Chapter 10 Chapter2 6 practice rules to become a master of communication

Introduction: If you want to give people a good impression, the simplest, most obvious and most important way is to be able to call out the other person's name casually. Remembering someone's name can sometimes be difficult, especially if the person's name is not easy to remember.Most people don’t want to remember such hard-to-remember names, and they think: “Forget it, just call him by his nickname, and it’s easy to remember.” But, have you ever thought that once you remember someone’s name, What effect will it have? One of my students, Sid Levy, once visited a customer with a particularly difficult name, Nicodemus Papaduras.Because the name is too difficult to remember, others call him "Nick".

Levi told me: "Before I went to visit him, I made a special effort to remember his name. When I saw him, I called him by his full name. I said to him 'Good morning, Mr. Nicodemus Papaduras'. I saw him standing there without saying a word, and he was stunned for several minutes without recovering. At last, his tears flowed down, and his voice tremblingly said to I said 'Mr. Levi, I have been in this country for 15 years and no one has ever wanted to call me by my real name like you'!" Rich people often pay poor writers, artists and musicians.They hope that these writers and artists can dedicate their works to them so that their names can be spread along with these works.In our libraries and museums, the most valuable works of art are often donated by wealthy individuals who want their names remembered.For example, the New York Library has the collections of the Esther family and the Lillock family, the Metropolitan Museum preserves the signed letters of Benjamin Etman and J.P. Morgande, and almost every church has a mosaic. Stained glass to commemorate those who donated.

This shows that people always attach great importance to their names and want others to remember them.If you want to give people a good impression, the simplest, most obvious and most important way is to be able to call out the other person's name casually.Because of that, you give the other person the feeling of being valued -- and as far as I know, everyone wants to feel that way.This method can be said to be tried and tested. What is the reason for the success of "Steel King" Andrew Carnegie?Although he is known as the "Steel King", he does not have much knowledge of steel.He has thousands of people working for him who know a lot more than he does.The reason for this is that he is good at talking with people and understands the principles of dealing with people, which is the secret of his fortune.

When Carnegie was 10 years old, he caught a female rabbit one day, and soon the female rabbit gave birth to a litter of young rabbits, and the feed was not enough.How did Carnegie handle it?He didn't have a headache at all, and he had a wonderful idea in his mind. He gathered the children in the neighborhood and announced: whoever can pull the most grass to feed the bunny will name the bunny after him.So the children all scrambled to find feed for the little rabbit, and Carnegie's plan was successfully implemented. He has never forgotten this success. Throughout his life, he used people's psychology to successfully lead many people.In business, he has made millions using this method.For example, in order to sell steel tracks to the Pennsylvania Railroad, he built a large steel mill in Pittsburgh named after the company's chairman, Greg Thomson.

At one point, the Central Transportation Company controlled by Carnegie and the company controlled by Pullman both wanted to get the business of the Union Pacific Railroad Company, and they fought each other to kill the price. When Carnegie ran into Pullman one night at the St. Nichols Hotel, Carnegie said, "Good night, Mr. Pullman, aren't we making a fool of ourselves?" "How do you say that?" said Pullman. Carnegie said what was in his heart. He wanted to merge the two companies.He also talked about the advantages of cooperating instead of competing with each other.Pullman listened intently, and finally asked, "What's the name of your company?"

Carnegie immediately said: "Pulman Palace Sleeping Car Company." The problem was solved smoothly. Carnegie's way of remembering and valuing the names of friends and business people is one of the great secrets of his great leadership.He prides himself on being able to call many employees by name, and he makes it a big job to remember people by name. As a politician, remembering the names of voters is often his first lesson, and if you forget their names, you will fail badly.President Franklin D. Roosevelt was a model when it came to remembering people's names.As we all know, President Roosevelt is one of the busiest people in the world, but he knew the importance of remembering other people's names, so he was willing to spend time doing it.

