Chapter 8 Gently open your mouth and praise

When I was a kid living in rural Missouri, I remember my father having a fine-blooded white cow and several large red pigs of a fine breed.Once, my father took pigs and cows to a livestock exhibition in the Midwest of the United States. Fortunately, our white cow and those big red pigs won the grand prize, and my father also won the grand prize blue ribbon. I remember very clearly that my father was very happy at that time.He pinned the blue ribbon to a soft white cloth, and whenever anyone came to the house he always showed it off. In fact, those real champions—cows and pigs don’t care about that blue ribbon, but my father cherishes it very much, because this blue ribbon brought him glory and praise from others, and it also gave him the " a sense of importance”.

Lincoln once said, "Everybody likes to be praised."William James once said that "the most ardent need in human nature is to be affirmed by others." It can be seen that each of us, including men and women, wants to be valued by others.Especially men, they hope to attract women's attention, and hope to get this feeling of "hope is important" from women.As a woman, if you want to get along very well with others, if you want to be a popular person, then the first thing you have to do is to satisfy their psychology and sincerely appreciate them. A famous entrepreneur said: "The best way to push people to develop their own abilities to the limit is to praise and encourage... What I like is to praise others sincerely and generously." Female friends, if you sincerely want to To build a good relationship with the people around you, don't just think about your own achievements and achievements. Others don't care about these. Instead, you need to discover the strengths, strengths, and achievements of others. , Generously to praise.

Moreover, every man hopes to be praised by women, because they believe that women's praise is a symbol of his personal charm, showing his ability to conquer the world, and thus will produce a very strong sense of life satisfaction.The look, voice and all kinds of charming performances that women show when they praise men will undoubtedly increase the charm of women, making her more lovely and charming, which will make men feel great psychological pleasure , more willing to accept each other's compliments. Compared with men, mutual compliments between women can better satisfy a certain inner desire of the other party.When a woman compliments another on how beautiful her dress is, she first agrees with it and finds common hobbies and interests that, once touched, go on like old friends.Compliments from the same sex often make the other party sound very cordial and true, and it is a heartfelt appreciation, which will make the other party feel like a "confidant", thus enhancing mutual friendship and shortening the distance of communication.

It can be seen that praise is not only a kind of strength, but also a kind of skill and wisdom.From the perspective of social psychology, praise is also an effective art of communication, which can effectively shorten the psychological distance between people.Of course, women should also pay attention to the method when they praise others. If the method is not appropriate, not only will the intended purpose not be achieved, but it will arouse the resentment of others. I hope ladies never forget that in the process of human interaction we are dealing with people, people who crave to be admired.It should be said that giving joy to others is the most reasonable and reasonable virtue of human beings.Because hurting people neither changes them nor inspires them.So, if you want to have a happy mood every day, then sincerely say what others want to hear!

Appropriate timing and wording can make compliments more effective.It is human nature to love to hear compliments, and vanity is the weakness of human nature.When you hear the flattery and praise of the other party at an inappropriate time, you will feel a great sense of superiority and satisfaction in your heart, and naturally you will happily listen to the other party's suggestions and opinions. Everyone loves to hear compliments. If the compliments you say to others are just right for the person, he will be very happy and have a good impression of you.For example, young people should praise his (her) creativity and enterprising spirit, and old people should praise his (her) health and experience.For an official, if you say that he makes money well and makes money every day, you will be more angry than if you say that he takes bribes; you should say that he is promoted every step of the way, and he is happy.For a businessman, if you praise him for his outstanding character and integrity, he will definitely say that you are sick; if you say that he has outstanding talents, flexible wrists, good ways of making money, and good fortune, he must be happy in his heart.

Direct praise is the most common and commonly used way of praise in daily life. It does not go through an intermediary, expresses one's heart directly, and expresses one's praise directly to the other party.In contrast, indirect praise is more skillful.White-collar women can reflect the meaning of admiration for a person by praising people, things or things that are closely related to him.For example: In order to praise a woman, you can praise her daughter for being beautiful, smart, and promising, or praise her husband for being capable and capable, which can also achieve the purpose of indirect praise.To praise a person indirectly, you can not express your praise and affirmation directly to him, but tell others, and pass your praise to his ears through other people's mouths.This kind of praise is very effective in resolving conflicts.

Excessive exaggeration can do all the harm to the praiseee.Russian fable writer and playwright Krylov said: "Excessive praise is harmful to the mind." Gorky also believed: "Excessive praise of a person will eventually destroy him." Facts are exaggerated, people's grades of seven points are said to be ten, people's original simple ideas are elevated to an idealized state, and the evaluation is inaccurate, which can only produce negative effects. White-collar women must pay attention to their wording when praising or complimenting others, so as not to embarrass the person being praised.When we enumerate the strengths or achievements of the other party, don't mention those insignificant content, such as when introducing your salesperson to the customer, saying that he is "very kind" or "disciplined" and other things that have nothing to do with sales work.We should not imply the other party's shortcomings in our compliments, such as a blunt sentence: "Great, after repeated failures, you finally succeeded once!" Do not speak nonsense.

Praise must not only conform to the immediate reality, but also be far-sighted, have a certain degree of foresight and foresight, elevate the height of your praise, and stand the test of scrutiny and time.Be cautious when praising something before it is finally done.It should be noted that problems often appear at the last moment, and it is not accidental that "success falls short".For example, you just praised him a few words, but he just didn't give you up. It's really "a compliment, let's stop".Therefore, praise must be farsighted.