Chapter 30 never obey

If we were truly mature beings, we would not need to resort to the talisman of the panic-stricken—obedience, our individuality being lost in the crowd, our blind, unthinking acceptance of the ideas of others. "If you want to be human, you must always be a disobedient. In the end you will have the integrity of the heart, and nothing else is sacred...I have made countless mistakes because I gave up my position and took another person's point of view. look at things." These are the words of the great disobedient Emerson, and they will no doubt come as a shock to anyone who "sees things from another's point of view."

We try to stretch the meaning of Emerson's words: "It is okay to see things from another person's point of view, but be sure to act from your own point of view." If there is any good in maturity, it is in the discovery of our beliefs and the courage to act on them. The young and inexperienced man is afraid of being different .Middle-aged parents of teens are plagued by these questions: "Sally's mother forces her to wear lipstick." "Girls our age go out with boys." "Holy crap! You're trying to turn me into a monster." No one's going to be home before 11 o'clock."  …

Children live in his group, what his classmates and friends think of him and how they accept him is a social phenomenon that he values ​​most.The gap between the standards of this group and the standards that parents expect him to conform to constitutes the greatest obstacle to the child's adolescence.This is a tricky question for both parents and children. If we are placed in an unfamiliar environment and have no experience to follow, if we are wise, we should follow widely recognized standards and wait for the moment when our beliefs and standards can generate experience and confidence. Only fools Rebellion starts before you even know what you are rebelling against and why.

However, one day, we will form our own values.For example, we know that honesty is indeed of great benefit to us. Adults taught us this when we were young, and when we grow up, we ourselves have a deeper understanding of the importance of honesty to us.Fortunately most of us live by those major fundamentals, otherwise, we'd be living in anarchy all the time. Of course, there are times when the most basic principles are challenged. At this time, those who do not blindly follow the general thinking will become the driving force for civilization to move forward.Slavery existed justifiably, and no one raised an objection, until some radical advocated its abolition.A series of unreasonable phenomena such as poor child labor, cruel punishment, and abominable counterfeiting were once foolishly accepted by the public. It was only through the fierce resistance of a determined few that slavery was finally abolished.

It is not an easy task not to blindly follow the thoughts of ordinary people, and it often brings unpleasantness and even danger to people.Therefore, most people in life would rather follow the public step by step, be protected by the public, and accept the guidance of the public without doubting or arguing.Little do they know that this sense of security is self-deceiving: in fact, the most vulnerable people are those who are frightened and run around. Blindly obeying and seeking advantages and avoiding disadvantages will turn people into slaves.Only those who have the courage to accept the challenges of life, devote themselves to the struggle of life, and dare to participate in the debate of any resolution, can such a person gain true freedom.The famous war correspondent and author Edgar Murray put it this way: "No man or woman in the world can achieve the ideal state of honesty and integrity through the possession of the virtues of forbearance—adjustment, planning, or contentment. . . . Excellence (and the culmination of happiness) must be brought to bear, and the perfect human being has walked the path of our ancestors, endured hardship, and thrived."

As we said earlier, the courage to take responsibility is a characteristic of maturity.Growing up means breaking away from the wings of your parents and stepping into a wider world. If we can really mature, we don't have to obey out of fear, hide our individuality in groups, and accept other people's ideas without opinions. A person who can organize his own life and has a sense of mission does not need someone to remind him how valuable it is to stand up and stand up to fight against all mankind when necessary. He will be so fanatical that he will go all out and make no other choice.Because there is a powerful motivation in his heart that inspires him to overcome all obstacles and move forward bravely.

But there are others (like us) who are often controlled by group pressure, and we only think that since so many people disagree with us, then we are wrong.We gave up our faith under the pressure of numbers.When enough people disagree, we lack or even lose confidence in our own judgment. Some people think that nonconformity is synonymous with being weird or superficial "different."Growing a beard, walking barefoot, or some women going to the opera to smoke a cigarette, etc., does not represent freedom and independence, but immature people with IQs equal to pushy monkeys put on a show.

Maturity helps us build beliefs and stick to them.Everyone has the obligation to choose the best way for himself, for mankind, and for God, and strive for the happiness of mankind with all his heart. I most admire Emerson's stand on this point.He has supported many major anti-slavery movements simply because he believed that such work would do more for society.This lofty thought inspired him to keep fighting for the abolition of slavery.His attitude stems from his principles, and he is happy to lose the name of his principles. It takes courage to stick to an unrecognized goal or to stand against the public. A person who does not blindly follow the public's thinking and who can stand up and stick to his beliefs is the bravest person.

Recently, I was at a social gathering.During the meeting, people's topic pointed to a controversial issue that often appeared in the newspapers recently.Almost all of the guests were of the same opinion, except one who politely avoided talking until someone asked him to offer his opinion. "I wish you hadn't asked me," he said with a smile, "because I hold the opposite opinion, and this is a social situation. But since you asked me, I'll just say My point of view." He roughly talked about his point of view, and he was besieged, but he did not back down, even if no one supported him, he insisted on his own point of view.Although he did not win the approval of a single person, he was respected for standing up for what he believed in, while perfectly capable of agreeing with the majority.

