Chapter 47 2. How to maintain the perfect happiness of marriage as a lady

Introduction: To learn to adapt to a man's mood, this is the best way for a woman to win a man's favor. Marriage is daunting for most men, but the great British statesman Disraeli said: "I may make many mistakes in my life, but I will always intend to marry for love." He really didn't get married until he was 35.Later, he proposed to a wealthy, gray-haired widow 15 years his senior.Maybe we will all ask, is there love between them?She knew he didn't love her, knew he married her for her money!So she asks only one thing: to ask him to wait a year and give her a chance to study his character.A year was approaching, and she married him.

The story sounds funny and contradictory enough. Disraeli's marriage was one of the liveliest marriages in the history of all broken and stained marriages.The rich widow he chooses is neither young nor beautiful nor intelligent.When she speaks, there are often literal or historical mistakes, which make people laugh.She never knew, for example, which came first, the Greeks or the Romans, she had a queer interest in dress, she had a queer interest in the decoration of houses.But she was a genius, a veritable genius, in the most important thing in marriage—the art of dealing with men. She didn't use her intellect against Disraeli.When he came home exhausted from talking all afternoon with witty duchesses, her light chatter kept Disraeli entertained.Home became the place where he found peace of mind and basked in her loving tenderness.This time was the time Disraeli spent at home with the elderly lady, and it was also the happiest time of his life.

She was his partner, his confidant, his advisor.Every evening he hurried back from the House of Representatives to tell her the day's news.And this was important—no matter what he set out to do, she couldn't believe he'd fail. For thirty years she had lived for Disraeli, respecting her property because it made his life easier.She was his heroine in turn, and he did not become an earl until after her death; but while Disraeli was still a commoner, Disraeli persuaded Queen Victoria to elevate her to peerage.So, in 1868, she was made Dame Biekenfeldt. Whatever consciousness or thoughtlessness she displayed in public, Disraeli never criticized her, never uttered a word of reproach to her;The older lady wasn't perfect, but in 30 years, she never got tired of talking about her husband, praising him.The results of it?

"We've been married for 30 years," Disraeli said, "and she never tires of me." "Thank you for his kindness," she routinely told him and her friends. "My life has been one long happy drama." There was a joke between them. "You know," Disraeli would say, "I'm only marrying you for your money anyway." The wife smiled and replied, "Yes, but if you choose again, you're going to marry me for love, aren't you?" And he admitted that was right. Half of the people in this world are men, so how to get along with men has become a problem that every woman must face.Since there are differences between men and women, and we have to accept this fact, as a woman, it shouldn't be a bad thing to think more about how to get along with men.

What does a man want a woman to do for him?Comfort of course!At the end of World War II, men who continued to serve in the military were given a survey in which one question asked, "What do you want married life to do for you?" Almost all of them gave the same answer. The answer - neither heart-shattering femininity, nor stimulation, nor excitement, but comfort in the ordinary sense! This answer may disappoint those ladies who blindly believe in cosmetics and perfume advertisements.But since men just need comfort, why not give it to them?Some ladies who have participated in a certain course, based on their experience with men, after discussion, summed up the following effective rules, which can be used as effective rules for women how to get along with men.

Any woman who wants to be happy with a man, whether it's her husband, her boss, a plumber, or her 3-month-old son, should pay more attention to her temperament than to herself , because men would rather eat canned green beans in a pleasant atmosphere than eat steak in front of a sad-faced nagging woman.Taurus Dix, an expert on family issues, once said: "The first requirement for a man to choose a woman is that a woman have a good temperament." I once employed a female clerk who was a shorthand typewriter, and she was not qualified on the basis of professional skills alone-her spelling was poor, and she typed slowly and often made mistakes.But she was able to keep her job, even into marriage and retirement, thanks to her happy angelic disposition.

She is not afraid of other people's complaints, complaints and criticisms, just like the sunshine in the office is as warm as the sun.As long as she's around, even if she's not doing anything, you feel like paying her a salary.I don't know if she's a better cook than a shorthand typewriter, but I've often seen her with her husband; I don't care if she can cook good meals. U.S. Open champion Jack Flick wrote for New York's Telegraph World about how he overcame odds to win two municipal golf course franchises in Wadavenport, Io. At the time, it was a daunting task for Jack to keep the franchise without letting up on game training.As luck would have it, he married Lee Burnstead of Chicago, who brought him good luck.Li became Jack's career helper, which allowed him to concentrate on practicing his skills.

Later, in 1952, the Jack family began to travel across the country.Li is responsible for caring for her 13-month-old son, Kreiro, while Jack is on the Open Tour.Jack said: "I never let Lie and I enter the game. You haven't seen the postman take his wife to deliver the mail?" Although the wife was not actively involved in Jack Frick's beloved ball game, she always stayed. He is near, so that he has no worries.A woman like Li is a real good partner for a man. A considerate woman is a man's strong spiritual backing, a man's effective assistant, and a driving force to ensure his success.

