Chapter 46 Chapter7 The Ways of Family Happiness

Introduction: Appropriately being courteous to a wife does not cause any damage to his public image, but rather enhances the relationship between husband and wife. Montgomery is a famous military strategist in British history.At the age of 38, he was still a bachelor.It was not until 1926 that his life changed when he met Mrs Caffire. No one thought that this famous general would fall in love with a soldier's widow, but of course Montgomery didn't care about this, all he cared about was his love for Mrs. Caffire.A year later, they held their wedding ceremony in a church in Chichik parish, officially starting their happy married life.

Montgomery is not as bad-tempered as the general soldiers. Throughout his married life, he has almost no rude and uneducated words and deeds. On the contrary, he has always been polite to his wife and seems to have endless sweet words. .When Betty Caffell did a housework, he always said "thank you" to his wife; he always praised his wife for being beautiful, and on ordinary days, he always said something to his wife Words to make her happy.He did everything possible to make his wife happy and satisfied, and he was satisfied accordingly. In the spring of 1937—by this time, their marriage had lasted 10 years—while Betty was walking by the sea, she was unfortunately bitten by a poisonous insect and was taken to the local country hospital with a toxic attack.Montgomery rushed to the hospital and guarded Betty.Finally, Betty passed away peacefully in Montgomery's arms.In the minutes before she died, Montgomery was still reading the Bible and hymns to her, but he could no longer wake his wife.

It should be said that Betty is happy—I mean not only that Montgomery did not remarry after her death, she was his only lover in this life—what I want to say is that most women in this world seem to be inferior to her So lucky, their married life does not seem to be so happy and romantic. If they hadn't taken the initiative themselves, they would have seen a family that had always been cold when they returned home.Before getting married, my husband was an eloquent and eloquent person, but after getting married, he seemed to be a different person. He seemed to have lost interest in everything in the family, including himself.It seemed to these poor women that a husband could not stop sweet-talking himself like Montgomery.

Francis Bacon said: "Once a man marries a wife and has children, it means that he loses his fortune and opportunities." This is the point of view of this giant when facing marriage.He disapproves of men getting married and having children, and bearing the burden of the family, and thinks it is a "very stupid" behavior for them to bear the risk that the god of fate will take away the lives of their families at any time. Obviously, Bacon expressed his pessimistic attitude towards married people, but it also implied a truth from the opposite side, that is, it takes courage for a man to get married.It used to be that single men were more courageous and unscrupulous, while those who were married were more cautious and rigid, but now it seems that this concept needs to be revised.

In fact, single men are more rigid than married men, as can be seen from their reluctance to venture to the marriage registry lest they spoil their prim plans.They are cautious and cautious, with unpredictable temperaments, just like unmarried women describe to you; they dare not jump into the ocean of marriage, just walk on the beach, occasionally test the sea with their feet, and once they encounter a big swell When they come, they will immediately flee to a place of safety. As for the married man, he possesses guts, courage, and the disposition of a gambler.Those who went bankrupt at Monte Carlo were nothing compared to this gambler's temperament, for he had staked his life, his future, his money, etc., on one woman and promised to let her Women are always happy.His opponent is the God of Destiny. He mortgaged everything to the God of Destiny, and then made faces at the God of Destiny.

We do not want to criticize these married men here, but to offer them some small suggestions to increase the happiness of their married life and pay tribute to these adventurous men.Dr. Leonard S. Currier, dean of the College of Arts and Sciences at Cornell University, has a blueprint for a good marriage design: "Happy marriages only belong to those who are spiritually mature, understand themselves, and are good at establishing good relationships with others. A responsible person who thinks about the happiness of others.” Dr. Currier proposed the secret recipe for maintaining a perfect and happy marriage. He said: "A family is united through intrinsic values, such as the satisfaction of love and companionship, which cannot be forced." Here , what he calls intrinsic value, can be developed, cared for and strengthened through a number of means.Those men who are in marriage should learn what I say below, how to get along with your significant other.

If you always praise her and how virtuous she is, then she will be loyal to you, whether you are unemployed, or getting old and fat, she will insist on staying by your side, even if you wear it all year round Old coats won't have any complaints either.If you must save money to maintain your life, don't hesitate to give your wife "honey on the mouth".But it is a pity that among those smart men, there are not a few who do not understand this characteristic of women. Although men usually think that being able to marry their own wives is their lifetime blessing.But men don't let women know this, you know, wives never get tired of their husbands praising them.Men and women, unlike women, can easily learn how they stand in all respects.For example, if he makes a mistake at work, his boss will remind him; if he makes a big deal, he will get a salary increase or bonus, or at least the boss will reward him in public.But what about the wife who stays at home all day?They have no idea how they are doing if their husbands don't tell her.Therefore, her husband's praise is the best reward for her.

