Chapter 16 Chapter3 6 eloquence skills to increase personal charm

Intro: In any situation, a change in volume can give you the power to focus. Every movement, every look, every word we say reveals what makes us who we are—something that belongs only to our own personality, when we are unique.When we start speaking on the podium, banquet, interview, and negotiation table, we will feel unprecedented relaxation, confidence and satisfaction because we have mastered the superb art of speaking.This is the characteristic of a good talker—they let every word and sentence they say have their own style, and they reach the other party's ears clearly and accurately, so that the other party is deeply attracted.

Voice is the carrier of the content of your speech. Your voice reflects your feeling, your mood and current state. It is a powerful and indispensable tool in your speaking.Great talkers are always good at establishing their own speaking style. Their voices are different, their intonations are lively and interesting, their manners are just right...everything related to them can reflect their characteristics.These are the only styles that are of real value to the talker.In order to have your own speaking style, you need to go through a series of important basic training. There are many vocal structures and body parts that we use when communicating our thoughts to our audience.We do this by shrugging our shoulders, waving our arms, frowning, raising the volume, changing pitch and pitch, and changing the rate of speech to produce different sounds depending on the situation and subject matter.It should be noted that what I am emphasizing is the effect of the sound and not the production of the sound, that is, the physical quality.Those things cannot be changed, and the sound effect is affected by the speaker's mood and state. This is one of the reasons why I emphasize that the speaker must be enthusiastic.Therefore, you need to be different from the beginning.

Unfortunately, most of us lose the innocence and spontaneity of our childhood as we grow older, unknowingly falling into certain patterns of communication that we are used to.This makes our speech more and more lifeless.What's more, we're also less and less likely to use hand gestures, and stop raising and lowering our voices in rhythmic rhythms.In short, we are gradually losing the liveliness and spontaneity of our real conversations, our unique, individual selves. In life, we have too many incorrect habits that need to be corrected. For example, we may have developed the habit of speaking too fast or too slowly; our words will be very scattered if we are not careful.I always emphasize that you need to be natural when you speak, and you may mistakenly think that you can choose words randomly or express in a boring way-as long as you are natural.actually not.I ask everyone to speak naturally, because I want you to express your thoughts completely in words.From another point of view, a good talker will never think that he can no longer increase his vocabulary, use imagination and diction, change the form of expression and enhance the effect of expression.These are what people who pursue excellence are willing to do.

For those who are eager to learn speaking skills, they must first learn to shape their own speaking style. You'd better pay attention to the changes in your volume, pitch and speaking speed, which is of great practical value.You can do this by recording what you say, asking a friend to point it out to you, or even better, having an expert guide you.However, these are exercises without a speaking partner, which is completely different from actual speaking.Once you are in front of people, you have to put all your energy into speaking to resonate with them. Second, you have to choose your speaking voice - it all depends on your personality, the situation and the feelings you want to convey.Usually your pronunciation should be crisp and loud.When you speak clearly, you appear confident, purposeful, and expressive, which will give the other person a sense of poise.In public, if other people's conversation is in the stage of endless debate, you stand up and say a word, the sentence is short and the voice is loud, it will have a shocking effect.

How do you control the volume of your speaking?Do you speak in a voice that everyone can hear - I mean your voice is loud enough and clear.This may be easier for you to do if you are in a sit-down conversation between two or three people.In fact, if your volume is too loud at this time, it will make people think that you are arguing with others.However, if you are facing hundreds or thousands of audiences, such as standing in a square and giving a speech, you should try to reach as many people as possible.Because if they didn't hear it, they'll ignore what you said instead of reminding you to speak up or retell it.Therefore, you need to adjust your volume according to the situation.

Note that the change in accent will change the meaning of what you are trying to express.When you need to emphasize a certain point, you can increase the volume appropriately.Raising the volume in an important place can attract everyone's attention.Of course, sometimes lowering the volume appropriately can also enable you to achieve this goal.You have to keep this in mind, in any situation, the change of volume can make you focus. Let's take a look at how Lincoln cleverly used the change of accent to save himself. Once, Lincoln was cleaning his boots with his head down, and happened to be seen by a foreign diplomat. He mocked Lincoln and said:

"Mr. President, do you often polish your boots?" "Yes," Lincoln replied, "whom do you often shine boots for?" Lincoln's words cleverly shifted the accent of the other party, freed himself from the situation of being ridiculed, and put the other party in an embarrassing situation.If you can skillfully shift the accent of others' speech, you can also create a sense of humor and resolve unnecessary troubles. In addition, the change of the sound can be full of changes and layers, and the level of the sound will affect the mood of the listener.Who wants to hear such a high-pitched voice if you've been speaking in a high pitched voice?Also, when you generally use treble, your voice will appear too monotonous.Therefore, you have to change in pitch, which can make your voice pleasant and more dynamic.Like adjusting the volume, changing your voice allows you to be more active in conveying your message when it comes to clarifying a point.You can take a slightly higher or lower voice to show how much you value a point.

When we usually talk with people, the voice will fluctuate constantly, just like the sea constantly rises and falls.Why is this so?Nobody knows, and nobody cares.But it's clearly pleasurable in this way, and it's also a very natural way.However, when we start some kind of formal speech, our voice becomes dry, flat and monotonous, like a desert.When you find yourself in the above situation, stop and reflect. For the control of speech and voice, we need to avoid the following wrong ways. First, you must make the other person feel that you are very confident in what you have to say.When your voice trembles or hesitates, the other person will think that you are not sure about what you are saying.If you are not sure about what you are saying, how can you ask the other party to be interested in it?

Second, don't make it sound like you're talking to yourself.Voices that are too low or inarticulate can also sound like you're unsure.You may not have intended for the other person to hear these words of yours, but they hear them vaguely and don't know what you are talking about, and they will become suspicious and guess that you are saying something that is not good for them. Third, if your teeth are clenched together, or worse, your lips are clenched like a ventriloquist, there is no doubt that you are speaking nasally.The biggest problem with nasal speaking is slurred pronunciation.In this way, the other party will think that you are complaining, and you will appear listless and lifeless, very negative.

Fourth, if your voice is like the braking sound of an airplane landing, the other party will find you very annoying, so they won't listen to you.Loud voices can make your speech aggressive, and they will think you are in a position of overwhelming and intimidating them, which is not what they want.So, when you shout for everyone to listen to you, no one will listen to you. Fifth, you may cause such a situation: When you reach the end of a sentence or a key point, your voice will slowly lower, and finally disappear.This can make sentences sound incomplete.You have to believe that the other party will not be willing to guess what you said later.

Sixth, if you want to have a pleasant voice, it is best not to mix with local accents.Of course, if you do use it, you have to use some method to emphasize it, and not make people think that your pronunciation is not standard. Seventh, no matter what your intention is, it is ultimately expressed through sound.Therefore, if your voice contains arrogance, contempt, or other negative emotional elements, you can hurt the listener or make others feel disrespected. When you're in a negative state, if you mix it into your voice, people will imagine it's much worse than it really is and distract themselves.For example, your slight frustration may be interpreted as hysteria, while your disappointment may be interpreted as despair.Therefore, you must show your post-treatment emotion in your tone of voice in order to attract the other person's attention in a positive way. Please polish your voice: (1) The voice is not static, you must make your voice rich in variety. (2) Pay attention to your own pronunciation, you need to practice solidly. (3) Sound is the tool you use to communicate with your audience, and you need to master it thoroughly.