Chapter 39 Be a good daughter and a good mother

Love is a matter between two people, and there is no room for a third person in the world of love.However, in real life, once a woman enters the threshold of marriage, you will find that it is not completely decided by two people.Not only you and your husband live in the married house, but also two big families of both parties. This is a problem that women must pay attention to after marriage. Marriage is not simply the union of two people, but the union of one family with another, of the kinship of the man and the kinship of the woman.Regarding the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, my opinion is: love him, even his mother.Love is to build a bridge to the future for the loved one.The son is the darling of the mother. She has been cared for since she was a child. One day, her private property is taken by you. Do you think she will feel better?Every married woman will inevitably deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The key to this is to be a good daughter and a good mother.

When you are on weekends and holidays, you should try to go home to reunite with your parents, talk together, walk with your parents, go shopping, and go around, so that your parents can enjoy their old age in a deep family relationship.When you are in other places, you should also make a phone call to say blessings to your parents. Often a phone call, a letter, and a greeting will warm and nourish the hearts of your parents. The elderly's spiritual needs are far greater than their material needs, while children pay little attention to their parents.Children should not only help their parents materially, but also care about them spiritually, such as taking time to talk with their parents, talking about interesting things in life and work, and talking about mutual feelings and experiences .

The love for parents must not only be reflected in words and deeds, but also in every bit of life.Such as sending living expenses to parents on time; when parents are doing housework, they should actively participate and ask parents to take a break; when parents go out, they should remind parents whether they have forgotten things or pay attention to weather changes; Say words of comfort, etc. On your parents' birthday, no matter how busy you are, remember to give them a warm hug, a sweet smile, a warm blessing, a bouquet of the most beautiful carnations... although these are very common and insignificant.But these have extraordinary meanings to parents. Your growth and filial piety are the greatest comfort to them.

The old man has rich experience and has a deep understanding of life.You can ask your mother-in-law to tell about her past. On the one hand, you can learn more about your mother-in-law. On the other hand, you can also learn from it what kind of childhood your husband had when he was a child and what kind of growth trajectory he had.Or you can talk with your mother-in-law about work, family, society, etc. From this, you can feel her ideological tendency, her understanding of the problem, and more or less understand her personality of the elderly.At the same time, you can also talk about yourself and let her know more about you.For the advantages of your mother-in-law, you should give timely praise.Some seemingly inconspicuous compliments can make her full of joy, but you can't flatter her. Some false words will not work with the elderly and will make her bored. Praise must be sincere and come from the heart.

After getting along for a long time, when you have conflicts with your mother-in-law, you should stay rational and don't disturb others. After the quarrel, you can't show your family ugliness to the outside world. You should solve it calmly. You need to adjust yourself by calmly thinking about the reasons, and then take the initiative Go and apologize to her, she generally doesn't care in this situation.But then again, arguing with others is a very shameful thing, would you let this happen to yourself? Love is great, love dissolves everything.Use your tolerance and understanding, and use your love to influence your mother-in-law.Some mother-in-laws were angry with her parents-in-law when she was young, and now she finally has a bright future. When she sees you, her revenge mentality is at work. Of course, she will punish you, and she will not take advantage of you.You should try to consider her as much as possible, care about her more at ordinary times, and don't confront your mother-in-law, but don't let yourself fall into a situation of being bullied by others, and use your ingenuity to resolve it.

A smile is like the sun, it can illuminate everyone who sees it, and it can bring light and warmth to people.Children love someone who laughs.Smiling at him means: "I love you! I like you! You make me happy. I'm glad to see you." As a mother, no matter how busy, tired, or annoying you are, you should smile at your child and treat your child with a smile. For him, a mother's smile is very important. Children who grow up with a smile tend to develop an optimistic and positive attitude. Who would use their own shortcomings as a condition of survival?People should maximize their strengths and avoid their weaknesses.As a mother, you should especially discover the strengths of your children.The first thing to do is to find out what makes your child different.When Edison was a child, he liked to take apart things. In the eyes of others, this was a naughty performance, but his mother firmly believed that this was the son's greatest advantage.It was by being encouraged that Edison's hands-on ability became stronger and stronger, and eventually became a great inventor.So, have you found that your child is different?If you haven't figured it out, chances are you've unwittingly killed a genius!

Today's material living standards have been greatly improved.For children, everything comes easily, and most of them feel indifferent to it, neither cherish nor excited.A glass of water is worth gold to a man who is dying of thirst.How unfortunate it would be if a child never had the opportunity to desire something!If you want to be truly responsible to your children, leave some room for them to "desire"! Mothers should use the language of love to encourage their children, such as: "I'm happy to make progress", "You're doing well", "It's great, it's time to celebrate", "It's good to know your mistakes, it's good", "Don't be discouraged"... With the encouragement of love, miracles will eventually happen!

A child's heart is pure, and a child's emotions are delicate.Mothers who want to be friends with their children must listen to their sincere voices.Children often hope that their parents can share his happiness and share his troubles.To be a good mother who listens, you must first look at your child at eye level and not condescend.Secondly, you must show interest in listening, and you must convey your attentive listening attitude to your child in a timely manner, or you can convey it with facial expressions.For example: keep smiling, and often act surprised.It can also be expressed verbally.For example, "Your idea is too good, please continue to say!".

As a mother, you must closely combine love and discipline, so that you can restrain your children's improper behavior, and only then can you truly fulfill the great mission of a woman's unshirkable duty of "caring for her husband and raising her children". The famous educator Suhomlinski said: "Sometimes the moral shock caused by tolerance is stronger than punishment." As a parent, we must tolerate those children who are poor in learning, naughty and so-called "problem children", so that children have A more relaxed room to grow. A mother who truly loves her child should act weaker in front of her child and give her child a chance to love others.Don't always regard yourself as a mountain and your children as grass, let them lean on you, look up to you, and fear you.The opposite is true - when you want your child to be a mountain, the child will stand up to the ground.