Chapter 2 Chapter 1 How to Express Elegantly and Appropriately
Eager for a language breakthrough, first of all make several psychological preparations:
Why can't you think as calmly and calmly as you do when you're alone at home when you're dealing with other people?Why when you stand up and speak to the audience, your stomach will start to churn, your body will keep shaking, your brain will short-circuit in an instant, your thinking will become unclear, and your logic will become confused?Are there no ways to overcome these problems?
In fact, there are almost no natural speakers, negotiators and persuaders in the world. As long as you prepare according to the following simple but very important methods, it is not difficult to speak gracefully and gracefully in front of everyone.
In the early 20th century, psychologists and philosophers asserted that the average person uses only a tiny fraction of his or her full potential.We are only half awake compared to who we should be; our enthusiasm is dampened, our blueprints are not unfolded, and we use only a tiny fraction of our mind and body resources.What is the reason for this?In fact, this is the psychology of fear.People's fear is terrible, so I often say to my students: "You have to assume that the audience owes you money and are begging you for a few more days; but you are the proud creditor, so there is no need to be afraid. them." While conducting classes for the business community and professionals in New York in 1912, I came to understand that the students needed training not only in speech, but also in the art of communicating with people in everyday business and social situations.Because in addition to longing for health, what people need most is to improve interpersonal relationships and learn the art of dealing with others, and all of these are based on the premise and means of speaking.So, I decided to conduct in-depth research in this area, and thus finally concluded a set of more comprehensive and practical courses, which is very meaningful. Making full use of the charm of language determines whether modern people can succeed from communication. Not subconsciously refusing to communicate with others or being afraid to speak in public is not unique to one individual, but to varying degrees.To this end, we conducted a special survey and found that 80% to 90% of people have experienced the fear of not speaking in public and the fear of communicating with others. This seems to be saying that "fear communication" is inherent in human beings.Indeed, it is an inherent weakness of human beings, and it has a lot to do with human character.Psychologists believe that personality is a basic characteristic of a person's behavior that is relatively stable.Personality is stable, that is to say, after a person's personality is formed under the influence of a certain education and environment, it is difficult to change, so there is a saying that "the country is easy to change, but the nature is hard to change". Relevant experts have conducted observational research on a pair of college student twin sisters in Arizona.The twin sisters are similar in appearance, have the same innate genetic qualities, and their family life and education are also the same.Although the two sisters have been educated in the same elementary school, middle school and university, despite the same genetics, education and environment, the two sisters have very different personalities: the older sister is good at speaking and communication, confident and proactive, decisive and brave; The younger sister, on the contrary, lacks the sense of independence and always follows her sister when she speaks and does things.When relevant experts talk to them, the elder sister always answers first, while the younger sister just agrees, not talking, or just making some supplements.In short, the two sisters have completely different personalities. Why is this?It turned out that the parents identified one of them as the elder sister and the other as the younger sister. Since they were young, they told the elder sister to take care of the younger sister, be responsible to the younger sister, set a good example for the younger sister, and take the lead in performing the tasks assigned by the elders.In this way, the elder sister has formed an independent, autonomous, sociable, and decisive character since childhood, while the younger sister has developed the habit of obeying her elder sister. This shows that a person's character is formed by the long-term education and environmental influences, but this does not apply to adults.For adults, personality is actually determined by psychological state.That is, if an adult can change his mentality, he can change his character. Just like how to improve the ability to speak in public, any communication in daily life requires people to overcome fear and build self-confidence, which is the prerequisite for more effective speaking.Only in this way can people maximize their potential, make appropriate speeches on various occasions, win praise, win the favor of others, and achieve success. Before any speaking skill is implemented, full self-confidence must be established.Because self-confidence gives people a sense of security, so that you dare to get along with others, and freely express your views on any non-free occasions.Once you express your thoughts with passion, even on small occasions, you will diligently search for previous experience as a talking point.In this way, your vision will become more open and you will have a new understanding of your life. Before my classes start, I do a survey asking people to say why they are in the class and what they hope to get out of this eloquence class.The results of the survey were surprising. Most people had the same central desires and basic needs. Their answer was: "When people ask me to stand up and speak, I feel very uncomfortable and scared, which prevents me from being able to communicate clearly. I can't concentrate, I don't know what I'm going to say. So, I want to gain confidence, be able to stand up in public with poise, be able to think freely, be able to summarize my thoughts in a logical order, and be able to speak in public or socially. Speak clearly and convincingly in front of people." I believe it to be true that when you are standing in front of an audience you cannot think as carefully as when you are sitting, but this phenomenon can be improved with training.More importantly: You must exercise according to the method I said. I'll let you in on a secret that even professional speakers never quite get over their fear of going on stage—they almost always start out with some level of timidity.These timidity can be shown in their first few sentences, but they can quickly overcome this timidity and enter a calm state.And it was pretty much the same when I started talking. The first thing you should realize is that the fear of speaking in public is beneficial to human communication because humans have an innate ability to cope with unusual challenges in their environment.When you notice your pulse and breathing quicken, don't panic, but stay calm.Because your body is always alert to external stimuli, this alertness shows that it is ready to take action to meet the challenges of the environment.Provided that this psychological preparation is carried out within a certain limit, the person concerned will therefore think faster, speak more fluently, and generally speak more incisively and forcefully than under ordinary circumstances! In order to better overcome fear, you might as well try the following methods. 1. Don't imagine that you might fail. For example, if you imagine that you might make a grammatical error, or suddenly stop speaking, these negative thoughts are likely to cause you to lose confidence before you even start. Take your attention away from yourself before you speak.Concentrate when listening to others and keep your attention on them so that it doesn't cause you undue stage dread. 2. Engage in proper self-motivation. Unless one has some lofty goal in mind and has dedicated his life to it, every speaker will have moments of doubt about his subject.He will ask himself whether the subject matter is suitable, whether the audience will be interested, etc.He may have changed the title on the spur of the moment.At times like this, when negative thoughts are likely to destroy your self-confidence, you should do some mental mobilization for yourself.Say to yourself in plain, straightforward words that your speech is suitable for you because it comes from your own experience, from your perception of life.Say to yourself that you are more qualified to give this special speech than anyone in the audience.And, you're going to go all out and make it clear.
