Chapter 22 remember someone's name

Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious, and most important ways to gain favor is to remember someone's name and feel noticed and respected—but how many of us can do that? In 1898, a tragedy occurred in Stonecrane, New York, and a child died.On this special day, friends from the neighborhood are getting ready to attend the funeral.A man named Jim Farley went to the stable to lead his horse.The wind was biting cold, the ground was covered with snow, and the horse hadn't exercised for several days, so when it was pulled to the edge of the water tank, it suddenly became excited, and kicked its hooves high into the air, As a result, Jim Farley was kicked to death.So that week, there were two funerals in this small town.

When Jim Farley died, he left behind his wife, three children, and several hundred dollars in insurance.His oldest son, Jim Jr., was only 10 years old at the time.In order to help his mother, little Jim went to work in a brick factory.His job is to transport the sand, then pour the sand into the brick moulds, turn the finished bricks around, and dry them in the sun.This little Jim had never had the opportunity of any education, but he had a gift of getting people to like him very quickly, because of his naturally pleasant Irish nature.So when he later embarked on an official career, as the years went by, he developed an amazing ability to remember people's names.

He never went to middle school, but before he was 46 years old, four universities had awarded him honorary degrees; he also became the chairman of the Democratic National Committee and became the head of the US Postal Service. I once visited Jim Farley Jr. and asked him what was his secret to success."Work hard," he said. I said, "Don't be kidding me." He then asked me what I thought was the key to his success.I replied, "I know you can name 10,000 people." "No, no. You're wrong," he said. "I can name 50,000 people." Don't underestimate this. It is this ability that made Jim Farley, Jr. help Franklin D. Roosevelt get into the White House and become the President of the United States.During the years Jim Farley, Jr. was selling products for a plaster company, and during his years as a Stone Point civil servant, he had developed his own system of remembering people's names.

At first, he took a very simple approach.Every time he met a new person, he asked him his full name, the size of his family, what he was doing, and his political views.He kept all these materials in his mind, and the second time he met that person, even a year later, he still managed to pat him on the shoulder and ask about his wife and children, and his Those flowers and plants behind the house.No wonder there are so many people who support him! In the months leading up to Roosevelt's presidential campaign, Jim Farley Jr. wrote hundreds of letters a day to people throughout the Western and Northwestern states.Then he traveled 12,000 miles in 19 days, covering 20 states, by horse-drawn carriage, train, car and canoe.Whenever he came to a town, he would have lunch or breakfast, drink tea or dinner with the people who came to meet him, and have a "heart-to-heart talk" with them.Then, he continued on to his next stop.

As soon as he got back east, he wrote to every town he visited, asking for a list of all the people he had talked to.Then he sorted out these lists, and the final list was innumerable and innumerable.Everyone on the list has received a private letter from Jim Farley Jr.The letters began with "Dear Bill" or "Dear Zo," and always ended with "Jim." Jim Farley Jr. discovered early in his life that ordinary people were always more interested in their own name than in all the other names in the world combined.Remembering a person's name and being able to call it out easily is a subtle and effective compliment to that person.But if you forget or misremember someone's name - you're at a considerable disadvantage.

For example, I once taught a public speaking course in Paris.I mailed copies of the letter to all US residents living in the city.But those French typists had very low English skills, so mistakes were naturally made when typing names.One man, the manager of a large American bank in Paris, wrote me a mercilessly rude letter because his name was misspelled. Sometimes it can be quite difficult to remember a person's name, especially if the person's name is difficult to pronounce.Because most people don't want to remember such hard-to-remember names, and they think: "Forget it, just call him by his nickname, and it's easy to remember." However, have you ever thought that once you remember other people's names , what will be the effect?

Sid Levy once visited a customer whose name was particularly difficult to remember, Nicodemus Papaduras.Because the name is too difficult to remember, others call him "Nick".Levy told me: "Before I went to visit him, I made a special effort to remember his name. When I met him and greeted him by his full name, I said 'Good morning, Nicodemus. Mr. Papaduras', he froze and did not speak for several minutes. Finally, with tears streaming down his face, he said to me tremblingly: 'Mr. Levi, I have been in this country for 15 years. but no one ever tried to call me by my real name like you did.'”