Once, Chrysler made a car specially for President Roosevelt, General Manager Chamberlain and a mechanic drove the car to the White House.In Chamberlain's letter, he described the situation at that time: "I taught President Roosevelt how to drive a car with a lot of special parts, and President Roosevelt taught me a lot about how to behave. The President was so happy that I was called to the White House, he called me by name immediately, This made me very happy. I was particularly impressed that he really paid attention to the instructions I gave him. The car was specially designed to perfection and could be operated entirely by hand. The president said 'this car It's just perfect. Just press the button to turn it on and it drives effortlessly. I don't know how it works. I wish I had time to research it and see how it works '."

"While many of the president's friends and colleagues gathered around to praise the car, he said to me in front of everyone, 'Mr. Chamberlain, you put a lot of time and effort into designing this car, thank you very much. The car is simply amazing'!" "Then he complimented the radiator, the special mirrors, the clock, the special lights, the style of the upholstery, the driver's seat, the special trunk with his initials on it—he noticed Every detail, I gave a great compliment to my hard work. He also specially called Mrs. Roosevelt, Secretary Ms. Poggin, Secretary of Labor, etc. to pay attention to these parts. He even asked his black driver to say to him 'George , you have to take good care of these suitcases'."

"After the driving lesson, the president said to me 'Okay, Mr. Chamberlain, I've had the Federal Reserve board wait for me for 30 minutes. I think I should get back to work'." "I took a mechanic with me. The mechanic was a very shy guy, and he always stood behind us when we were talking. Even though he never spoke to the President, and the President only listened to him. I introduced his name once, but unexpectedly, when we were leaving, the president went out of his way to find the mechanic, shook his hand, and called out his name to thank him for coming to Washington. "

"I could feel that his thanks were not artificial at all, but sincere. A few days later, I received a photo signed by President Roosevelt, followed by a short thank you for my help." Rhetoric. As a head of state, how could President Roosevelt have the time to do something like this? It really confuses me." Why did President Roosevelt make such a deep and beautiful impression on Mr. Chamberlain?Of course not because he is the head of state, but because he gives people a feeling of being valued.Why can he give people this feeling?The reason is simple: he respects them very much and remembers their names.

Remembering other people's names is also important in everyone's career and business dealings. Benton Raff, chairman of Texas Business Corporation, has this feeling: the bigger the company, the colder the relationship between people will be.He believes that remembering other people's names is the only way to make the company atmosphere harmonious. Rock Parrow, an airline flight attendant in California, has trained herself to remember passengers' names and pay attention to calling them by name during service.This makes travelers feel very friendly.Some passengers will praise her in person, while others will write to the company to praise her. One commendation letter wrote: "I haven't taken your company's plane for a long time. But from now on, I decide to only take your company's plane in the future. Your kind service makes me feel that your company seems to belong to me personally, That's very important." Most people often can't remember other people's names, most of the reasons are that they don't notice the importance of this matter.Now that you know how important it is to remember people's names, why not take the time and effort to do it?Napoleon's nephew, Napoleon III, once said: "Although I am very busy, I will not forget the name of everyone I have ever heard of." It's not because he has a great memory, but because his methods are very good.In fact, his method is very simple.If he didn't hear the other person's name clearly, he would ask the other person to say it again.If the name was uncommon, he would ask the other person to spell it out.In the process of talking, he will repeatedly remember the other person's name and combine it with his appearance, appearance and other characteristics.At the end of the meeting, he would usually write the name down and stare at it for a long time until he was sure he had it firmly in his mind.In this way, of course, I will remember it very firmly. In this way, remembering other people's names does take some work, but it is obviously worth it.Emerson once said: "Politeness is bought by small sacrifices." If you plan to integrate into this society and become a successful person in the social field, what is this sacrifice? So, if you want to be a good talker, please pay attention to point 1: remember people's names-it's the most beautiful voice for people to hear. A small detail can achieve big results: (1) Calling other people's names is more effective than doing other things with great effort. It will be more effective with less effort. (2) Call the other party's name directly in your conversation, which will not only make you more impressed by the name, but also shorten the distance between you. (3) First of all, you must understand that remembering other people's names is a very important thing, so that you will pay attention to doing it. (4) If you forget someone's name, find out his name through some means before meeting next time, and remember it.