When a person goes up the stairs, aiming at the 6th floor and the 12th floor respectively, the fatigue state will appear differently in the morning and evening.I've found that if you aim for tier 12, the fatigue state comes later.Because when you climb to the 6th floor, your subconscious mind will hint to yourself: There is still half of the effort!So you keep going up the stairs. What does this show?The self-suggestion brought about by the level of the goal directly determines the size of our behavioral ability.Furthermore, we can draw the conclusion that consciousness not only affects your mental state, but also directly affects your physiological state.This is the importance of psychological suggestion. You may still have some doubts, does self-suggestion really work?Yes.Modern experimental psychologists agree that motivation, even if feigned, by autosuggestion is one of the most powerful triggers for rapid learning.So, make positive autosuggestions to yourself. A young British lawyer was going to argue with a group of well-known lawyers in court. He had made sufficient preparations, but he still felt uneasy and worried that he would screw up the debate.So, he went to ask Mr. Faraday, and he asked Faraday: "My opponent knows much more than me, and I will definitely lose." Mr. Faraday told him simply and plainly: "If you want to succeed, tell yourself they don't know anything!" Many people will face the same problems as this young man, and their real difficulties do not lie in the two points mentioned above.Because the vast majority of us are not as unfortunate as Demosthenes, have no stuttering problems, and no other deficiencies. A survey in the United States shows that when contacting strangers at a banquet, about 3/4 of the people feel embarrassed; similarly, examples of speech or other speech failures caused by shyness or inferiority complex are common.It can be seen that a person has no self-confidence, not because he is really inferior by nature, but because he thinks so.Therefore, only by completely overcoming this feeling can you perform normally or even supernormally. All your preparations are for those few minutes of speaking.No matter how well-prepared you are, in general, a feeling of insecurity can strike you when speaking.This feeling could be caused by your fear that you are not quite ready - in fact you are quite ready but you think you might be missing something - or it could be that you are worried that the audience is at a higher level than you , and what you are saying is too simple for them; or you are worried that something unexpected may happen, such as someone interrupting you while you are speaking, etc.The deadliest thing these thoughts do is give you negative self-suggestions, and you have to figure out how to get them out of your mind. To be successful in public speaking, it is necessary to give yourself certain positive cues. Next I will give an example to prove the validity of this theory of psychological suggestion, this person is regarded as a symbol of courage.He had his moments of timidity, but he was determined to rely only on himself.So, after unremitting efforts, he finally became a respected warrior.He was Theodore Roosevelt who opposed the trusts, swayed the audience with his words, and waved the presidential scepter in his hand.In his autobiography, he wrote: "I was a sickly and clumsy child. When I was young, I was often in a state of tension and had no confidence in myself, so I had to train myself hard. This kind of training is not only physical, but also spiritual and spiritual." How did such a child become a warrior?He explained the reason in his autobiography: "I saw a passage in Mariere's book, which was very impressive, and I kept it in my heart all the time. This is a captain of a small British warship explaining to the protagonist how to stand upright, A passage about living without fear. He said that everyone is nervous and insecure when it comes to action in the first place. Pretending to be nothing. If you persevere in this way, the pretense will become reality. He just wanted to practice a strong will, but this practice turned him into a real brave man." "That's how I trained myself. In the beginning, I was afraid of everything from grizzly bears to wild horses and shotguns, but I tried to pretend I wasn't. Slowly, I stopped being afraid. People would, if they wanted to." Be like me," Roosevelt said. From the above examples, we can see that psychological suggestion can indeed bring us courage.Positive psychological hints can enable us to overcome fear and overcome difficulties, which is very beneficial to us in everything we do.Those who take on this challenge will find themselves transformed to enjoy a richer, better life.
In my class, many students sit together and talk about their experiences after finishing the study. Quite a few of them think that the most important thing they have learned is confidence in themselves.In other words, I have more confidence in my own success.In a way, nothing leads a person to success more than self-confidence. The Bedek Travel Guide says that amateur climbers should have a guide because climbing the Alps is difficult.But a few years ago, my friend and I came to the Wilder Kaiser in the Alps and wanted to conquer this legendary and dangerous mountain.First we state that neither of us are professional climbers, we did not consult guides, we succeeded. Before we climbed the mountain, a friend asked us if we could succeed, and I told him resolutely: "I will!" "Why so sure?" the friend continued to ask. I said, "There are men who have succeeded without a guide, as we have. And I never think of failure in anything I do." So, how should specific operation develop self-confidence?You can follow the training methods below to improve your self-confidence in a targeted manner. 1. Be fully prepared and build the confidence to succeed. William James, the most famous psychologist in the United States, said: "Action seems to follow the feeling, but in fact it is parallel to the feeling. Action is directly controlled by the idea, and the action is controlled by the idea. We also Feelings can be controlled indirectly, but feelings are not directly controlled by thoughts. Therefore, if we lose our original natural happiness, then the best way to make yourself happy is to sit down happily, Act like you're happy already. If that doesn't make you happy, there's no other way. So make yourself feel brave and act like you're really brave, and use your All your will to achieve this goal, then courage may well replace fear." A person achieves the goal of successful persuasion, which has a lot to do with the preparations made before speaking.Lincoln said: "Even the most powerful person can't speak in a systematic and high-level way without careful preparation." Therefore, you need to collect materials extensively before speaking, and conduct in-depth and detailed research on your topic. Thinking.When you've confirmed that you're ready, imagine yourself speaking to someone in complete control.This is something you can easily do.You will succeed only if you believe that you can succeed, and if you believe in yourself unwaveringly. Remember William James' advice, to develop confidence and courage, act as if you really do have that confidence and courage in front of your audience. (Of course, the premise is that you must be fully prepared, otherwise no amount of performance will work.) The first way to build confidence is if you already know what you are going to say, you should stride onto the stage with ease and take a deep breath.Breathing deeply for 30 seconds can refresh you, give you confidence and courage.The famous tenor Jean de Raschi used to say, "When you have air in your chest, the tension goes away." Another way is to stand up straight, look your audience in the eye, and speak with confidence, as if everyone owes you money and they're just asking for grace to pay their debt.This psychological effect will greatly help you stabilize your emotions. If we can overcome our fear of speaking in public, it can have a huge, subtle effect on everything else we do.Those who take on this challenge will find themselves on the way to perfection, conquering the fear of public speaking, and transforming themselves into a richer, more fulfilling life. A student salesman in my class once put it this way: "After standing up a few times in class, I felt like I could handle anyone. One morning, I found a buyer who was usually aggressive. Before he had time to say 'No', I had samples spread out on his desk. As it turned out, he gave me the biggest order yet!" A housewife also told me: "I used to be afraid to invite my neighbors to my house because I was afraid that we wouldn't be able to have a good conversation and jokes. But after several lectures and standing up to speak, I decided to have a family dinner. The banquet was very successful, and I walked among the guests, chatting and laughing with them to my heart's content." At another graduating class’s evening party, a clerk said: “At first, I was afraid to talk to customers, and I was always terrified every time. After speaking a few times in the class, I felt confident, and talking to customers was also easy. I took it easy. I started to speak up and disagree. In the first month after I took speech classes, my sales increased by nearly half.” Through this effective training, the trainees realized that they had easily overcome their fear or anxiety; that they had succeeded where they might have failed before.They gain confidence from speaking in public and allow themselves to face each day's offerings with confidence. You, too, can gain this sense of triumph and meet life's challenges.If you can do this, problems that once terrified you can become enjoyable challenges that spice up your life. 2. Conduct corrective training for your own deficiencies. If there are indeed some deficiencies, you can carry out targeted training to overcome these difficulties and deficiencies, so as to build self-confidence. Demosthenes, who ranked first among the "Ten Great Speakers" in ancient Greece, had a stuttering problem since he was a child, and when he spoke, he always had one shoulder high and the other shoulder low, and he kept shaking.In such an era that advocates eloquence, such people will naturally be discriminated against.He was very distressed and had a deep sense of inferiority.However, he was not overwhelmed by inferiority complex, but trained hard with extraordinary perseverance and hard-working spirit.Every morning he stands by the seaside, practicing with a stone in his mouth.In response to the problem of shaking, he practiced in front of the mirror and hung two swords on his shoulders so that he would not shake.After assiduous training, he became, as we now know, a very good and respected orator.
