Chapter 29 8. Let the other person feel that it is their own idea

Introduction: Ask others for advice as much as possible, and respect their suggestions, making them feel that the idea is entirely their own. No one likes to feel like they are being forced to buy something or ordered to do something.We'd rather feel like we're buying things of our own accord, or doing things on our own terms.We like other people to care about our wishes, needs and ideas.Just imagine, do you have more faith in the ideas you discover than in other people's ideas?Even if someone else's thoughts were offered to you on a expensive and delicate plate, you would not accept it happily.

Yes, everyone has such thoughts.That being the case, wouldn't it be wishful thinking for you to force your thoughts down someone else's throat?So wouldn't it be wiser to make a suggestion and let others figure it out for themselves? Mr. Rudolf Selts from Philadelphia, a member of my class, once felt the need to cheer up a group of frustrated and disengaged car salesmen, so he called a sales meeting to encourage his men Tell them what they think and want about him.As they talked, he wrote their thoughts on the blackboard.Then he said: "I can give you all you can ask of me. Now tell me what I am entitled to from you?"

The responses were quick: loyalty, honesty, initiative, optimism, cooperation, and passionate work 8 hours a day.One even volunteered to work 14-hour days.The meeting was a great success, giving new courage and new inspiration. Mr. Selts said: "They were essentially making a moral bargain with me. When I pledged to do my best, they also decided to do their best. Talking to them about their wishes and hopes is exactly what they want. food for thought.” Eugene Wesson lost countless dollars of income before he learned this truth. Wesson sells patterns for an atelier that designs patterns for fashion designers and textile manufacturers.Wesson has visited one of the most famous fashion design experts in New York once a week for three consecutive years. "He never refused to see me," said Wesson, "but he never bought my drawings either. He always looked at my drawings carefully and said 'No. Sir, I don't think we can have yours today. '."

After 150 failures, Wesson finally understood the problem: he was stuck in the same old routine, too rigid.So he decided to spend one night a week learning the skills of dealing with people, trying to develop new ideas and create new enthusiasms. Before long, he was inspired to try a new approach.He took 6 unfinished drawings of the painters and ran to the designer's office. "I would like to ask you to do me a favor." He said, "here are some unfinished drawings, and I would like you to tell me how we should complete them to your satisfaction?" After looking at the pattern for a while, he said, "Put the pattern here with me, and come back to me in a few days."

Three days later, Wesson went to him again, listened to his many suggestions, and then took back the drawings and finished them according to the designer's opinion.The results of it?They were all bought. That happened 9 months ago, and since then until now, the buyer has ordered dozens more drawings, all painted according to his opinion--As a result, Wesson made more than 1600 dollars from him . "I now understand why I have been unable to do business with this buyer for so many years," said Mr. Wesson. "I used to persuade him to buy what I thought he should buy. Now, on the contrary, I ask him to tell me His idea, so he felt that he was creating the pattern, and it was indeed the case. Even if I don’t sell it to him now, he will take the initiative to buy it.”

This method is indeed fruitful, and the skill of persuading others lies in whether you let them accept your opinion wholeheartedly.President Roosevelt successfully carried out a reform in this way. When Theodore Roosevelt was governor of New York, he accomplished an extraordinary feat by forcefully pursuing reforms that some heads of government least liked.How did he do it? When important positions became vacant, he asked political leaders to recommend to him who could fill them. "Originally," said Roosevelt, "they might nominate a weak party stick, the kind of person who needs 'care.' I told them it was not a good idea to appoint such a man, because the public would not approve."

"Then they presented me with another party stick who did nothing, a man who, while above reproach, had nothing to commend him. I told them that this man did not live up to the public's expectations. Next I ask them to think about whether they can find someone who is clearly a better fit for the job." "The person they proposed the third time was acceptable, but still not very ideal. So I thanked them and asked them to try again. The person they proposed the fourth time was acceptable-their current proposal was correct. It was I who proposed it myself. I thanked them for their assistance and appointed this person—and I give them credit for the appointment... I told them that I did it to please them and that it was time It made me happy when it was their turn. And they did. They supported my bills like the Service Act and the Tax Exemption Act. That made me happy."

