Chapter 62 learn to get along with men

For a woman, what is more tragic than the capriciousness of accommodating a man all her life is that there is no man who can make her accommodating.You know, half of the people in the world are men, so how to get along with men is a problem that every woman must face. One of my favorite moderns is Ogden.Perhaps, in his ode to the father of a baby girl, he lamented that somewhere in the world a baby boy was growing up to be the man who would marry his sweet little daughter.Since most fathers of adorable baby girls feel the same way, let's face it: the saddest thing for a woman than a lifetime of accommodating men is that she has no man to accommodating her.

You know, half of the people in the world are men, so how to get along with men is a problem that every woman must face.Husband, father, son, and son-in-law, or boss, customer, friend, suitor, and satyr, or doctor, lawyer, soldier, and clerk, or butcher, baker, and workman—a woman has innumerable men in her life. Since we have to accept the fact that there are differences between men and women, as a woman, it shouldn't be a bad thing to think more about how to get along with men. What does a man expect a woman to provide him? It is comfortable!You think I'm getting my answers from a bunch of champagne-fed, old-fashioned dudes?let me tell you:

At the end of World War II, men who continued to serve in the military were asked one of the questions: "What do you hope married life will bring you?" Femininity is not stimulation, nor excitement, but comfort in the ordinary sense!This may disappoint those ladies who are blindly superstitious about the advertising descriptions of cosmetics and perfumes.But since men only need comfort, why not provide it to them?Apparently an ounce of comfort is worth more than a pound of sex appeal.But what exactly is a man's ideal comfort?Some woman who puts all his senses at ease, or some virtuous woman who knows how to read?Or a sexy stunner like Marilyn Monroe?Let's do some analysis.

In one course, women based on the situation when they were with men, after discussion, summed up the following effective rules from experience to teach women how to get along with men: Taurus Dix once said that when a man chooses a woman, the first requirement is that the woman have a good temperament.Any woman who wants to have a good time with a man, whether it be her husband, her boss, a plumber, or her three-month-old son, should pay more attention to her temperament than to her own faults.A man would rather eat canned green beans in a pleasant atmosphere than eat steak with a morose, gossiping woman.

A bachelor once confessed that if he had the opportunity to choose between a happy, gentle, even-tempered woman and a miserable, stupid, rough-tempered woman, he would choose the former! My husband once employed a shorthand typist who wasn't technically qualified--terrible spelling, slow typist and constant error.But she was able to keep her job until she got married and retired, thanks to her happy angelic disposition.She is not afraid of whining, complaining and criticism.She is like sunshine in the office.As long as she is there and does not need to do anything, she should be paid.I don't know if she's a better cook than a shorthand typewriter, but I've seen her with her husband a lot and I can tell he doesn't care - his face lights up whenever he looks at her.

U.S. Open champion Jack Flick writes for New York's World-Telegram about how he turned a bad situation around and won the franchise to take over two municipal golf courses in Davenport, Iowa.It is a difficult task before him to keep the franchise and not relax training to win the championship.But he married Lynn Burnstead of Chicago, which brought him good luck.With his wife helping him in his career, Jack can concentrate on practicing his golf skills. Then, it was 1952, and the Jack family started traveling across the country.Lynne looks after her 13-month-old son, Crillo, while Jack travels to the Open Tour.Jack said, "I never let Lynn follow me to the field. You never see the postman take his wife to deliver the mail!"

The wife was not actively involved in Jack Flick's beloved ball game.But she's always there for him, keeping him safe.That's what a real good mate is. Florence Maynard lived in a small town in upstate New York and was an ordinary housewife.In the past 16 years of married life, she could only do housework, so she felt that something was always missing in her life.Finally, she knew that it was a relationship between a partner and a family.Outside the home, the Maynards have few interests and hobbies in common.Mrs. Maynard set out to take action to change that. “One of my husband’s main interests was professional hockey,” she says, “so I developed my own interest in that first. After I became very proficient in hockey, I became interested in the game. I talked to him Going to hockey games with the same passion. Remember the times when hockey games were televised. Not only did I enjoy an interesting sport, but I found myself having something to do too, and not only did I enjoy watching it with my husband All the fun of exercising, and no more sitting around bored at home alone with nothing to do.

