Chapter 5 listen to others, be humble

If you try to show yourself to others, you will offend him; if you let him show you, you will gain friendship. Most people always talk too much when they want to make others agree with them.This is especially true for salesmen, who often lose more than they gain.Try to let the other party behave. He knows his own affairs better than you.Ask him, let him speak. Don't interrupt others because that's dangerous.When a person has a lot to say, he will not pay attention to you. Be patient and open to him, and let the other person say his words sincerely. Does this approach work in the business world?Let us consider the following example of a person who, by chance, practiced this method.

Just a few years ago, a large automobile manufacturing company in the United States planned to purchase cloth for car seat cushions needed throughout the year.The samples made by three manufacturers passed the inspection of the senior staff of the automobile company.And inform them that the contract will be determined on a certain day. Mr. Luo is a representative of one of the manufacturers. When he came to participate in the negotiation, he could hardly speak because of severe laryngitis, while the engineers, managers and chairman of the other party were waiting for his speech.He stood up and wanted to speak but couldn't.They all sat at the table and looked at Mr. Luo, so he wrote on a piece of paper: "Sorry, I have a bad voice and can't speak." Then the chairman of the other party showed him his samples and praised him. After discussing its good points, everyone enthusiastically discussed the good points.Because the chairman wanted to introduce him on his behalf, the discussion naturally favored Mr. Luo.Mr. Luo didn't say a word, just nodded and gestured with a smile.

Mr. Luo said: "I ended up with $1.6 million in orders, the biggest contract I've ever gotten. I realized I was wrong in thinking I was going to handle the whole situation. Quite by chance, I found out that letting the other side do the talking , can lead to better results.” Joseph Webb of the Philadelphia Electric Company was on a visit to a wealthy Dutch farmers' area in Pennsylvania.As he passed a well-kept farm, he asked the representative why they didn't use electrical appliances. "They're too petty, not only can't do business," the representative said disgustedly, "They often have opinions on the company. I don't think it can be saved." But Weber decided to give it a try, and he knocked on the The door of the farmhouse opened, and old Frau Jürgenburg came out. "But as soon as she saw the company representative," said Mr. Webb, "the door was shut again. I knocked again, and she opened the door a crack, and began to spout her opinion of our company.

"'Excuse me, Mrs. Jürgenborg,' I said, 'you have misunderstood, we are not here to sell electrical appliances, I am here to buy eggs.' "She looked at us in disbelief. "'Look at those Dominique chickens of yours,' I said, 'and I want to buy some fresh eggs.' "The door opened up a bit more, 'Why do you think my chicken is a Dominique?' she asked in amazement. "'I keep chickens too, and I've never seen such a beautiful Dominique.' "'Don't you have eggs in your own house?' She was still in disbelief.

"'Because my chickens lay eggs with white skins. When making cakes, it is best to use red skins, and my wife likes cakes very much.' "Mrs. Jürgenburg came out relieved and her attitude improved. I looked around and saw a very beautiful cowshed. "So I said, 'I guess you're making more money raising chickens than your husband is making dairy cows.' And she enjoyed it! I got to the point, even though her stubborn husband didn't like it. do not agree. "Then she showed us her chicken coop and I found she had installed all sorts of little machinery which I admired and talked to her about feed and temperature and asked her a few questions .In no time, we were all having fun in this exchange.

"After a while, she told me that some of her neighbors had installed electrical appliances in the chicken sheds and heard that they worked well. She wanted my advice on whether it was necessary to install electrical appliances. "Two weeks later, the Dominique chickens in Mrs. Jürgenborg's house had a special lighting device. In this way, I sold the electrical appliances, and her chickens were more able to lay eggs, achieving a win-win situation. "But here's the catch: Only if the lady convinces herself can she sell the appliance. "When you meet this kind of person, you must not take the initiative to sell, you must let them decide to buy."

Letting others talk can also help resolve family conflicts.Barbera Wilson and her daughter Lori are having a falling out.But Lori used to be very docile to her, but now she is a teenager, but she often opposes her, and she even thinks she is more reasonable than her mother.Mrs. Wilson tried everything, but it just didn't work for her. Mrs Wilson said: "Lowry went out one day to find her friends without finishing her chores. When she came back, I was going to give her a big fight, but I was disappointed. I just watched her sad asked her why she did that. "Lowry looked at me and asked me calmly if I really wanted to know. I nodded to her. Finally, Lowry spoke her mind, hesitated at first, and then said everything bluntly. This is It was the first time I heard her confide in me like this. I used to treat her with an attitude of ordering and ordering. Whenever she wanted to talk to me, I told her what to do without waiting for her to finish speaking. I began to understand I realized that she wanted me to be a friend she could confide in, not a mother who did what she was told. She needed to talk about her growing pains, and I didn't realize it.

