Chapter 9 It's important to save other people's face

When getting along with others, the first thing to do is to respect each other, so that the other party has a sense of self-esteem and self-respect, which plays a vital role in whether we can get along with others happily and harmoniously.In fact, other people's sense of self-esteem and self-respect is what we usually call "face".Therefore, I have to emphasize this point again to the ladies here, it is very important to save other people's face. However, I have to regret to say that this doesn't seem to catch the attention of most ladies.Ladies are more willing to directly point out the mistakes of others, and use a method of trampling on other people's emotions and stabbing others' self-esteem to satisfy their own vanity and self-esteem.Many women have little regard for other people's face. They prefer to be critical, put on airs, or criticize their children or employees in front of others, rather than think seriously for a few minutes and say a few words of concern for them.In fact, if we can put ourselves in other people's shoes and show concern for them from the bottom of our hearts, the situation will be less embarrassing.

A few years ago, the famous General Electric Company had a very difficult problem because they didn't know how to deal with George Schlemm, the eccentric and irascible planning director.The GM directors had to admit that George Schlemm was a super genius in the electrical department. For him, nothing is impossible.The directors regretted very much that they had transferred George to the planning department because he was completely incompetent for his job here.Although someone offered to tell George directly about the decision to switch positions, the directors of the company were not willing to hurt his self-esteem because he was a rare talent after all, not to mention that this genius was also a person with very strong self-esteem.In the end, the directors took a rather tactful approach.They gave George a new title that had never been seen before in the company—consulting engineer.In fact, the nature of the so-called consulting engineer's work was exactly the same as that of George's previous work in the electrical department.However, George was very satisfied with the company's arrangement and did not complain to the higher authorities.At this point, the company's senior leaders were very happy, because they were glad that they had chosen to save George's face, otherwise this sensitive big-name star would definitely bring the company upside down.

It can be seen that sometimes criticizing or punishing others does not have to be straightforward, and we can achieve our goals tactfully and indirectly.If you can point out other people's mistakes while preserving their self-esteem, maybe they will be more receptive to your opinion. Something like firing an employee is not an easy thing to do.My friend Sophie once told me about her experience: "The profession of accountants is seasonal, because our business is like this, I can't hire those capable accountants without business." Sophie said helplessly, "Seriously, Dell! You know what? It's not very fun to fire someone, in fact I know it's even more so to be fired by someone else. But I have no other choice, I have to do it to a lot of people after the income tax filing craze Sorry. Actually, none of us want to face this reality. There is a joke in our business: No one wants to turn an axe. Yes, no one wants to fire anyone. However, everyone in our business I know that I will face it sooner or later, and I can’t hide it. Therefore, everyone seems to have become insensitive, and they just hope that this pain can be driven away one day earlier. Most of the time, people will use this way Talk: 'You know, the peak season is over now, so we don't need to continue to hire you. Don't worry, when the peak season comes again, we will continue to employ you, so you have to temporarily lose your job.' This is for others It's cruel to say, and often those people won't come back to work for you. So, I never say that to people."

I was very interested in what Sophie said, and asked, "Then how did you tell those accountants?" Sophie said proudly: "I never do such stupid things that hurt people's self-esteem. When I have to fire someone, I always say politely: 'Mr. , I am also very satisfied. I remember one time when you went to New York and the work there was so boring, but you managed it very well. I can't imagine that you didn't make a mistake. I hope you I know that you are the pride of our company, we have no doubts about your ability, I hope you will always support us, and of course we will always support you.'”

"And then?" I asked puzzled.Sophie smiled and said: "Then I settled the bill for him and let him go. In fact, as an accountant, everyone knows very well that by this time they will definitely face unemployment. They are facing When things happen, what I want more is a dignity. I gave those accountants dignity, and they are very happy to come back to us again to help me continue to work." I think the ladies have learned the importance of saving other people's face.Yes, it will often bring you unexpected gains, and it will also make your interpersonal relationship harmonious, natural and harmonious.

Some ladies might think I'm scaremongering, we don't save face, we can't ruin a person by saying anyway.In fact, I don't mean to exaggerate on purpose, because if you intentionally hurt someone's self-esteem, it is really possible to make him never look back. Ladies have to keep this in mind, even if someone else made a mistake and we were right, we still have to save their face.Because otherwise, we risk destroying the person.