Chapter 15 Charm comes from inner happiness

Where does a woman's happiness come from?Happiness is actually very simple.A warm family makes a woman happy, a challenging job makes a woman happy, she feels happiness in what she does, and she appreciates happiness in her perception of life. Charm comes from inner happiness, when people are happy, hell is also heaven.The beauty of a woman lies in: she has a unique charm. There was a young girl named Jennifer who dreamed of taking a vacation to Hawaii.She always said, "I wish I could go to Hawaii, even for a few days." Finally, she and her husband decided to go to Hawaii.She yelled with joy and couldn't wait to get to Hawaii. "In three weeks we'll be going to Hawaii!" "In a week I'll be lying on that beach with a drink!" …

A few weeks later, she came back from vacation, but she was very depressed: "It has always been my dream to go to Hawaii for vacation. I spent a lot of money for it. Logically, I should be very happy, but in fact I Not happy at all. The weather in Hawaii is very hot, and he has no energy all day long. I don’t want to just stay in the hotel and lie next to him on the deck chair. I don’t feel loved at all, I just feel miserable. I feel like I’m going crazy, I wish I’d ​​never been there. What’s wrong?” Probably many people have had a similar experience.Why did Jennifer's long-planned seaside vacation turn out not to be as happy as she imagined?what is going on actually?Is the water in Hawaii not blue?Aren't palm trees beautiful?Or is the food in a high-end restaurant unpalatable?

In fact, it has nothing to do with the external environment, it is just because the external environment does not have enough power to calm our inner anxiety!Therefore, even if you are in the most beautiful place in the world at this time, we will not be in the mood to see those beautiful scenery, nor will we be happy.On the contrary, if we are happy, we will feel like we are in heaven even in the worst place. Therefore, external things cannot make us happy, happiness comes from our heart.In other words, whether a person is happy does not depend on the environment she is in, but is largely determined by his state of mind.

But most of us don't understand such a simple truth.Many people have been looking for happiness since the day they were born, pinning their happiness on what happened outside, don't you believe it?Check it out: "I want to be fed...I want to be held...I want to play with that toy...I don't want to sleep, I want to watch TV...I want to have a relationship with that boy...I I want to go to a prestigious university...I want to find a good job...I think we can get married...I want a house..." In different times, we are full of expectations for good things, we believe that if these things Be real and we'll be happy.But what if those expectations don't come true?

We feel very sad when we don't get what we have longed for.We get disappointed, angry, anxious, restless, confused, and just plain unhappy.We are full of expectations for life and love, and then let ourselves live in expectations, and the degree of satisfaction of expectations will determine whether we are happy or not. As a result, every day we repeat this psychological process countless times: expectation-disappointment-sadness!Take a look at how our day goes! In the morning, you woke up from the loud sound of the alarm clock, rubbed your sleepy eyes, and looked at the weather outside the window: "It's broken, it's raining, and the road must be very congested." Your first expectation of good weather has failed , you start to feel a little unhappy.

After getting up, you walk slowly to the kitchen to make breakfast.At this time, you find that you did not turn on the switch of the automatic coffee machine last night. As a result, there is no hot coffee in the morning.The second thing you expected falls through too, and you sigh. You go to the shower, get dressed, and suddenly the pants don't fit right: "Oh my god, I'm fat again!" Reality crushes your hopes once again, and you start to feel bad. You come to the unit and greet your colleagues enthusiastically: "Good morning." "Good morning." The colleague muttered blankly as if trying to perfunctory you.Immediately you lose interest and you wonder what the hell is wrong.

See, the day has just started, and you have so many reasons to be unhappy, so you start to lose your cheerfulness and passion.If things go on like this, the original enthusiastic and sunny face is replaced by a gloomy "bitter melon face", and slowly, the charm will leave you.In fact, whether a woman is attractive or not depends on her cheerful personality and sunshine in her heart, not on her appearance. Why let the external environment determine your happiness?This only fosters our dependence, allowing others to determine our happiness.The world is impermanent, no matter how hard we try, we have no ability to control the people and things around us.We cannot prevent some objective things from happening, such as rain, and we have no right to ask others to speak and act as we hope.Some people always hope to create an ideal environment and do their best to make everything that happens in their lives peaceful and harmonious.In fact, it's like looking for peace in a rough ocean, it's all futile.

It can be seen that whenever we feel sad in life, we might as well ask ourselves: "Who made you so unhappy?" Of course, if you are honest enough, you will definitely give this answer: " It’s me.” Then, get yourself back in the right direction, and remind yourself to look at your surroundings happily, in fact, happiness comes from your heart.So, who else can take away your happiness?