Take a good look at the happy husbands you know, and those husbands who enjoy life to the fullest while their wives do the housework, and who are happy because they know how to win a woman's heart —The surest and surest way to make women willing to serve them forever is to give them sincere compliments unsparingly and often. Rob N. Prall is a friend of mine, a columnist for the New York World-Telegraph and the author of The Great Bribe, a heroic expose of urban corruption.The most enviable thing about Rob is that he has an ideal wife that almost all men want; and his wife Jenny also thinks that he is the greatest man in the world, and she praises her husband every time.

Rob has plenty of ways to keep his wife feeling good.For example, when the publisher gave Rob a special gift book with a handcrafted cover, Rob would inscribe the message on the book on the spot: "To Jenny - my dear wife and my life." It's easier to get a woman's heart to glow than to sign a check because it's a sincere and heartfelt compliment for her successful housekeeping. At this point, I think many men have entered into a wrong thinking. They mistakenly believe that generosity means that when a woman needs it, she should pay her bills without thinking about it, and often give her some pocket money.But now I'm going to tell you that money and generosity that women value is nothing more than affiliation, and they care more when you say to her, "Okay honey, pick your mom up and have a good time with us Go ahead." This display of generosity may work better for them.

You might ask, "Is this any different?" Yes, of course it is.Women hope that their husbands will be more caring and considerate to themselves in public places, just like he should show care and respect to a strange beautiful woman, instead of sending away beggars with money. You know how to tell in a restaurant if a man and a woman at a table are married without asking?You can test it in this way: two people sit together silently, the man just looks at the veal steak on his plate and the waiter intently, while the woman flips the food on the plate boredly, this pair seems to be very happy at first glance. They seem to be strangers to each other, but in fact they must be a married couple; on the contrary, the man carefully pulls out the chair for the lady and asks her to sit down, as if she is made of glass, and the topic is selected in advance, then this A man is either courting the woman or dining with a female client.

