Chapter 16 The charm of self-confidence is eternal

Confidence can make a mediocre face radiant, on the contrary, if a woman lacks self-confidence, even a beautiful face will make people feel lacklustre.Men like confident women, and confident women are more attractive to men.A woman's attractiveness to a man has more to do with the confidence exuded in her gestures and expressions than with a sexy body and stunning looks. Men appreciate a confident woman, because she makes him feel that she is responsible for her actions, which makes him feel safe and can continue to associate with her at ease.Women who are not confident are always afraid of losing a man, worrying about losing love, they want to hold on to a man 24 hours a day, but what they don't know is that men generally don't like to be clinged to all day long.Confident women will give men freedom. They are sure of their charm and know that men cannot escape their palms.

Once, a friend of mine who has been married for 35 years said to me: "My husband has never seen me without makeup. Every day, I set the alarm clock for 4 o'clock in the morning, so that when When he opened his eyes, I was already dressed." In life, there are indeed many women who have unrealistic subjective expectations about their appearance, weight, hair, skin and appearance.I think women should give up this fantasy?You must know that people are the most beautiful only when they are most confident. This truth is well known, but it is often ignored.Of course, this does not mean that we think we are beautiful even when we are sloppy.

However, many women do not understand what self-confidence is. From the beginning to the present, they have always believed that coquettishness and arrogance are caused by self-confidence.Some women even think that self-confidence is just a milder synonym for "domineering".For too long, they've grown up with a simple attitude: "I don't want to take risks, I'm afraid to take risks" "Let someone else be the leader, I'll be a great follower" "Women are too tough to find husbands of" and so on.These thoughts make them slow in action and their personality becomes hesitant.Because they seldom express themselves confidently, they often leave others with the image of a "silly girl" who is incompetent and not good at thinking.

In fact, true confidence can be accompanied by elegance, humility and kindness, and any woman can be confident and attractive.It can be said that an attractive woman must also be very confident. Confidence means knowing where you stand and being good at expressing your stand. For example, if you say to her, "If you would have told me in advance that you would be late, I wouldn't have to rush here so much." Generally speaking, when that kind of person hears such words, her first reaction is to refute you.Because she can find many reasonable excuses for her lateness: for example, many "should" things are bothering her. She is doing what she should be doing and should not be criticized.So, even though your opinion is perfectly sound, just using the word "you" puts her in an instant state of self-protection.If you don't want to argue with her, the most direct and easy way is to replace the second-person "you" with the first-person "I", so that all embarrassing confrontations can be eliminated.For example, you can change the sentence just now to: "If I knew it earlier, I wouldn't have used it so early. I still have time to go to the dry cleaner to get my suit out." No need to say more, and you don't need to accuse her directly. Make it clear to her that you feel like you've wasted your time.At the same time, doing so would not make her want to defend herself as strongly as she had heard the previous statement.

You can use a little humor to deal with situations where people put you down.If you're with someone discussing a budget report and at some point you don't agree with her and she says arrogantly, "You don't understand that," you can laugh and say, "That's right. , In fact, there are many things we don't understand." You indirectly reminded her in this humorous way that her attitude is too arrogant.This answer is very clever, and she will definitely remember it firmly.Of course, there are also some confident women who will directly tell each other how they feel: "You were too arrogant just now."

If you feel awkward or someone is trying to take advantage of you, don't put your feelings aside, talk about how you feel.However, instead of expressing your feelings right away, you can think about it first, and then state it.If someone asks you in an obviously questioning or contemptuous tone, "Why don't you talk?" Instead of expressing your feelings impulsively, you can say, "I was thinking about what you just said, and I don't think the plan is Makes sense because I'll be doing most of the work." You don't need to apologize for speaking out; after all, you have the right to express your opinion.

Of course, true self-confidence doesn't build up quickly.When women who lack confidence begin to act confidently, perhaps, they find themselves struggling with old, insecure ways of behaving that they learned long ago.When they encounter some occasions that require them to express themselves clearly, their negative imagination will make their actions encounter great obstacles.They often think: "In this situation, if I need to express myself confidently, what should I do if I say the wrong thing? Others will think that I am stupid and not feminine at all, that would be too bad. I won't allow that to happen." The thought of such a catastrophic ending in a woman who lacks self-confidence will logically convince herself not to be too self-confident.Therefore, women should completely abandon those thoughts and attitudes that hinder their self-confidence, and take the initiative to turn these attitudes into positive attitudes, so as to really help themselves stimulate positive behaviors.If you do this before everything you do, it will be easier for you to move towards boldness and self-confidence.

Try to imagine that your self-confidence can be cultivated by positive and confident actions. If you always focus on your failure performance, you can imagine some scenes in which you performed successfully.As you imagine yourself becoming more confident, your self-image will change.The more you think of yourself as a assertive and confident woman, the more likely you are to be a truly assertive woman.