Everyone wants to speak eloquently in front of everyone, and has an enviable conversational skill.But many people end up complaining like this: "I also know that I need to muster courage, but when I want to speak, it seems that it is not easy to do." This problem is what most people will encounter when speaking. question.So, let's talk about how to have courage. Mr. Gu Liqu, chairman of Gu Liqu Company, came to my office one day.He said to me: "I have never been afraid to speak up in my life. But as the chairman, I have to chair the meeting. Although I have known the directors for many years, when I stand up and speak, I Just can't say a word. It's been years since I've been that way, and I'm so sick. Mr. Carnegie, I find it hard to believe that you can help me out of it." "In that case, why are you still looking for me?" I asked him. "This is because of such a thing happened." Mr. Gu Liqu replied, "One of my accountants turned out to be a shy person. Before he walked into his own office, he had to go through my office. Before he All looking at the floor, not saying a word, and tiptoeing past my office. But recently, that has changed. Now he always has his jaw up, his eyes sparkle, and he says hello to me , which surprised me. I asked him, 'Who changed you?' and he told me, 'Mr. Carnegie. I couldn't believe it, so I came to you.'" "If you want to change like this accountant," I told him, "you can take regular classes." "If you can really make me talk without being afraid," said Mr. Gulliver, "I shall be the happiest man I can be." Sure enough, Mr. Gu Liqu came to participate in our training.In fact, he's making rapid progress. One day three months later, I invited him to a party of 3,000 people in the ballroom of the Astor Hotel, and invited him to talk to the guests about the experience of attending Carnegie's eloquence training class.He was sorry to say he couldn't come because he had an important appointment scheduled.But, the next day, he called me again and said, "Mr. Carnegie, I've canceled my appointment. I must come to this party because I owe you that. I'm going to tell people the Carnegie Eloquence Class for me. It has really turned me into the happiest person in the world. I hope my story can inspire people to let go of the fear that takes their lives away." At the party, Mr. Gu Liqu talked to 3,000 people for more than 10 minutes, but I only asked him to talk for 2 minutes.When the audience was moved by his wonderful speech, who would have thought that he would be terrified when he spoke? If you wish to be like Mr. Gu Liqu, you too can master this art in a short time.In fact, as Mr. Gu Liqu wanted to tell people in his speech, you can fully realize from his experience that speaking is not a difficult thing.That said, you can use his experience to build your own courage.When you can't speak because of fear, you can think: "Since Mr. Gu Liqu can do it, I can do it too." When we talk to those important people, conduct business negotiations, or even just in ordinary conversations with people, if you feel very shy, you can borrow other people's experience to summon up your courage; at different times, you can Think of corresponding stories to achieve the purpose of mustering up your courage. I once conducted a survey of those good talkers, and found that almost all of them were shy at one time, and even now—as I said earlier—when they express their opinions, negotiate or persuade The nervousness has not been completely eliminated.Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate who moved freely in the social arena, often said to people: "Although I am shy by nature, I try to make myself a good talker." I hope you will have the opportunity to visit my home and I will show you the thank you notes I have received from all over the world.Some of the people who wrote the letters were business leaders, some were governors, members of Congress, university presidents and stars in the entertainment industry, and more were business executives, workers, union members, college students, housewives, pastors, etc. They are ordinary people who are unknown to the public. What they have in common is that they all feel that they need to express their opinions and communicate with others in order to be understood and accepted by others, but they lack enough courage and self-confidence—that is, they are not good at words at first .It is precisely because they have achieved certain results and achieved their goals that they are grateful and wrote to me to express their gratitude. So when you need the courage to speak at a drinking party or negotiate with your client—indeed, any time you need to be eloquent—you can use the experience of others to motivate yourself.Whenever you're feeling intimidated, ask yourself, "If they've all been successful, why can't I?"
