Chapter 3 Chapter 2 How to Express Confidently in Public
Create a unique personal style, highlighting the expressive charm that belongs to you:
Our every movement, look, and even every word we say expresses our unique personality and style.When we start speaking on the podium, banquet, interview, and negotiation table, we will feel unprecedented relaxation, confidence and satisfaction because we have mastered the superb art of speaking.This is the characteristic of people who are good at influencing others—every word and every sentence they say has their own style, and it reaches the ear of the other party clearly and accurately, so the other party is deeply attracted.
Voice is the carrier of the content of your speech. Your voice reflects your feeling, your mood and current state. It is a powerful and indispensable tool in your speaking.Great talkers are always good at establishing their own speaking style. Their voices are different, their intonations are lively and interesting, their manners are just right...everything related to them can reflect their characteristics.These are the only styles that are of real value to the talker.In order to have your own speaking style, you need to go through a series of important basic training. There are many vocal structures and body parts that we use when communicating our thoughts to our audience.We do this by shrugging our shoulders, waving our arms, frowning, raising the volume, changing pitch and pitch, and changing the rate of speech to produce different sounds depending on the situation and subject matter.It should be noted that what I am emphasizing is the effect of the sound and not the production of the sound, that is, the physical quality.Those things cannot be changed, and the sound effect is affected by the speaker's mood and state. This is one of the reasons why I emphasize that the speaker must be enthusiastic.Therefore, you need to be different from the beginning. Unfortunately, most of us lose the innocence and spontaneity of our childhood as we grow older, unknowingly falling into certain patterns of communication that we are used to.This makes our speech more and more lifeless.What's more, we're also less and less likely to use hand gestures, and stop raising and lowering our voices in rhythmic rhythms.In short, we are gradually losing the liveliness and spontaneity of our real conversations, our unique, individual selves. In life, we have too many incorrect habits that need to be corrected. For example, we may have developed the habit of speaking too fast or too slowly; our words will be very scattered if we are not careful.I always emphasize that you need to be natural when you speak, and you may mistakenly think that you can choose words randomly or express in a boring way-as long as you are natural.actually not.I ask everyone to speak naturally, because I want you to express your thoughts completely in words.From another point of view, a good talker will never think that he can no longer increase his vocabulary, use imagination and diction, change the form of expression and enhance the effect of expression.These are what people who pursue excellence are willing to do. For those who are eager to learn speaking skills, they must first learn to shape their own speaking style. You'd better pay attention to the changes in your volume, pitch and speaking speed, which is of great practical value.You can do this by recording what you say, asking a friend to point it out to you, or even better, having an expert guide you.However, these are exercises without a speaking partner, which is completely different from actual speaking.Once you are in front of people, you have to put all your energy into speaking to resonate with them. One day, shortly after the First World War, I wandered into Hyde Park and walked up to Marble Arch—I knew there were always various people talking there on various religious and political topics, and wanted to hear Listen to their conversation.I saw a Catholic explaining the infallibility of the Pope to people, and then I heard a socialist comment on Karl Marx.Finally, I also listened to a man's discourse on polygamy. I noticed a change in the audience size around the three keynote speakers.At the beginning, the polygamist speaker had the largest audience, but later, his audience dwindled, while the people around the other two speakers grew.Do you know why?Is it because of the topic? I did research on this issue.I found that the advocate of polygamy did not seem to have much interest in getting three or four wives himself, and his tone of voice sounded so unhappy that people thought he was boring; Opinionated Catholics and socialists, they were all in the middle of their speeches—they were high-spirited and flailing their arms, their voices were high and full of conviction, they radiated enthusiasm and anger, and this enthusiasm infected people.It turned out that it was the different attitudes and intonations of the speakers that caused the changes in the audience. Intonation is the combination of the speaker's tone and tone of voice, which expresses the emotion contained in the speech.When speaking, you need to let the tone of voice show more information than the specific content of your speech, or that the intonation is actually part of the content of your speech.For example, when your words sound sincere, you are actually saying to the other person: "What I think is what I say, what I say is what I think, and what I do is actually to you Respect." In this way, the other party will naturally believe what you say more. I am sure you have heard speeches similar to this polygamous speaker, whose tone is flat, stiff, and without passion, who show little interest in the subject they are addressing, as if they were feebly reading from a manuscript Same.Does this way of speaking appeal to you?Of course not. Why is the topic discussed by many people very attractive, but it does not have the expected effect?In fact, tone of voice conveys far more information than we think.The tone of voice, like the expression of the speaker, conveys the appeal of a certain meaning to the other party.When you hear a person's phone call, if his tone is enthusiastic, then you can tell that he is very happy even if you haven't seen him; but if his tone is very flat, then even if he tells you something to be happy You will also think that there is nothing to be happy about. People who know how to speak can not only shape their own individual voices to make them pleasant to hear, but also their tone and intonation are very contagious, always able to touch people's heartstrings and arouse the resonance of the other party.It is said that an Italian actor recited Arabic numerals in a sad tone, and the audience was moved to tears, while a Chinese artist recited recipes as beautiful as poetry.Another example is an ordinary modal particle—ah, using different intonations, it can express many meanings such as "I understand", "I didn't hear clearly", "surprised", "I finally got it"—this is exactly what it means. It is the tone of voice that makes your speech expressive. Many people have such a wrong understanding. They think that intonation, like voice, is innate, and they don't realize that there is a problem with their intonation.The problem to be noted is that this inappropriate voice will make the other party very numb, and at the same time lose their attention to the content of the speech, so that they have no mind to think about the content of your speech, while a voice with a tone of voice will have the exact opposite effect. We fall into such a misunderstanding that many times we spend more time finding out what to say, but in the end it is our tone of voice that messes us up.Pick up the handset and hear a word "Hello", no need to say anything more, from this word, we already know whether our boyfriend is still passionate about us, whether our mother has not slept well, whether our friends Have you successfully passed the exam... so much information, all in such a change of voice - intonation. "The voice is the music of the body, and the intonation is the music of the soul" is quite true.When we are sad, our tone is pale and empty; after a night of partying, our tone is limp; Have you noticed the tone of your voice?Is it impassioned, or cadenced?Or is it peaceful and soothing?Choose the right occasion and use your intonation well, so that your voice can also express rich expressions. Second, you have to choose your speaking voice - it all depends on your personality, the situation and the feelings you want to convey.Normally, your pronunciation should be crisp and loud.When you speak clearly, you appear confident, purposeful, and expressive, which will give the other person a sense of poise.In public, if other people's conversation is in the stage of endless debate, you stand up and say a word, the sentence is short and the voice is loud, it will have a shocking effect. How do you control the volume of your speaking?Do you speak in a voice that everyone can hear - I mean your voice is loud enough and clear.This may be easier for you to do if you are in a sit-down conversation between two or three people.In fact, if your volume is too loud at this time, it will make people think that you are arguing with others.However, if you are facing hundreds or thousands of audiences, such as standing in a square and giving a speech, you should try to reach as many people as possible.Because, if they don't hear it, they ignore what you said instead of reminding you to speak up or retell it.Therefore, you need to adjust your volume according to the situation. Note that the change in accent will change the meaning of what you are trying to express.When you need to emphasize a certain point, you can increase the volume appropriately.Raising the volume in an important place can attract everyone's attention.Of course, sometimes lowering the volume appropriately can also enable you to achieve this goal.You have to keep this in mind, in any situation, the change of volume can make you focus. Let's take a look at how Lincoln cleverly used the change of accent to save himself. Once, Lincoln was cleaning his boots with his head down, and happened to be seen by a foreign diplomat. He mocked Lincoln and said: "Mr. President, do you often polish your boots?" "Yes," Lincoln replied, "whom do you often shine boots for?" Lincoln's words cleverly shifted the accent of the other party, freed himself from the situation of being ridiculed, and put the other party in an embarrassing situation.If you can skillfully shift the accent of others' speech, you can also create a sense of humor and resolve unnecessary troubles. In addition, the change of the sound can be full of changes and layers, and the level of the sound will affect the mood of the listener.Who wants to hear such a high-pitched voice if you've been speaking in a high pitched voice?Also, when you generally use treble, your voice will appear too monotonous.Therefore, you have to change in pitch, which can make your voice pleasant and more dynamic.Like adjusting the volume, changing your voice allows you to be more active in conveying your message when it comes to clarifying a point.You can take a slightly higher or lower voice to show how much you value a point. When we usually talk with people, the voice will fluctuate constantly, just like the sea constantly rises and falls.Why is this so?Nobody knows, and nobody cares.But it's clearly pleasurable in this way, and it's also a very natural way.However, when we start some kind of formal speech, our voice becomes dry, flat and monotonous, like a desert.When you find yourself in the above situation, stop and reflect. For the control of speech and voice, we need the following points. First, you must make the other person feel that you are very confident in what you have to say.When your voice trembles or hesitates, the other person will think that you are not sure about what you are saying.If you are not sure about what you are saying, how can you ask the other party to be interested in it? Second, don't make it sound like you're talking to yourself.Voices that are too low or inarticulate can also sound like you're unsure.You may not have intended for the other person to hear these words of yours, but they hear them vaguely and don't know what you are talking about, and they will become suspicious and guess that you are saying something that is not good for them. Third, if your teeth are clenched together, or worse, your lips are clenched like a ventriloquist, there is no doubt that you are speaking nasally.The biggest problem with nasal speaking is slurred pronunciation.In this way, the other party will think that you are complaining, and you will look dull and lifeless, very negative. Fourth, if your voice is like the braking sound of an airplane landing, the other party will find you very annoying, so they won't listen to you.Loud voices can make your speech aggressive, and they will think you are in a position of overwhelming and intimidating them, which is not what they want.So, when you shout for everyone to listen to you, no one will listen to you. Fifth, you may cause such a situation: When you reach the end of a sentence or a key point, your voice will slowly lower, and finally disappear.This can make sentences sound incomplete.You have to believe that the other party will not be willing to guess what you said later. Sixth, if you want to have a pleasant voice, it is best not to mix with local accents.Of course, if you do use it, you have to use some method to emphasize it, and not make people think that your pronunciation is not standard. Seventh, no matter what your intention is, it is ultimately expressed through sound.Therefore, if your voice contains arrogance, contempt, or other negative emotional elements, you can hurt the listener or make others feel disrespected. When you're in a negative state, if you mix it into your voice, people will imagine it's much worse than it really is and distract themselves.For example, your slight frustration may be interpreted as hysteria, while your disappointment may be interpreted as despair.Therefore, you must show your adjusted emotion in your tone of voice in order to attract the other person's attention in a positive way.
