Chapter 74 why leave home

Dorothy Dix wrote: "A woman's temper and temperament are more important to a man's marital happiness than anything else. Even if she has all the virtues in the world, if she is bad-tempered, withdrawn, nagging and fastidious, and all these virtues are in vain." "There are many men who give up the chance of success because his wife pours cold water on his every wish. They will only find endless faults. For example, they always blame their husbands for their incompetence. A man can make a lot of money? Or why he can't write a bestseller or get a good job... How can a husband not be depressed when he marries such a woman!"

For a man, a woman who is nagging and critical is more unfortunate than extravagance; of course, lack of housework and disorderly behavior will also increase the pain of marriage.On this point, you don't have to agree with me right away, first listen to what the experts say. Psychologist Dr. Louis M. Terman conducted a detailed survey of married life, with 1,500 couples as the object.It turned out that husbands considered their wives' most serious weakness: nagging and fussy!A Gallup poll came up with the same results, with men citing nagging as their worst flaw in women.Jensen's temperament analysis is a well-known scientific research institution, and its research has also confirmed that nagging and picking are more harmful to family life than other vices.

Unfortunately, it seems like since caveman days, wives have tried to sway their husbands by nagging and finding fault.Legend has it that Socrates hid under a tree in Athens to ponder philosophy, most of the time to escape his ill-tempered wife; Abraham Lincoln and the French emperor Napoleon III, these outstanding figures suffered from their wives nagging , Augustus Caesar divorced his second wife because he "couldn't bear the violent temper". Although there are still many women who transform their husbands in this way, this method has not received any good results since ancient times.

An old friend of mine said that every job he ever did was belittled and ridiculed by his wife, who nearly ruined his career.He started out as a salesman, he was passionate about it, and he loved his product.Come home every night, expecting some encouragement, but his wife always says something like this about him: "Well, we're a great talent, business is going well, isn't it? As you must know, the rent is due next week. You Did he bring back untold commissions, or just a lesson from the manager?" Despite being ridiculed by his wife from time to time, he has worked tirelessly in the past few years, and now he has become the executive vice president of a famous company.What about his wife?oh!They are divorced.He later married a young girl who was able to give him love and support that he couldn't get from his first wife.In fact, his first wife didn't know why her husband abandoned her. She said: "I have suffered so much all these years and lived frugally... Now he no longer needs me to be a cow and a horse for him. Time to find a young man. Men are so heartless!"

If we were to tell her that it was not another woman but her own nagging and faultfinding that caused her husband to leave, the lady would not agree.But it was for this reason that her husband had left her.Moreover, her nagging came in a contemptuous way that a man could not bear to have his self-esteem battered and tortured in such a way that he thought he was capable of supporting a family. The son of another old friend of mine had the same experience.He is a young man in his 20s who works in the advertising industry; because of the fierce competition, he longs for comfort and understanding to maintain his fighting spirit.But his wife is a very strong person, and she is very impatient with her husband's slow movements and stiff wrists.He became depressed due to the frequent ridicule and accusations by his wife.He told me personally that his wife had completely corroded his self-confidence, bit by bit, like a drop of water, and he began to have no confidence in his work, and found it difficult to perform; later he lost his job, and soon his wife died. divorced him.After the divorce, he gradually regained his lost self-confidence like a person who has been sick and gradually regained his health.The most damaging form of this kind of nagging is the constant comparison of your husband to others: "Why don't you make a lot of money? You see Bill Smith has moved up two levels and you're still standing still!" "Brother can buy a fur coat for his sister-in-law, because he knows how to make money, do you have that ability?" "If I had married Herbert instead of you, I might not be so comfortable now!" Which sentence is not a sharp blade...

All stupid and cruel women are addicted to these means: complaining, complaining, comparing, sneering, chattering; they specialize in one or both.These skills are like narcotics. They are formed by habit and cannot be learned or changed. If a 20-year-old woman keeps saying, "When will we be able to live in a new house like the McKinsey's?", then by the time she's 40, she's bound to be a dissatisfied and disgusting woman. complaining experts. In married life, there are very few couples who never quarrel.For mature people, ordinary disputes will not become a burden, nor will they lead to a broken relationship.However, the impact of long-term endless nagging can overwhelm a person's enterprising spirit.No matter what great things a man does during the day, if he comes home every night to that nagging wife, he's unlikely to fall off the top of his career.