Once, I was at a dinner party welcoming some famous person, and the famous person was very warm to almost everyone - except his wife, because he didn't even look at her, as if she didn't exist .This is the reality of most marriages. In fact, showing courtesy to his wife properly will not cause any damage to his public image, but will promote the relationship between husband and wife.They later divorced, which of course came as no surprise to anyone, since most people probably followed suit or endured it. Since you are with her because you love her, why not show her your generosity and thoughtfulness, your kindness and kindness?Now, right now, start with your own family. I think many men will have such a realization: only women should maintain attractive demeanor and proper appearance.Because it's usually only women who get these kind of warnings all the time: don't wear cold cream, don't go to bed with full curls, and don't have body odor, rough fingers, extra weight, and slouching.The reason why women care so much about being young and slim is because they are afraid that if they lose their youth, they will lose their husbands. So, how about we look at those men?Maybe he's a fashion model, but at home he looks like an uncleaned bed.On weekends, he would be content to wear a shirt and bury his head in the newspaper, walk around in stinky slippers, never take a shower or shave, and think he's pretty and it's his wife's job to marry him Blessed. Look at it from the wife's point of view: she doesn't care if her husband wears dungarees or a smart suit, and she loves him no matter what.However, even when her husband is idle at home, she would like to see him take a shower, shave his beard, and wear clothes that are in harmony with home life.Although appearance does not determine a man's status, it can change the image of a man in the eyes of women. You think everything I say is wishful thinking?So here's a list of questions that men trying to impress girls (including their wives) should be aware of: (1) Be sure to keep your appearance neat and tidy, and know that soaps and deodorants are not specially produced for women. (2) Don't keep your beard unshaven in broad daylight, unless you go fishing with your kids by the lake. (3) Get a haircut in time without delay. (4) Keep your trousers straight, only a dejected man will tolerate his trousers being wrinkled. (5) Always keep your leather shoes shiny, wear your socks straight, and keep a smile on your face. Many women have personal experience in earning money and arranging their lives. With more and more professional women, they also have a certain understanding of the pressure and requirements of work before or after marriage.Men, therefore, should know a little more about the world of the housewife who was used to moving between the kitchen, the wet market and the laundromat. He must be considerate of his wife, who is more constrained by circumstances than he is, that she has no easier life than he, and that she has to attend to the daily needs of the family.As a husband, you should at least understand how boring it is to do those routine housework every day.In addition, wives have to take care of children, especially if someone in the family is sick; sometimes, they also arrange entertainment for the whole family.They are often overworked all year round, and the greatest motivation and reward is nothing but the happiness and praise of their family members. Therefore, as a husband, you should know that your wife needs more contact with the outside world to increase her stimulation and eliminate the boredom caused by boring work.Husbands should also often take their wives out to communicate with other housewives.A man has the opportunity to participate in various social activities due to his work relationship, so he hopes to obtain peace through leisure.At this time, the husband is required to coordinate his own needs with the stimulating social activities his wife needs, and handle the two in a relatively balanced manner.To do this well depends entirely on how he arranges it reasonably. When we are in trouble, it is a hundred times better to have a husband we can rely on wholeheartedly than the hero of a romance novel to save the beauty. A friend of mine once told me about a little crisis she had when her dearest aunt came to her home for the first time.No sooner had my friend's aunt arrived at her house than her child fell ill with bronchitis and lay in bed, ruining all plans for entertaining guests. "If it wasn't for Tom," she told me, "I really don't know what I would do. He takes my Aunt Grace out for a walk every night and makes her feel good. On the weekends, they go out together. Looking at the scenery. My aunt had a good time, which relieved my psychological pressure. Although Tom has some shortcomings, if it comes to an emergency, because he is by my side, I feel that I have something to rely on." This is definitely the voice of most wives.All the wives hope that their husbands can stand up when they encounter a major crisis, and they should support and help themselves even in small daily matters.How can we as husbands nurture and support her?For example, a wife needs the support and encouragement of her husband when she participates in parent-teacher associations and women's club activities; in social situations, a wife wants her husband to be her pride; she wants to see him having a good time, not making a fool of himself.She needs to know that no matter what emergency arises, no matter what happens, he will always be there for her to give her a sense of inner security. The success of a marriage depends on the "sharing" and "cooperation" of both husband and wife.When two people are dealing with family issues, they must try to transform "you" and "me" into "we". Men may think that it would be demeaning for them to participate in things like buying gifts, doing housework, and so on.However, if he wants to keep his family warm and harmonious, he should first put aside stock market analysis and try to help his wife with some housework.Since he wants his wife to be happy about his promotion to sales manager, why can't he pay attention to some of the chores his wife said today, and be interested in a great deal she picked up at the flea market? Many problems in family life are trivial things, but we don't pay attention to them because they are too small; it is also because of these small things that led to the breakdown of our marriage.The reason is that we don't know how to share with each other, for example, where we go on vacation, whether we have to replace our chair covers and TV sets, and so on.Once the husband and wife understand each other's role in life, all problems can be solved easily. André Moross, a world-savvy writer, advises men on how to relate to women: "Take an interest in what women think is important, such as what they wear, what they do for the family, Their in-depth and meticulous analysis of feelings and characters... When he is free, he might as well accompany his wife to go shopping and do some shopping... Advise her on certain things... Show interest in the little things in life, talk to him more She communicates. If she likes music, art, or reading, try to understand her hobbies. I believe it won't be long before you will be surprised to find that you are also interested in her hobbies." Author Vicki Baum once said: "A woman who is loved is more