Chapter 13 be the master of your emotions

My first secretary, Ms. Lisa, is a very smart little girl with strong working ability.However, Lisa has a very big shortcoming, that is, she is too careless in her work.Once, when I checked the documents she typed, I found that she had accidentally mistaken a very important document again.I have reminded her of this problem many times, so I severely criticized her.Later, when I calmed down, I also felt that my actions were inappropriate, so I apologized to Lisa again. Originally, I thought that this incident would pass soon, but it was not the case, and Lisa has been devastated ever since.Since then, her work has frequently made mistakes.Not only that, I also found that she was often absent-minded even when she was working, and sometimes I couldn't even hear her calling a few times.I don't know what happened to Lisa, is it because I criticized her?No, I don't think it should be, because being criticized by others is also a very common thing, and it shouldn't have such a big impact on her.

A few days later, Lisa's parents called me and asked if anything had happened to Lisa.I briefly described Lisa's work and asked how they knew about it.Lisa's parents said that Lisa has recently become taciturn, and she loses her temper very easily, and often quarrels with her parents because of a trivial matter.I seemed to understand why, so after hanging up the phone, I called Lisa to the office. I asked Lisa, "Is there anything I can do to help you? I know you've been in a bad mood lately! First of all, I apologize again for my behavior that day, because my behavior was controlled by emotions. I'm so sorry!"

Lisa said to me: "No, Mr. Carnegie, this has nothing to do with you! Even if you don't come to me today, I am planning to resign from you. In fact, since you criticized me that time, I have lost my confidence in myself." Now, I can't concentrate on my work at all because I am always worried about making mistakes. But I find that the more I worry, the more mistakes I make. Not only that, when I go home every day, I don't want to talk to my parents too much, and I was very irritable and often quarreled with my parents. I'm sorry, Mr. Carnegie, I really can't go on, so I decided to resign."

To be honest, I really wanted to help Lisa, but I couldn't think of a good way.Helpless, I had no choice but to agree to her request. Now it seems that Lisa's behavior is a typical emotional loss.Strictly speaking, emotion is just a kind of mental activity, but in fact, it is closely related to a person's study, work, life and other aspects.If a person's mood is positive, optimistic, and uplifting, then it is undoubtedly beneficial to his physical and mental health, intellectual development, and personal performance.Conversely, if a person's emotions are negative, pessimistic, and not enterprising, then this will undoubtedly affect his physical and mental health, hindering the development of his intelligence and the normal level of performance.

Ladies, do you sometimes feel like Lisa?In fact, this is true, because after all, women are the most emotional creatures, and most of the ladies cannot control their emotions, and they are all emotional slaves.Many women are dragged down by their own emotions, and it seems that all the troubles, depression, loss, depression and pain have come to themselves.Their lives were no longer happy, and they began to complain about this unfair world.They prayed to God every day, hoping that she would bring happiness to herself one day earlier. In fact, many women know the importance of controlling their emotions, but they often fail when they encounter specific problems.They will say, "I know the importance of controlling my emotions and I dream of being the master of my emotions. But controlling my emotions is too difficult." Obviously, they are saying to others: "I can't do it." , I really can't control my emotions."

Therefore, if women want to control their emotions and become the masters of their emotions, they must first let themselves have such a belief: I believe that I can definitely get rid of the control of emotions, and I will try anyway.Only in this way can the initiative of the ladies be activated, so as to truly overcome the emotions. Aristotle said: "Everyone will be angry, it is really easy, but it is not easy to be angry at the right time and place, and in the right way to the right object." So it is not easy to be emotional. Master, you must first be aware of your own emotions, and at the same time be able to perceive the emotions of others, and then be able to manage your own emotions, especially to face life with a fresh mood.

In fact, suffering and happiness are accompanied by each other. Finding happiness in suffering is a high-grade state of life.Happiness belongs to all of us, and it has no substantial relationship with the amount of material wealth; Happiness is a feeling, and only when you feel it, you can enjoy it, which means that you can only be happy if you are content; Happiness is a kind of cultivation, a kind of Atmosphere, as long as you have a tolerant heart towards others, as long as you have an appreciation for life, you will perceive happiness and enjoy happiness. Someone asked a Tibetan eminent monk how to deal with anger, and he replied: "Don't suppress it, but you can't act impulsively." It can be seen that if a person vents his anger immediately when something happens, it will prolong the anger. It is better to cool down for a while. Time, let the mood calm down first, and then adopt a more constructive method to solve the problem.It can be seen that one of the ways to calm the anger is to walk into a place where the anger will not be aroused again, so that the agitated physiological state gradually cools down.When you're feeling really angry or frustrated, consider going out for a nice meal with your family, or taking a walk in the park alone to relax.In short, put your troubles behind for the time being, and start again when your mood improves.

Whenever you are very angry, don't suppress it too much, but express your inner anger in a less hurtful way. You must have a certain amount of "self-control" and properly control your emotions.This is not emotional repression, but avoiding all excessive emotional reactions. Reason-emotional therapy advocates that a person's ideas and beliefs will dominate his emotions.Once bad or unreasonable beliefs arise, emotions will fluctuate greatly.Therefore, if you always maintain good or kind ideas in your life, your emotions will be more stable.For example, when you lose love, you feel very depressed and sad, and feel that "the other party left me because I am useless and disgusting", if you are too immersed in this kind of thinking, you must be extremely sad and disappointed, and you may even be unable to extricate yourself. At this time, you can change your thinking. If you think that the two parties are inappropriate, rather than that you are in poor condition and no one likes you, your mood will improve and you will be able to cheer up again.