Florence Maynard lives in a small town in upstate New York, she is an ordinary housewife.In the past 16 years of marriage, she only did some housework, so she always felt that something was missing in her life.Later, she finally knew that it was the affection of her partner.However, there are so few common interests and hobbies for the Maynards, and Mrs. Maynard sets out to take action to change that. “One of my husband’s main passions is professional hockey,” said Mrs. Maynard, “so I started by developing my own interest. Once I became proficient in hockey, I learned a lot about the game. My husband and I watched hockey with the same passion and kept track of when they were televised. Since then, not only have I fallen in love with this fascinating sport, but I have also discovered that I have Things to do. What I get out of this is not only the joy of enjoying the sport with my husband, but also a fulfilling life-I will never sit at home alone with nothing to do... Now that I have found some new interests besides hockey, I can share more fun with my husband again."

Almost all men think that women talk too much, and what they mean by this is that women take away their opportunity to talk.Many women make the mistake of thinking that to listen to a man is to sit in silence and listen patiently to what he has to say.In fact, you should also show a positive attitude when listening to people. If you are a good listener, you will join the conversation at the right moment. How to be good at listening?Keep these points in mind: (1) To listen to other people's conversations, you must first concentrate; your eyes should not drift, or look tense or fidgety.If you can really focus your mind, you may still learn a lot.

(2) When listening to other people's conversation, the expression should be as relaxed as possible, and the expression should change according to what the other person said.A deadpan audience is the most disappointing thing for a speaker.For a stage director, the most difficult job is to train actors how to play the image of listening to other actors.If you want to be a satisfying listener, work on training yourself. (3) Successful listening also requires concentration and active cooperation.It was once joked that if a girl wants to win a man's heart, she only needs to look at him intently when he introduces a successful business of her own, and insert a sentence at the right time, "You are so good! God , you're a genius" or something like that would suffice.The clumsier she was, the more he liked her. However, this situation has changed a little bit: many girls are also successful in life, and they find it difficult to make the transition from the smart strong woman to the stupid little girl role; and the men are much smarter than before , They can tell who is the girl who really knows how to listen, and who is the girl who is deliberately flattering and flattering him.So remember, when a guy really needs a girl to listen to him, and you want to win his heart and influence him, stop playing the old "pretend to listen" trick.At this time, the best way to communicate is to ask him a question from time to time to show that you are listening to him and want to know more details; sometimes, you can occasionally put forward your different opinions.If you support his statement and are quite experienced in a certain area, you may wish to raise it between his stops, but be careful to be concise, and then give him the right to lead the conversation. Listening like this is not a monotonous monologue, but an active two-way communication.However, most people are not ideal listeners because they don't understand the rules of communication.But these can be improved with practice.Once a woman masters the art of listening, she will get along more happily with men, and get along better with other people, and this will also promote women's maturity-this is one of the ways to achieve maturity. We often see similar scenarios happen in families. "Let's have Jimmy and Mabel over tonight, we haven't seen Jimmy for a long time," said the husband of the head of the family. "Okay," the wife replied, "but it would be best to have Helen and Tom too, because we've been to their house twice recently." Then she would add, "Oh, my God. —Helen's sister lives with her, and we've got to find another male guest to keep her company. You go to the deli and get some more beer and cheese crackers. I'll do the phone calls, then make up and change, and tidy up the room. You better vacuum the carpet while I change." In the end, the husband wished he hadn't spoken.Originally, he just wanted to chat quietly with one or two friends, but he unexpectedly attracted a room full of guests.Don't think this is a funny thing, on the contrary, this is why men hate women.They still can't understand a man's mood, can't cooperate with her husband's actions, and often want to be a planner and commander on their own. Don't know if you've noticed that women generally don't do things on a whim, unless it's to buy themselves a hat-something men don't understand anyway.He also didn't understand why a woman would spend weeks preparing to go to a play, or why, when he impromptuly suggested a weekend in the country, she would say there were no suitable clothes and wait until the next weekend. Besides, to give her a chance to inform the milkman... Yes, a man's whim can sometimes be annoying for women who like to stick to a plan. I know one very happy wife who is married to a husband who likes to take short vacations.Husbands often call their wives after seeing a travel ad and say, "Pack your bags, honey! We're leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow morning." At this time, the lady who has been used to it will quickly pack the suitcase with the swimsuit, ask the neighbor to take care of her little parrot, and then push off all the appointments and wait for the next morning to board the boat.She would also say, "It's no big deal. Any woman, with a little practice, can do it." I know that their marriage is very happy, all thanks to this friend's wife.To learn to adapt to a man's mood, this is the best way for a woman to win a man's favor.When a man suddenly has an idea, he likes to implement it immediately!If a woman cannot adapt to this impulse of a man, it will undoubtedly make them feel angry.Only girls who learn to adapt to men's emotions early can take a successful step on the road to getting along with men. A woman who does not love her husband is a failed woman: (1) Find a suitable topic for conversation.Try to find topics that the other person is interested in, not topics that you like to discuss. (2) Many wives are constantly digging bit by bit, making their own marriage graves. (3) Being in love and feeling loved is far more important to many women than sexual intercourse.