likely to be successful." A husband must promise to love his wife. It is not as simple as putting a wedding ring on her finger, and it must be done as long as she Happy, he should put the wedding ring on her finger every day. "A man likes to feel he is loved," Metoud wrote, "but a woman likes a man to say he loves her." We may be familiar with each other, so we will not say "I love you" easily.In fact, for many men, these three words are indeed embarrassing.In fact, you can relax, even if you don't have to be as attentive as European men, you can still impress your wife.As women, they always have their own unique perception. They can feel your love through countless silent cues. For example, you can find her in a room full of people; Small hands; unexpected hugs; tenderness, and so on. From a woman's point of view, what they don't understand is why a man pursues her so passionately before marriage, but refuses to show his love to her after marriage. A young man in Toronto, Ontario, named Jack F. Tammon, admitted in his letter that he had made such a mistake: "My wife is the ideal and perfect woman I have carefully selected. After we got married, I I was so busy with work that my wife took care of everything in our lives. However, this model of life obviously didn't work. Our marriage was 5 years of misfortune and failure. Finally one day, my wife and I had a fight and I was 4 My son asked me 'Dad, don't you like Mommy'. I believed she was a good mom. I suddenly realized that I was a complete idiot. I really loved my child's mother with all my heart. I loved her This person, and I love everything she has done for me. It is because of her meticulous care that our son grows up so healthy and lovely, but I have never taken on the responsibility of being a father and husband.” "I deserved to be punished, but I decided to do what I could to make up for it. I went to my wife and asked her to help me become a better husband and father. Thank God, she made it. Now we have a real life again. A married life in the sense that this life is based on mutual respect and love. She bore me another daughter and our happiness is worth a thousand dollars. Now, my children never ask me why I don’t like them mother!" Loving a woman is not only enough to have passionate feelings, it should also cover many contents, such as understanding, attentiveness, sensitivity and respect.But those men who don't know how to manage love always like to find excuses, saying that "no one can really understand women".They stubbornly believe that men use direct current, while women use alternating current, and there is no possibility of communication between the two parties, so they can save a lot of trouble trying.I just want to tell these gentlemen here: women are not from outer space, nor do they work on another wavelength, they are not monsters, they are different genders, but they are still human.Women are not a mystery, many men have learned about women, and they have done so after they are married. But if you really want to get to know your wife, it's best to start by loving her and letting her know that you love her.Otherwise, marriage will not be good for both of you. A peasant woman's exaggerated expression of her outrage at this silence is certainly telling.Like most working women, she has to cook for her family every day besides her job.One day, when it was time for dinner, she put a large pile of grass on the dinner table.The husband was very puzzled by such behavior and asked her if she was crazy.The peasant woman replied: "I thought you didn't know what you were eating! I have been cooking for 20 years, and you never once told me that what you eat is not grass but rice." Those upper-class figures in the era of Tsarist Russia understood this truth very well.Whenever they taste delicious food, they must not forget to express their gratitude and appreciation to the chef who made these delicious food.It's a pity that the men who eat their wives' delicious meals at every meal are not as polite as these upper-class people.They all seemed to think they deserved these things, so they didn't taste the food and tell the wife that he didn't eat grass! A writer friend of mine was like that.He came to me one day and told me about his troubles at home.Like Socrates, he described his wife as a rare shrew, and said she seemed moody and too difficult to serve. "She doesn't work very hard," said my friend, "but when she comes home she often moans. She likes to be vexatious, and she often breaks out into quarrels for no reason. I didn't quarrel with her, but There is never peace at home." True, the writer was quiet and reticent, and he was better at writing than talking.I suggested to him: "You try to talk to her more, maybe all she does is want you to say a few more words." A week later, this friend came to see me again, and he happily said to me: "That's true. Now I often praise her and ask her well. Her temper is still very good." In many cases, what a man ignores is often what a woman values, such as a greeting, a word of concern, or a word of love—this is an insignificant thing, but it can often make a woman happy.That being the case, why use silence to torture women? The great French novelist Balzac once wrote: "Most married men remind me of those 'gorillas who want to play the violin'." If we regard marriage as something that both men and women need to know, then we will Knowing about marriage, married men should stop looking like gorillas and look like Ferris Kreisler, the famous violinist. The "home" has been the basic unit of human beings since ancient times. It not only allows people to maintain hope for the future and maintains the present reality, but also protects, nourishes and teaches human beings.Home is actually a sacred castle. Why is it that only men can shoulder the important burden of protecting the family?Although women spend more time at home than men, this does not mean that men do not need a home.Home is not just a material concept, it also includes many spiritual meanings such as warmth, sharing, laughter, tears, happiness and sadness, and it is these spiritual meanings that add rich meaning and value to home. Obviously, all this cannot be created by women alone. It is the result of the joint efforts of both men and women.Therefore, I sincerely warn men to give women a chance to think carefully about how they should play the special dual roles of "husband" and "father", and properly distribute their talents and energy in creating a successful career to their family members. "Marriage is the best litmus test of our personal maturity," writes David R. Mays, chairman of the International Marriage Steering Committee and a professor of human relations at Drew University. "Anyone can live alone if you don't want to care about others. But , if you want to live intimately with another person, you must have the ability to care for others... This is a sign of a person's maturity. Marriage has two results, or it makes us mature, or it makes us bear the burden The bitter fruit of ripeness.” A man who cannot love a woman is not a good man: (1) Marriage is not a grave. If you want, you can make marriage a paradise. The key is how you do it. (2) Take out the passion of a man in pursuing his wife before marriage, and don't get bored with life after marriage. (3) Sweet talk more, it won't hurt to do so.If you really love your wife, say it, not keep it in your heart.