Chapter 62 Remember: family harmony comes first

Many men and women pay great attention to their self-cultivation and manners before they get married, because they want to leave a good impression on each other.But after they got married, they seemed to have changed, becoming strange and unacceptable to each other. Husband and wife respect each other as guests, which is extremely important to married life, and politeness is a catalyst for a happy marriage.It is difficult for a family that scolds and shoots at every turn to live a peaceful and happy life. Damroshi married Bray's daughter.Bray was a well-known orator in the United States and was once a presidential candidate.The Damrosches have lived an enviably happy life since they met at a friend's house in Scotland years ago.So what's the secret to their happiness?

"Besides choosing one's mate carefully," said Mrs. Damrose, "I think the most important thing is to be courteous after marriage. Young wives should treat their husbands with the same courtesy as they have just met! Whichever A man must escape the tongue of a shrew." Bad manners are a curse that erodes love.Perhaps each of us knows this, and we all feel it, that we are more courteous to strangers than we are to our own family or relatives, and it would never occur to us to prevent a stranger from saying, "Oh, you're going to Tell the old story?" We never open a friend's letter without permission, or pry into their private secrets.And only those in the family, those closest to us, do we dare to insult them for their little mistakes.

Let's look at a quote from Dix: "That's an astonishing thing, but the only people who really say mean, insulting, hurtful things to us are our own people." In the Netherlands, you have to take off your shoes at the door before entering a house.Here's a lesson we can learn from the Dutch - to clear away our daily boredom at work before we go home.Don't have the slightest reservation, even if it's just a small expression. James once wrote an essay—"A Certain Blindness in Man." "The human blindness at issue here," he wrote, "is the blindness with which we all suffer from the affections of animals and men different from ourselves."

"Emotional blindness everyone suffers from," and many men can't think of saying bad things to customers, or to their colleagues at work, but can just as easily yell at their wives.And from the perspective of their personal happiness, marriage is more important and closer than their work. What are the chances of a happy marriage?We have already said that Dix believed more than half to be failures, but Dr. Bobeno thought otherwise.He said: "A man has more chances of being successful in marriage than in any other career. Of all the men who enter the grocery business, 70% fail, and of all the men and women who enter marriage, 70% succeed."

Dix summed it up like this: "Compared with marriage, birth is but an episode of life, and death is a trivial accident. . . As much as he makes his business or career successful...Obviously having a wife, a peaceful and happy family means more to a man than making a million dollars...A woman never understands why her husband doesn't use a little Treat her with diplomacy. Why not use a little more gentleness instead of high-handedness. It will be beneficial to him." He also said: "Any man knows that he can make his wife happy and then make her do anything for nothing." Do him a favor and she'll save every penny.Every man knows that if he tells his wife how beautiful and lovely she was in last year's dress, she won't buy the latest Parisian imports.Every man knows that he can kiss his wife's eyes shut until she's blind as a bat; that he can make her dumb as an oyster with one passionate kiss on her lips.

"And every wife knows that her husband knows what she wants from him because she's told him all about it. And she never knows whether to be mad at him or hate him because he'd rather fight with her." He would rather waste his money on new clothes, cars, and jewelry for her than flatter her for a little thing, and treat her as she desperately wants."