigid, and these women endure psychological and physical suffering, which directly leads to the disharmony of their married life.

It can be seen that disharmony in sexual life has become a major global problem.The famous psychologist John Watson once said: "Sex life should be the most important thing in marriage life, and disharmony in sex life is considered to be the most direct and important cause of marriage failure." Naturally, People can't help asking, what is the reason that makes human beings lose the joy they should have enjoyed? Sex clinicians have conducted in-depth and meticulous research on this.They found that 99% of sexual inconsistencies are not due to biological factors, but because the vast majority of couples have reached a consensus like the following: There is no need to talk about sex with each other, because everyone understands; the other party knows how to satisfy yourself; in order not to embarrass the other party, agree with any opinion of the other party, etc.

Based on the above reasons, although the meaning of sex life is extremely important, when couples get together, they are often more willing to talk about how to decorate the living room and what kind of paint should be painted in the kitchen, but keep silent on this topic.When they want to have sex, they often don't fully and directly express their thoughts, emotions, and needs. The following story may happen around you, read it carefully, and you will find the problem. At 8 o'clock in the evening, the wife yawned and walked to the head of the bed, saying to her husband, "Sleep, honey!" The husband, who was watching the live broadcast of the football game on TV, looked back at her and then at the clock. Then he said to his wife puzzled: "Go to bed so early?" The wife replied: "Yes, I feel a little tired, aren't you tired?" The husband replied: "I will go to bed after watching the game, you go to sleep first." !"

I don't know if you think this story is too common, or if you think this story seems familiar.Indeed, although the role, time and place may have changed, and even the expression has been changed, it is what you have experienced: your spouse is sending you a tactful sexual invitation, and sometimes, you will I find her behavior a bit incomprehensible.This is the problem caused by the poor sexual communication between husband and wife, and it is likely to become a hidden danger to the safety of married life. where is the problem?When you ask your wife for a different position, you always have to fight hard to get her to agree to it, or she just says no.So you complain that your wife doesn't love you at all.But have you told her exactly what you think?Did you tell her it was for the happiness of both of you, or did you just understate your thoughts?

Yes, as sexology experts tell people, sexual disharmony is basically due to communication problems.In order to solve this problem, I suggest you to follow some of the following methods. I have also emphasized the importance of a positive attitude before, which is indeed very important.Establish a correct concept of sex and don't lose interest in it.Discuss your sex life like you discuss most everyday things, and pursue a higher level of happiness with a positive mindset.Never feel that your sex life is boring, it's just because you didn't try hard. Don't let work make you tired, leave enough time for yourself to enjoy the fun of sex life: don't let all the daily chores affect your interest, put your great enthusiasm into sex life; don't be perfunctory, Take every sexual encounter seriously.If a problem arises, don't just let it be. Be proactive about finding a solution. Don't use "the honeymoon period is over" as an excuse to refuse to take action.

When you have doubts in your mind, in order to avoid misunderstandings, you must use the right time to fully understand your partner's thoughts, feelings and needs. For example, when your wife refuses to have sex with you, you need to figure out why she refuses you. "After you tossed about a lot, you fell asleep and left me lying there with my eyes open." "Since you have done everything hastily every time, why do you have to have sex so often?" She would use such reasons Tell you.There may be some fear in your partner's rejection of you.You need to understand these fears and find ways to eliminate them.You may feel that this is a little troublesome, but in the long run, it is obviously "sharpening the knife and not mistakenly chopping wood" and it is worth it.

What you need to recognize is that when you want to know what your partner thinks, the other person will feel valued.When you can meet the requirements of the other party, the other party will be willing or even take the initiative to consider your needs.Only by understanding the other person's preferences can it be possible to connect your own preferences with the other person's and achieve a state of perfection. Actively listen to what the other person has to say.Don't let the other person think that you are just being perfunctory. Use a series of actions or words to show that you really value what the other person has to say.The purpose of doing this is for the harmony and happiness of your happy life. Please believe me, this approach is very necessary.

Thank your partner with words or actions when they bring you joy.Don't be shy about expressing your gratitude, there's nothing gross about it. Gratitude makes your partner feel important and fulfills their sense of honor.Tell your husband "You're so strong" or your wife "You're so soft" and she'll be more willing to have sex with you. When your partner is worried that he or she cannot cooperate well with you, or is afraid to try new movements, you should encourage the other party and tell the other party that he (she) will succeed, and you are full of confidence in him (her).

Just say what you think, don't keep it in your heart, this will not only make you very uncomfortable, but also very uncomfortable for the other party.It's not something to be shy about speaking your mind and request.Only by expressing your true thoughts can the other party meet your requirements. When speaking, try to use the sentence pattern of "I...", which will make the other party feel that you are responsible for your own thoughts and requirements, and will make your partner feel very safe. Express your point of view with very clear words and try to make it as specific as possible.Instead of saying, "I wish you were gentler with me," say, "I love it when you put your arms around me when I get off work."Express yourself as sincerely as possible, and try not to make impossible demands.

To keep your married life happy, you need to learn more about biology and be a more competent sexual partner.You will be greatly helped by the scientific and correct use of physiological knowledge, which will serve as a guide for your actions. Escaping the problem, does not solve the problem: (1) A harmonious sex life is the foundation of a successful marriage, and only through proper communication with your sex partner can you win a harmonious sex life. (2) Most of the reasons for the failure of sexual life are not physiological problems, so don't make excuses for yourself. (3) Focus on solving the problems in your sex life.