Chapter 27 Gentle reminder to let the other party know their mistakes

Directly blaming others will only invite strong resistance from the other party, but using tactful reminders to make the other party notice the mistake will be welcomed. One day at noon, Charles Scoble passed by one of his steel works.He saw several workers smoking.Coincidentally, they had a sign saying "No Smoking" over their heads.Scooper wouldn't be that stupid if he didn't immediately point to the sign telling them not to smoke.He walked up to the men, gave each of them a cigar, and said, "Guys, I'd be very grateful if you would go outside and smoke these." They understood right away that they had violated discipline, but Scott Instead of criticizing them, Bo gave each of them a small gift, which made the workers respect him more and be more self-conscious.

John Wanamaker also used this trick.Wanamaker visits his big mall in Philadelphia every day.One day he found a customer in front of the counter waiting to buy something, but no salesperson paid attention to her, while the salespersons gathered at the other end of the counter, chatting and laughing.Wanamaker didn't say anything, he went inside the counter, greeted the woman customer, asked the salesperson to help pack the goods, and then left. Officials are often criticized for not hosting people, yes, they are busy, but sometimes it is because their aides stop them, and aides don't want to tire their superiors.Carl Langford was mayor of Orlando for many years.He often said to his subordinates not to prevent people from coming to see him.He announced an "open door policy," but visiting citizens were stopped outside his office by his secretary and subordinates.

Later, the mayor thought of a way.He had the door of the office removed, and his subordinates knew that it could no longer be blocked.In this way, the mayor really implemented the "open door policy". If you want to change someone without making him angry, you only need to change a word, and the effect will be different. Most people use the word "but" after praising others and turning to criticism.For example, to change the attitude of a child who is not concentrating on reading, we often say something like: "John, we are very proud of you, you made progress this semester," but "if you work a little more on algebra , even better."

John felt fine until he heard the "but."But as soon as "but" appeared, he immediately doubted the credibility of this approval.He began to feel that this was really a criticism, and he resented it.Our wish to change him cannot be fulfilled. What if I replace "but" with "and"?That's much better.Let's try: "John, we're so proud of you that you've made progress this semester,' and 'it would be even better if you worked on your algebra a little more.'" This time, John will happily accept the compliment because he feels the compliment and encouragement, not criticism.He will happily do as we wish.

For those who are very sensitive, clever suggestions to correct their mistakes will have wonderful results.Here's what Maggie Jack from Rhode Island told our class about how she got a bunch of lazy builders to build her house and clean it up at the same time. In the first few days, when Mrs. Jack came home from get off work, she always saw sawdust all over the yard.She didn't say anything about the workers, because they did a good job.So after the workers left, she and the children picked up the broken wood in the yard and put them neatly in the corner of the house.The next morning, she said to the foreman: "I like the neat appearance last night, and it will not offend the neighbors."The foreman also comes to check every day.

The biggest difference between reservists and regular army trainers is the hairstyles of soldiers. Reservists think they are ordinary people, so they are very resistant to cutting their hair short. Harley was the Master Chief of the 542nd Division of the U.S. Army. When he trained a group of reserve officers, he wanted to solve this hairstyle problem. As he did in the regular army, he would use mandatory orders.But now, he doesn't want to do that. He said to them: "Gentlemen, you are all leaders. You will achieve the best results if you lead by example. You must set an example for those who follow you. You should know the army's discipline regarding hairdos. , although my current hair is much shorter than many people, I still want to get a haircut today. Can you look in the mirror and see if you meet the requirements of the role model? I think you will realize it, and I will give you a haircut at the barber department in the camp time."

As a result, many people looked in the mirror and got their hair cut.The next day, Keser said in his speech that some people in the team were already looking like leaders. On March 8, 1887, the great American pastor and speaker Henry Ward Beecher passed away. The Japanese commented on him: He changed the whole world.On that Sunday, Lyman Abbott accepted an invitation to address pastors grieving over Beecher's death.He wanted to do this speech so much that he was constantly revising the manuscript and polishing the words with the same meticulous care as Flaubert did.Then he read it to his wife.

The manuscript was written very wrongly.If his wife didn't know how to use it, she might say, "Lyman, that's terrible writing, it won't work. It sounds like an encyclopedia. It's so sleepy. Your years of ministry experience , should know how to do it better. For God's sake, why don't you talk like normal people? Why don't you act more naturally? If you really use this thing to give speeches, you will only be a laughing stock. " However, she didn't say that, she knew the consequences of saying that.So, she told Abbott, if this manuscript appeared in the North American Review magazine, it would be a great article.In other words, she praised the manuscript, but at the same time subtly implied that this manuscript is not suitable for speech.Lyman Abbott saw what she meant, and he threw away the flamboyant and impractical manuscript, which he later spoke without even taking notes.