Chapter 31 2. Treat people with a smile: dissolve the ice in the interpersonal world

Introduction: No matter what you have, who you are, where you are or what you are doing, the key to your happiness depends on how you think. Be a person who smiles sincerely. Smiling will make people feel that you are very friendly, and he will understand your heart: "I like you, you make me happy, and I am very happy to see you." It will be easier to succeed in education, education and marketing, and it will be easier to cultivate a happy next generation.If you want to be a popular talker, remember that when you see people, you also have to be happy. Recently I was at a dinner party in New York where one of the guests, who had a large inheritance, was so eager to impress everyone that she spent a lot of money on expensive mink furs, diamonds, pearl necklace.However, she doesn't know how to dress her own face, which is full of vitriol and selfishness.

She doesn't understand what men think in their hearts, that is, the look on a woman's face is more important than the clothes she wears.By the way, if your wife wants to buy a mink coat next time, you better not forget to tell her this sentence. Mr. Schkova once told me that his smile was worth a million dollars.He was probably suggesting to me the truth of the smile, because Schkovar's charisma, and his ability to please people, were almost the entire reason for his characteristic success.And one of the most lovable elements of his personality is his charming smile that can impress anyone.

One afternoon I stayed with Maurice Chevrolet.He was the founder of the later famous Chevrolet Motor Company.But to be honest, I didn't get much out because he kept silent, which was totally different from what I expected.Fortunately, he finally had a smile, his smile was like the sun through the dark clouds.If it weren't for this charming smile, maybe Chevrolet would still be in Paris, just like his father and elder brother, continuing to be a carpenter. Actions speak louder than words.Be a person with a sincere smile, a smile will make people feel that you are very friendly, and he will understand your heart: "I like you, you make me happy, I am very happy to see you."

This is why dogs are so endearing.They are so happy to see us that their hearts are jumping out of their stomachs with excitement.So, of course we are also willing and happy to see them. A baby's smile has the same effect.Have you ever been in a hospital waiting room?You may notice that people around you look sullen and sleepy.Stephen Spohr, a veterinarian who lives in Layton, Missouri, once told me this. One spring, his veterinarian's waiting room was packed with people bringing their own pets to be vaccinated.No one spoke, everyone waited impatiently, maybe everyone was thinking of something to do instead of sitting there wasting time.

While everyone was waiting, a woman came in with a 9-month-old baby and a kitten.She sat next to a man who was getting impatient with the wait.Fortunately, when he looked to the side, he saw the kid watching him and smiling innocently at him. How do you guess the man's reaction?Like us, he smiled at the child, and he chatted with the mother about her child and his grandson.Soon, the atmosphere in the waiting room became lively and everyone chatted with each other, and everyone had a pleasant experience. Was the child's smile insincere?Absolutely not.A smile without sincerity cannot deceive people.We know that kind of laugh is mechanical and people just hate it.We're talking about a real smile, a warm smile, a smile that comes from the heart, the kind that is of great value in human interaction.

James McNair, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, told me what he thinks about smiling.He said: "Those with smiling faces are more likely to be successful in management, education and marketing, and easier to cultivate a happy next generation. A smile can convey emotions better than a frown, which is why education should be based on The reason why encouragement and smiles replace corporal punishment and punishment." The personnel manager of a large department store in New York told me: "I would rather pay a high price to hire a female clerk who never graduated from elementary school with a lovely smile on her face than a Ph.D. in philosophy with a cold face. "This shows how powerful a smile is.

Even if we can't see the essence of laughter, its influence is very powerful. AT&T, which has an important influence in the United States, has a column "The Power of Voice", which provides free calls to telephone users to promote products and services.In this column, the phone company advises people to smile when they are on the phone, but that smile can only be conveyed through the voice. The chairman of a large rubber company in the United States told me that according to his observation, no matter what a person does, unless he is very interested in it, it will be difficult to succeed.The industry leader doesn't quite believe the old adage that "a job is done in ten years".

"Some people I know," he says, "are successful at first because they're interested in what they're doing; but later on, I've seen them become slaves to their work. It gets so boring, they lose all the fun in their work, and they end up failing." So, if you want to be a popular talker, remember that when you see people, you also have to be happy. I have advised business students in my classes to spend a week smiling at people every hour of every day and then come back to class and talk about their experiences.In fact, what is the effect of their doing so? Here is a letter from William Steinhardt, member of the New York Stock Exchange.His case is not an isolated phenomenon.In fact, he was only one of several hundred representatives.

"I have been married for 18 years," Steinhardt wrote, "during which time I rarely smiled at my wife or said a word or two to my wife from the time I woke up until I was ready to go to work. .I'm one of the grumpiest people who hustle on Broadway." "Because you suggested that we experience smiling and asked us to give a talk about it, I wanted to try it for a week and see how it worked." "So, the next morning, while I was combing my hair, I looked at that gloomy face in the mirror and said to myself, 'Bill, you have to get rid of the sadness on your face today, and you have to smile. You have to do it now. Gotta start'. I said 'good morning, honey' to my wife as I sat down to breakfast. I said it with a smile on my face."

"You did warn me that she might be surprised. However, you underestimated the extent of her reaction. She was not only surprised, she was stunned. I told her that she would see me like this every day in the future. I have had this expression every morning since then, and it has been two months now. As a result of my change of attitude, our family has been happier in these two months than in the past two years. There's more to happiness." "Now, when I go to the office, I say 'good morning' loudly to the elevator man in the building and smile at him. I also smile at the janitor. When I change change at the subway ticket office , and greet waiters with a smile. When I stand on the floor of the exchange, I smile at people who have never seen me smile before."