When George Bernard Shaw introduced his experience in improving eloquence to others, he said: "I borrowed from my own method of learning ice skating-I made myself look stupid until I learned it." Whether you want to be an excellent speaker like George Bernard Shaw, Whether you just want to take your time speaking in front of people, you should take every opportunity to practice and try to "make a fool of yourself". We all know that one can never learn to swim if one does not get into the water.The same goes for the ability to speak.No matter how much you learn about eloquence or about pronunciation, you can't learn it if you don't speak.In all the examples of good talkers I gave earlier, if they didn't talk often and didn't think about how to talk better, they couldn't be successful. After World War I, the curriculum I taught at the Young Christians on 125th Street changed from what it had been.Every year I add new ideas to the curriculum and some old ones get thrown out.But one thing has not changed, that is, every student in the training class is required to speak in public at least once, and more often at least twice.I don't think you'll ever learn how to speak if you don't practice it a lot.Therefore, this book is only a guide for you, and you have to have your own practice. Everyone will have an ideal self-image, and hope that others will see themselves in a favorable light.When he comes into contact with a stranger, interacts with the opposite sex, talks with authority figures, or speaks in public, he will involuntarily realize that his self-image is facing some kind of threat, worrying that he will make mistakes and make a fool of himself in public. Fear that others will say that I am "stupid", "not good enough" or "pushing", "good performance", etc.Many people are reluctant to speak because of the uncertainty of the possible consequences of speaking.This worry is completely unnecessary.You know, even if you don't say yes, the sky will never fall, and no one will blame you. When you speak, you may not even know what point you want to express at first, let alone the literary grace and embellishment, but it is not a big deal.The most important thing is that you have managed to speak, and if you can keep at it, that's what you need to care about next.No matter how profound your knowledge and how wise your brain is, don't expect to be able to express it clearly to others at the beginning.Any successful talker has come from this step. "I understand all the reasons you said," a young business executive student said to me once, "but I still hesitate. I seem to be afraid of the difficulties and trials of learning." "What is the difficulty, what is the trial?" I said, "throw away these thoughts quickly! Why can't you look at the matter with a right conquering spirit?" "What spirit is that?" he asked. "Adventurous," I said.Then I talked to him about some examples of success through speaking, and good changes in his personality have also taken place. "I'm going to try it, and I'm going to take on this adventure," he concluded. The book you are reading is a book about risky action.As you continue to read this book and plan to put it into practice, you are also taking on the same adventure as he did.You will find that your self-direction skills and keen observation skills will help you in this adventure; you will also find that this adventure will change you from the inside out.
Many people fail not because they lack good education or opportunities, but because they lack firm belief and determination.Faith power determines destiny, and faith power controls life.As long as a person has strong faith, he can inspire people's willpower to overcome difficulties.In this section, I will specifically talk about the issue of belief power.A strong belief requires us to concentrate in the process of hard work, to have the tenacity not to give up until the goal is reached, and the indomitable spirit to overcome difficulties. British political activist and novelist Edward Lipton was a success.He visited many places in his life, saw a wide range, and actively participated in political activities and various social affairs; in addition, he also published 60 books, and these topics required in-depth research. People were surprised that he still had time to study while he was busy all day long, so they asked him: "You have finished so many writings in such a busy schedule. Could it be that you have the skill of avatar?" Of course Edward does not have avatar skills, what he possesses is a strong willpower.He usually spends 3 hours a day or less researching, reading, and writing, but he makes the most of those 3 hours.During these hours, he devoted himself fully to his study and research, with extremely single-mindedness.It is this strong willpower that enabled him to achieve great achievements in a small amount of time. In the process of working to improve our eloquence, we also need to train like Edward Lipton.Because only by making full use of your limited time and concentrating on improving your eloquence can you finally succeed. During the initial training, you will inevitably encounter setbacks and difficulties.These difficulties can be traumatic to varying degrees and can shake your confidence. When you encounter difficulties, don't think about why there are these problems, because there are already these problems.You know, nothing in the world can replace belief.Many people have talents but fail because of lack of belief.We must believe that the most difficult time is when we are not far from success.The secret of success is actually very simple, that is, we cannot allow ourselves to be a little bit discouraged at any time. Let me cite another story of a business legend named Clarence B. Randall, who is now at the top of the corporate ladder. When Mr. Randall stood up to speak for the first time in college, he failed, like so many people, because he was not good at words.At that time, the teacher stipulated that everyone had 5 minutes to speak, but he turned pale when he was less than halfway through the speech, and had to walk off the podium in embarrassment. However, although Mr. Randall has such an experience, he is not reconciled to failure.He was determined to become a good talker, and he has been working tirelessly, and finally became the government's economic adviser, admired by the world. "I think I understand what the audience wants to hear and how they want it to be said," Randall said. "The trick here, as a speaker, is that there is nothing you can't learn if you're willing to learn it." .” Determination and belief in success are the key factors that determine whether you can become a master speaker. This is the experience and inspiration that can be obtained from Randall's story.If I know your mind, the strength of your will, and your optimism, I can predict exactly how quickly you will improve your public speaking skills.
Allyn, President of the National Cash Register Company Board of Governors and President of UNESCO, wrote an article in Speech Quarterly entitled "Speech and Leadership Relationships in Business," he said: "In our business line of work, many people are recognized for their excellence in the pulpit. Many years ago, there was a young man, then a Kansas The director of a small branch, after giving a wonderful speech, is our vice president today, in charge of business development." And I happened to know that the vice president the president mentioned is the current American president. President of the National Cash Register Company. Being able to stand in front of a group of people and speak calmly will make your future limitless.One of our graduates, Henry Blackstone, is the president of the American Schaefer Corporation.He said: "Effective communication with people and winning the cooperation of others is an important ability that we can develop in the workplace." Imagine the satisfaction and relief you feel when you are confident enough to get up and share your thoughts and feelings with your audience.I have traveled the world many times, and although I have seen a lot, I think there is no experience that is more intoxicating than the joy of manipulating an audience through the power of words.This experience will give you a sense of power, a sense of strength. 有个毕业生说：“开始说话前两分钟，我宁愿挨鞭子，就是开不了口；可是说到临结束的前两分钟时，我又宁可吃枪子儿也不愿意停下来。” 现在就开始想象自己面对着一大群听众，想着自己满怀信心，迈步向前，听听你开讲后的全场鸦雀无声，感觉一下在你针针见血之际听众的全神贯注，感受一下你离开讲台时掌声的温馨；并听听聚会结束后个别听众对你的赞赏。 钢铁大王卡内基死后，人们在他的遗物中发现了他32岁时所拟定的计划。他当时准备退休后到牛津大学接受完全的教育，并“特别注意于公开演说的学习”。那么，人们为什么要致力于提高自己的说话能力呢？也就是说，究竟说话的成功对人们有什么重要的意义呢？ 我们不妨想象一下：面对多得难以计数的听众，自信满满地走上讲台，听听开场后全场的鸦雀无声，感觉一下听众被你的深入浅出、幽默诙谐的演说所深深吸引时的那种全神贯注，体会一下听众对你报以经久不息的雷鸣般的掌声时的成就感，然后你带着微笑接受大家对你的赞赏…… 当然，提高自己的说话能力的好处，并不只是可以在正式场合发表成功的演说。继续想象一下：依靠你的口才，通过与对方机智地谈判，你赢得了一笔数额巨大的业务；依靠幽默和富有气质的口才魅力，你赢得了心仪的女孩的欢心，并且与她共同迈进了婚姻的殿堂；依靠极具说服力的口才，你使一个国家停止了对另一个国家使用武力，使亿万人民避免了战争的灾难，你受到了人们的尊敬……还有什么比这更加吸引人的呢？ 学习高效能地对人群讲话，好处还不止于可以让你做正式的公开演讲。事实上，就算你终生都不需要做正式公开演讲，接受这种训练的好处仍是多方面的。
