Chapter 71 follow in husband's footsteps

It is the responsibility of every wife to train her own abilities to help her husband succeed.No matter what her husband does, if a wife is good at relating to people, she can greatly promote her husband's success. Mrs. T. W. Hayes is very timid. She said: "My timidity has reached the point of no cure. I am afraid of contacting strangers, and I dare not go to public banquets." 14 years ago, she married .Mr. Hayes is an accomplished lawyer and an active political figure.Therefore, he has a very wide circle of friends and often participates in various conferences and social activities.His bride, however, was often alarmed to learn what she was supposed to do when she got there.How can she overcome her timidity and help her husband succeed socially?

She has no confidence in it!But she would be sorry if she couldn't get over her timidity.These words inspired Shirley Hayes: "People are always most interested in themselves. So, in your conversation, you can focus on the other person, his distress, or success. Once you put your Focus on others, and you forget about your own tension." She was determined to try this method, and it really worked!She said: "Because other people really interested me, gradually I didn't know how to be afraid. I realized that everyone has their own problems and worries. When I got to know them, I liked them. I and They got along very well. Now, I am eager to find new friends. I am used to entertaining at home and I like to go with my husband. He is now a state senator.

"What really pleases me is that I'm not hindering my husband's success by being socially awkward." It is the responsibility of every wife to train her own abilities to help her husband succeed.No matter what her husband does, if a wife is good at relating to people, she can greatly promote her husband's success. If you were born with it, all right, or you should develop it, as Mrs. Hayes did.This is a necessary condition for a man's good wife. A governor once told me privately that he owed his success to his wife's wit, nurturing, and charming charm.He himself was born in an immigrant area of ​​a metropolis overseas.He said: "So I married an ordinary girl, and I didn't know if I would have the motivation to educate myself to get ahead in society. Thank God, my wife has everything I lack. She is mine. The pillar of the soul, whether I go in and out of certain places in the lower class, or deal with the royal family and nobles, she can handle it with ease."

Don't think this way, your husband is in a very low position now, and he doesn't need to help him at all.You must know that no one stands on a high peak from the very beginning. The future leaders in industry, business and profession are all unknown young people today.Wouldn't it be good to get up and prepare now so that your husband can be at the top in the next 10, 20, or 30 years, so that he won't be excluded from success because of timidity?Act now! If you think you're like Shirley Hayes, try to get rid of your shyness.If your clumsiness is that you are not good at talking, you should learn to respect, like, and appreciate others; if your education is lacking, don't make excuses for yourself: "Because I don't have a chance to go to school..." Instead, go to school immediately. Go to night classes; if you can't afford tuition, run to the nearest library instead of walking slowly.

Wives who are left behind by their husbands are not worthy of sympathy, because most of them are not qualified to share weal and woe.This kind of person is either ignorant or lazy, always blind to the countless learning opportunities that surround everyone, and has no intention of taking advantage of them to improve themselves. Eric Joneston is the wife of the president of the Motion Picture Association of America.She put it this way: "The key to creating a happy marriage is to adjust the pace of your life according to your husband's work rhythm." She advises the wives in this way: If they want to catch up with the pace of their husband's career, they must participate in more social activities, expand their social contacts, and never confine their lives to a small circle.

Mrs. Johnston also said: "Perhaps you think that your husband's work does not require your assistance with social activities. However, my husband was just a person who sold vacuum cleaners door-to-door and did not have the current career. At that time, Who can imagine what he will play in the future. I only know that he is gradually creating a situation." No one knows what the future holds!But the wise will prepare for its coming.Learning how to get along with people and make friends prepares your husband to be someone important, and it will always help him, regardless of his current occupation or social status.If your husband is not good at conversation, a tactful wife can help him make up for it; and if he is already quite tactful, it is necessary for the wife to protect him, so that he does not seem ridiculous.

In order to collect the materials for this book, I once interviewed the personnel director of one of the largest companies in the United States. We had a pleasant conversation. He told me with relief that sometimes he was too involved in his work to ignore other people.But his wife never complained that he was too busy.He said: "Recently, I ran to our laundry shop and yelled at the boss angrily, not allowing him to do my laundry any more deviations! He said to me with a sad face: 'If your wife came, I would feel better. A little bit.' My wife is kind and kind. Everyone likes her. She is really understanding and never embarrassing.