Roosevelt used this method to successfully implement this difficult-to-implement reform plan. Please remember to ask others for advice as much as possible, and respect their suggestions, so that the other party feels that the idea is entirely their own decision.That's the secret to persuasion, and it's the secret to your success. In the business world, a car dealer in Long Island has also used this method successfully, selling an old car to a Scottish couple, and I can't see why it wouldn't work that way. At the time, the dealer showed the couple one car after another, but they were always dissatisfied, saying this one didn't fit, that one was damaged, and the price was too high—they always thought it was too expensive. Taller.The situation was quite helpless, so a used car dealer, who was also a student in my class, came to ask me to help him.

I suggested that he stop selling to such "half-hearted people" and try to get them to come and buy.I told him, don't tell them what to do, but instead, let them tell you how to do it.Be sure to make them feel that they are making up their own minds. Sounds like a good idea, how did he do it?A few days later, when a customer wanted to trade in his old car for a new one, the salesman decided that he could try the previous suggestion.He knew the old car might be able to entice the Scottish couple.So he called the couple, hoping they would give him some advice—the valuation of the old car and whether it was worth buying, as a favor.

When the couple arrived, the car dealer said, "You are a very astute buyer, and you understand the value of the car. But can you please take a look at it, test the performance of the car, and tell me How much should I discount this car?" The male buyer was all smiles, because finally someone asked for his opinion and his ability was recognized.He drove the old car up the boulevard from Jamaica to Mount Florest and back. "If you can get the car for $300," he advised, "you're in for a bargain." "If I bought it at that price, would you buy it?" the car dealer asked. "$300? Of course." Yes, this is the male buyer's own idea and his estimated price.So the deal was done immediately.

Emerson said in the essay "Depending on Yourself": "In every creation and invention of genius, we see ideas that have been rejected by us in the past; great." Colonel Edward House had great influence in domestic and foreign affairs during President Wilson's administration.Wilson relied more on House's secret plots and advice than on his own cabinet members.How did Colonel House influence the President?We have the good fortune to know the answer because House himself told Arthur D. Smith, who in turn disclosed it in the Sunday Evening Post. "'After getting to know the President,' said House, 'I have found that the best way to convince him of an idea is to plant it naturally in him, and to subtly make him understand it. The idea interested him and made him think often. The first time this worked, it was pure coincidence.'” "'I visited him at the White House to persuade him to pursue a policy that he seemed to disapprove of. But a few days later, at a dinner party, I was surprised to hear him Take it as his own opinion.'” Did House stop him, saying "That's not your opinion, it's mine"?Oh Nope.House would never do that.He was so shrewd that he disdained to take credit and only wanted to be effective, so he made Wilson continue to think that the idea was his own.Not only that, but he gave Wilson credit for making these opinions public. We must remember that the man we are dealing with tomorrow may have human frailties just like Wilson, so we should follow Colonel House's approach. This method was likewise applied to me by a man who lived in New Brunswick, and thus got my patronage of his business.At the time, I was planning to go boating and fishing in New Brunswick, so I wrote to the travel agent to inquire about it.My name and address were obviously listed in the public information, because I immediately received dozens of letters, brochures and printed materials from campsites and guides, and I was almost confused. Knowing which one to choose is good. Not long afterward, one of the camp directors did a very clever thing. He sent me the names and phone numbers of several New Yorkers he had hosted, and asked me to call them and let me investigate his camp. Case.I was surprised to find that I actually knew one of them.I called him to find out his impressions and feelings about the camp, then called the camp and told them my date of arrival.While everyone else was pushing me, the camp director let me make my own arrangements.Therefore, he won. How to make the other party have a wonderful "illusion": (1) Ask the other party for advice humbly, let the other party give you an idea, and make the other party feel that it is his own idea. (2) You only need to give proper reminders to let him think actively, and he will come to the same opinion as you, but if your intention to do so is too obvious, he will adopt a resistance mentality. (3) The best way to influence a man is to inadvertently transplant an opinion into his mind, so that it becomes his own.