In the early 20th century, psychologists and philosophers asserted that the average person uses only a tiny fraction of his or her full potential.We are only half awake compared to who we should be; our enthusiasm is dampened, our blueprints are not unfolded, and we use only a tiny fraction of our mind and body resources.What is the reason for this?In fact, this is the psychology of fear.People's fear is terrible, so I often say to my students: "You have to assume that the audience owes you money and are begging you for a few more days; but you are the proud creditor, so there is no need to be afraid. them." While conducting classes for the business community and professionals in New York in 1912, I came to understand that the students needed training not only in speech, but also in the art of communicating with people in everyday business and social situations.Because in addition to longing for health, what people need most is to improve interpersonal relationships and learn the art of dealing with others, and all of these are based on the premise and means of speaking.So, I decided to conduct in-depth research in this area, and thus finally concluded a set of more comprehensive and practical courses, which is very meaningful. Making full use of the charm of language determines whether modern people can succeed from communication. Not subconsciously refusing to communicate with others or being afraid to speak in public is not unique to one individual, but to varying degrees.To this end, we conducted a special survey and found that 80% to 90% of people have experienced the fear of not speaking in public and the fear of communicating with others. This seems to be saying that "fear communication" is inherent in human beings.Indeed, it is an inherent weakness of human beings, and it has a lot to do with human character.Psychologists believe that personality is a basic characteristic of a person's behavior that is relatively stable.Personality is stable, that is to say, after a person's personality is formed under the influence of a certain education and environment, it is difficult to change, so there is a saying that "the country is easy to change, but the nature is hard to change". Relevant experts have conducted observational research on a pair of college student twin sisters in Arizona.The twin sisters are similar in appearance, have the same innate genetic qualities, and their family life and education are also the same.Although the two sisters have been educated in the same elementary school, middle school and university, despite the same genetics, education and environment, the two sisters have very different personalities: the older sister is good at speaking and communication, confident and proactive, decisive and brave; The younger sister, on the contrary, lacks the sense of independence and always follows her sister when she speaks and does things.When relevant experts talk to them, the elder sister always answers first, while the younger sister just agrees, not talking, or just making some supplements.In short, the two sisters have completely different personalities. Why is this?It turned out that the parents identified one of them as the elder sister and the other as the younger sister. Since they were young, they told the elder sister to take care of the younger sister, be responsible to the younger sister, set a good example for the younger sister, and take the lead in performing the tasks assigned by the elders.In this way, the elder sister has formed an independent, autonomous, sociable, and decisive character since childhood, while the younger sister has developed the habit of obeying her elder sister. This shows that a person's character is formed by the long-term education and environmental influences, but this does not apply to adults.For adults, personality is actually determined by psychological state.That is, if an adult can change his mentality, he can change his character. Just like how to improve the ability to speak in public, any communication in daily life requires people to overcome fear and build self-confidence, which is the prerequisite for more effective speaking.Only in this way can people maximize their potential, make appropriate speeches on various occasions, win praise, win the favor of others, and achieve success. Before any speaking skill is implemented, full self-confidence must be established.Because self-confidence gives people a sense of security, so that you dare to get along with others, and freely express your views on any non-free occasions.Once you express your thoughts with passion, even on small occasions, you will diligently search for previous experience as a talking point.In this way, your vision will become more open and you will have a new understanding of your life. Before my classes start, I do a survey asking people to say why they are in the class and what they hope to get out of this eloquence class.The results of the survey were surprising. Most people had the same central desires and basic needs. Their answer was: "When people ask me to stand up and speak, I feel very uncomfortable and scared, which prevents me from being able to communicate clearly. I can't concentrate, I don't know what I'm going to say. So, I want to gain confidence, be able to stand up in public with poise, be able to think freely, be able to summarize my thoughts in a logical order, and be able to speak in public or socially. Speak clearly and convincingly in front of people." I believe it to be true that when you are standing in front of an audience you cannot think as carefully as when you are sitting, but this phenomenon can be improved with training.More importantly: You must exercise according to the method I said. I'll let you in on a secret that even professional speakers never quite get over their fear of going on stage—they almost always start out with some level of timidity.These timidity can be shown in their first few sentences, but they can quickly overcome this timidity and enter a calm state.And it was pretty much the same when I started talking. The first thing you should realize is that the fear of speaking in public is beneficial to human communication because humans have an innate ability to cope with unusual challenges in their environment.When you notice your pulse and breathing quicken, don't panic, but stay calm.Because your body is always alert to external stimuli, this alertness shows that it is ready to take action to meet the challenges of the environment.Provided that this psychological preparation is carried out within a certain limit, the person concerned will therefore think faster, speak more fluently, and generally speak more incisively and forcefully than under ordinary circumstances! In order to better overcome fear, you might as well try the following methods. 1. Don't imagine that you might fail. For example, if you imagine that you might make a grammatical error, or suddenly stop speaking, these negative thoughts are likely to cause you to lose confidence before you even start. Take your attention away from yourself before you speak.Concentrate when listening to others and keep your attention on them so that it doesn't cause you undue stage dread. 2. Engage in proper self-motivation. Unless one has some lofty goal in mind and has dedicated his life to it, every speaker will have moments of doubt about his subject.He will ask himself whether the subject matter is suitable, whether the audience will be interested, etc.He may have changed the title on the spur of the moment.At times like this, when negative thoughts are likely to destroy your self-confidence, you should do some mental mobilization for yourself.Say to yourself in plain, straightforward words that your speech is suitable for you because it comes from your own experience, from your perception of life.Say to yourself that you are more qualified to give this special speech than anyone in the audience.And, you're going to go all out and make it clear.