If you want to win in an argument, you have to improve your words in a variety of more acceptable ways, to give it more weight, and to make people believe you more.And this method is commonly referred to as rhetoric.If you pay attention, you will find that the reason why lawyers are eloquent is because they often use it. The rhetoric we usually use is as follows, and I will give a brief explanation here. 1. Metaphor: "The kingdom of heaven is like yeast, and they put it in the cornmeal, and it will all ferment..." "The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for pearls..." "The kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea..." "Heaven" may not be familiar to people, but yeast, merchants, and the net are things that are familiar to everyone.It is the use of these wonderful and appropriate metaphors that help people understand the speaker's meaning more easily. These words are a very good way of explaining the "Kingdom of Heaven", that is, using what people are familiar with to explain what they are not familiar with. The reason why metaphors are more acceptable, more vivid, and more persuasive is that it is easier for people to understand when comparing the two similarities. 2. Exaggeration: When speaking, if you want to emphasize a certain point, it is very good to use some exaggeration when appropriate.Do you sometimes do that too?When you want the other person to be faster, you may say to him: "I hope I won't become a 'mummy' when you finish it!" Not "mummy", but you're clearly exaggerating. In fact, this rhetorical method is to stimulate other people's nerves, so that others consider what you think the other party's behavior may have serious consequences.For example, you might say, "It's like opening Pandora's box when you do this," and he's sure to know what you mean by that. 3. Repeat: Repeating the same meaning with the same rhythm, this rhetorical method is called repetition. The beauty of this rhetorical approach is that not only will you be able to grab the audience's attention so they know what your main point is, but you will also be able to integrate your main idea with the overall speech. For example, an orator, speaking of a department, says: "This system, with its poor public services, employs far more people than factories." "The system, it has a nosy flaw, ready to meddle in your business affairs and your private life at all times." "This system, it eats up nearly half of the country's budget." Through this rhetorical back and forth, the orator convinced his audience that there were indeed many problems with the department and that it badly needed reform. 4. Quote: We often use the rhetorical method of "quoting from the classics" to strengthen persuasion. In fact, this rhetorical method is the one we use most often.I often quote a lot of famous orators (such as Lincoln) and students' stories in this book to illustrate my point of view, and it turns out that this has indeed received very good results. Sometimes, we don't intend to quote a long story, but just choose a certain sentence or even a certain word that someone said. There is also such a situation, sometimes we quote an old saying (such as an old saying in China) or a common saying to illustrate our point of view, which is also very effective.Quoting is not only simple and effective, but it will make your words more persuasive. 5. Rhetorical question: When you are expressing a point of view, on the one hand, you think the facts are clearly like this; on the other hand, you may not need the audience to answer this question, then you may say: "Isn't it so?" The rhetorical method is rhetorical questioning.The rhetorical method of rhetorical questions is just to draw the audience's attention to your question, and it is often used in conclusions and transitions. However, the role of rhetorical questions is far more than that, let us look at a story. Once, the great Napoleon proudly said to his secretary: "Brian, do you know? You will be immortal." Briand didn't understand what he meant, and asked Napoleon why he said that. Napoleon said: "Aren't you my secretary?" After Briand understood, he said to Napoleon not to be outdone, "Excuse me, who is Alexander's secretary?" Napoleon did not answer, he praised Briand and said: "Good question!" Do you understand the mystery of this conversation?Napoleon meant that Brion would be famous because he was his secretary.However, Brion said that he was unwilling to rely on others to be famous, so he asked Napoleon such a sentence.He asked Napoleon what he meant by saying that the secretary of a great man does not necessarily have to be famous.However, because Napoleon was his coach, he could not directly refute Napoleon's point of view, so he cleverly expressed his point of view with rhetorical questions. Sometimes, rhetorical questions can express more meaning.Just like Napoleon's secretary, if you want to convince someone, the best way is to ask the question with examples, which is more convincing than a positive debate. 6. Contrast: Contrast means listing two opposite or opposing things at the same time.Contrast can really make the original plain words wonderful and make you very eloquent.Let's first look at how Charles Dickens skillfully uses the rhetorical device of contrast in the novel: "It was the best of times and it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom and it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of faith and it was the epoch of doubt; it was the season of light and it was the season of darkness; it was hope The spring of spring is also the winter of despair. In front of us, there are mountains of piles and nothing. We are all going to heaven, and we are all going to hell..." how does it soundIsn't it very touching?You also hope that such beautiful and persuasive sentences will appear in your words!Don't worry about why this rhetorical method works the way it does. These questions can be left to the linguists or psychologists to answer. Just know that it works and use it as much as possible. When you encourage everyone to complete the task as soon as possible, you can say: "Let's stop talking and start acting." And when you remind everyone not to waste food, you can say: "You are indeed full now, but this There are many starving people in the world.” If you need more examples, you can find and summarize them yourself. 7. Parallel ratio: "We are here to say firmly: let their deaths count; let this nation, under the blessing of God, be given a new life of freedom; let the government of the people, by the people, and for the people not disappear from this earth." This is the last part of Lincoln's famous Gettysburg Address, where Lincoln uses parallelism.This makes the original bland words become vivid and powerful, which has a great appeal to the audience. Parallelism is to arrange two or more word organizations or sentences with related or similar meanings, similar structures and the same tone to achieve an effect of strengthening the language.Parallelism is applicable to any topic—it can make it clear when reasoning, and it can make it rhythmic and emotional when it is lyrical. In short, the use of parallelism can make your words catchy and persuasive.
