Chapter 33 4. Don't Speak Evil: Control Your Tongue

Introduction: In moments of "down" that we all go through, if we can't say good things about people, we'd better not say anything at all. There's a time-tested saying, "If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing." It should be a mantra for what to say throughout the day, and it's a golden word.I will tell a story here first. A king asked his two ministers to find two things in the world: one was the best in the world, and the other was the worst in the world.The two ministers set out separately and returned to the palace at the time appointed by the king, presenting to the king what they found and thought most suitable.

The first minister opened the box and showed the best thing in the world, which contained a human tongue; the other minister also opened the box and showed the worst thing in the world, which also contained a human tongue. The human tongue can be said to be the best thing in the world, or it can be said to be the worst thing in the world.Because on different occasions, some people use one sentence to make the whole atmosphere lively, and some people use one sentence to destroy the whole atmosphere. "James" said: "It is not right for praise and cursing to come from the same mouth."

If what you say is not beneficial to others or yourself, then it is better not to say it. Instead of saying it to increase unnecessary troubles, it is better to "silence is golden".Therefore, you must think twice before speaking, and stop when you speak, and first think about whether what you want to say is good or bad. A wise person will always control his tongue to prevent himself from saying something wrong and spreading rumors around. A man ran to a philosopher in a hurry and said, "I have some news for you..." "Wait a moment," interrupted the philosopher, "has the news you are about to tell me passed through three sieves?"

"Three sieves? Which three sieves?" the man asked puzzled. "The first of these three sieves is called truth. Is the news you want to tell me true?" "I don't know, I heard it from the street..." "Now you use the second sieve. If the news you want to tell me is not true, it should at least be kind." The man hesitated and said, "No, on the contrary..." The philosopher interrupted him again: "Then you use a third sieve. I want to ask you, is the news that excites you so important?" "Not important." The man replied shyly.

"Since what you are going to tell me is neither true, nor kind, nor important, then do not say it! Then the news will not bother you and me," said the philosopher. Some people just like this. They usually cannot be upright, honest and kind, but they like to gossip, gossip, and chatter about trivial matters all day long.This is a kind of trouble for both the speaker and the listener, and it is of no benefit.This kind of person must be a mediocre person if he is not a villain.Therefore, those who can speak should carefully consider whether what you say is beneficial to the progress of the matter before speaking, or whether it can achieve the purpose and effect you want.

After David's parents divorced, he was sentenced to his mother, who raised and cared for him.Due to financial constraints, the mother and son had to move to another city.David then also went to a new school to take classes and began to make new friends.The changes broke his heart. He began to resent children whose parents hadn't divorced, and often got into fights for petty or no-reason reasons.In this miserable life he had developed the habit of being unduly exacting.He hardly had a good word for anyone. One day, a classmate who knew David's situation very well walked up to him. "My parents are getting divorced too," he said softly. "I know you're hurting. But you've got to let go of your anger and pain. You're only hurting yourself when you get in trouble with other people. If you can't say something If you have something nice to say, you'd better not say anything."

David did initially have a hard time taking this classmate's advice because of his pain, but now that things seemed to be getting worse, he became more cautious about what he said.He often swallowed back words that were about to be blurted out. In the past, his hurtful and sarcastic words would have been unrestrained. He began to realize how little he cared about his classmates before.As his understanding expanded, he began to understand that he was not alone in experiencing family upheavals like his, but that many other children had also experienced embarrassing family breakdowns.David began to think of ways to encourage them and help them deal with their pain and confusion.By the end of the term, David had undergone a radical U-turn and gained the affections of fellow students who had alienated him because of his inability to control his temper.

Anyone at home, school, or work has probably experienced emotionally stressful situations.We are often tempted to blame others when things don't go our way, and we may think that finding fault with others will make us feel better about our situation.But it may also be thinking like this: "I'm having a hard time, so don't think about it either." Destructive language often produces destructive results.In moments of “down” that we all go through, if we can’t say good things about people, we might as well not say anything at all.Know that in addition to causing unnecessary pain to those around us, the negative words that come out of our mouths often only compound the problem.

We don't have any reason to say crude and hurtful things, even when we're faced with overwhelming challenges in life.As mentioned earlier, the child whose parents are divorced is tormented by many feelings and emotions that he cannot understand and cannot resolve.But he finally discovered that belittling and hurting others is not the answer.By speaking kindly and understandingly, or simply by listening to others with sympathy, he finally learns to help others; in turn, he is helped by those around him, and he finally finds in himself the courage to live. We have to learn to control our tongues, but the real way to control our tongues is to release our inner thoughts. In all aspects of life, if people carry heavy thoughts.This can have a fatal effect on themselves and others, because these thought problems emphasize the negative rather than the positive.Therefore, it is important for us to understand that creative thinking arises from a constant search for answers.

When you feel out of control, remember to: (1) Sooner or later the unpleasant moments will pass, and if our tongues do not cause trouble, they will leave no wounds to heal. (2) Demeaning and hurting others with destructive language is not the answer. (3) Don't let impulsive emotions help you solve the problem, it will only make the problem worse, and eventually even you will lose your goal.