When a person goes up the stairs, aiming at the 6th floor and the 12th floor respectively, the fatigue state will appear differently in the morning and evening.I've found that if you aim for tier 12, the fatigue state comes later.Because when you climb to the 6th floor, your subconscious mind will hint to yourself: There is still half of the effort!So you keep going up the stairs. What does this show?The self-suggestion brought about by the level of the goal directly determines the size of our behavioral ability.Furthermore, we can draw the conclusion that consciousness not only affects your mental state, but also directly affects your physiological state.This is the importance of psychological suggestion. You may still have some doubts, does self-suggestion really work?Yes.Modern experimental psychologists agree that motivation, even if feigned, by autosuggestion is one of the most powerful triggers for rapid learning.So, make positive autosuggestions to yourself. A young British lawyer was going to argue with a group of well-known lawyers in court. He had made sufficient preparations, but he still felt uneasy and worried that he would screw up the debate.So, he went to ask Mr. Faraday, and he asked Faraday: "My opponent knows much more than me, and I will definitely lose." Mr. Faraday told him simply and plainly: "If you want to succeed, tell yourself they don't know anything!" Many people will face the same problems as this young man, and their real difficulties do not lie in the two points mentioned above.Because the vast majority of us are not as unfortunate as Demosthenes, have no stuttering problems, and no other deficiencies. A survey in the United States shows that when contacting strangers at a banquet, about 3/4 of the people feel embarrassed; similarly, examples of speech or other speech failures caused by shyness or inferiority complex are common.It can be seen that a person has no self-confidence, not because he is really inferior by nature, but because he thinks so.Therefore, only by completely overcoming this feeling can you perform normally or even supernormally. All your preparations are for those few minutes of speaking.No matter how well-prepared you are, in general, a feeling of insecurity can strike you when speaking.This feeling could be caused by your fear that you are not quite ready - in fact you are quite ready but you think you might be missing something - or it could be that you are worried that the audience is at a higher level than you , and what you are saying is too simple for them; or you are worried that something unexpected may happen, such as someone interrupting you while you are speaking, etc.The deadliest thing these thoughts do is give you negative self-suggestions, and you have to figure out how to get them out of your mind. To be successful in public speaking, it is necessary to give yourself certain positive cues. Next I will give an example to prove the validity of this theory of psychological suggestion, this person is regarded as a symbol of courage.He had his moments of timidity, but he was determined to rely only on himself.So, after unremitting efforts, he finally became a respected warrior.He was Theodore Roosevelt who opposed the trusts, swayed the audience with his words, and waved the presidential scepter in his hand.In his autobiography, he wrote: "I was a sickly and clumsy child. When I was young, I was often in a state of tension and had no confidence in myself, so I had to train myself hard. This kind of training is not only physical, but also spiritual and spiritual." How did such a child become a warrior?He explained the reason in his autobiography: "I saw a passage in Mariere's book, which was very impressive, and I kept it in my heart all the time. This is a captain of a small British warship explaining to the protagonist how to stand upright, A passage about living without fear. He said that everyone is nervous and insecure when it comes to action in the first place. Pretending to be nothing. If you persevere in this way, the pretense will become reality. He just wanted to practice a strong will, but this practice turned him into a real brave man." "That's how I trained myself. In the beginning, I was afraid of everything from grizzly bears to wild horses and shotguns, but I tried to pretend I wasn't. Slowly, I stopped being afraid. People would, if they wanted to." Be like me," Roosevelt said. From the above examples, we can see that psychological suggestion can indeed bring us courage.Positive psychological hints can enable us to overcome fear and overcome difficulties, which is very beneficial to us in everything we do.Those who take on this challenge will find themselves transformed to enjoy a richer, better life.
In my class, many students sit together and talk about their experiences after finishing the study. Quite a few of them think that the most important thing they have learned is confidence in themselves.In other words, I have more confidence in my own success.In a way, nothing leads a person to success more than self-confidence. The Bedek Travel Guide says that amateur climbers should have a guide because climbing the Alps is difficult.But a few years ago, my friend and I came to the Wilder Kaiser in the Alps and wanted to conquer this legendary and dangerous mountain.First we state that neither of us are professional climbers, we did not consult guides, we succeeded. Before we climbed the mountain, a friend asked us if we could succeed, and I told him resolutely: "I will!" "Why so sure?" the friend continued to ask. I said, "There are men who have succeeded without a guide, as we have. And I never think of failure in anything I do." So, how should specific operation develop self-confidence?You can follow the training methods below to improve your self-confidence in a targeted manner. 1. Be fully prepared and build the confidence to succeed. William James, the most famous psychologist in the United States, said: "Action seems to follow the feeling, but in fact it is parallel to the feeling. Action is directly controlled by the idea, and the action is controlled by the idea. We also Feelings can be controlled indirectly, but feelings are not directly controlled by thoughts. Therefore, if we lose our original natural happiness, then the best way to make yourself happy is to sit down happily, Act like you're happy already. If that doesn't make you happy, there's no other way. So make yourself feel brave and act like you're really brave, and use your All your will to achieve this goal, then courage may well replace fear." A person achieves the goal of successful persuasion, which has a lot to do with the preparations made before speaking.Lincoln said: "Even the most powerful person can't speak in a systematic and high-level way without careful preparation." Therefore, you need to collect materials extensively before speaking, and conduct in-depth and detailed research on your topic. Thinking.When you've confirmed that you're ready, imagine yourself speaking to someone in complete control.This is something you can easily do.You will succeed only if you believe that you can succeed, and if you believe in yourself unwaveringly. Remember William James' advice, to develop confidence and courage, act as if you really do have that confidence and courage in front of your audience. (Of course, the premise is that you must be fully prepared, otherwise no amount of performance will work.) The first way to build confidence is if you already know what you are going to say, you should stride onto the stage with ease and take a deep breath.Breathing deeply for 30 seconds can refresh you, give you confidence and courage.The famous tenor Jean de Raschi used to say, "When you have air in your chest, the tension goes away." Another way is to stand up straight, look your audience in the eye, and speak with confidence, as if everyone owes you money and they're just asking for grace to pay their debt.This psychological effect will greatly help you stabilize your emotions. If we can overcome our fear of speaking in public, it can have a huge, subtle effect on everything else we do.Those who take on this challenge will find themselves on the way to perfection, conquering the fear of public speaking, and transforming themselves into a richer, more fulfilling life. A student salesman in my class once put it this way: "After standing up a few times in class, I felt like I could handle anyone. One morning, I found a buyer who was usually aggressive. Before he had time to say 'No', I had samples spread out on his desk. As it turned out, he gave me the biggest order yet!" A housewife also told me: "I used to be afraid to invite my neighbors to my house because I was afraid that we wouldn't be able to have a good conversation and jokes. But after several lectures and standing up to speak, I decided to have a family dinner. The banquet was very successful, and I walked among the guests, chatting and laughing with them to my heart's content." At another graduating class’s evening party, a clerk said: “At first, I was afraid to talk to customers, and I was always terrified every time. After speaking a few times in the class, I felt confident, and talking to customers was also easy. I took it easy. I started to speak up and disagree. In the first month after I took speech classes, my sales increased by nearly half.” Through this effective training, the trainees realized that they had easily overcome their fear or anxiety; that they had succeeded where they might have failed before.They gain confidence from speaking in public and allow themselves to face each day's offerings with confidence. You, too, can gain this sense of triumph and meet life's challenges.If you can do this, problems that once terrified you can become enjoyable challenges that spice up your life. 2. Conduct corrective training for your own deficiencies. If there are indeed some deficiencies, you can carry out targeted training to overcome these difficulties and deficiencies, so as to build self-confidence. Demosthenes, who ranked first among the "Ten Great Speakers" in ancient Greece, had a stuttering problem since he was a child, and when he spoke, he always had one shoulder high and the other shoulder low, and he kept shaking.In such an era that advocates eloquence, such people will naturally be discriminated against.He was very distressed and had a deep sense of inferiority.However, he was not overwhelmed by inferiority complex, but trained hard with extraordinary perseverance and hard-working spirit.Every morning he stands by the seaside, practicing with a stone in his mouth.In response to the problem of shaking, he practiced in front of the mirror and hung two swords on his shoulders so that he would not shake.After assiduous training, he became, as we now know, a very good and respected orator.