The information conveyed by non-verbal information is more connotative than language itself.When Cohenden wrote his biography for Lincoln, he used these words to describe him: "Lincoln preferred to use his head for gestures, and he would shake his head a lot. This movement was especially noticeable when he wanted to emphasize a point. Sometimes, this movement would stop abruptly... as the speech progressed. As he goes on, his movements will become more and more random until they reach perfection. He has a sense of spontaneity and character all his own, which makes him noble. He despises vanity, ostentation, and affectation... Sometimes, out of joy, he will hold his hands up at about 50 degrees, palms up, and look like he's embracing that emotion. When he wants to show his disgust — like slavery — he'll raise his arms, clenched his fists, and wave it in the air , showing a strong sense of disgust. This is his most effective gesture and shows his strongest determination. It looks like he is going to tear these things off and burn them. He always stands very neatly, with his feet on the same level , will never step forward and backward, and will never lean on something. Throughout the speech, his posture and demeanor only slightly change. Walking around. He also sometimes grasps his collar with his left hand, thumb up, to make his arms easier, and gestures with his right hand only." The information presented by Lincoln's body language is so rich that Saint-Goddess also sculpted a statue of Lincoln based on a gesture of Lincoln's speech, which stands in Lincoln Park.Of course, you don't have to imitate Lincoln's posture, but you do need to pay attention to your posture. Your posture, including the messages conveyed by your expressions, posture and gestures, constitutes your body language.The rich meaning and persuasive effect of this kind of information become the display of your personality charm and penetrate into the hearts of the people as your unique image. You need to perfect and enrich your posture, and you can do it from the following aspects. 1. Facial expressions. Facial expressions are extremely rich in meaning.It is often said that the eyes are the windows of the soul, then the face is the appearance of the soul, and all your emotions are written on your face—if you are not a person who is good at controlling emotions.Regardless, you can, and often will, convey a lot more with emoticons. There are joys, sorrows and joys in facial expressions, but for the speaker, generally the most important facial expression is a smile, which is the simplest and most effective way to shorten the distance between you and the other party.Of course, there are more expressions, it depends on what you say. 2. Body posture. If you must sit facing the other person, you must pay attention to your sitting posture.Don't look around, that's very much like an animal looking for a place to lie down for the night, rather than being more interested in talking to the other person. While you're sitting down, don't play with your clothes or anything else, it's distracting, and it makes you look insecure and lacking in self-control.So, you have to stay still and control your body. When you're about to speak, whether you're standing or sitting, stick out your chest and look confident.Don't wait until you're facing the audience to do this, you need to do it every day. Rosser Gurico said in the book "Highly Efficient Living" that nowadays, no one in 10 people can find a person who can keep himself in the best condition.It can be seen that many people have not yet realized the importance of body posture for speaking.He suggested that we should pay attention to the practice in this area, and "keep your neck tightly against the collar" when speaking. 3. Gestures. Sign language is the earliest communication tool used by human beings in the long evolutionary process. Sign language is a silent language that uses changes in the movements of fingers, palms and arms to convey information.It is used in a wide range, convenient, flexible, and varied. It can not only assist spoken language, but sometimes even replace it.Because of this, some people call sign language the "second language" of human beings. Gestures are the freest and most powerful form of body language, and for this reason, people are also often the easiest to make mistakes.I'm going to focus on sign language, mostly when you're standing and talking. So how should you make good use of your hands when speaking?When you start talking, it's best to forget about your hand, you don't have to worry about losing it.They hang naturally at the sides of the body, which is the best kind of posture.Of course, you'll remember to use them to make the proper gesture when needed. Most people probably hold a position where they either put their hands behind their backs, or in their pockets, or on a table, because it reduces your tension.At this time, you don't need to care about it.Many people do it, even a great president like Roosevelt sometimes does it, as if the gesture had a great allure. In my teaching career, I used to teach my students how to adopt the posture according to what the textbook said.I just copied the theories that the teacher instilled in me, thus developing some bad habits.I will never forget my first speech class. The teacher asked me to hang my arms gently by my sides, palms facing back, all fingers curled in half, thumbs touching thighs.Then, I raise my arm and draw an arc to allow the wrist to turn gracefully.Next, I spread my index finger, then my middle finger, and finally my little finger.When I have completed this seemingly perfect set of movements, the arms have to return to the arc just now, and then put them on the sides of the body. In fact, this rigid set of movements is of no use when I am speaking, but I use it to teach my students.Once, I saw 20 people doing such poses at the same time, and they all made movements mechanically like typewriters, which looked ridiculous.In fact, there has never been a standard set of gestures that is suitable for all speakers, except some experience.Each one is nurtured from within and according to their own thoughts and interests.The only gestures of value are the ones you learned naturally. Gestures are completely different from clothes, which can be put on and off, but gestures are from the heart, like a laugh, a stomachache, or seasickness.A person's gestures are his personal things. When speaking, the politician Brian would often hold out a hand and spread the palm; Graystone would often slap the table or stomp the floor loudly; Swipe down hard.These orators had deep thoughts and strong convictions, and all made their gestures powerful and natural.Naturalness and vitality are the best expressions of action.We can neither learn to walk—the tall, slow-moving Lincoln cannot use the gestures of the dapper, quick-moving Douglas, nor can we force ourselves into certain poses. Years ago, I had the privilege of hearing the preaching of Gypsy Smith—he converted thousands of people to Christ.The gestures he uses are natural, not at all artificial.As you practice applying these principles, you will find that you are making your gestures in this way.I cannot give you any law to follow, for it all depends on the temperament of the speaker, his enthusiasm and personality, his preparation, and the subject, object, and circumstances of the occasion. That being the case, we just need to play as we please, only the impulses and desires in your heart are the most trustworthy, and the guidance from these things is the most important. But you still need to pay attention to the following points to better enhance your speaking power and shape your perfect image. (1) Don't repeat the same gesture too much, it will give you a boring impression. (2) Don't make short jerky movements with the elbows, the movements from the shoulders look much better. (3) The gesture should not end too quickly. (4) Your posture will affect the other party's judgment of you, so please try to use a positive posture. (5) The most natural posture is the most correct. Be careful not to use artificial postures or expressions. (6) A pleasant facial expression makes you appear honest and friendly.
