Chapter 63 Happy family rejects criticism

Just as nagging and impoliteness are the rocks of marriage and family happiness, so criticism—useless and heartbreaking criticism—is the enemy of marital happiness. Don't criticize the other party all the time, it won't change the other party.But there are those who criticize and blame their partners not only within the family, but also in front of friends and acquaintances.This kind of criticism not only fails to change the shortcomings and mistakes of the other party, but hurts the feelings of both parties.If the other party is indeed wrong, then propose it tactfully, sincerely help, and even use the power of emotion to influence the other party, and believe that the other party will definitely care about everything you have given.

Disraeli's fiercest rival in public life was Gladstone, and the two men clashed in every debate in the British Empire, but they had one thing in common, and that was their joy in private life. The Gladstones lived together for 59 years.I like to think of Gladstone, Britain's most honorable Prime Minister, holding his wife's hand, dancing around the hearth rug, and singing the songs of their hearts.A formidable figure in public, Gladstone never criticized his family at home.When he came down to dinner in the morning and found his family still asleep, he reproached in a tender way.He raised his voice and filled the room with mysterious sounds, reminding others that the busiest man in England was waiting for him downstairs alone all morning.Both empathetic and diplomatic, he took pains to avoid criticism in the family.

There is also a person in Russia who is similar to Gladstone in handling housework issues, and she is Empress Yekat Elena II.She ruled the largest empire in the world at that time, with supreme power.In politics, she is often a brutal monarch, and she has nothing to fear from war and decapitation.But at home, if the chef burnt the meat, she would eat it without saying a word, smiling. If you mean to criticize your little one...you think I'm going to say "don't..." but I don't.I'm just saying that before you criticize them, read a great piece of American Magazine Works: "Father Forgets."

This article was originally published in Popular Family magazine. "For 15 years, "Father Forgot" has been reprinted many times, published in hundreds of magazines, institutions, and newspapers across the country, and translated into many foreign languages. I have allowed thousands of people to teach in schools and churches. , and reading from the podium. It has also been broadcast on radio and television many times, and it is particularly strange that magazines in universities use it, and magazines in middle schools also use it. Sometimes a short article seems to have moving power, and this one really is. "

Father forgot Ravenston Lloyd Listen, my son.I say this while you are fast asleep, a small palm, crumpled by your small face, golden hair stuck to your damp brow.I sneaked into your room alone only a few minutes ago, as I sat in my study reading the paper, a stifled sense of remorse running through me, and I came to your bed full of guilt. These are the things I think about, boy: I was rough on you, I called you off when you packed into school because you just wiped your face with a towel.I punish you for working because you didn't shine your shoes.I yell angrily when you drop something on the floor.

At breakfast, I find fault too: you spill something, you swallow your food, you rest your elbows on the table, you butter your bread too thickly.When you started playing and I went to catch the train, you turned and waved and shouted, "Daddy, goodbye!" I replied, frowning again, "Put your chest out." In the evening, it all started again.I came back from the street and found you on your knees playing with stones, holes in your socks.I order you to go home before me, and I will disgrace you before your friends. "Socks cost money--you'd be more careful if you bought them yourself with your own money!" Imagine, boy, that words coming from a father!Do you remember?Later, when I was reading in the study, how you came in timidly, with a sad look in your eyes.When I finished reading the newspaper I looked up and stared at you impatiently at your "interruption", and you hesitated by the door.

"What are you doing?" I yelled angrily. You didn't say anything, but jumped impulsively, ran over, wrapped your arms around my neck, and gave me a kiss.Your tight little arms make me feel a kind of enthusiasm--if God puts a flower in your heart, even if you leave it alone, this enthusiasm will not wither it.Then you go, tapping the stairs, up the stairs. Ah, child, at that moment the newspaper slipped from my hand, and a terrible pain and fear came over me: What habits have I acquired?The habit of finding fault, the habit of blaming—this is my reward for being a child, not because I don’t love you, but because I want you—too much for an underage child, that’s at my own age size, to measure yours.

There is much truth, goodness, and beauty in your character.Your little heart is as big as the sun beyond the vast mountains, as evidenced by your natural impulse to run in and give me a kiss. There is nothing else tonight, child, I come to your bedside in the dark, and here I kneel in shame! It's a feeble atonement.I know you can't understand these things if I tell you while you're awake.But tomorrow I will be a real father!I want to be close to you, you suffer, I also suffer, you laugh, I also laugh.When words of criticism came to my lips, I would bite my tongue, and I kept saying: He is but a child—a child!

I'm afraid I have imagined you as an adult. But when I look at you now, child, curled up in your bed, I see you as a baby.Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head resting on her shoulder. I'm asking too much, too much. The way husband and wife get along lies in honesty and understanding. To create a happy and harmonious family, please keep in mind the following famous sayings: more trust and acceptance, give space, and show understanding with actions; be more tolerant, more patient, more appreciative, less critical, and less complain.Dix, an expert on marital unhappiness, believes that more than 50% of all marriages fail; Heartbreaking criticism.