Chapter 63 Help him determine his purpose in life

People who live loose cannot be successful.These people just find a job to do, get married in a daze, live life carelessly, without any ambition or desire in their hearts, but dream that things will change for the better. In 1910, two young people shared an apartment in New York.One of them was Dale Carnegie, an unsophisticated visionary from the Missouri corn country who attended the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.The other was Whitley, a country boy from Massachusetts. Dale told me that although Whitley was born in the countryside, he was different from the poor children in the countryside. Think about it, he was determined to become a big boss with his own company.

Whitley's first job in New York was as a retailer for a major food chain.He is very motivated and often helps out in the wholesale department at lunchtime to get more familiar with the business, not for extra pay or thanks.The director of the department quickly learned of the incident, and soon after a better job opportunity arose, the director left the job to Whitley. Over time, Whitley rose through the ranks, from retail clerk to sales clerk to department head to district business manager; with some failures and setbacks, of course.Later, after working in a company for many years, he found that he had no future, because the company president's party was very powerful in the company, and he was quickly pushed out.In a later company, he found that promotion was based on qualifications, which prevented him from reaching the top decision-making level until his death.

However, he never forgot his goal.He eventually achieved that goal, becoming president of Kikuko Packaging, and then started his own Blue Moon Cheese Company. In that disgusting apartment without a kitchen, the country boy once said to his companions: "One day, I will be the boss of a big company." It is now seen that this was not wishful thinking, but an inner belief of his It is a self-realization goal he has set for himself, and it motivates every step of his life. Why did many people fail, but he achieved brilliant success?He worked hard, but everyone else worked as hard; and the answers to his questions could not be found in his academic qualifications, because he only studied on his own after work.It can be seen that the key is that he has a clear goal.Whether it's overtime, switching jobs, or learning new technologies because of business needs - all his activities revolve around this goal.

People who live loose cannot be successful.These people randomly find a job to do, get married in a muddleheaded way, live life carelessly, without any ambition or desire in their hearts, but dream that things will change for the better. Ms. Eun Yott is the founder of the "Job Change Clinic" in the New Winston Hotel in New York, and she is also a life coach. She gives advice to those who are dissatisfied with their jobs for their reference.I spent several afternoons discussing unemployment with her.She told me that most of the people who came to the doctor did not understand what they were asking for.So her first job is to help them find out their inner desires and intentions.This is exactly what a wife can do to help her husband find a purpose in life, and then be able to help him definitely move towards it.

Simon and Essegrim, who co-authored The Marriage Guide, point out that a happy marriage requires a shared desire for life, and it doesn't matter what that desire is—whether it's a new house, a big family, Or take a trip to Europe... It is important to have a desire to share life together. They said: "The important thing is to have a goal first, and then try to achieve it. The joy, fun and sense of participation in life come from the fantasy, design and hope of life, and from the victories and disappointments, successes and failures in life." sharing." The life success of William Graham and his wife in Waikita, Kansas is a testament to this truth.

William Graham was the head of the William Graham Oil Company in Waikita, a highly profitable company.When Mr. William Graham was a child, he already knew how to make considerable profits from oil business and investment. Now he and his wife Mary have wealth that many people envy: health, wealth, six smart children , a luxurious home, a successful career, and will enjoy it all for years to come. I have known William Graham for many years, and I asked him the biggest secret to success, and he replied: "There must be a long-term plan and coordinated operation." William Graham and his wife started selling houses and real estate shortly after their marriage.They have no source of income other than keeping their heads down in the hope of successfully earning commissions.They rented a corner of an abandoned passageway in an office building as an office, and Mary contacted here, so William went out to find business.At the beginning, the business didn't make much progress, and the newlyweds often didn't have three meals.

Then, the business finally turned around, so they started buying their own houses and reselling them, and then they built their own houses and sold them.When their business situation was very good, William thought that he had more energy and should seek new development. After several family meetings, they settled on the oil business, and William Graham Oil Company was born.The firm is consistently cited as a success story because of their strong appetite for the opportunities and challenges of trading. Now William is looking for new development again, they are considering international investment, once they make a decision, they will go all out to realize it.

William's training, qualities, and temperament were often considered by the Grahams as they planned for their choice of goals.Mary told me that in order not to lose his motivation, William always looked for a more challenging thing as soon as a project was realized.Because of this, their lives are full of challenges and a sense of accomplishment.The success of the Grahams is a testament to the fact that life should be planned, implemented, and finally achieved.Who can hit the bull's-eye without aiming?Even if the person aiming at the bull's-eye is a little bit off, it will definitely be closer to the bull's-eye than blindly shooting with eyes closed.

"Confusion is the main cause of depression." Dean Herbert Hedges, a famous professor at Columbia University, said. Ambiguity is not only the cause of depression, but also the greatest obstacle to success.So the first step in getting your husband to excel is to motivate them to find a focus in life, to set a purpose in life. Meanwhile, what does success mean to you and your husband?Does it mean wealth, fame or power, a sense of security, or a satisfying job and service to society?These are the questions you should think about.why?Because success means something completely different to different people.You should find out what success really means to you, so as to determine the purpose of your life!

If a wife wants to help her husband achieve his goals, she should clearly understand this goal.But unfortunately, there are many cases where, when both husband and wife are ready to start life, they find that their goals are completely different.If your husband has a clear vision in life, don't think that is enough, you should actively participate in his plan. I don't know where the following quote comes from, but it is indeed a good piece of advice for enterprising couples: "Love is not about meeting eyes, but looking in the same direction." Therefore, successful The first step is - "help your husband determine his life goals."