Chapter 49 It's important to be good at listening

Almost all men believe in the popular saying of "women's flowers". In the eyes of men, the reason why they have no chance to talk is because women talk too much. If women want to satisfy men in terms of speaking, they should understand that when the man opposite you is expressing his opinions in high spirits, the most important attitude you should have is to sit there quietly. A year ago, I heard this story from a friend of mine: There was a man who went to explore the East with a dream.When he reached the Himalayas, he encountered the most terrible disaster in the world-an avalanche.He had been snowbound for seven days when search and rescue teams found him.Everyone thought that this man was bound to die, but he miraculously survived, because he always had such a belief in his heart-he must go home and see his wife again.Finally, he finally returned to his warm home.

His wife was ironing when he knocked on the door.The man was so excited because he escaped from death.He practically screamed to his wife, "Honey, do you know what happened while I was gone? Oh, you didn't! I got to the Himalayas and got into a terrible avalanche. God forbid I didn't die , because I want to see you. You can't imagine, that heavy snow is really..." Suddenly, the man stopped talking, but stared blankly at his wife.It turned out that his wife was not listening to him at all, but was still there concentrating on ironing clothes.After a while, his wife turned around and said to him: "Please don't tell me those boring things. I always disapprove of your taking risks." The man was extremely depressed, and returned to his room with his head down.

That night, the man who had just narrowly escaped suicide committed suicide. He wrote in his suicide note: I really can't tolerate such a thing, why can't my wife listen to me?I couldn't tell her everything that happened to me, and the feeling of not having sympathy and understanding was worse than death.Therefore, I finally decided to choose death. The above examples show how dire the consequences can be if a wife fails to listen to her husband!But in life, some men think that a man should be stronger, so he should not bring his career troubles to his wife. Of course, this view is wrong.In fact, every man hopes that he can become a big man with a successful career and let his wife live a rich material life.Therefore, they are unwilling to admit that they have faced failure, and they never realize that no matter what the situation is, they should face these problems with their wives.

Of course, in life, we often see another situation.Some husbands originally wanted to tell their wives about the troubles they were facing, but their wives were not interested in this, or they didn't know how to solve their husbands' distress at all. Scenes such as the following often appear in life: the husband returns home in a hurry, and without even taking a breath, he excitedly says to his wife: "Honey, do you know? Today is a day worth celebrating! The board of directors specifically asked me to report on the work of the group I was in charge of, and also asked me to put forward my own opinions, and..."

"Oh, really?" The wife was obviously thinking about other things, and she said lightly, "Honey, do you want to eat ham? Besides, the fireplace needs to be cleaned. Go check it after you finish eating!" "Honey, no problem. As I said just now, I have finally attracted the attention of the board of directors! Haha, to be honest, I was a little nervous at the time, and my hands were shaking a little, but it's okay, even the chairman nodded I appreciate it very much..." But the wife stopped the husband from continuing to talk, "My dear, I think they may not understand you and don't value you. And at night, the school called, and the son's recent study His grades have dropped drastically, you need to give him some thoughtful guidance, I have nothing to do with my son."

Until then, the husband finally understood that what he should do now is to quickly swallow his success in today's career together with the ham, and then go to fix the fireplace, and then go to help his son with his studies. Such an embarrassing scene, could it be that the wife is too selfish?Of course not.It's just that at that time, the couple hoped that the other party would listen to what they had to say. The husband was eager to tell his wife about his excitement. It's a question of learning. I believe that the husband will also be willing to listen to his wife's talk at this time.

It can be seen that a wife who is good at listening can bring the greatest comfort to her husband.It can be imagined that a gentle and natural woman is listening to others seriously, and the questions she asks show that she has understood every word said by the other party. Of course, she is the most popular among people. The American "Fuxing" magazine once published an article with the following sentence: As a wife, there are many things to do, such as housework, child care, etc., but the most important thing among all things is to listen quietly and attentively The husband talked about the distress he encountered in the office and could not vent.

In fact, what men need is not advice, but wives who actively and skillfully listen to them.The greatest hope of men is to be able to pour out all their suppressed emotions when they return home.All women who have worked outside should know that no matter whether the day's work is good or bad, if the man at home can talk to her, she is very happy.There are usually no opportunities to express opinions in the office. Even if we encounter very happy things, we cannot sing happily there; even if we encounter a lot of annoying things, it is not convenient to talk to colleagues... They have a lot of trouble.So, when we get home, we need to vent out loud the worries of the day.

Some women may disagree with this view, thinking that this is to deprive women of the right to express their opinions.Maybe women don't realize the importance of being good at listening. In fact, this is not only the greatest help to their husbands, but also a valuable asset for women.Imagine if a sincere woman can pay attention during a conversation with someone, and ask questions now and then, then it is a sure sign to the other party that she has grasped every word the other party has said.I believe that such a lady is welcome no matter where she goes. So, how can we learn to listen?I think at least the following two conditions must be met:

Don't blink your eyes, let alone show a little restlessness.If you are just listening to him absent-mindedly, but you are still thinking about what to buy at the supermarket tomorrow, or you are still thinking about which clothes to choose when you go shopping in the mall tomorrow. If we are listening to someone's speech carefully, our body will naturally lean forward slightly, our eyes will lock the other person's eyes, and our facial expressions will change according to the content of the conversation.If, when a person is speaking, he finds that the other party has no expression, it will generally be difficult for him to continue speaking.Therefore, if you are moved by his words, you should express it with your actual actions. When the other party makes you realize suddenly, you should change your sitting posture.

Anyone who wants to be a good listener must have the skill of asking leading questions at the right time.The so-called leading questions are questions that have flexibly implied the questioner's tendency in the question.Sometimes direct questions can feel very offensive, but this kind of leading question can move the conversation forward.Especially when talking with strangers, people are mostly embarrassed because they meet for the first time. At this time, using the correct inductive questioning method is the best tool to break the dull state.