"Besides hockey, now that I've found some new interests, I can share the fun with my husband again." Almost all men talk too much to women, meaning that women take away their opportunity to talk. Many women don't understand, thinking that listening to a man means sitting there in silence and patiently listening to a man talk.Listening to people also shows "quality" and listens "actively".If you are already a skilled listener, you also need to be good at joining in when the time comes. To listen to someone speak, you must first concentrate.Eyes should not wander or appear tense or fidgety.If you can really focus your mind, maybe you will learn a lot.When listening, try to relax your expression and change it according to what you hear.Few things turn off a speaker more than a deadpan listener.One of the most difficult tasks of a stage director is to train an actor to act as if he is listening to another actor in the play.If you want to be a good listener, work hard on yourself.

Successful listening requires concentration and active cooperation.It used to be joked that all a girl wanted to win a man's heart was to look him in the eye as he described one of his successful deals, and at the right moment interject "You're an extraordinary lad. My God, you're a genius." " and the like will suffice.The dumber she acted, the more he liked her.Now, this situation has changed a little: many girls are also successful in life and find it difficult to complete the transition from the smart strong woman to the stupid little girl; Which one is the girl who really knows how to listen, and which one is the girl who pretends to be stupid and flatters him.Remember, if you want to win a guy's heart and influence him, don't play tricks like pretending you're listening when you really need a girl to listen to him.

From time to time, ask him a question that shows that you are listening to him and want to know more about it.Or occasionally put forward your different opinions.If you support his statement and have experience in that area, bring it up when he stops talking, but be concise, and then give him back the power to dominate the conversation. This kind of listening is not a monotonous monologue, but a two-way communication. Most people are not ideal listeners because they don't understand the rules.This can all be improved with practice.People who are good listeners also have the potential to be good conversationalists, and when they have the opportunity to be good conversationalists-the skills will come naturally to them.