What is the reason for the success of "Steel King" Andrew Carnegie? Although he was known as the "Steel King", he himself did not know much about steel manufacturing.He has thousands of men working for him who know a lot more about steelmaking than he does. But Carnegie knew how to behave, and this is the key reason why he became rich.From an early age, he showed a genius for organization and leadership.When he was only 10 years old, he discovered that people took their name surprisingly seriously.So he used this discovery to win cooperation with others. For example, when he was a boy living in Scotland, he once captured a rabbit, which was a pregnant doe.Soon he had a litter of little rabbits—but he had nothing to feed them.But he has a very ingenious way.He told the neighborhood children that if they would go out and gather enough alfalfa and dandelions to feed the little rabbits, he would thank them by naming them after them.

The method was so amazing that Andrew Carnegie never forgot it. Years later, he applied the same psychology in business and made millions of dollars.For example, he wanted to sell steel tracks to the Pennsylvania Railroad.At that time, Egger Thomson was the chairman of the company, so Andrew Carnegie built a new giant steel plant in Pittsburgh, and named it "Egger Thomson Steel Works". Can you guess whose product Egg Thomson bought when the Pennsylvania Railroad needed steel tracks? ... Sears?Yes... This is like a riddle, you guessed wrong, guess again!Yes, it is "Egger Thompson Steel Works".

When Carnegie and George Pullman competed for the sleeping car business, the steel magnate was reminded of the rabbit's lesson. Central Transportation, controlled by Carnegie, was competing for business with the company controlled by Pullman.Both parties desperately wanted to get the Union Pacific order, and so the two sides fought each other, killing the price so that there was no profit at all.Both Carnegie and Pullman traveled to New York to meet with the Union Pacific board.Meeting at the St. Nichols one night, Carnegie said, "Good evening, Mr. Pullman, aren't we making a fool of ourselves?"