“It didn’t take long for me to see that everyone was smiling back at me. I stopped being angry with the whiners and treated them with a kind face. When I listened to them complain, I kept smiling so that The problem is easy to solve. I have found that smiling has brought me great wealth, and I gain a lot of wealth every day." “I shared an office with another agent who had a secretary, who was a lovely chap. Since I was happy with the progress I had made, I told him about the relationship philosophy I had recently learned. Unexpectedly, he admitted that when he first shared the office with me, he thought I was a depressed person. It was not until recently that he changed his view of me. He said that when I smiled, he felt Very kind." "Now I start to get rid of the habit of criticizing others. I only appreciate and praise others instead of blaming them. I also no longer only consider my own needs, I now prefer to look at problems from the perspective of others. These practices really It has changed my life. Now, I’m a completely different person, a happier, more fulfilled person with friendship and joy. That’s obviously what matters.” You must not forget that this letter is written by a seasoned, wise broker who has traveled all over the world.He had been buying and selling securities on the New York Stock Exchange, and doing very well.This is a very competitive industry with a 99% failure rate, which means 99 out of every 100 people will quit. Wouldn't you like to smile?So what to do?There are two ways to help you: first, force yourself to smile; second, if you are alone, you might as well force yourself to whistle, or hum a little song, or sing, as if you are happy, then can make you happy. The late William James, a famous professor at Harvard University, once said: Actions seem to follow sensations.In fact, it proceeds simultaneously with the feeling, and this is enough to bring regularity to actions directly controlled by the will, and indirectly to a certain regularity of the emotions... Therefore, if we are unhappy, then the initiative to obtain pleasure The path is to cheer yourself up as if you've got it... Everyone in the world is seeking happiness, and one surefire way to achieve happiness is to control your thoughts and ideas.Happiness does not depend on external factors, but on your inner thoughts.So no matter what you have, who you are, where you are or what you are doing, the key to your happiness depends on how you think. For example, two people are doing the same thing in the same place, both have the same amount of money and fame, but one of them will suffer, and the other will be happy.Why is this?Because their inner thoughts are different. I saw happiness on the faces of those migrant workers who worked hard in the heat and sweat and earned only 7 cents a day, and you can also see these faces in the rich gentry walking on the road in the park. "There is nothing good or bad in the world," said Shakespeare, "thoughts make it so." Lincoln also said, "Most people are as happy as they want to be in their hearts." He was right That's right.I recently saw a vivid illustration of this truth. At that time, I was climbing the steps of the Long Island Railway Station in New York. At this time, I saw thirty or forty disabled children with crutches in front of me. They were struggling to climb the steps. One boy had to be carried up by others. But I was so amazed by their laughter and happiness that I told my personal feelings to the caretakers who lead these children. "Oh, of course," said he, "when a child knows that he is going to be handicapped for life, he always panics at first, but after the panic he often accepts his fate, and is even happier than normal children. " I really feel like I should pay tribute to those kids because they taught me such a vivid lesson that I will never forget them.If a person works alone in a closed office, not only will he feel lonely, but he will also be cut off from the rest of the company and have no chance to make friends with them.Cyrola Maria is just that. Maria uses an office by herself, and she is very envious when she hears the chatter and laughter of other colleagues.In her first week at work, when she walked into the office lobby and passed everyone, she was embarrassed to say hello to everyone, but turned her head shyly. After a few weeks, she told herself: "Maria, you can't let others greet you first, you should say hello to others first." So, from then on, when Maria came out to pour a cold drink, she always showed the most charming face. smiles and greets everyone she meets with, "Hello!" Of course, the effect of this was very obvious. Everyone smiled and cheered for her, and even the dark aisle seemed to be much brighter.Maria's working environment began to change, and her relationship with everyone became much more friendly. People would greet each other, and some even became Maria's good friends.Maria also feels that her work and life have become more enjoyable and interesting. Franklin Bettger, formerly known as Cardinal's player, is now one of the most successful underwriters in the United States.He told me: “I found out through research many years ago that people who smile are always welcome. So, whenever I walk into someone’s office, I always stop and think about the many things I should be grateful for, and bring out the sincerity from within. smile. Then, just as the smile was about to fade from my face, I entered the other person's office." "It's this simplicity that has given me exceptional success selling insurance, so smiling has had a lot to do with my success," he said. Let's peruse the following piece of sage advice from Albert Hubbard, but reading it won't help unless you put it into practice. "Every time you go out, shrink your chin, raise your head, hold your chest up and take a deep breath; bathe in the sun, greet everyone with a smile, and shake hands hard every time. Don't be afraid of being misunderstood, and don't waste time Think about your enemies. Know in your mind what you love to do, then persevere, go ahead, and focus on making it big. Over time, you will find that you have seized opportunities and achieved them without knowing it. Your own wishes. Imagine in your mind the capable, sincere, and accomplished person you want to be. This kind of imagination will affect you for a long time, remind you every moment, and transform you into the person you want This kind of man... The influence of thought is supreme. One must maintain a correct outlook on life, be courageous, honest, and cheerful. Right thoughts are creative in themselves. Everything comes from hope, and every sincere prayer will have Fulfillment. We become what our hearts desire to be. So shrink your jaw and lift your head. We are the Gods of tomorrow." You can control your smile to infect others: (1) Behavior speaks louder than words. Smiling to someone is to show him: "I like you, you make me happy, and I like to see you." (2) Happiness does not depend on external conditions, but on internal conditions. (3) Actions go hand in hand with sensations. We can regulate actions that are directly governed by the will, and we can also indirectly regulate those that are not directly governed by the will.