Another person's style can never be perfectly reflected in us, and this is something we must keep in mind.We are always envious of certain orators who incorporate performance into speech, express themselves without difficulty, and have the flexibility to say what is on their minds in their own unique and charismatic way.The most important point here is the attitude when speaking. You must know that "what to say" and "how to say it" are two different things and must not be confused with each other. I sat next to a young lady at a public recital.When the famous pianist Paderewski played one of Chopin's dances, she was also looking at the score.To her bewilderment, Paderewski's fingers struck the exact same notes on the piano as she did the dance, yet her performance was far less impressive than Paderewski's. Fascinated, so beautiful. The key here is not the note, but the way it is played.It is the feeling, artistry, and personality that Paderewski puts into his playing that make the difference between a genius and a mortal.Similarly, when the Russian painting master Brulov made some revisions to the work of one of his students, the student looked at the picture in amazement and exclaimed: "Ah! You only changed a little, But it's totally different!" Brulov said, "True art consists in a little change." Talking is the same as painting and playing the piano.There is no one else in this world exactly like you; likewise, there is no one else who thinks and thinks exactly like you, and few people can talk and express themselves the way you do.This is your unique personality trait. As a speaker, this is your most valuable asset.Be sure to grab it, cherish it, and work on it, it will give your speech great power. "This is the only and true proof of your personality".Please remember, don't put yourself into a mold and obliterate your own personality.It is precisely because these successful master speakers have brought their unique talents to the extreme that they are different and more contagious and persuasive. Some people think: "What you say is definitely not more important than how you say it." The important factors of speaking include not only words, but also the attitude of the speaker.A good speaking attitude can make very simple things have long-term effects.For example, in speech contests, the winners are often not those with the best subject matter, but those with the best attitude, because this attitude helps them get the best out of their subject matter.And an unsuccessful speech is often caused by the attitude of the speaker himself. I will illustrate the correctness of my point of view through the following example. The speeches of British politician Edmund Burke are excellent works no matter in terms of logic, reasoning, or article structure. Even now, more than half of the colleges and universities in the world still use his speeches. Speeches serve as classic models for speeches. 但你也许想象不到的是，伯克本人却是一位失败的演讲者，他并不具备表达他这些杰出作品的能力，而且也不能让他的演讲产生吸引力和震撼力。他曾被戏称为英国下议院的“晚餐铃”，因为只要他一站起来讲话，其他议员就会咳嗽或打牌，或者就是睡觉，甚至是成群结队地走出会议室。 由此我们可以看出，演讲质量的高低，关键在于演讲者的态度，和演讲稿无关。所以，一定要注意你的说话态度。 你与人说话的态度要让他们感觉到如同和一位老朋友聊天一样亲切。你也许会进展得很顺利，最后你也实际地向听众解答了这个问题。例如你可以在谈话当中这样说：“各位是不是有这样的疑问：你这样说有没有什么证据？当然，我掌握了充分的证据，我现在向各位做如下说明……”接下来你应该回答你想象中提出来的这个问题。这样就显得十分自然，有利于打破一个人唱独角戏的单调局面，你的演讲也会显得直接而愉快，更像和朋友在聊家常。 如果你做了一次公开演讲之后，听众们怀疑你是否受过当众说话的训练，那你可就丢了你老师的面子，尤其是训练班老师的面子。我们希望你能用轻松自然的态度讲话，让听众做梦也想不到你竟接受过“正式”的训练。这就好像一扇好窗户，它本身并不会引人注目，它只是默默地让光线射进房间。好的演说家也正是如此，他自然而毫无夸饰，听众不会留意他的神态，只感知到了他演讲的题材。
不知道你是否注意到了，在众多演讲成功的案例中，起决定作用的是演讲者的激情。只要演讲者保持旺盛的精力就会点燃现场的气氛，让自己会变得很有吸引力和号召力。因此，我在聘请演讲班的演讲者和指导老师时，首先会要求他们充满活力，另外还需要具备活泼、热忱等美德。这是因为，人们总是容易被精力旺盛的演讲者所吸引，喜欢聚集在他们身边，就好像饥饿的小鸟总是喜欢聚集在秋天里的麦田中寻找食物。 当一个人受到自己的情绪影响时，他真正的自我就会浮出表面。一个人的感情投入，无论他的真诚、热情，还是高亢激昂，可以帮助你完成你想做的一切。热烈的情绪将有助于你摧毁一切障碍。在感情的催动下，你的行为举止也将出于自然，演讲也将出于自然，因此你在讲台上的表现也就更为自然、更加流畅了。 很多人都没有注意到这一点，因为它似乎有点含糊，也不很准确，而一般人都希望得到简单易行的建议，或者是更明确一些的建议，就好像是汽车驾驶手册那样的建议。我当然也希望能做到这样。 对许多人来说，这样做起来就会容易得多。那么，到底有没有这种忠告或规则呢？有，但它们没有任何作用，它们只会让你的演讲毫无生命力和趣味性。我在年轻的时候，就浪费了很多精力去练习这些规则，所以我很清楚这一点。也正因为如此，这些规则不会出现在我这本书中，因为乔治·贝林斯说过：“知道了这么多没有用的东西，是没有意义的。” 我有幸聆听了奥立佛·罗基爵士的演讲。他用自己花了半个世纪的时间思考、研究所得出的成果，作为他的演讲题目——《原子与世界》。这些已经成为他心灵、思想与生命的一部分，他觉得有一些非说不可的东西，所以他根本不担心什么，他早就忘了自己这是在演讲。奥立佛·罗基爵士只关心他所要告诉听众有关原子的事情。他满腔热血沸腾，一心想让我们看到他所看到的和他所感受到的，他的演讲明确、流畅，而且感情丰富。 结果，他做了一场超凡脱俗的演讲，深深地吸引了听众，给他们留下了深刻的印象。他全心全意地投入演讲，然而，我相信他自己并没有这样想，听他演讲的人也没有把他当作“公众演讲家”。 那么，你是否也想成为这种富有活力的演讲者呢？也许你已经迫不及待地想知道如何来做了。下面我将告诉你获得成功的这3个妙方，它将会帮助你散发出自己的热情和激情，牢牢地吸引听众的注意力。 1.对自己的题目要有深刻的感受。 在前面我也一再强调，对自己的演讲题目要有深刻的感受，这一点非常重要。如果你对自己的演讲题目并没有特别的偏爱，那就别想让听众相信你。why?道理很简单，如果你对这个题目有实际接触和经验，对它充满了热情，或者是你已经对它做过深入思考，有自己的关注，那么你就会满腔热情，不愁演讲时没有热情了。 我至今还记得20多年前的一场演讲，因为演讲者的热忱而形成的说服力现在还鲜明地呈现在我眼前，我认为至今还没有一场演讲比它更精彩的。我听过很多令人心服的演讲，可是这个被我称为“兰花和山胡桃木灰”的演讲实例，却独树一帜，成为一个纯粹以热忱战胜常识的绝好例证。 那时演讲的情况是这样的。纽约一家极具知名度的销售公司的一位非常优秀的销售员，提出了一个有违常理的观点，说他已经能够使“兰花”在既无花种又无草根的情况下生长。因为他有一次曾将山胡桃木灰撒在新耕过的地里，然后兰花长出来了！所以他坚信，山胡桃木灰——而且只有山胡桃木灰，才是长出兰花草的原因。 在评论时，我向他温和地指出，如果他这种非凡的发现属于事实的话，他将在一夜之间暴富，因为兰花的种子价值高昂，而且这项发现还将使他成为人类历史上一位杰出的科学家，但事实上，没有哪个人曾完成了或有能力完成从无机物中培植出生命的奇迹。 这个错误是如此明显，以至于根本不值得反驳，所以我平静地告诉了他这些。其他学员也这么看这一问题，但唯独他自己不赞同。他想都没有想，立刻站起来告诉我说他绝对没有错。他对自己的发现极其热衷，简直到了不可思议的地步，他还大声说他只是陈述了他自己的经验而已，然后他继续往下说，并扩大了原先的论述，又向我们提出了更多的资料，举出了更多的证据。从他的声音中，我们看到了完完全全的真诚。 我只好再次告诉他，他不可能是正确的，而且这种可能性是零，但是他马上又站了起来，说要和我赌5美元，并让农业部来解答这件事。 你猜想这时候发生了什么变化？有好几个学员竟然开始相信他的发现，还有许多人开始不敢肯定自己的判断。我相信如果进行一次表决的话，可能有一半以上的人不会同意我的观点。我问那些改变主意的人，为什么他们改变了自己最初的观点，他们异口同声地说是那位演讲者的热忱和确信改变了他们的观点，使他们对自己的常识产生了怀疑。 于是，我只好给农业部写了一封信。我告诉他们说，向他们询问这样幼稚的问题我感到很不好意思。结果他们肯定了我的答案，说不播种而想使兰花或其他东西从山胡桃木灰里长出来，根本是不可能的。他们在回信中还说收到了另一封同样的信，原来那位销售员确实很相信他自己的发现，因此也给农业部写了一封信。 这件事给了我一个十分重要的启发，如果演讲者真的确信某件事，并充满热情地谈论它，便能让人们相信，即使你宣称自己能从尘土和灰烬中培植出兰花，也没有关系。既然这样，如果我们归纳、整理出来的东西是正确的常识和真理，那该会多么令人信服啊！ 演讲者几乎都会怀疑自己选择的题目能否引起听众的兴趣。其实，要让人们对你演讲的题目感兴趣，方法很简单，只要激发你自己对题目的狂热，就不愁不能激发人们的兴趣了。 2.要用自己的真实感受来描述。 你将自己的感受描述得越清楚，你就越能生动逼真地表达自己的内心思想感情。你可以以一个旁观者的身份来讲述，但是，如果你对这件事情有着某种切身感受，这种感受会使你的讲述更加明确，表达也更有效果，而以第三人称的方式来表述，则不能给听众留下什么深刻的印象。 当众说话时，你可以根据自己倾注于谈话中的热心程度，来表现自己的热忱与兴趣。千万不要抑制自己，也不要在自己真实感人的热情上头加个阀门，要让听众们知道，你对自己谈论的题目有多热忱，他们的注意力便会被你吸引。 3.假装或者真心表现出内心的热情。 让听众感受到你谈这件事的强烈愿望，能为你创造奇迹，哪怕这件事情是假装出来的，听众总是容易被你内心的热忱所感染。要知道，调动听众的情绪完全取决于你自身，所以，当你走上演讲台时，要充满企盼的神态，而不要像一个登上绞刑架的犯人。 在演讲之前，你可以再深吸一口气。不要靠着讲桌，抬起头，告诉你自己：“我现在就要给听众讲一些有价值的事情。”在这种提示下，你全身的每一部分都应该清楚地让他们知道这一点。
Voice is the carrier of the content of your speech. Your voice reflects your feeling, your mood and current state. It is a powerful and indispensable tool in your speaking.Great talkers are always good at establishing their own speaking style. Their voices are different, their intonations are lively and interesting, their manners are just right...everything related to them can reflect their characteristics.These are the only styles that are of real value to the talker.In order to have your own speaking style, you need to go through a series of important basic training. There are many vocal structures and body parts that we use when communicating our thoughts to our audience.We do this by shrugging our shoulders, waving our arms, frowning, raising the volume, changing pitch and pitch, and changing the rate of speech to produce different sounds depending on the situation and subject matter.It should be noted that what I am emphasizing is the effect of the sound and not the production of the sound, that is, the physical quality.Those things cannot be changed, and the sound effect is affected by the speaker's mood and state. This is one of the reasons why I emphasize that the speaker must be enthusiastic.Therefore, you need to be different from the beginning. Unfortunately, most of us lose the innocence and spontaneity of our childhood as we grow older, unknowingly falling into certain patterns of communication that we are used to.This makes our speech more and more lifeless.What's more, we're also less and less likely to use hand gestures, and stop raising and lowering our voices in rhythmic rhythms.In short, we are gradually losing the liveliness and spontaneity of our real conversations, our unique, individual selves. In life, we have too many incorrect habits that need to be corrected. For example, we may have developed the habit of speaking too fast or too slowly; our words will be very scattered if we are not careful.I always emphasize that you need to be natural when you speak, and you may mistakenly think that you can choose words randomly or express in a boring way-as long as you are natural.actually not.I ask everyone to speak naturally, because I want you to express your thoughts completely in words.From another point of view, a good talker will never think that he can no longer increase his vocabulary, use imagination and diction, change the form of expression and enhance the effect of expression.These are what people who pursue excellence are willing to do. For those who are eager to learn speaking skills, they must first learn to shape their own speaking style. You'd better pay attention to the changes in your volume, pitch and speaking speed, which is of great practical value.You can do this by recording what you say, asking a friend to point it out to you, or even better, having an expert guide you.However, these are exercises without a speaking partner, which is completely different from actual speaking.Once you are in front of people, you have to put all your energy into speaking to resonate with them. One day, shortly after the First World War, I wandered into Hyde Park and walked up to Marble Arch—I knew there were always various people talking there on various religious and political topics, and wanted to hear Listen to their conversation.I saw a Catholic explaining the infallibility of the Pope to people, and then I heard a socialist comment on Karl Marx.Finally, I also listened to a man's discourse on polygamy. I noticed a change in the audience size around the three keynote speakers.At the beginning, the polygamist speaker had the largest audience, but later, his audience dwindled, while the people around the other two speakers grew.Do you know why?Is it because of the topic? I