"What do you mean by that?" Pullman asked. So Carnegie said what he had been thinking for a long time-to merge the two companies.He exaggerated the advantages of cooperating rather than competing.Pullman listened attentively, but he didn't quite take it in.Finally he asked, "What will this new company be called?" Carnegie immediately said, "Oh! Of course it's the Pullman Palace Sleeping Car Company." So, as you can imagine, Pullman's face immediately lit up. "Come into my room," he said, "and we'll talk about it." That conversation rewrote a page in American industrial history. Andrew Carnegie's good habit of remembering and valuing the names of his friends and colleagues is one of the secrets of his success as a business leader.He could call many of his subordinates by name, and it was something he was very proud of.He also proudly said that when he was personally in charge of the company, there had never been a strike. Benton Raff, chairman of Texas Business Corporation, believes that the larger the company, the colder the feelings between people will be.He believed that the only way to warm the company was to remember people's names. Rock Paro, California, is a TWA flight attendant. She often practices remembering the names of passengers in the cabin and calling them by name when serving them. Praise, some customers will praise her face to face, and some customers will report to the company.A customer once wrote to the airline manager and said: "I haven't flown with your company for a long time. But from now on, I must wait for your company's plane to fly. You make me feel like your airline It's kind of exclusive, and that means a lot to me." In a similar way, the music master Petrowski used the same method to make the black chef in his car feel respected, because Petrowski always called him "Mr. Cooper".Petrowski has traveled 15 times across the United States, playing to huge and enthusiastic audiences across the country.Each time he occupied a private car, and the chef prepared him supper after the concert.In all those years Petrowski never called him "George" in the traditional American way.Petrowski always called him "Mr. Cooper," in his old formal way, to Mr. Cooper's delight. People take their names so seriously and do whatever it takes to immortalize theirs.Even R.T. Baran, the domineering, irascible, and wealthy R.T. Baran, was so disappointed in not having an heir to the Baran name that he was willing to give $25,000 to his grandson, C. H. Seeley, if he would call himself " Banan Siri". For 200 years, aristocrats and entrepreneurs have funded artists, musicians and writers, hoping that their works will be dedicated to them. Some of the most valuable collections in libraries and museums have been donated by people who feared their names would be lost to history.The New York Public Library holds the collections of the Astors and Lee Chucks.The Metropolitan Museum preserves the names of Benjamin Altman and J.P. Morgan.Almost every teaching building is equipped with stained glass windows to commemorate the donors. Most people don't remember people's names simply because they don't want to spend the time and energy trying to remember them by heart.They always find all kinds of excuses for themselves: they are too busy. But they probably couldn't be busier than Franklin Roosevelt, yet Roosevelt was willing to take the time to remember the names of the mechanics he had contacted. For example, the Chrysler Motor Company made a special car for Mr. Roosevelt.Chamberlain and a mechanic delivered the car to the White House.I have here a letter from Mr. Chamberlain describing his experience at the time: "I taught President Roosevelt how to drive a car with many unusual parts, but he also taught me a lot about being a human being. " "When I was called to the White House," Mr. Chamberlain wrote, "the President was very pleased, and he addressed me by my first name. I was particularly impressed by the fact that he did explain to me Attention and interest. The car was specially designed and perfect and could be completely steered by hand. A group of people gathered around the car to see it. He said: 'I think this car is really amazing. Just press the This switch, you can turn it on, drive it effortlessly. I think this car is too good to be true - I don't know how it even works. I wish I had time to take it apart and see See how it works.' "While many of Roosevelt's friends and associates were admiring the car, he said to me in front of them: 'Mr. Chamberlain, I really appreciate the time and effort you put into designing this car. It's a really good car.' He's made a fuss about the radiator, the special mirrors, the clock, the special lights, the pattern of the upholstery, the position of the driver's seat, the special trunk with his initials on it, etc. In other words, he noticed and appreciated every little detail of my painstaking efforts. He also especially called the attention of Mrs. Roosevelt, his secretary, Ms. Poggin, the Secretary of Labor, etc. parts. He even told his old black driver to be extra careful, saying, 'George, you've got to take good care of those suitcases.' "After he finished his driving lessons, the president turned to me and said, 'Okay, Mr. Chamberlain, I've kept the Federal Reserve Board waiting for me for 30 minutes. I think it's time for me to go back to the office and get to work.' "I took a mechanic with me to the White House. The mechanic was introduced to President Roosevelt when he first arrived. He was a shy man who always drew back or hid in a corner. Although he did not talk to The President said a word, and President Roosevelt only heard his name once, but before we left, the President found the mechanic, shook his hand, and called him by name, thanking him for coming to Washington. Expressing gratitude. There was nothing artificial about his gratitude, but genuine sincerity. I could feel it. "A few days after returning to New York, I received a photo signed by President Roosevelt with a brief thank you, thanking me again for my help. As a president of a country, how could Roosevelt have time to do this It’s really hard for me to understand.” Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious, and most important ways to gain favor is to remember someone's name and feel noticed and respected—but how many of us can do that?Most of the time it goes like this: We are introduced to a stranger, we talk to each other for a few minutes, and when we part we don't even remember the person's name. One of the first lessons to be learned as a politician is "Remembering voters' names is political genius. If you forget, you risk being lost." The ability to remember people's names is almost as important in personal and business dealings as it is in politics. The French Emperor Napoleon III, nephew of the great Emperor Napoleon, boasted that despite his busy schedule, he could still remember the name of everyone he ever heard. What are his skills?it's actually really easy.If he didn't hear the person's name clearly, he said, "Sorry. I didn't catch it." If he came across an unusual name, he said, "How do you spell it?" During the conversation, he would repeat the name several times, trying to mentally associate it with the person's features, expression, and appearance. If the other party is an important person, Napoleon III will take more pains to remember him.As soon as there was no one around him, he wrote that person's name on a piece of paper, looked at it carefully, it was deeply rooted in his heart with concentration, and then tore off the paper.By doing so, he will have a deeper impression of that person, not only the impression of eyes, but also the impression of ears. All these things take time, but Emerson said, "Courteousness is paid for by small sacrifices."