"From then on, I always listened as much as I could. She told me what was on her mind, and we became close again. She became an obedient child again." A large ad was recently placed in the economics section of the New York Herald Tribune for a man of outstanding ability.Charles Kirby decided to give it a try.So, he wrote a letter, and soon received a reply, inviting him to an interview.Before the interview, he spent a lot of effort to learn about the boss of the company on Wall Street.During the interview, he said to the boss: "It would be a great honor for me to work for a company like yours. I know that 28 years ago, the company started with nothing but a small office and a typist. "

There is no successful person who does not like to recall his struggle history.The owner of the company started to tell how he got started with $450 and a new idea.He was once looked down upon, but he persisted, working overtime on Sundays and holidays, 16 hours a day, and he overcame all difficulties.Now, Wall Street's most famous businessman is also seeking his advice.He is proud of his past.He then asked Kirby about his experience, then called in a vice chairman and said, "I think he's the one we're looking for." Mr. Kirby got to know the other party in advance, and then guided the other party to say what he was most proud of, and listened carefully, which made the other party's impression of him very good.

Louis Bradley of San Cramondo, California, encountered exactly the opposite situation.He wanted to hire someone who was a good salesman for a position at Bradley, but only if he could be persuaded.Louie says: "Richard Puyol did a similar job. He knew some of the disadvantages of the job when he was interviewing my assistant, so when he saw me, he was a little bit put off. I just told One of the benefits of his working for our company is that we are an independent contractor, so once he does, he calls the shots. "That's what made him gradually dispel his previous doubts. I can see that his mind is still struggling. Sometimes he even talks to himself. Several times, I couldn't help interjecting. But after the interview, I think he convinced himself to take over the job of our company.

"Because I was a good listener, trying to get Richard to say that he considered the pros and cons on his own and made a positive decision. He took the challenge. He did a fantastic job with the company afterwards." In fact, even a friend prefers to talk about his own achievements rather than listening to ours. French philosopher Rossi Figue said: "If you show your power in front of others, you will offend him; but if you let him show his power in front of you, you will gain friendship." The truth of this sentence is that when our friend shows his power in front of us, he feels valued and happy; when we show his power in front of him, he will feel depressed and even feel jealous. Henrietta is now the most sought-after job counselor for New York City's Central Personnel Bureau, but she's had trouble with relationships before.When she first joined the personnel bureau, none of her colleagues liked her.what is the reason?At the time, she was busy bragging about how well she did a job referral, opening a new bank account, how much money she had saved, and talking about it. Henrietta said: "I feel great about myself and I think I'm doing a great job. However, it makes my colleagues very unhappy that they don't think it's a good thing that I have done a good job. I am very happy about it. Confused, because I hope to be friends with them, let them accept me, and share everything with me. After studying Carnegie's courses, I finally got the hang of it, and I understand that I should listen to others and not patronize myself. I My colleagues will also have a lot to say, and boasting about their own achievements will make them much happier than just listening to me bragging. So when I am free, I chat with them, but now I am very Don't brag about your greatness, but listen to them and share their happy stories." "He who has been lucky is finally unlucky, which is very pleasant." This is a popular German proverb.Yes, there is nothing more pleasing than hearing about other people's bad luck. Perhaps, your unsatisfactory work will make the people around you more comfortable, but you have been proud of yourself but it makes people feel a little bit resentful. So, try not to mention your brilliant achievements, try to appear humble, so that others can accept you.Irwin Cobb knows this well.Once in court, a lawyer on the witness stand asked Cobb: "You are a great writer who is famous all over the United States, isn't that true, Mr. Cobb?" But Cobb replied: "I'm actually living in vain." Remember that we are all ordinary and have nothing to be proud of.For the rest of our lives, the grass and trees spring, in this world, we will not leave much trace in the end.Listen to others more, feel more about others, and don't brag about yourself triumphantly, which is annoying.Honestly, we really have nothing to brag about, we're all just creatures on Earth.Why aren't we idiots?Just because we don't have iodine deficiency in our thyroid glands - and that's only 5 cents worth.Imagine if a doctor slashed your neck, cut open your thyroid, took out a tiny bit of iodine, and you were screwed.Hehe, the reason why you didn't go to the madhouse is because of iodine for 5 cents!It's that simple, what's there to brag about?