Once we learn the art of listening, we get along better with men and, by extension, with other human beings.It promotes our maturity, which is one way of attaining maturity. "Let's invite Jimmy and Mabel tonight," said the head of the family. "It's been a long time since we've seen Jimmy." "Okay," said his wife, "but we'd better invite Helen and Tom, too, because We've been to their house twice lately." And then—"Oh my God—Helen's sister's at her place and we've got to get another guy. You go to the deli and get some more beer and cheesecake Cake. I'll make the phone call, then put on makeup, change clothes, and tidy up the room. You'd better vacuum the carpet while I change." At this moment, the man wished he hadn't said anything.He only wanted to have a quiet chat with a friend or two, but he ended up with a room full of guests.For some reason, women rarely do anything on a whim, except to buy a hat.No man can understand this.He didn't understand why it took a woman weeks to plan to go to a play, or why when he impromptuly suggested a weekend in the country, the woman would say she didn't have the right clothes and wait until the next weekend so she could have a chance Notify the milkman. Sometimes a man's whim can really turn a well-organized woman off, but you have nothing to lose by answering "OK, we..." instead of "OK, but..." once in a while.I know a very happy wife who is married to a husband who loves short vacations. He often sees a travel advertisement and calls his wife: "Pack your bags, honey - we are going to Bermuda tomorrow morning." Ma'am, pack up the suitcase with the swimsuit, tell the neighbors to help take care of her little parrot, turn off all the appointments, and wait to get on the boat the next morning.She would also say that it was really nothing, that any woman could do it with a little training. The fashion in my youth was that if a girl was called out at the last minute by a boy, she was considered a very unattractive girl for boys—it was tantamount to admitting that she was only asked out because no other boys had asked her out. invite.Maybe being a hard-to-date girl leaves a good name, but she also loses a lot of fun.But what if he asks us out after he's asked someone else out?This gives us the opportunity to prove that the second choice is often the best choice.Learning to adapt to a man's mood is one of the best ways to win his favor. When a man suddenly has an idea, he likes to implement it immediately!They are infuriated by women who cannot adapt to this masculine impulse.A girl who learns to be comfortable with a man's emotions early on has already taken a successful step in learning to relate to a man. In one class, a girl told me that she lost a wonderful man because she was too capable.This girl does the supervisor's job, makes plans, calls the shots, and she does her job.Socially, however, she has been far less smooth sailing. “Often I am,” she said, “I hail a taxi before my boyfriend opens his umbrella; I press the elevator button before him; Blood pressure sickness; he never had a chance to pull my chair out or take off my coat and put my suit on because, I was always the first to do everything because I was able. I wasn't just able - I was too capable, So, it's all my fault that I lost him." Poor girls who come out to work now.In order to marry a wishful man, besides being busy pursuing success and independence, she must always remind herself to be a feminine girl.Because men are spoiled, they want a girl who is both feminine and smart enough to spot him—and, if possible, help him add to the family income. Getting him to see you and think you're his dream girl isn't as difficult as it would be if you didn't try.Fully demonstrate your ability at work and win the appreciation of your boss.After get off work, make the guy you date feel like you're a woman, not an efficient machine. Like the girl above, I learned this from a boyfriend who got away with it.Years ago, I met a young man who was my constant companion, at least, for a while.During those days, I became interested in the politics of my locality and devoted many of my downtimes to this activity.When I wasn't campaigning or going to rallies, I was talking to my boyfriend about what Judge X said or what was wrong with the administration.Finally he couldn't take it anymore and said aloud to me: "You used to be a girl, now you're a living campaign leaflet. If I needed a lecture on political philosophy, I'd write to a member of Congress. Now I just need one for Nice lady to brighten my evenings." The last thing I heard about him was that he had got a blonde who could keep the house in order and be a lovely woman. To a man, there is nothing more ludicrous than seeing an old woman parading around in a tight maiden dress, with a dyed wig, three-inch heels, and fake breasts that no one can hide.Of all the sad sights, perhaps the saddest is the woman who refuses to accept maturity, who stubbornly believes that a woman's allure lies in her age, and that if she tries hard, no one will know she is over thirty-nine.It was chilling to see such a woman coy, courting a man with a sex appeal that had long since been lost. Not only that, some girls who seem quiet and humble have a whim, thinking that they can show their informal charm by going beyond the usual weird behavior.In fact, on the contrary, men are not so stupid, they know how to judge, and can distinguish trowels from hand saws. Many ostensibly bright women immaturely believe that a woman can turn men head-to-head with "an occasional change of character"—dressing.Our nature is hard to change. What is wrong with the character that God has given us now?We just have to strip it off and let it see the light of day.We can develop our own characteristics and get rid of those shortcomings that make us unattractive, so that we can achieve the best state of ourselves.Anyone should strive to do this, man or woman. Whoever makes the alarmist thesis that there will always be a "war of the sexes" must be a feisty man.I have always wondered why the gender differences between men and women are the reason why they fight with each other?There are many other things more worth fighting for. In any case, women who regard all men as enemies must be deceived and used by nature and human beings, and they will have little chance of gaining the favor of men.She doesn't care about these, she will say that she hates men anyway. A woman who wants to achieve any significant relationship with a man must first accept the role of being a mother, the biological fact that mothers have a special role in human affairs, and understand the basic role of women.Women who refuse to accept the role of mother are not limited to so-called "spinsters"—most of the middle-aged unmarried women I have met are mature, perfect, lovely and attractive—but also some who are always It is a married woman who complains that "being a woman is inferior to others", "nature is really eccentric in creating men and women", etc. as evidence for the theory of "war of the sexes". Whether a person can accept one's gender role frankly does not depend on whether one is married or not, but is the natural result of a correct attitude and emotional maturity.Without acceptance of this basic idea, men and women will not be happy together, and one of the areas of life with the greatest potential for creative achievement will likely be reduced to a battlefield. How to get along with men cannot sum up a set of precise formulas, because there are differences in personality from person to person.But the theories presented in this chapter can at least guide you in deepening your understanding of the opposite sex.In our ideal world, men and women would not be like natural enemies, but would work and play together, hand in hand, in friendship and love, loving each other forever.