Chapter 29 stupid things i've done

Napoleon said: "I am my own worst enemy and the source of my own unfortunate fate." In my personal file, there is a folder that says "Stupid Things I've Done".I have written down all the mistakes I have made and put them in this file.Sometimes I dictate to the secretary to type, but sometimes some questions are too personal or stupid to dictate, so I write them down myself. I can still recall some of the things I entered in my file 15 years ago, and if I had been absolutely honest, the "foolish things I've done" records would have cracked the filing cabinet.But all I did was repeat what King Solomon said 1300 years ago: "I have done foolish things, and I have done many, many foolish things."

Every time I re-read those "foolish things" files and reflect on what I have done, they help me in some way to solve some of the problems I am facing, the most important of which is how to control myself. I used to blame others for the problems I encountered, but as I got older, I realized that all the misfortunes were ultimately my own fault.Many people do not wake up until old age, and regret it too late.Napoleon said this when he was defeated and exiled: "No one else should be responsible for my failure except myself. I am my worst enemy and the source of my unfortunate fate."

I will tell you another story of a man I know well.His name was Howard, and on July 31, 1944, he died suddenly at the Grand Hotel in New York.The news spread throughout the United States and shocked Wall Street. As a leader in the American financial circles, the chairman of American commercial banks and trust investment companies, and the director of several multinational companies, the impact of his death on society is self-evident. .But such a remarkable figure had no formal education of any kind.His first job was just as a clerk in a small shop in the country, and later he became the manager of the loan department of the United States Steel Corporation. Through his own efforts, his social status became higher and higher, and his power became more and more powerful.

"I've had a long-standing habit of recording my work every day," Mr. Howard told me once when I visited him. "The family never arranges for me on Sunday night, because everyone knows that I always take a while on Sunday night. It comes from self-reflection, reviewing and reviewing my work for the week. Over time, the chances of me making mistakes have gradually decreased, and this law of self-reflection has continued year after year, and it has been of great benefit to my life.” Howard's idea may have been borrowed from Franklin, but Franklin would not wait until Sunday night, but revisited the work situation of the day every night.He found that he had 13 very serious mistakes, three of which were: wasting time, worrying about small things, and arguing endlessly.The wise Franklin knew that if he could not overcome these flaws, he could not achieve greatness.To do this, he picks out a shortcoming every week and wrestles with it, recording his wins and losses for the day.This battle of breaking one bad habit every week went on for more than two years.It is this effort that has made him one of the most beloved and influential figures in American history.

Albert Herbert said: "Everyone is stupid for at least five minutes a day. What is called wisdom is how a person does not exceed the limit of these five minutes." Foolish people lose their temper at the slightest criticism, while wise people are eager to learn more lessons from those who blame them, oppose them, and hinder them.The famous American poet Whitman said: "Do you learn everything from those who admire you, compliment you, and stand with you? Learn from those who oppose you, accuse you, and block you. Isn't there more to it?" Don't wait for our enemies to criticize us, outdo them in this.We are to be our own strictest critics, to find out all our faults and correct them before the enemy accuses us.Darwin did exactly this. When he finished his immortal masterpiece, he realized that the publication of this revolutionary book on biological evolution would shake the entire intellectual and religious circles.For this reason, he repeatedly criticized himself, spent 15 years re-examining his own materials, repeatedly studying the theories he proposed, and criticizing the conclusions he drew.

What would you do if someone called you an idiot?angry?Feel insulted?See what Lincoln did.At one point, Secretary of War Edward Stanton called Lincoln a fool.This was so because Lincoln directly interfered with Stanton's business when Lincoln issued an order to mobilize part of the army in order to please a selfish politician.Stanton not only refused to carry out Lincoln's orders, but also called Lincoln stupid.How is the result?When Lincoln heard Stanton's accusation, he replied very calmly: "If Stanton says I am a fool, then I must be a fool, because he almost never makes mistakes. I have to go and see for myself."

Sure enough, Lincoln went to see Stanton, and Stanton explained to him the possible consequences of issuing the order, so Lincoln withdrew it.As long as the criticism is sincere, has sufficient factual basis, and is constructive, Lincoln is very happy to accept it. You and I should be open to criticism that no one can do the right thing, not even three-quarters of the things right.When Roosevelt entered the White House, he said he hoped he could do it.Einstein, the world's most famous scientist, also admitted that his thinking was wrong 99 percent of the time. Rochefanka said: "The enemy's opinion is closer to the truth than our own."

Most of the time I know this is true, but whenever someone criticizes me, if I don't pay attention, I will immediately and instinctively defend myself-without even knowing what the critic is talking about.Whenever this happens, it always annoys me that people don't like to take criticism and always want to hear compliments, regardless of whether the criticism or praise is fair or not.Man is not a logical creature, but an emotional animal. Our thinking logic is like a canoe, drifting in the deep, dark, stormy sea of ​​emotions. If we hear someone speak ill of us, don't instinctively defend ourselves—every fool does.We must be different, be humble, be reasonable, meet those who criticize us, and tell ourselves "if the critic knows all my mistakes, his criticism will be more severe than now", only in this way can we To win the applause of others.

In the previous chapters, I analyzed how to deal with unfair criticism when you encounter it.Here's another way, when you're angry at being criticized by others, stop and say "Wait a minute... how close am I to perfection? What if Einstein admitted ninety percent Nine times he was wrong, and maybe I was wrong at least 80 percent of the time. Maybe I deserved that criticism, and if so, we should appreciate it and benefit from it.” Charles Luckman, president of Pesoden, spends $1 million a year to produce the Bob Hooper show.But he never read the letters praising the show, insisting on reading the criticisms.He knew he could learn many really good things from those letters.

Ford, too, was eager to discover its own management and business flaws.Recently, the company conducted a public opinion survey among all employees, asking them to give their opinions on the company. I knew a soap salesman who often asked others to criticize himself.When he first started selling soap for Kogay, it took him so long to get an order that he feared losing his job.He realized that there was nothing wrong with the quality and price of the soap, and that the problem must lie with him.After each business failed, he would walk up and down the street trying to figure out what went wrong.Is it too vague?Is it not enthusiastic enough?In order to find out what the problem was, he bravely went back to his customers and said to them: "The reason why I came back is not to sell soap again. I want to get advice and criticism. Can you tell me that when I was selling soap a few minutes ago Is there anything wrong? You have more experience and success than me, please criticize me, please tell me unabashedly.”

This sincere attitude won him many friends and many invaluable advice. Guess what happened next?Today he is the chairman of CPP Soap Company, the largest soap company in the world. His name is E. H. Little. Last year, only 14 people in the United States earned more than him. Only extraordinary people can do what Howard, Franklin, and E. H. Little did.Now, since no one is looking at you, why not look in the mirror and ask yourself what type of person you really are? Here's the third rule of thumb for not worrying about being criticized by others: "Keep a record of the foolish things we've done, and criticize ourselves. We can't be perfect, so let's do what E. H. Little did, and ask others to give us frank, helpful, constructive criticism."