did research on this issue.I found that the advocate of polygamy did not seem to have much interest in getting three or four wives himself, and his tone of voice sounded so unhappy that people thought he was boring; Opinionated Catholics and socialists, they were all in the middle of their speeches—they were high-spirited and flailing their arms, their voices were high and full of conviction, they radiated enthusiasm and anger, and this enthusiasm infected people.It turned out that it was the different attitudes and intonations of the speakers that caused the changes in the audience. Intonation is the combination of the speaker's tone and tone of voice, which expresses the emotion contained in the speech.When speaking, you need to let the tone of voice show more information than the specific content of your speech, or that the intonation is actually part of the content of your speech.For example, when your words sound sincere, you are actually saying to the other person: "What I think is what I say, what I say is what I think, and what I do is actually to you Respect." In this way, the other party will naturally believe what you say more. I am sure you have heard speeches similar to this polygamous speaker, whose tone is flat, stiff, and without passion, who show little interest in the subject they are addressing, as if they were feebly reading from a manuscript Same.Does this way of speaking appeal to you?Of course not. Why is the topic discussed by many people very attractive, but it does not have the expected effect?In fact, tone of voice conveys far more information than we think.The tone of voice, like the expression of the speaker, conveys the appeal of a certain meaning to the other party.When you hear a person's phone call, if his tone is enthusiastic, then you can tell that he is very happy even if you haven't seen him; but if his tone is very flat, then even if he tells you something to be happy You will also think that there is nothing to be happy about. People who know how to speak can not only shape their own individual voices to make them pleasant to hear, but also their tone and intonation are very contagious, always able to touch people's heartstrings and arouse the resonance of the other party.It is said that an Italian actor recited Arabic numerals in a sad tone, and the audience was moved to tears, while a Chinese artist recited recipes as beautiful as poetry.Another example is an ordinary modal particle—ah, using different intonations, it can express many meanings such as "I understand", "I didn't hear clearly", "surprised", "I finally got it"—this is exactly what it means. It is the tone of voice that makes your speech expressive. Many people have such a wrong understanding. They think that intonation, like voice, is innate, and they don't realize that there is a problem with their intonation.The problem to be noted is that this inappropriate voice will make the other party very numb, and at the same time lose their attention to the content of the speech, so that they have no mind to think about the content of your speech, while a voice with a tone of voice will have the exact opposite effect. We fall into such a misunderstanding that many times we spend more time finding out what to say, but in the end it is our tone of voice that messes us up.Pick up the handset and hear a word "Hello", no need to say anything more, from this word, we already know whether our boyfriend is still passionate about us, whether our mother has not slept well, whether our friends Have you successfully passed the exam... so much information, all in such a change of voice - intonation. "The voice is the music of the body, and the intonation is the music of the soul" is quite true.When we are sad, our tone is pale and empty; after a night of partying, our tone is limp; Have you noticed the tone of your voice?Is it impassioned, or cadenced?Or is it peaceful and soothing?Choose the right occasion and use your intonation well, so that your voice can also express rich expressions. Second, you have to choose your speaking voice - it all depends on your personality, the situation and the feelings you want to convey.Normally, your pronunciation should be crisp and loud.When you speak clearly, you appear confident, purposeful, and expressive, which will give the other person a sense of poise.In public, if other people's conversation is in the stage of endless debate, you stand up and say a word, the sentence is short and the voice is loud, it will have a shocking effect. How do you control the volume of your speaking?Do you speak in a voice that everyone can hear - I mean your voice is loud enough and clear.This may be easier for you to do if you are in a sit-down conversation between two or three people.In fact, if your volume is too loud at this time, it will make people think that you are arguing with others.However, if you are facing hundreds or thousands of audiences, such as standing in a square and giving a speech, you should try to reach as many people as possible.Because, if they don't hear it, they ignore what you said instead of reminding you to speak up or retell it.Therefore, you need to adjust your volume according to the situation. Note that the change in accent will change the meaning of what you are trying to express.When you need to emphasize a certain point, you can increase the volume appropriately.Raising the volume in an important place can attract everyone's attention.Of course, sometimes lowering the volume appropriately can also enable you to achieve this goal.You have to keep this in mind, in any situation, the change of volume can make you focus. Let's take a look at how Lincoln cleverly used the change of accent to save himself. Once, Lincoln was cleaning his boots with his head down, and happened to be seen by a foreign diplomat. He mocked Lincoln and said: "Mr. President, do you often polish your boots?" "Yes," Lincoln replied, "whom do you often shine boots for?" Lincoln's words cleverly shifted the accent of the other party, freed himself from the situation of being ridiculed, and put the other party in an embarrassing situation.If you can skillfully shift the accent of others' speech, you can also create a sense of humor and resolve unnecessary troubles. In addition, the change of the sound can be full of changes and layers, and the level of the sound will affect the mood of the listener.Who wants to hear such a high-pitched voice if you've been speaking in a high pitched voice?Also, when you generally use treble, your voice will appear too monotonous.Therefore, you have to change in pitch, which can make your voice pleasant and more dynamic.Like adjusting the volume, changing your voice allows you to be more active in conveying your message when it comes to clarifying a point.You can take a slightly higher or lower voice to show how much you value a point. When we usually talk with people, the voice will fluctuate constantly, just like the sea constantly rises and falls.Why is this so?Nobody knows, and nobody cares.But it's clearly pleasurable in this way, and it's also a very natural way.However, when we start some kind of formal speech, our voice becomes dry, flat and monotonous, like a desert.When you find yourself in the above situation, stop and reflect. For the control of speech and voice, we need the following points. First, you must make the other person feel that you are very confident in what you have to say.When your voice trembles or hesitates, the other person will think that you are not sure about what you are saying.If you are not sure about what you are saying, how can you ask the other party to be interested in it? Second, don't make it sound like you're talking to yourself.Voices that are too low or inarticulate can also sound like you're unsure.You may not have intended for the other person to hear these words of yours, but they hear them vaguely and don't know what you are talking about, and they will become suspicious and guess that you are saying something that is not good for them. Third, if your teeth are clenched together, or worse, your lips are clenched like a ventriloquist, there is no doubt that you are speaking nasally.The biggest problem with nasal speaking is slurred pronunciation.In this way, the other party will think that you are complaining, and you will look dull and lifeless, very negative. Fourth, if your voice is like the braking sound of an airplane landing, the other party will find you very annoying, so they won't listen to you.Loud voices can make your speech aggressive, and they will think you are in a position of overwhelming and intimidating them, which is not what they want.So, when you shout for everyone to listen to you, no one will listen to you. Fifth, you may cause such a situation: When you reach the end of a sentence or a key point, your voice will slowly lower, and finally disappear.This can make sentences sound incomplete.You have to believe that the other party will not be willing to guess what you said later. Sixth, if you want to have a pleasant voice, it is best not to mix with local accents.Of course, if you do use it, you have to use some method to emphasize it, and not make people think that your pronunciation is not standard. Seventh, no matter what your intention is, it is ultimately expressed through sound.Therefore, if your voice contains arrogance, contempt, or other negative emotional elements, you can hurt the listener or make others feel disrespected. When you're in a negative state, if you mix it into your voice, people will imagine it's much worse than it really is and distract themselves.For example, your slight frustration may be interpreted as hysteria, while your disappointment may be interpreted as despair.Therefore, you must show your adjusted emotion in your tone of voice in order to attract the other person's attention in a positive way.