In the past, in order to survive, people acted entirely on their own judgment.When we look at the pioneers of the West, they could not find expert advice or follow the trend. If there was a crisis or emergency, they had to solve it themselves.Sick?There is no doctor to be found, and they use homemade medicines based on common sense.Someone came to sneak attack?There are no policemen on the prairie, so you have to rely on your own strength and strategy.Building a shelter for the family?There are no construction contractors there, they rely on their hands and skills.food?They have to plant or find it themselves.All the problems in life need to be solved by themselves, and in fact, they solve them very well.

Today, we live in an era where experts exist, so we have become accustomed to listening to these authoritative opinions in everything, and gradually lose the confidence to independently express opinions or build beliefs.Experts are also used to all this, and it is the result of our surrender. Our current education follows the concept of preconceived personality models.For example, the popularity of "leadership training" ignores the fact that most of us are followers rather than leaders.It is necessary for us to receive leadership training, but we are more likely to be led, know how to be human, and follow the leader intelligently and thoughtfully, rather than being a herd of cattle blindly walking into the slaughterhouse. Educator Walter B. Barber once said that our descendants are being trained to develop their outer personality traits to approximate the national ideal of a perfect personality - gregarious, popular, adaptable to the crowd Wait.Mr Barber pointed out that there is no place for a cowering child.Cringe because of emotional incompatibility, children should be in the game and want to be the leader, each child should give a clear opinion on the topic, each child should strive to be liked by the other children. He emphasized that if our educational system attempts to produce the happiest and most capable citizens, it must be in children who do not follow conventional wisdom, who are more interested in reading than baseball and music than soccer. There is a place where such children must be encouraged to be different and not trained to be children of maladaptive habits. It takes a lot of courage on the part of the parents to send their children to public schools.Some would suggest that they let education experts handle these things.But then a young man came forward and took issue with the way his son was being educated.His approach is the approach of not blindly following general thinking, and he is confident in what he believes.He came out with his doubts, and a year later, he became an education committee member of the community.Hundreds of children, including his own, are now reaping the benefits of the education reforms he fought for at that night's rally. Pediatricians teach us how to feed and care for our children; child psychologists teach us how to help children develop appropriate behavior patterns; business consultants teach us how to run a business; even our love lives have been intervened by experts, it has been studied, charted, and then analyzed in detail to the public, who accepts those results and applies them to their own love lives. People who dare to admit that they are the most authoritative experts in the world-whether for themselves, their families or their careers-are a thing of the past.I admire someone who can follow the "experts" to follow the trend, which is like a pep talk, but I beg to differ. Edgar Murray once gave advice to our "herd country" through his book-don't deny the supreme value of the individual. Writing in the Saturday Literary Review, he wrote: "This denial is like the tyranny of Nazism, and if American individuality can be renounced by threats of intimidation or bribery, their Where does the government's respect come from?" Mr. Murray concluded by saying: "If you can't be an angel, you can't be an ant." Now it seems that "becoming yourself" has become the most difficult goal for us to achieve. In this society based on overproduction, advanced technology and integrated education, it is difficult to understand ourselves, but to "become yourself" Ourselves" is even more difficult.We are used to dividing people into categories: "he's a union guy," "she's a company employee's wife," "he's a liberal," or "a dissident."We label ourselves, and we label others, like a child's game of "cops and burglars." Princeton President Harold W. Doce was so concerned that disobedience would yield to obedience that he chose "The Importance of Being a Person" as the title of his June 1955 injunction for Princeton graduates. "No matter how much pressure you have to conform to others," he admonished graduates, "if you can truly be yourself, you will realize that no matter what rationale you give for submission, it will not succeed unless you Abandon your last capital - self-esteem." The argument given by President Deuss is also thought-provoking: "Man can only find out in his own heart why he came to this world, what he should do in the world, and where he will go." Sir Percy Spender, Australia's ambassador to the United States, was Chancellor Emeritus of Union College and Union University, Kinicketardy, New York. On the day he took office in June 1955, he said: "With life, we can develop our talents. We all have special obligations to the country, society and family, because we know that if we want life to be valuable, we must fulfill our obligations." Proper duties are just, and, in this orderly society, if we assume these duties, we have the right and opportunity to express our talents and individuality, and in doing so for ourselves and our loved ones, our fellow human beings, and indeed all mankind, develop their own identity in the process of creating happiness." Only a mature mind can perceive this potential more easily, and only a mature person can have the pride of "I would rather be lower than an angel than a little higher than an ape" and live bravely.To the mature mind, the mature man, obedience--the talisman of the panic-stricken man--is but a distant conception, for his mind has agreed with Emerson that the integrity of the individual mind is most sacred.