Chapter 44 make him feel important

I have mentioned more than once that the deepest driving force in human nature is to hope to be important.The famous psychologist William James of Harvard University once pointed out in public: "In the essence of human beings, there is one of the most ardent needs, that is, the desire to be affirmed by others." Other animals are different, and it is precisely under the influence of this need that human beings have a rich culture. However, many women don't seem to take this seriously.Ladies often complain that their husbands bring home too little salary, complain that they often work overtime, but never sincerely praise them.These practices undoubtedly lead to communication barriers between husband and wife, because wives forget a very important thing - to make the husband feel important.

One day a few years ago, I was waiting in line at a New York post office for a registered letter to be delivered.I saw a salesperson with a very bad attitude because he seemed very impatient.Indeed, the monotony of weighing, picking up stamps, making change, and writing receipts, year after year, can be tedious.So I said to myself, "I should help him and make him happy. At the same time, I should make him like me. So I should find something to say, but it must be about him." Then I Ask yourself, "So what is it about him that I should praise?" I must admit that it is indeed not easy to find the good points in a stranger in a short period of time.However, fortunately, I have deliberately trained myself in this area, so it is not very difficult for me to praise this salesperson.So, when he weighed my letter, I said to him sincerely: "God really favors some lucky people. I really hope that I can have such beautiful hair like you." He was surprised at the time , smiled and said to me: "Really? It is true, but unfortunately it is not as beautiful as it used to be!" I said to him: "Although it may not be as beautiful as before, I think it is still very good! "He was very excited and talked to me for a while.Finally, he said to me happily: "Thank you for your compliment on my hair."

I bet that gentleman is having a great time today and telling his wife in the evening, "You know what, a nice guy complimented my hair today." A psychologist friend of mine once said to me: "Everyone is the same. We all want to be recognized by others, and we all need others to know our value. You, me, and everyone else yearn to be in the place where we exist. There’s a sense of being important to other people in the world. You don’t like the insincere compliments, but you love the sincere compliments.” Mr. Chris works as a reporter in a newspaper.To be honest, he is really not suitable for this job, because he is introverted, shy, and lacks self-confidence.Every morning, Mr. Chris gets up with a frown, eats breakfast with a bitter face, and then leaves the house in frustration, because he knows that he will endure another day of torture.And at night, when the front door of his house opened, Mr. Chris would scowl and idly throw his briefcase on the sofa.He doesn't like watching TV, and he has no other hobbies. His day is composed of four parts: going to work, leaving get off work, dazed and sleeping.For him, life is not a happy enjoyment, but a painful torture.

Finally one day, Mr. Chris couldn't bear it anymore.At dinner, he said to his wife, "Honey, am I really useless? I feel like I'm superfluous in this world." The wife looked at him and replied, "I don't know. What made you think that way, but I never thought of it. I always thought, Chris, that you were the best person in the world. You know what? The things you wrote made a lot of people aware of what just happened Fact, and because of you, our family has been living a very prosperous life. I don't know what a successful person is, but I think you are very successful in everything you do. Chris , why do you not believe in yourself so much? You will always be the hero in my heart." Chris didn't react after hearing this, but just murmured inwardly: "I'm the best? I'm the best?..."

The next morning, when Chris got up, he found that his wife had gone to work.He came to the table, ready to eat breakfast, and suddenly saw a note that said: "Chris, you have to believe in yourself, I always think you are the most important." Since then, Mr. Chris has never felt pain again, because he knows that he is very important to society and family.He is no longer shy, no longer afraid, but also full of confidence in life and work.Today, he has achieved the position of editor-in-chief of the newspaper.All this is due to his wife.Chris is really lucky because he met a smart wife.On the contrary, if Chris meets the following wife, I'm afraid he really doesn't have the courage to live anymore.

In 1943, I had the honor to interview Mr. Henry Ford, the American car magnate.I know this gentleman is a person who believes in reincarnation, so I asked him: "Mr. Ford, I would like to know, if you can really be reincarnated, what would you most like to be born next time?" Mr. Ford laughed He smiled and said, "It's nothing, Dale! I don't care about my family background, or being poor. What I want most is to be able to start a family with my wife again. That will make me fearless." I know Ford This word from the sir comes from the heart, for no man is willing to abandon his faithful believers.

At the end of the 19th century, Henry Ford was just a young tradesman.At that time, he was employed by the electric light company in Detroit City, working 10 hours a day, and his weekly salary was only 11 dollars.After returning home every night, Ford always hid in an old shed at home and worked until late at night, because he always dreamed of developing a new engine by his own efforts. However, it seems that everyone does not support Henry Ford's approach.Henry's father, a farmer, was convinced that his son's foolishness was wasting his time.His neighbors also laughed at him, thinking he was a super stupid.

Facing the incomprehension of those around him, Ford's faith did not waver at all, because his wife has always supported him silently. Even though she has to do a lot of things every day, she will always stop after finishing what she is doing. Come to the old shed to help Ford do research.Winter is the most difficult day. In order to allow her husband to work with peace of mind, Mrs. Ford always stood by, silently holding a kerosene lamp to illuminate her husband.Sometimes, her hands were blue from the cold, and her teeth chattered up and down.However, Mrs. Ford has never doubted her husband, and has always believed that he will succeed one day.

Finally, three years later, one day in 1893, a series of strange sounds suddenly came from the street.Neighbors of the Ford family didn't know what was going on, and all looked out of their windows.God!They saw Ford, the Big Oddity, sitting with his wife in a carriage that had no horses to draw it.It was unbelievable that the strange carriage could run up and down the street—a new industry was born.The reason why Mr. Henry Ford was able to achieve such a great achievement is of course inseparable from the strong support of his wife. It can be seen that when a man's career encounters setbacks, when a man is in trouble, what does he need most?A woman who stands by him, follows him, believes in him, and takes care of him.When a man works outside, he will always encounter all kinds of unsatisfactory things, and sometimes even put himself in danger.At this time, what a man needs most is the support of his wife, because only she can give him enough courage to face reality and resist any difficulties.Ladies, when your husband is going through a tough time, all you have to do is let him know that no matter what happens, nothing will shake your faith in him.

Through the analysis of the above examples, I believe that the ladies are already very clear at this time why they should make their husbands feel important.