If you want to win in an argument, you have to improve your words in a variety of more acceptable ways, to give it more weight, and to make people believe you more.And this method is commonly referred to as rhetoric.If you pay attention, you will find that the reason why lawyers are eloquent is because they often use it. The rhetoric we usually use is as follows, and I will give a brief explanation here. 1. Metaphor: "The kingdom of heaven is like yeast, and they put it in the cornmeal, and it will all ferment..." "The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for pearls..." "The kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea..." "Heaven" may not be familiar to people, but yeast, merchants, and the net are things that are familiar to everyone.It is the use of these wonderful and appropriate metaphors that help people understand the speaker's meaning more easily. These words are a very good way of explaining the "Kingdom of Heaven", that is, using what people are familiar with to explain what they are not familiar with. The reason why metaphors are more acceptable, more vivid, and more persuasive is that it is easier for people to understand when comparing the two similarities. 2. Exaggeration: When speaking, if you want to emphasize a certain point, it is very good to use some exaggeration when appropriate.Do you sometimes do that too?When you want the other person to be faster, you may say to him: "I hope I won't become a 'mummy' when you finish it!" Not "mummy", but you're clearly exaggerating. In fact, this rhetorical method is to stimulate other people's nerves, so that others consider what you think the other party's behavior may have serious consequences.For example, you might say, "It's like opening Pandora's box when you do this," and he's sure to know what you mean by that. 3. Repeat: Repeating the same meaning with the same rhythm, this rhetorical method is called repetition. The beauty of this rhetorical approach is that not only will you be able to grab the audience's attention so they know what your main point is, but you will also be able to integrate your main idea with the overall speech. For example, an orator, speaking of a department, says: "This system, with its poor public services, employs far more people than factories." "The system, it has a nosy flaw, ready to meddle in your business affairs and your private life at all times." "This system, it eats up nearly half of the country's budget." Through this rhetorical back and forth, the orator convinced his audience that there were indeed many problems with the department and that it badly needed reform. 4. Quote: We often use the rhetorical method of "quoting from the classics" to strengthen persuasion. In fact, this rhetorical method is the one we use most often.I often quote a lot of famous orators (such as Lincoln) and students' stories in this book to illustrate my point of view, and it turns out that this has indeed received very good results. Sometimes, we don't intend to quote a long story, but just choose a certain sentence or even a certain word that someone said. There is also such a situation, sometimes we quote an old saying (such as an old saying in China) or a common saying to illustrate our point of view, which is also very effective.Quoting is not only simple and effective, but it will make your words more persuasive. 5. Rhetorical question: When you are expressing a point of view, on the one hand, you think the facts are clearly like this; on the other hand, you may not need the audience to answer this question, then you may say: "Isn't it so?" The rhetorical method is rhetorical questioning.The rhetorical method of rhetorical questions is just to draw the audience's attention to your question, and it is often used in conclusions and transitions. However, the role of rhetorical questions is far more than that, let us look at a story. Once, the great Napoleon proudly said to his secretary: "Brian, do you know? You will be immortal." Briand didn't understand what he meant, and asked Napoleon why he said that. Napoleon said: "Aren't you my secretary?" After Briand understood, he said to Napoleon not to be outdone, "Excuse me, who is Alexander's secretary?" Napoleon did not answer, he praised Briand and said: "Good question!" Do you understand the mystery of this conversation?Napoleon meant that Brion would be famous because he was his secretary.However, Brion said that he was unwilling to rely on others to be famous, so he asked Napoleon such a sentence.He asked Napoleon what he meant by saying that the secretary of a great man does not necessarily have to be famous.However, because Napoleon was his coach, he could not directly refute Napoleon's point of view, so he cleverly expressed his point of view with rhetorical questions. Sometimes, rhetorical questions can express more meaning.Just like Napoleon's secretary, if you want to convince someone, the best way is to ask the question with examples, which is more convincing than a positive debate. 6. Contrast: Contrast means listing two opposite or opposing things at the same time.Contrast can really make the original plain words wonderful and make you very eloquent.Let's first look at how Charles Dickens skillfully uses the rhetorical device of contrast in the novel: "It was the best of times and it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom and it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of faith and it was the epoch of doubt; it was the season of light and it was the season of darkness; it was hope The spring of spring is also the winter of despair. In front of us, there are mountains of piles and nothing. We are all going to heaven, and we are all going to hell..." how does it soundIsn't it very touching?You also hope that such beautiful and persuasive sentences will appear in your words!Don't worry about why this rhetorical method works the way it does. These questions can be left to the linguists or psychologists to answer. Just know that it works and use it as much as possible. When you encourage everyone to complete the task as soon as possible, you can say: "Let's stop talking and start acting." And when you remind everyone not to waste food, you can say: "You are indeed full now, but this There are many starving people in the world.” If you need more examples, you can find and summarize them yourself. 7. Parallel ratio: "We are here to say firmly: let their deaths count; let this nation, under the blessing of God, be given a new life of freedom; let the government of the people, by the people, and for the people not disappear from this earth." This is the last part of Lincoln's famous Gettysburg Address, where Lincoln uses parallelism.This makes the original bland words become vivid and powerful, which has a great appeal to the audience. Parallelism is to arrange two or more word organizations or sentences with related or similar meanings, similar structures and the same tone to achieve an effect of strengthening the language.Parallelism is applicable to any topic—it can make it clear when reasoning, and it can make it rhythmic and emotional when it is lyrical. In short, the use of parallelism can make your words catchy and persuasive.