Everyone wants to speak eloquently in front of everyone, and has an enviable conversational skill.But many people end up complaining like this: "I also know that I need to muster courage, but when I want to speak, it seems that it is not easy to do." This problem is what most people will encounter when speaking. question.So, let's talk about how to have courage. Mr. Gu Liqu, chairman of Gu Liqu Company, came to my office one day.He said to me: "I have never been afraid to speak up in my life. But as the chairman, I have to chair the meeting. Although I have known the directors for many years, when I stand up and speak, I Just can't say a word. It's been years since I've been that way, and I'm so sick. Mr. Carnegie, I find it hard to believe that you can help me out of it." "In that case, why are you still looking for me?" I asked him. "This is because of such a thing happened." Mr. Gu Liqu replied, "One of my accountants turned out to be a shy person. Before he walked into his own office, he had to go through my office. Before he All looking at the floor, not saying a word, and tiptoeing past my office. But recently, that has changed. Now he always has his jaw up, his eyes sparkle, and he says hello to me , which surprised me. I asked him, 'Who changed you?' and he told me, 'Mr. Carnegie. I couldn't believe it, so I came to you.'" "If you want to change like this accountant," I told him, "you can take regular classes." "If you can really make me talk without being afraid," said Mr. Gulliver, "I shall be the happiest man I can be." Sure enough, Mr. Gu Liqu came to participate in our training.In fact, he's making rapid progress. One day three months later, I invited him to a party of 3,000 people in the ballroom of the Astor Hotel, and invited him to talk to the guests about the experience of attending Carnegie's eloquence training class.He was sorry to say he couldn't come because he had an important appointment scheduled.But, the next day, he called me again and said, "Mr. Carnegie, I've canceled my appointment. I must come to this party because I owe you that. I'm going to tell people the Carnegie Eloquence Class for me. It has really turned me into the happiest person in the world. I hope my story can inspire people to let go of the fear that takes their lives away." At the party, Mr. Gu Liqu talked to 3,000 people for more than 10 minutes, but I only asked him to talk for 2 minutes.When the audience was moved by his wonderful speech, who would have thought that he would be terrified when he spoke? If you wish to be like Mr. Gu Liqu, you too can master this art in a short time.In fact, as Mr. Gu Liqu wanted to tell people in his speech, you can fully realize from his experience that speaking is not a difficult thing.That said, you can use his experience to build your own courage.When you can't speak because of fear, you can think: "Since Mr. Gu Liqu can do it, I can do it too." When we talk to those important people, conduct business negotiations, or even just in ordinary conversations with people, if you feel very shy, you can borrow other people's experience to summon up your courage; at different times, you can Think of corresponding stories to achieve the purpose of mustering up your courage. I once conducted a survey of those good talkers, and found that almost all of them were shy at one time, and even now—as I said earlier—when they express their opinions, negotiate or persuade The nervousness has not been completely eliminated.Andrew Carnegie, the steel magnate who moved freely in the social arena, often said to people: "Although I am shy by nature, I try to make myself a good talker." I hope you will have the opportunity to visit my home and I will show you the thank you notes I have received from all over the world.Some of the people who wrote the letters were business leaders, some were governors, members of Congress, university presidents and stars in the entertainment industry, and more were business executives, workers, union members, college students, housewives, pastors, etc. They are ordinary people who are unknown to the public. What they have in common is that they all feel that they need to express their opinions and communicate with others in order to be understood and accepted by others, but they lack enough courage and self-confidence—that is, they are not good at words at first .It is precisely because they have achieved certain results and achieved their goals that they are grateful and wrote to me to express their gratitude. So when you need the courage to speak at a drinking party or negotiate with your client—indeed, any time you need to be eloquent—you can use the experience of others to motivate yourself.Whenever you're feeling intimidated, ask yourself, "If they've all been successful, why can't I?"
When George Bernard Shaw introduced his experience in improving eloquence to others, he said: "I borrowed from my own method of learning ice skating-I made myself look stupid until I learned it." Whether you want to be an excellent speaker like George Bernard Shaw, Whether you just want to take your time speaking in front of people, you should take every opportunity to practice and try to "make a fool of yourself". We all know that one can never learn to swim if one does not get into the water.The same goes for the ability to speak.No matter how much you learn about eloquence or about pronunciation, you can't learn it if you don't speak.In all the examples of good talkers I gave earlier, if they didn't talk often and didn't think about how to talk better, they couldn't be successful. After World War I, the curriculum I taught at the Young Christians on 125th Street changed from what it had been.Every year I add new ideas to the curriculum and some old ones get thrown out.But one thing has not changed, that is, every student in the training class is required to speak in public at least once, and more often at least twice.I don't think you'll ever learn how to speak if you don't practice it a lot.Therefore, this book is only a guide for you, and you have to have your own practice. Everyone will have an ideal self-image, and hope that others will see themselves in a favorable light.When he comes into contact with a stranger, interacts with the opposite sex, talks with authority figures, or speaks in public, he will involuntarily realize that his self-image is facing some kind of threat, worrying that he will make mistakes and make a fool of himself in public. Fear that others will say that I am "stupid", "not good enough" or "pushing", "good performance", etc.Many people are reluctant to speak because of the uncertainty of the possible consequences of speaking.This worry is completely unnecessary.You know, even if you don't say yes, the sky will never fall, and no one will blame you. When you speak, you may not even know what point you want to express at first, let alone the literary grace and embellishment, but it is not a big deal.The most important thing is that you have managed to speak, and if you can keep at it, that's what you need to care about next.No matter how profound your knowledge and how wise your brain is, don't expect to be able to express it clearly to others at the beginning.Any successful talker has come from this step. "I understand all the reasons you said," a young business executive student said to me once, "but I still hesitate. I seem to be afraid of the difficulties and trials of learning." "What is the difficulty, what is the trial?" I said, "throw away these thoughts quickly! Why can't you look at the matter with a right conquering spirit?" "What spirit is that?" he asked. "Adventurous," I said.Then I talked to him about some examples of success through speaking, and good changes in his personality have also taken place. "I'm going to try it, and I'm going to take on this adventure," he concluded. The book you are reading is a book about risky action.As you continue to read this book and plan to put it into practice, you are also taking on the same adventure as he did.You will find that your self-direction skills and keen observation skills will help you in this adventure; you will also find that this adventure will change you from the inside out.