Dr. Sham W. Stevenson, a professor at the University of Virginia, declared in a recent lecture that American husbands should enjoy four major freedoms: freedom from nagging and faultfinding, freedom from being bossed around by their wives, freedom from Freedom from indigestion and the freedom to rest comfortably at home every night after a busy day at work. Why do women keep nagging their husbands?It seems that there are many reasons.If the nagging comes from our poor health, a doctor should check it out to help us recover, just as our cars need regular inspections to keep them in good shape.

Long-term sleepiness will turn into nagging.The treatment is to find out the cause of the fatigue so that it can be eliminated.Psychologists believe: "Nagging is often due to the blow of repression." Sexual frustration, loss of love, and disappointment in life are all typical blows, and they are often vented in the form of complaining and complaining.Psychoanalyzing a person and guiding them to vent and do something about it is the best way to get rid of repression.Venting in a nagging way is tantamount to adding fuel to the fire. Even in law, there is a basis for nagging as a reduced sentence.According to news from Stockholm, Sweden, the Swedish parliament has passed a very surprising amendment to the criminalization of murder - if the victim is proved to be a nagging person, the crime of intending to kill will not be judged as murder, but Manslaughter!

In England, a judge granted a divorce because the man's wife had run away with someone else.However, he reduced the husband's compensation from 7,000 yuan to 210 yuan. He explained: "Because they have been against each other for many years, the value of the wife to the husband has been greatly reduced." Columnist H. Bell commented on this in New York's "U.S. News" magazine: "The law clearly records that the value of a wife decreases year by year due to marital estrangement. What woman wants to do this? This jurisprudence is not very appropriate. This Once this concept is formed, I am afraid that many husbands will run into the court: "I want a divorce, judge. But please forgive me for the alimony that I have to pay. This makes no sense, because my wife and I have always been at odds. She has already It's not worth a penny, and I'll be fine if I set her free.'”

Indeed, there are some men who are not only willing to set their wife back free, but will pay money to get rid of her! In a recent issue of World Telegraph magazine, there was a story about a 50-year-old auto mechanic who hired three hooligans to kill his wife.Why is that?He claimed it was because his wife was nagging and critical of him all day long. Since nagging is so detrimental to a man's success, would you like to know that there is a remedy for it?It's very simple, let the nagging person understand the evil consequences she has brought, and sincerely change his ways.Nagging is a destructive mental illness that can only be cured if you know you have it.If you suspect you have the disease, just ask your husband!If he says you are a nagging person, please don't get angry and don't argue with him, that will only prove his opinion; on the contrary, you should immediately try to cure the disease.The following six suggestions may help you:

Let them fine you twenty cents as soon as you whine and start blah, blah, blah. If you have to impatiently remind your husband six or seven times that he once promised to do something, but now he probably won't do it, why bother?Such nagging can only make him more disgusted and determined to confront you. Our old grandmother used to say, "Sweet things catch flies better than sour things." This is still true today. "Honey, if you cut the grass now, I'll bake you your favorite fruit pie tonight." Or: "My dear, it's such a joy to have your lawn so level - Ellen My wife just said that it would be great if her husband was as diligent as you." In this way, it will be easier to achieve your wish. Humor is a great way to keep you in a good mood all the time.While it's certainly silly to smile on your face when you're sad, treating little things as tragedies can lead to a nervous breakdown sooner or later.Some wives went so far as to urge their husbands to fetch bath towels, as if the matter were as serious as Mrs. McBeth inciting her husband to murder the king, or as if Rachel was mourning her child.As long as the woman has sense, she will not pay the price of a French import for a cheap dress; resentment. For those less pleasant things, it is better to write on paper.After you calm down, take it out and look at it.At this time, if the matter is not important, you will definitely throw it away and feel embarrassed to mention it again; otherwise, just speak out your thoughts and discuss with your husband rationally, maybe you can use mutual trust and cooperation to solve the problem together. Law. Learn the art of relationships, subtly motivating people instead of forcing them to do what you want them to do.Charles Scooper believes that this is the secret to mastering men.Yes, someone is paying him $1 million a year!Precisely because he has this ability. There is a song that goes like this: You can't win a man by snatching; likewise, you can't win him by nagging.That will only frustrate his will and destroy your own happiness.