The information conveyed by non-verbal information is more connotative than language itself.When Cohenden wrote his biography for Lincoln, he used these words to describe him: "Lincoln preferred to use his head for gestures, and he would shake his head a lot. This movement was especially noticeable when he wanted to emphasize a point. Sometimes, this movement would stop abruptly... as the speech progressed. As he goes on, his movements will become more and more random until they reach perfection. He has a sense of spontaneity and character all his own, which makes him noble. He despises vanity, ostentation, and affectation... Sometimes, out of joy, he will hold his hands up at about 50 degrees, palms up, and look like he's embracing that emotion. When he wants to show his disgust — like slavery — he'll raise his arms, clenched his fists, and wave it in the air , showing a strong sense of disgust. This is his most effective gesture and shows his strongest determination. It looks like he is going to tear these things off and burn them. He always stands very neatly, with his feet on the same level , will never step forward and backward, and will never lean on something. Throughout the speech, his posture and demeanor only slightly change. Walking around. He also sometimes grasps his collar with his left hand, thumb up, to make his arms easier, and gestures with his right hand only." The information presented by Lincoln's body language is so rich that Saint-Goddess also sculpted a statue of Lincoln based on a gesture of Lincoln's speech, which stands in Lincoln Park.Of course, you don't have to imitate Lincoln's posture, but you do need to pay attention to your posture. Your posture, including the messages conveyed by your expressions, posture and gestures, constitutes your body language.The rich meaning and persuasive effect of this kind of information become the display of your personality charm and penetrate into the hearts of the people as your unique image. You need to perfect and enrich your posture, and you can do it from the following aspects. 1. Facial expressions. Facial expressions are extremely rich in meaning.It is often said that the eyes are the windows of the soul, then the face is the appearance of the soul, and all your emotions are written on your face—if you are not a person who is good at controlling emotions.Regardless, you can, and often will, convey a lot more with emoticons. There are joys, sorrows and joys in facial expressions, but for the speaker, generally the most important facial expression is a smile, which is the simplest and most effective way to shorten the distance between you and the other party.Of course, there are more expressions, it depends on what you say. 2. Body posture. If you must sit facing the other person, you must pay attention to your sitting posture.Don't look around, that's very much like an animal looking for a place to lie down for the night, rather than being more interested in talking to the other person. While you're sitting down, don't play with your clothes or anything else, it's distracting, and it makes you look insecure and lacking in self-control.So, you have to stay still and control your body. When you're about to speak, whether you're standing or sitting, stick out your chest and look confident.Don't wait until you're facing the audience to do this, you need to do it every day. Rosser Gurico said in the book "Highly Efficient Living" that nowadays, no one in 10 people can find a person who can keep himself in the best condition.It can be seen that many people have not yet realized the importance of body posture for speaking.He suggested that we should pay attention to the practice in this area, and "keep your neck tightly against the collar" when speaking. 3. Gestures. Sign language is the earliest communication tool used by human beings in the long evolutionary process. Sign language is a silent language that uses changes in the movements of fingers, palms and arms to convey information.It is used in a wide range, convenient, flexible, and varied. It can not only assist spoken language, but sometimes even replace it.Because of this, some people call sign language the "second language" of human beings. Gestures are the freest and most powerful form of body language, and for this reason, people are also often the easiest to make mistakes.I'm going to focus on sign language, mostly when you're standing and talking. So how should you make good use of your hands when speaking?When you start talking, it's best to forget about your hand, you don't have to worry about losing it.They hang naturally at the sides of the body, which is the best kind of posture.Of course, you'll remember to use them to make the proper gesture when needed. Most people probably hold a position where they either put their hands behind their backs, or in their pockets, or on a table, because it reduces your tension.At this time, you don't need to care about it.Many people do it, even a great president like Roosevelt sometimes does it, as if the gesture had a great allure. In my teaching career, I used to teach my students how to adopt the posture according to what the textbook said.I just copied the theories that the teacher instilled in me, thus developing some bad habits.I will never forget my first speech class. The teacher asked me to hang my arms gently by my sides, palms facing back, all fingers curled in half, thumbs touching thighs.Then, I raise my arm and draw an arc to allow the wrist to turn gracefully.Next, I spread my index finger, then my middle finger, and finally my little finger.When I have completed this seemingly perfect set of movements, the arms have to return to the arc just now, and then put them on the sides of the body. In fact, this rigid set of movements is of no use when I am speaking, but I use it to teach my students.Once, I saw 20 people doing such poses at the same time, and they all made movements mechanically like typewriters, which looked ridiculous.In fact, there has never been a standard set of gestures that is suitable for all speakers, except some experience.Each one is nurtured from within and according to their own thoughts and interests.The only gestures of value are the ones you learned naturally. Gestures are completely different from clothes, which can be put on and off, but gestures are from the heart, like a laugh, a stomachache, or seasickness.A person's gestures are his personal things. When speaking, the politician Brian would often hold out a hand and spread the palm; Graystone would often slap the table or stomp the floor loudly; Swipe down hard.These orators had deep thoughts and strong convictions, and all made their gestures powerful and natural.Naturalness and vitality are the best expressions of action.We can neither learn to walk—the tall, slow-moving Lincoln cannot use the gestures of the dapper, quick-moving Douglas, nor can we force ourselves into certain poses. Years ago, I had the privilege of hearing the preaching of Gypsy Smith—he converted thousands of people to Christ.The gestures he uses are natural, not at all artificial.As you practice applying these principles, you will find that you are making your gestures in this way.I cannot give you any law to follow, for it all depends on the temperament of the speaker, his enthusiasm and personality, his preparation, and the subject, object, and circumstances of the occasion. That being the case, we just need to play as we please, only the impulses and desires in your heart are the most trustworthy, and the guidance from these things is the most important. But you still need to pay attention to the following points to better enhance your speaking power and shape your perfect image. (1) Don't repeat the same gesture too much, it will give you a boring impression. (2) Don't make short jerky movements with the elbows, the movements from the shoulders look much better. (3) The gesture should not end too quickly. (4) Your posture will affect the other party's judgment of you, so please try to use a positive posture. (5) The most natural posture is the most correct. Be careful not to use artificial postures or expressions. (6) A pleasant facial expression makes you appear honest and friendly.