"Our neighbor is a Greek, and when we passed his shop, she greeted him in Greek; at the other corner at the end of the street, she greeted the fruit seller in Italian. But they ignored me; For my wife took the trouble to imitate them, and to go and greet them. Her manners were popular, and indeed made her popular everywhere." I really want to meet this lady, don't you? Friendliness and kindness are an invaluable asset.A man's work is too busy, and he often concentrates on the technical aspects of his work, ignoring the warmth of people; however, how lucky he would be to have a wife who can create a warm atmosphere and a friendly atmosphere.Such a woman will not be left behind, no matter how great her husband may be.She is a goodwill ambassador for her husband.

There are many ways in which a genial woman can promote her husband to a good position in society.These methods require regular practice, like all techniques.The wife of the president of the American News Broadcasters Association, Hans V. Katenfu, has very good social skills.Because she seems to have a sixth sense of when and how to interrupt, she says she has become known as a "interruption expert."When I interviewed her, she told me that if her husband's topic deviated from the direction, she would try to remind him on the one hand, and on the other hand, divert people's attention away from the unpleasant topic, and say to him at an appropriate time: " Hans, why don't we talk about...?"

Because Mr. Ka Tianfu is very popular, after his speech, many people often want to shake hands with him, or stand and talk with him for a long time, which is not good for his health.In order to keep her husband from being overtired, Mrs. Cartier would remind him at the most appropriate time that their car was waiting outside, or they would be late for their next appointment, so she would take him out skillfully. Once, after Mr. Katianfu gave a speech at the town hall, the audience asked many questions, and he was stuck there.Mrs. Katianfu knew that her husband would be very tired today, so she stood up and said, "I'm sorry, I also have a question. Mrs. Katianfu, when can I go home for dinner?" The audience listened They agreed, and unanimously supported her opinion—so, Mr. Ka Tianfu was finally able to go home for dinner.

If a wife is to make a successful husband, or the successful husband she wishes to be, it is also important that the wife prevent the husband from being complacent about his success.However, completing this task requires both parties to have enough love, consideration and good timing, otherwise it will bring the opposite result. Earlier, we mentioned many ways to encourage men to be aggressive.However, a man sometimes needs to be demeaned, so as to ensure that he will not become a blind and arrogant person and maintain his clear mind.A woman who can do this should be grateful for her life.Disraeli said that he was proud that his wife was his harshest critic; she was able to keep his ecstatic husband steady. Another celebrity, Liman Beach Stone, is a well-known writer and university lecturer, and his grandmother, Holriet Beach Stone, participated in the writing of "The Black Slave Calls to Heaven".He confessed to me that, in due course, his wife gave him a friendly deprecation, which contributed greatly to his success.He said: "When I first arrived at the university, I was very lucky that the students liked me. After class, they always gathered around and praised my lectures, which made me a little swayed. At that time, I was really intoxicated with myself. I I can't wait to run home and tell my wife that her husband is a great genius. "When I take on a new job, or take on a risky venture, she always encourages me and builds my confidence; so, I am sometimes surprised. When I report success to her triumphantly , but she was very indifferent. She said: "Of course I am happy that you are doing so well, but you must not be dazzled by the victory. If you don't work hard to maintain your current level, then those who praised you today will not win tomorrow." will desert you.' "Once, it was at the laying of the foundation stone of a mansion, and I spoke in front of a large audience. I felt that I performed perfectly, fully grasped the technique required for the occasion, and was simply the greatest orator since William Briand ; In this way, I returned home in a buoyant manner. "Complacent, I re-enacted the speech in front of her, repeating the proud details several times. Then, I sat down and waited for her compliment. But she just smiled and said to me: 'Honey, that's great. Yes, but what about the people who invested in building the buildings? Aren't they more worthy of praise? Your speech is just your tribute to them.' "Indeed. My pride and arrogance disappeared like a soap bubble. I almost became a ridiculous, arrogant, unreasonable clown. I really want to thank my wife. Love and sensitivity allow me to know myself and know that my efforts are not enough." Mrs. Hayes and Mrs. Johnston mentioned above, as well as Mrs. Cartier and Mrs. Stone, all know how to live with their husbands, and they can also add luster to their husbands' careers. What they do is as any woman can do, which is to try to win people's friendship, to be comfortable in any kind of social situation, and to get her husband to be down-to-earth, and not complacent with success. If so, she certainly doesn't have to worry about becoming "a person left behind by her husband". Summary-- How to deal with the following situations: 1. If the husband's situation requires it, he will willingly move to a new environment with him. 2. When your husband is overworked, help him wholeheartedly. 3. Be determined to adapt to the special circumstances brought about by his work. 4. If your husband works at home, try to disturb him as little as possible and try to make everyone in the family feel comfortable. 5. If your work conflicts with your husband's needs, it is best to give up your work. 6. Keep up with your husband - don't fall behind him.