Chapter 26 Enter from praise and gratitude

Under normal circumstances, we will be relatively comfortable when we first listen to others' praise of our strengths, and then listen to their criticism of our weaknesses. During Coolidge's presidency, a friend of mine was invited to the White House for a weekend.When he came to the president's personal office, the president was saying to his secretary, "You're wearing a nice dress this morning. You look very young and beautiful." President Coolidge is usually not very talkative, such a compliment surprised the girl, her face turned red because of it, and she didn't know what to do.Coolidge continued: "But don't get too excited. I praise you to make you feel better. From now on, I want you to pay more attention to your punctuation."

His approach may be a little too blunt, but he has a good grasp of human psychology.Under normal circumstances, we first listen to others' praise of our strengths, and then listen to their criticism of our weaknesses, so that we will be more comfortable. Before the beautician shaves the client, he will first lather the client's face with soap.McKinney used a similar approach when he ran for president in 1896.At that time, an important member of the Republican Party wrote a campaign speech. He thought it was well written, so he read it aloud in front of McKinney.That speech had some points that were okay, but was generally bad.Such a manuscript would only invite criticism in public, and McKinney didn't want to dampen his enthusiasm, but he had to be told it was no good.Let's see how he does it.

McKinney said to him, "Man, this is a wonderful and powerful piece of writing, better than anyone else's. Normally, it's a good fit. But here's something special, and here it's good." Is it useful? You did write it clearly and powerfully. But you must consider its impact from the perspective of the entire Republican Party. Go back now, think about my reminder, write another one, and get it Show me a sample." He did what McKinney wanted him to do, and McKinney changed it for him, and it was finalized.He later played a major role in the campaign. Below is a letter from President Lincoln that is second only to Lincoln's letter to Mrs. Spee expressing his sorrow for the loss of all five of her sons in the war.The letter may have only cost Lincoln 5 minutes, but it sold for $12,000 at a public auction in 1962, a lot of money at the time, and Lincoln didn't save that much in more than 50 years while he was alive.

Lincoln wrote this letter on April 26, 1863, during the darkest period of the Civil War.For 18 consecutive months, Lincoln's Union Army retreated steadily, with heavy casualties on the battlefield.The whole North panicked, many soldiers slipped away, and some Republican Congressmen also started to attack, trying to drive Lincoln out of the White House.Lincoln said at the time: "We are on the verge of collapse. It seems to me that even God is against us. I can't see any hope." It is under such circumstances that Lincoln wrote this letter. The reason why I put this letter in this book is because it shows us how Lincoln tried to change a restless general whose performance at that time was related to the fate of the country.

This was perhaps the harshest letter Lincoln wrote during his presidency.However, we can still see that he praises him first and then criticizes his major mistakes.Undoubtedly, the general's blunder was serious, but Lincoln didn't say that.Lincoln wrote with subtlety and tact: "There are some things in which I am rather dissatisfied with you." What a clever statement! Here is his letter to Major General Hooker: I've made you Commander of the Army of the Potomac.Of course, I had good reasons for this decision.However, I think it best to tell you that I am very dissatisfied with you in some matters.

I believe that you are a brave and skilled soldier, and of course I have a lot of admiration for you.And, I think, you are right to separate politics from military.You are confident, and if not indispensable, it is certainly a valuable quality. In some cases, the advantages of being ambitious outweigh the disadvantages.But it seems to me that the ambition you showed during your command of the army under General Burns, and your frequent opposition to him, is a very great fault to the Union and to a very meritorious Confederate general. I've heard, and I believe because the information is solid, that you said recently that both the military and the government need a strongman.Of course, it's not because of this reason, but because I didn't care about it, I made the appointment to you.

Only those leaders who have made great achievements can become strongmen.All I want now is victory on the battlefield, and I'm willing to risk the iron fist. You will have the support of the government to the best of its ability, as all commanders have in the past and will have in the future.I am very concerned about the ethos you have brought into the military: disapproval and mistrust of your superiors.And now that you may be facing the same karma, I will do everything in my power to help you stop it. When this kind of atmosphere prevails in the army, no matter who it is, even if Napoleon is resurrected again, he will not be able to command the army.Now you have to be careful not to be hasty, to move forward with a strong fighting spirit and a vigilant spirit that forgets to eat and sleep, and bring us back victory.

If you're not a Coolidge, McKinney, or Lincoln, you should be wondering if this applies to your day-to-day business.Let's take a look.Mr. Gao from the Walker Company in Philadelphia is an ordinary person like us.He was one of my students when I was lecturing in Philadelphia.At that time, he once said something like this: Walker Company hired a construction job and had to build a very large office building in Philadelphia before the specified date.From the beginning, everything went well, and the job was almost finished, when suddenly, the contractor who supplied the decorative copper products in the building said that he could not meet the deadline.This time it is troublesome, it is very likely that the work will not be completed, and there will be a large fine, all because of this guy.

Calling, arguing, and chatting are all useless.So Mr. Gao went to New York to find the supplier there. As soon as Mr. Gao walked into the office of the chairman of the company, he said to the chairman: "Did you know that in Brooklyn, you are the only one with this surname." The chairman was surprised and said: "Really, I don't know." Mr. Gao said: "After I got off the train this morning, I looked for your address in the phone book. In the Brooklyn phone book, you are the only person with this surname." "I never knew," said the chairman.He flipped through the phone book with great interest and said proudly: "Oh, this name is not common. About two hundred years ago, my ancestors immigrated to New York from the Netherlands..." He spent several minutes talking about his family and ancestors.After he finished speaking, Mr. Gao flattered his factory. Mr. Gao said that he had seen so many similar factories before, but they were far inferior to his factory.Mr. Gao said he had never seen such a clean and orderly copper factory.

The chairman said that he had spent half his life building this factory, and he was proud of it, and asked Mr. Gao if he wanted to go around the factory. During the visit, Mr. Gao flattered that the organizational system of his factory was sound, and talked about how his factory looked better than other competitors.Gao also praised an unusual-looking machine, which the chairman said he had invented.He took the trouble to introduce the operation methods of those machines and their good working efficiency to Mr. Gao.Later, he invited Mr. Gao to lunch.During this process, Mr. Gao did not mention the purpose of the visit at all.

After lunch, the chairman said: "Let's talk about the business now. Of course, I know why you are here. I didn't expect you to bring me so much happiness. Don't worry, what you want will be delivered on time. For this reason , I would rather delay other business." Before Mr. Gao asked for anything, he got what he wanted.The copper products were delivered on time, and the building was completed on time. In this case, if Mr. Gao is as noisy as most people, he will not get such a perfect result. Taurus Rublewski, a branch manager for a federal credit union in Fort Montmartre, New Jersey, told our training how she helped her employees become more productive. “Recently, we hired a girl as a trainee cashier. She was very good at dealing with customers, dealing with some special things, and she was accurate and efficient. But one day there was a problem with the checkout. "The chief cashier came to me and strongly demanded that she be fired: 'She's delayed everyone's work, she's too slow, I've taught her so many times, she still can't do it, she has to go. ' "The next day, I saw that she was handling the daily business quickly and accurately, and the customers were happy. But soon, I saw that she had a problem with the checkout. After get off work, I talked to her and she seemed very happy. Nervous, so I first praised her for being good at dealing with customers, and her usual work efficiency is also good. Then, I suggested that we review the procedure of balancing cash together. She understood my confidence in her and relaxed , under my guidance, she quickly became familiar with this business. Since then, she has never had any problems in this place again." Starting with praise is like a doctor giving anesthesia before pulling a patient's tooth.Anesthesia can reduce pain and make it easier for patients to accept.