Another person's style can never be perfectly reflected in us, and this is something we must keep in mind.We are always envious of certain orators who incorporate performance into speech, express themselves without difficulty, and have the flexibility to say what is on their minds in their own unique and charismatic way.The most important point here is the attitude when speaking. You must know that "what to say" and "how to say it" are two different things and must not be confused with each other. I sat next to a young lady at a public recital.When the famous pianist Paderewski played one of Chopin's dances, she was also looking at the score.To her bewilderment, Paderewski's fingers struck the exact same notes on the piano as she did the dance, yet her performance was far less impressive than Paderewski's. Fascinated, so beautiful. The key here is not the note, but the way it is played.It is the feeling, artistry, and personality that Paderewski puts into his playing that make the difference between a genius and a mortal.Similarly, when the Russian painting master Brulov made some revisions to the work of one of his students, the student looked at the picture in amazement and exclaimed: "Ah! You only changed a little, But it's totally different!" Brulov said, "True art consists in a little change." Talking is the same as painting and playing the piano.There is no one else in this world exactly like you; likewise, there is no one else who thinks and thinks exactly like you, and few people can talk and express themselves the way you do.This is your unique personality trait. As a speaker, this is your most valuable asset.Be sure to grab it, cherish it, and work on it, it will give your speech great power. "This is the only and true proof of your personality".Please remember, don't put yourself into a mold and obliterate your own personality.It is precisely because these successful master speakers have brought their unique talents to the extreme that they are different and more contagious and persuasive. Some people think: "What you say is definitely not more important than how you say it." The important factors of speaking include not only words, but also the attitude of the speaker.A good speaking attitude can make very simple things have long-term effects.For example, in speech contests, the winners are often not those with the best subject matter, but those with the best attitude, because this attitude helps them get the best out of their subject matter.And an unsuccessful speech is often caused by the attitude of the speaker himself. I will illustrate the correctness of my point of view through the following example. The speeches of British politician Edmund Burke are excellent works no matter in terms of logic, reasoning, or article structure. Even now, more than half of the colleges and universities in the world still use his speeches. Speeches serve as classic models for speeches. 但你也许想象不到的是，伯克本人却是一位失败的演讲者，他并不具备表达他这些杰出作品的能力，而且也不能让他的演讲产生吸引力和震撼力。他曾被戏称为英国下议院的“晚餐铃”，因为只要他一站起来讲话，其他议员就会咳嗽或打牌，或者就是睡觉，甚至是成群结队地走出会议室。 由此我们可以看出，演讲质量的高低，关键在于演讲者的态度，和演讲稿无关。所以，一定要注意你的说话态度。 你与人说话的态度要让他们感觉到如同和一位老朋友聊天一样亲切。你也许会进展得很顺利，最后你也实际地向听众解答了这个问题。例如你可以在谈话当中这样说：“各位是不是有这样的疑问：你这样说有没有什么证据？当然，我掌握了充分的证据，我现在向各位做如下说明……”接下来你应该回答你想象中提出来的这个问题。这样就显得十分自然，有利于打破一个人唱独角戏的单调局面，你的演讲也会显得直接而愉快，更像和朋友在聊家常。 如果你做了一次公开演讲之后，听众们怀疑你是否受过当众说话的训练，那你可就丢了你老师的面子，尤其是训练班老师的面子。我们希望你能用轻松自然的态度讲话，让听众做梦也想不到你竟接受过“正式”的训练。这就好像一扇好窗户，它本身并不会引人注目，它只是默默地让光线射进房间。好的演说家也正是如此，他自然而毫无夸饰，听众不会留意他的神态，只感知到了他演讲的题材。
不知道你是否注意到了，在众多演讲成功的案例中，起决定作用的是演讲者的激情。只要演讲者保持旺盛的精力就会点燃现场的气氛，让自己会变得很有吸引力和号召力。因此，我在聘请演讲班的演讲者和指导老师时，首先会要求他们充满活力，另外还需要具备活泼、热忱等美德。这是因为，人们总是容易被精力旺盛的演讲者所吸引，喜欢聚集在他们身边，就好像饥饿的小鸟总是喜欢聚集在秋天里的麦田中寻找食物。 当一个人受到自己的情绪影响时，他真正的自我就会浮出表面。一个人的感情投入，无论他的真诚、热情，还是高亢激昂，可以帮助你完成你想做的一切。热烈的情绪将有助于你摧毁一切障碍。在感情的催动下，你的行为举止也将出于自然，演讲也将出于自然，因此你在讲台上的表现也就更为自然、更加流畅了。 很多人都没有注意到这一点，因为它似乎有点含糊，也不很准确，而一般人都希望得到简单易行的建议，或者是更明确一些的建议，就好像是汽车驾驶手册那样的建议。我当然也希望能做到这样。 对许多人来说，这样做起来就会容易得多。那么，到底有没有这种忠告或规则呢？有，但它们没有任何作用，它们只会让你的演讲毫无生命力和趣味性。我在年轻的时候，就浪费了很多精力去练习这些规则，所以我很清楚这一点。也正因为如此，这些规则不会出现在我这本书中，因为乔治·贝林斯说过：“知道了这么多没有用的东西，是没有意义的。” 我有幸聆听了奥立佛·罗基爵士的演讲。他用自己花了半个世纪的时间思考、研究所得出的成果，作为他的演讲题目——《原子与世界》。这些已经成为他心灵、思想与生命的一部分，他觉得有一些非说不可的东西，所以他根本不担心什么，他早就忘了自己这是在演讲。奥立佛·罗基爵士只关心他所要告诉听众有关原子的事情。他满腔热血沸腾，一心想让我们看到他所看到的和他所感受到的，他的演讲明确、流畅，而且感情丰富。 结果，他做了一场超凡脱俗的演讲，深深地吸引了听众，给他们留下了深刻的印象。他全心全意地投入演讲，然而，我相信他自己并没有这样想，听他演讲的人也没有把他当作“公众演讲家”。 那么，你是否也想成为这种富有活力的演讲者呢？也许你已经迫不及待地想知道如何来做了。下面我将告诉你获得成功的这3个妙方，它将会帮助你散发出自己的热情和激情，牢牢地吸引听众的注意力。 1.对自己的题目要有深刻的感受。 在前面我也一再强调，对自己的演讲题目要有深刻的感受，这一点非常重要。如果你对自己的演讲题目并没有特别的偏爱，那就别想让听众相信你。why?道理很简单，如果你对这个题目有实际接触和经验，对它充满了热情，或者是你已经对它做过深入思考，有自己的关注，那么你就会满腔热情，不愁演讲时没有热情了。 我至今还记得20多年前的一场演讲，因为演讲者的热忱而形成的说服力现在还鲜明地呈现在我眼前，我认为至今还没有一场演讲比它更精彩的。我听过很多令人心服的演讲，可是这个被我称为“兰花和山胡桃木灰”的演讲实例，却独树一帜，成为一个纯粹以热忱战胜常识的绝好例证。 那时演讲的情况是这样的。纽约一家极具知名度的销售公司的一位非常优秀的销售员，提出了一个有违常理的观点，说他已经能够使“兰花”在既无花种又无草根的情况下生长。因为他有一次曾将山胡桃木灰撒在新耕过的地里，然后兰花长出来了！所以他坚信，山胡桃木灰——而且只有山胡桃木灰，才是长出兰花草的原因。 在评论时，我向他温和地指出，如果他这种非凡的发现属于事实的话，他将在一夜之间暴富，因为兰花的种子价值高昂，而且这项发现还将使他成为人类历史上一位杰出的科学家，但事实上，没有哪个人曾完成了或有能力完成从无机物中培植出生命的奇迹。 这个错误是如此明显，以至于根本不值得反驳，所以我平静地告诉了他这些。其他学员也这么看这一问题，但唯独他自己不赞同。他想都没有想，立刻站起来告诉我说他绝对没有错。他对自己的发现极其热衷，简直到了不可思议的地步，他还大声说他只是陈述了他自己的经验而已，然后他继续往下说，并扩大了原先的论述，又向我们提出了更多的资料，举出了更多的证据。从他的声音中，我们看到了完完全全的真诚。 我只好再次告诉他，他不可能是正确的，而且这种可能性是零，但是他马上又站了起来，说要和我赌5美元，并让农业部来解答这件事。 你猜想这时候发生了什么变化？有好几个学员竟然开始相信他的发现，还有许多人开始不敢肯定自己的判断。我相信如果进行一次表决的话，可能有一半以上的人不会同意我的观点。我问那些改变主意的人，为什么他们改变了自己最初的观点，他们异口同声地说是那位演讲者的热忱和确信改变了他们的观点，使他们对自己的常识产生了怀疑。 于是，我只好给农业部写了一封信。我告诉他们说，向他们询问这样幼稚的问题我感到很不好意思。结果他们肯定了我的答案，说不播种而想使兰花或其他东西从山胡桃木灰里长出来，根本是不可能的。他们在回信中还说收到了另一封同样的信，原来那位销售员确实很相信他自己的发现，因此也给农业部写了一封信。 这件事给了我一个十分重要的启发，如果演讲者真的确信某件事，并充满热情地谈论它，便能让人们相信，即使你宣称自己能从尘土和灰烬中培植出兰花，也没有关系。既然这样，如果我们归纳、整理出来的东西是正确的常识和真理，那该会多么令人信服啊！ 演讲者几乎都会怀疑自己选择的题目能否引起听众的兴趣。其实，要让人们对你演讲的题目感兴趣，方法很简单，只要激发你自己对题目的狂热，就不愁不能激发人们的兴趣了。 2.要用自己的真实感受来描述。 你将自己的感受描述得越清楚，你就越能生动逼真地表达自己的内心思想感情。你可以以一个旁观者的身份来讲述，但是，如果你对这件事情有着某种切身感受，这种感受会使你的讲述更加明确，表达也更有效果，而以第三人称的方式来表述，则不能给听众留下什么深刻的印象。 当众说话时，你可以根据自己倾注于谈话中的热心程度，来表现自己的热忱与兴趣。千万不要抑制自己，也不要在自己真实感人的热情上头加个阀门，要让听众们知道，你对自己谈论的题目有多热忱，他们的注意力便会被你吸引。 3.假装或者真心表现出内心的热情。 让听众感受到你谈这件事的强烈愿望，能为你创造奇迹，哪怕这件事情是假装出来的，听众总是容易被你内心的热忱所感染。要知道，调动听众的情绪完全取决于你自身，所以，当你走上演讲台时，要充满企盼的神态，而不要像一个登上绞刑架的犯人。 在演讲之前，你可以再深吸一口气。不要靠着讲桌，抬起头，告诉你自己：“我现在就要给听众讲一些有价值的事情。”在这种提示下，你全身的每一部分都应该清楚地让他们知道这一点。