Chapter 20 you are the only one

I have always been very keen on gardening, and I have also built a rose garden with a considerable scale, which adds a lot of fun to my life. One day, when I was intoxicated by the blooming rose bushes, I suddenly thought of a question: "These roses all look alike at first glance, but if you look closely, you will find that they are different, or even belong to the same species. Flowers are different from each other. For example, the speed of growth, the degree of curling of the petals, the uniformity of color, etc., as long as you observe carefully, you can find that each flower has its own charm."

This is true in nature, and even more so in human beings.Dr. Arthur Jishi has a very profound research on ancient life and folk customs. He said: "No two people's life experiences are exactly the same, and everyone has unique life experiences." Yes, everyone's Life is unique.Although the basic elements that make up the human body are the same, each of our lives is wonderfully unique and unlike any other. In order to move ourselves to maturity, we must first understand and accept this fact, because it is the basis of our communication with others.Unless we truly see other people as individuals, as we are, it is difficult to form good relationships with them.

It sounds easy, but it's not so easy to do. In today's society, individualism has been destroyed, even on the verge of extinction.No wonder we now have less and less sense of our own uniqueness, to the point of fear of acting differently from others. Of course, modern man is very eager to acquire knowledge of how to make himself "unique and individual", and it is true.Regardless of the social pressure to classify us and conform to the demands of the group, deep down we still want to be different from others. Many people have ended up in mental institutions trying to express this longing and release this bondage.Others use alcohol and drugs to anesthetize themselves and completely lose themselves.

What is the best way to treat these diseases?How can we make people aware of their own uniqueness?How can people understand themselves with a more mature attitude?Here are three suggestions for you. In this society full of fierce competition, people's life and work are becoming more and more tense and busy, and at the same time, people have less and less time for themselves to think deeply.Nevertheless, we still have to find a way to find time to face ourselves and know ourselves. Of course, different people generally take different approaches to being alone.I have a good friend who usually walks in a crowded street and meditates at the same time. "This method can make me reach the state of ecstasy and come up with many solutions to problems." He explained.

I really like the church as a place where I can find a moment of peace.This method can calm the nerves, restore the spirit, and make one's soul get a thorough flushing. At the same time, I also really like to be in contact with nature.Due to practical problems, I don't have much time to take a walk or engage in outdoor activities, but I can go for a walk in the garden alone, or even sit by the window and occasionally look at the blue sky or trees outside the window, which can make my mind extremely relaxed and happy. rest.When the seasons change, no matter facing the vast scenery or a small piece of land, I can feel the magic and beauty of nature, and at the same time, I can integrate myself into it and become a part of nature.

Still others prefer to be alone in a quiet room or use other forms of self-isolation.All in all, take a little time out every day without letting yourself be disturbed, so that you can experience yourself, your life, beliefs and behaviors, and have a deeper understanding of yourself. In real life, people often wrap themselves deeply in habits or boring events that they are accustomed to, suffocating in it without knowing it, and at the same time, it is difficult for people to break it.Think about how many people in their lives repeat the same behavior over and over again every day, and life becomes dull, listless and incapable of innovation at all.

One student in my class was a young woman.One day, she told people how she broke through the shackles of habit: My husband and I are both very TV addicts. When we get home in the evening, we turn on the TV, eat fast food, watch TV, and don't turn off the TV until it's time for bed.In ordinary life, we seldom go to visit relatives and friends, or read books and newspapers, or go outside to participate in various activities.Because of the thought of missing a certain TV show because of this, the event was naturally cancelled.If a friend comes to visit, we often act absent-minded, hoping to get back in front of the TV as soon as possible.Once, when I got together for dinner with some old friends, I found it difficult to get along with them because they were talking about topics I didn't understand at all.I seldom go anywhere, I seldom read newspapers and magazines, I seldom do anything else.I am not interested in any other activities except watching TV.

I realized that this behavior was going a little too far, so I mentioned the situation to my husband and told him we needed to find a way to break the habit.He very much agreed with me, and we started planning how to do it.We signed up for some evening classes in adult education, and we tried bowling; we visited at friends' houses, or checked out books from the library, and read them aloud.I'm glad I got rid of my bad habits, and I've found that it's made a big difference, both at work and in my marriage.Our lives become richer and our interactions with others more intimate and meaningful.

The two were originally stuck in the swamp of habit and couldn't extricate themselves, but through the joint efforts of the two, they finally rescued themselves and gave their lives a new life. The best expression of this idea is found in a letter from the psychologist William James to his wife in 1878: I often think that the best way to bet on a person's character is to find out his spirit or attitude, especially when some special events occur, so that he can feel his deepest and most active. life comes.At such momentous moments, there is usually a voice deep within him that cries, "This is the real me!"

That said, moments of excitement bring out our true colors.Because feeling "the deepest, most alive life" is the most exciting thing! Perhaps this excitement has something to do with ideas, personality, or some objective situation.But in any case, excitement itself frees us from habits, boredom, and inhibitions, and then allows us to fully express ourselves. The quality of excitement plays a very important role in whether we can achieve success in work or career, because the emotional drive is the force that drives us forward.The great physicist and Nobel laureate Sir Edward Victor Abaddon said: "In the field of scientific research, I believe that enthusiasm is more important than technical expertise."

From this, we can clearly see that Sir Aberton did not mean that professional skills are not important in research work, but that: the excitement of enthusiasm can enable a person to give full play to professional skills. I have discovered in my forty-four years of teaching public speaking that people are only as good as they are when they give a speech, based on how enthusiastic the speaker is about the subject.Whatever the subject of the man's speech, the influence he exerts on his hearers is exactly in proportion to the intensity of his own feelings on the subject. Excitement can manifest itself in many ways, and love is one of them.There is a movie called "Marty", which tells how two monotonous and lonely people open their hearts to each other because of love, and move towards a new world. Still others believe that excitement can also be an exhilarating act of work, activity, or creation.Professor William Lynn Philp of Yale University wrote a book called "The Joy of Teaching", which described in detail how a teaching career made his life exciting and enjoyable. After reading the above discussion, you will understand that there are three ways for us to discover ourselves and discover our differences: 1.Give yourself time alone every day to get to know yourself more clearly. 2.Break free from the shackles of habit. 3.Pursue it with enthusiasm and excitement. The process of continuous self-discovery and self-exploration is also the process of spiritual maturity.It is difficult to understand others unless we first understand ourselves.According to Socrates, "knowing yourself" is the beginning of wisdom.Then, the saying "you are unique" is the latest modern interpretation of ancient wisdom. If you want to mature yourself, remember the fifth principle: You are the only one.