Chapter 33 There is a "degree" in quarrels, and there is a good way to reconcile

Girls are educated to think that love is the first priority in life, while boys are taught to win at work, in competitions, and love is not the first thing.Women like love with tension and challenges that can make them lose their minds, so it is easy to rush into dangerous emotional situations.Men are more cautious in this aspect. In contact with women, they are self-defensive and have a need to hide their fear and anxiety. Their early education makes them unable to control themselves and each other even when a woman is in love. , and did not show panic. In fact, whether we are men or women, our emotions are controlled by others, often without our own awareness.When love is not reciprocated, we can experience pain worse than death, because it is a wound to self-esteem and a painful blow to self-confidence.

When there is a cloud on your boyfriend's face, if you can send a few "sweet words", not only will his anger disappear immediately, but he will also think that you are sensible and understanding. "Love without quarrels" is undoubtedly a fantasy for lovers to get along with each other.As the saying goes: "Everyone's chimney smokes." Even the most loving lover, after a long time together, will inevitably encounter unhappy things, and there will always be times when lovers contradict each other.Many women are afraid of quarreling with their boyfriends, and try to avoid it as much as possible. They think that conflict and anger between the two are not good, and it is easy to damage the relationship between the two.And that's not the case.As long as the quarrel between lovers is handled well, it may not be a bad thing, because such a quarrel can not only add some life sentiment, but also help to understand each other's ideas and eliminate the differences in opinions between the two parties.

As long as you know the art of quarreling, lovers will be able to quarrel and still be close, and the bond of love will become tighter and tighter.So, how can this be done? Generally speaking, both lovers are very aware of each other's faults and weaknesses.In normal times, each other takes into account each other's face and does not point it out easily.But once a quarrel occurs, when you are at a disadvantage and you are at a disadvantage, you may point the finger at the other party's shortcomings, sarcasm and expose the shortcomings, in order to subdue the other party.There is a saying that "don't hit someone in the face, and don't expose your shortcomings when you scold someone." People hate maliciously revealing their shortcomings. Doing so will only irritate the other party, expand the conflict, and hurt the relationship between the two.

Arguing about something, just talk about it, don't "turn over the old score" and use old sesame seeds and rotten millet as evidence.Doing so will not help resolve the current conflict, but it will also easily complicate the problem, entangle new and old accounts, and deepen resentment.When lovers quarrel, it is best to discuss the matter as it is, and not talk about it before and after. This way of dealing with the problem can easily resolve the conflict between the two. When two people are arguing, you may speak loudly and say some extreme words, but you must not use dirty words.Some women usually speak with dirty words and indecent catchphrases, and they may say them casually during arguments.However, at this time, your boyfriend may no longer regard it as your mantra, but as a curse. The consequences of this are very bad.

When quarreling, it is inevitable to disagree. Both feel that the truth is on their side, and the other party is messing around, and often uses evaluative language to belittle the other party.For example: "You are so selfish!" "You are hopeless!" "Talking to you is like playing the piano!" "You are so ignorant and unreasonable!" "You are a scoundrel!" If you don't, it will easily hurt his self-esteem. In order to maintain his dignity, he will argue with you to the end.Boyfriend is not your enemy, you should quarrel with your boyfriend about the matter and not against the person.If you attack your boyfriend personally, you may relieve your hatred, but it will further expose your lack of self-cultivation, and make your boyfriend intolerable to you.

The key to using cold to hot is that you quarrel and I don't listen.When your boyfriend is agitated and unable to control himself, let him get angry, let him fly into a rage, and ignore him. "One slap can't make a sound." When a person quarrels, he can't quarrel. After he calms down, he can easily accept it. In fact, boys are also angry and unhappy.Generally, after lovers quarrel, girls hope that boys will take the initiative to admit their mistakes. Once or twice is fine. Once there are too many times, the man will feel that the woman is too ignorant, and the lady has too much temper and is not easy to get along with.Once such a feeling arises, the possibility of the continued development of the relationship between the two parties is not great.At this time, the girl might as well put down her airs, withdraw voluntarily, and send a few "sweet words" to her boyfriend. By doing so, not only will he immediately lose his anger, but he will also feel that you are sensible and understanding.

When you fight, you should know when to stop.If the quarrel reaches a certain time and to a certain extent, and you find that the problem cannot be solved if this continues, then you should brake in time and remind the other party to call a truce.This is not to give in or surrender, but to express calmness and reason.For example, you can say: "Let's pause! Such arguing won't solve the problem, everyone, calm down and talk about it later." Or say: "Okay, I won't argue with you now!" Wait until your boyfriend calms down.Because when emotions are high, it is simply difficult to communicate.

Lovers who know how to quarrel can be called "smart lovers".As long as the quarrel between lovers is properly controlled, the relationship will not be hurt. "After the rain, the sky will clear", and the two will reconcile as before. When you have a conflict with your boyfriend and there is a cold war situation, you have to learn to break the silence and eliminate the cold war, so as to shake hands and make peace and get back together.Generally speaking, there are several ways to break the silence and eliminate the cold war: one is blunt reconciliation, if your conflicts are not serious, but occasionally friction occurs, you can directly greet each other and break the silence; the other is to admit your mistakes and seek peace, If you realize that the main responsibility for the conflict lies with you, you should take the initiative to admit your mistakes to the other party and ask for forgiveness. Even if the fault is not on your side, you can take the initiative to take responsibility, so that your boyfriend will cherish you even more.