Chapter 34 What a good wife should do

For a newly married woman, marriage is like a fantasy, and marriage is a honeymoon life, full of romantic sentiment.But when the harsh reality tests you, you will find that all the facts are quite different from your imagination.Has the husband changed?Or have you changed yourself?Or have you both changed? So, do you now want your dream to become a reality?So, let us jointly understand the true connotation of these twelve principles. Many women think that they were in love when they were young, and of course they were in love at that time, but after they get married, they usually doubt whether they were in love.Sometimes she still thinks that her current marriage is a serious mistake at all, and that she should marry someone else.

In fact, the reason for this kind of thinking is that the love you imagined when you were young was too simple, because after all, love is actually very complicated.Love is giving, not asking.If you love your husband, you should be considerate to him, be patient with him, forgive his failures, meet his needs, and don't criticize him.Neither a blunt nor a begging attitude can get love, because your appearance cannot make him love you from the bottom of his heart. Because perfect people cannot exist in the world, so there will not be perfect marriages either.Young people often harbor unrealistic desires for marriage.Although there are some very ideal marriages in real life, you have to understand that this is the result of years of joint efforts of both husband and wife.

Married life is like a new journey. From now on, you must be mentally prepared to endure hardships for a long time. Only in this way can you win a happy and harmonious marriage."The tedious job, the kid's diapers, and the loan" takes all your energy on this new journey.Also, after you get married, you gradually find that your husband starts to show flaws that he didn’t show when you were in love—there are differences, conflicts, quarrels, and anger between you.But you have to learn tolerance and forgiveness, and you have to use good patience and skills to handle the marriage relationship, which requires people's emotional and spiritual maturity.If you can do it, you can surely have a happy marriage.

Everyone in the world is unique, and your husband is no exception.Like you, he is a composite unlike any other.He has the toughness and strength of a man, with his own flaws, needs, and preferences.All in all, don't try to make him happy in the way you imagine.Although you have a strong desire to please your husband, your methods may not meet his needs, nor will you achieve your goals. However, you can't have any bad opinions on his hobbies, it is very harmful, and you must abandon it firmly. You should find out what your husband really likes.Don't think your marriage is wrong if you can't satisfy all his needs at first, because neither can completely satisfy the other.Likewise, if your husband does not meet all your requirements, you should not conclude that he is not suitable to be your husband.

During the first few years of your marriage, you will depend on your parents for everything.However, as you slowly mature and become independent, you will gradually reduce the number of times you depend on them until you are completely independent.But in fact, parents love their children.Even though they realize that their daughter should be allowed to handle things independently, they are afraid of losing her daughter.This subconscious sense of fear can manifest in many forms, such as giving advice to her daughter at any time in her life. Maybe these advices are very wise, very effective, and even completely control her life style.

For her daughter, parents have a strong desire to control and possess. Although she expresses that she wants her daughter to be independent, she cannot cut off the family relationship. She has a natural desire to meet the needs of her children. On the other hand, although her daughter realizes that she should be independent , but I still feel that I still need the help of my mother. I feel that I am still very naive and do not have the ability to be decisively independent. Therefore, I cannot firmly refuse my mother's interference. Generally, women are desperate for comfort from men.The smartest way is to first praise the qualities you expect from your husband. If your husband doesn't care much about things around him and doesn't understand what you need, you should gently let him know what you are thinking.If you always complain, or make yourself miserable, then you can only make him feel disgusted.Also, no man wants to be seen as a little boy, so don't blame and force your husband in the tone of a mother who blames a child. This approach is doomed to failure.

In life, everyone can have a certain degree of jealousy, if it is not too much, it will not cause too much damage.But when jealousy turns into possessiveness, it can be extremely harmful.Jealousy and possessiveness go hand in hand, and insecurity is the root cause of excessive possessiveness. This kind of possessiveness will make the husband feel cold, so he will leave the house and even turn his attention to other women.If you have a lot of insecurities, that's bound to happen, and you can't remove the block, then you should go to a marriage professional, it will take a lot of time and patience to improve the situation.

You will be especially happy if your husband comes home full of enthusiasm.In fact, your husband is just like you. When he comes home from get off work, he expects you to give him a big hug or kiss.On the contrary, if he is greeted by some annoying trifles, such as the child getting into trouble again, the sewer is broken again, and it is time to clean up the garbage, etc., then the husband and wife will easily have conflicts. So, just this afternoon, when your husband comes home, you try to greet him warmly, instead of complaining and complaining to him as soon as you meet as before, you can wait a while and say those people It's very good for you.

We should understand that we cannot change others directly, we can only change ourselves.When we change ourselves, others will also change themselves.That kind of "you have to obey me" attitude will only resent the other party, not only will the husband fight back, but it will even arouse even greater resentment.Therefore, do not order, force, or beg.Stop trying to change your husband's behavior and show your love and good patience for him. These people always feel that they are better than others and have a special sense of superiority.In fact, there are only subtle differences between people, and no one is special.But in life, everyone has special needs that they want to be better than others.A self-righteous person will only make unreasonable demands, give orders to others, lose his temper when his wishes are not met, and never want to give others any care... If you find yourself like this, even This situation is not very obvious, and you have to quit this bad habit from now on.

For your husband's shortcomings, no matter what, don't blame and complain endlessly. You have to know that the more you criticize, the further your husband will run away. Even if you are completely correct, you can't control him.Even if you throw a tantrum, or act hurt, it won't work, and it takes patience to build a good marriage. For a few dishes that your husband likes, you have to do a great job.Here, you are not required to know how to cook Manchu and Han banquets, delicacies from mountains and seas, but you are only required to cook a few dishes that your husband loves in a targeted manner.You might as well learn from the recipes, or learn from others. The best effect is: when he goes out to eat the same dish, he will think it is not as good as his wife's cooking.

There is no direct relationship between ugliness and beauty in the external image. As someone said, there are no "ugly" women in the world, only "lazy" women.Any man hopes that the woman who is by his side will always be beautiful.Here, please remember that no matter how old you are, and no matter what the occasion, you must pay attention to your own dressing and know his favorite dressing style.