Chapter 17 Open your heart and stay away from loneliness

Five years ago, my friend's husband passed away.Since then, my friend, like millions of Americans, has contracted a disease called loneliness. A month after her husband died, she asked me one night, "What should I do? Where should I live? Will I still be happy?" I explained to her that it is a misfortune in life for a woman to lose her husband in her fifties.Now that my husband is dead and I am worried that I will not be happy, I should move on from my sorrow and worry while I am still able to move freely.I told her that she should re-plan her new life and re-find her own happiness on the basis of the past.

She said sadly, "No, I believe I will never be happy again. I am old, my children are married, and no one wants me anymore." The poor woman suffered a double blow: on the one hand, she was too inferior to face reality, and on the other hand, she knew nothing about how to fight the disease. Year after year, with no sign of getting better, she kept feeling sorry for herself.Later, she decided to let the children give her happiness, so she moved to a daughter's house. That experience was horrifying for anyone, and when the conflict was at its worst, she actually abused others without any scruples.As a result, the daughter froze with her.She moved again to her son's house, with the same result.

Later, she moved into an apartment of her own, but still not.One afternoon, she cried and told me that her family was annoying her. For a long time, she didn't let herself be happy, and she was expecting others to sympathize with her and pity her.She is a typical example of a selfish tragic character.Even at sixty-one, emotionally, she was still a child. What many lonely people don't understand is that friendship doesn't come like a beautifully wrapped gift.Wanting to be welcomed by others is not as easy as receiving an invitation letter. You have to work hard on your own to win the favor of others.Others will not give you love, friendship, and let you play happily like fulfilling a contract.

Let's face this harsh reality.When the spouse dies, there is no legal restriction on the living person that the person who remains cannot pursue happiness.They must understand that they have to rely on themselves to strive for their own happiness, rather than waiting for other people's handouts or relief.You have to work your way up to be liked and wanted by others. One can imagine such a scene: a cruise ship skims over the azure Mediterranean sea.The boat is full of people on vacation, including sweet couples and single young people.Among this group of happy tourists, there is a cheerful and smiling old lady in her sixties who is traveling alone.

In the journey of life, she grasped the copper ring of happiness tightly again in this way.Her husband also passed away, as sad as my friend.However, after waking up one morning and thinking about it, she decided to get rid of her sad emotions and embark on a new journey. Her husband has always been her favorite and the whole of her life.But now, everything is over.She loves to paint, she loves watercolors, and she immerses herself in the pursuit of this art.What used to be a small hobby has now become an important part of life.Not only did watercolors get her through those long, unbearable nights, but it finally paid off, giving her the courage to live independently.

For a while, she found it difficult to get along with others.For a long time, her husband has been her faithful companion and her strength.She is neither beautiful nor rich. In those days full of hesitation and despair, she asked herself what to do to let others accept herself, and she longed for friendship. She understood the answer, she should make others like herself; she should take the initiative to go out, instead of passively waiting for others to come to her door. She wiped away the tears and let a smile spread across her face.She paints hard, calls old friends, and tries to live life with optimism.She laughed happily, making unreasonable jokes with others.Before long, before she herself noticed, she was a popular guest at parties.The community also invited her to hold an art exhibition.

Time passed, and that evening on a Mediterranean cruise, she was the most popular guest on board.She is very friendly to everyone, but she never flatters others, and she does not get involved in any disputes. She threw one of the happiest onboard parties in her cabin the night before the cruise ship docked.In a humble way, she thanked people for all the invitations they had given her on the trip. Since then, the woman has often participated in similar tourism activities.She deeply understands that only she walks into life and dedicates herself.to be welcomed by people.No matter where she is, she can create a harmonious atmosphere and make people want to get close to her.

Having an unfortunate encounter is not the end of the world.Sometimes it also prompts us to make an effort to change ourselves, which is necessary to improve our situation. The journey of life is not always smooth, and the journey of life always implies luck and misfortune, light and darkness. There is only one way we can face misfortune, and that is: accept it.When our lives are shattered by misfortune, we can only allow time to heal our wounds.In the immediate aftermath of misfortune, it seems that the whole world stops functioning, and our misery seems to be a permanent part of our lives.But we have to live no matter what, and we have to go on fulfilling our life's mission.And once we have fulfilled our mission satisfactorily, the pain will gradually lessen.There comes a time when we can be happy again and feel protected, not hurt.Time is our best friend in overcoming misfortune. We must open our hearts and accept the inevitable fate so that we will not struggle hard in the abyss of pain.