Many people fail not because they lack good education or opportunities, but because they lack firm belief and determination.Faith power determines destiny, and faith power controls life.As long as a person has strong faith, he can inspire people's willpower to overcome difficulties.In this section, I will specifically talk about the issue of belief power.A strong belief requires us to concentrate in the process of hard work, to have the tenacity not to give up until the goal is reached, and the indomitable spirit to overcome difficulties. British political activist and novelist Edward Lipton was a success.He visited many places in his life, saw a wide range, and actively participated in political activities and various social affairs; in addition, he also published 60 books, and these topics required in-depth research. People were surprised that he still had time to study while he was busy all day long, so they asked him: "You have finished so many writings in such a busy schedule. Could it be that you have the skill of avatar?" Of course Edward does not have avatar skills, what he possesses is a strong willpower.He usually spends 3 hours a day or less researching, reading, and writing, but he makes the most of those 3 hours.During these hours, he devoted himself fully to his study and research, with extremely single-mindedness.It is this strong willpower that enabled him to achieve great achievements in a small amount of time. In the process of working to improve our eloquence, we also need to train like Edward Lipton.Because only by making full use of your limited time and concentrating on improving your eloquence can you finally succeed. During the initial training, you will inevitably encounter setbacks and difficulties.These difficulties can be traumatic to varying degrees and can shake your confidence. When you encounter difficulties, don't think about why there are these problems, because there are already these problems.You know, nothing in the world can replace belief.Many people have talents but fail because of lack of belief.We must believe that the most difficult time is when we are not far from success.The secret of success is actually very simple, that is, we cannot allow ourselves to be a little bit discouraged at any time. Let me cite another story of a business legend named Clarence B. Randall, who is now at the top of the corporate ladder. When Mr. Randall stood up to speak for the first time in college, he failed, like so many people, because he was not good at words.At that time, the teacher stipulated that everyone had 5 minutes to speak, but he turned pale when he was less than halfway through the speech, and had to walk off the podium in embarrassment. However, although Mr. Randall has such an experience, he is not reconciled to failure.He was determined to become a good talker, and he has been working tirelessly, and finally became the government's economic adviser, admired by the world. "I think I understand what the audience wants to hear and how they want it to be said," Randall said. "The trick here, as a speaker, is that there is nothing you can't learn if you're willing to learn it." .” Determination and belief in success are the key factors that determine whether you can become a master speaker. This is the experience and inspiration that can be obtained from Randall's story.If I know your mind, the strength of your will, and your optimism, I can predict exactly how quickly you will improve your public speaking skills.
Allyn, President of the National Cash Register Company Board of Governors and President of UNESCO, wrote an article in Speech Quarterly entitled "Speech and Leadership Relationships in Business," he said: "In our business line of work, many people are recognized for their excellence in the pulpit. Many years ago, there was a young man, then a Kansas The director of a small branch, after giving a wonderful speech, is our vice president today, in charge of business development." And I happened to know that the vice president the president mentioned is the current American president. President of the National Cash Register Company. Being able to stand in front of a group of people and speak calmly will make your future limitless.One of our graduates, Henry Blackstone, is the president of the American Schaefer Corporation.He said: "Effective communication with people and winning the cooperation of others is an important ability that we can develop in the workplace." Imagine the satisfaction and relief you feel when you are confident enough to get up and share your thoughts and feelings with your audience.I have traveled the world many times, and although I have seen a lot, I think there is no experience that is more intoxicating than the joy of manipulating an audience through the power of words.This experience will give you a sense of power, a sense of strength. 有个毕业生说：“开始说话前两分钟，我宁愿挨鞭子，就是开不了口；可是说到临结束的前两分钟时，我又宁可吃枪子儿也不愿意停下来。” 现在就开始想象自己面对着一大群听众，想着自己满怀信心，迈步向前，听听你开讲后的全场鸦雀无声，感觉一下在你针针见血之际听众的全神贯注，感受一下你离开讲台时掌声的温馨；并听听聚会结束后个别听众对你的赞赏。 钢铁大王卡内基死后，人们在他的遗物中发现了他32岁时所拟定的计划。他当时准备退休后到牛津大学接受完全的教育，并“特别注意于公开演说的学习”。那么，人们为什么要致力于提高自己的说话能力呢？也就是说，究竟说话的成功对人们有什么重要的意义呢？ 我们不妨想象一下：面对多得难以计数的听众，自信满满地走上讲台，听听开场后全场的鸦雀无声，感觉一下听众被你的深入浅出、幽默诙谐的演说所深深吸引时的那种全神贯注，体会一下听众对你报以经久不息的雷鸣般的掌声时的成就感，然后你带着微笑接受大家对你的赞赏…… 当然，提高自己的说话能力的好处，并不只是可以在正式场合发表成功的演说。继续想象一下：依靠你的口才，通过与对方机智地谈判，你赢得了一笔数额巨大的业务；依靠幽默和富有气质的口才魅力，你赢得了心仪的女孩的欢心，并且与她共同迈进了婚姻的殿堂；依靠极具说服力的口才，你使一个国家停止了对另一个国家使用武力，使亿万人民避免了战争的灾难，你受到了人们的尊敬……还有什么比这更加吸引人的呢？ 学习高效能地对人群讲话，好处还不止于可以让你做正式的公开演讲。事实上，就算你终生都不需要做正式公开演讲，接受这种训练的好处仍是多方面的。