Chapter 46 Section 5 If you want to be happy, please dedicate yourself first

Everyone will encounter misfortune and setbacks in their life. When you face this situation, it is better to face the reality and actively solve it. As time goes by, you will get out of the predicament and misfortune. Closed, let your life fall into pain and anxiety? A few years ago, a friend of mine lost her husband, and she fell into a "loneliness" tide.A month after my husband died, she came to me one night asking for help: "What should I do? Where should I live? How can I find happiness again?" I told her that her anxiety stemmed from her husband's death and that she should get out of it as soon as possible.So I suggested that she get out of the shadow of her husband's death and start a new life and happiness.

To my suggestion, she replied: "No, I can't be happy anymore. I'm old, and my children are already married. Where can I live?" The poor widow suffered from self-pity, and she didn't know how to cure it.In the past 5 years, I have been paying attention to this friend of mine, but the results are not satisfactory. Once I said to her: "You can't let others always sympathize with you and pity you? You can start a new life, meet new friends, or develop new interests and hobbies..." But she was too self-pitying, and these words couldn't reach her heart at all.Finally she decided to pin her happiness on her children, so she moved to live with her daughter.

However, this was not a wise move, and the mother and daughter turned against each other in the end.Later, she moved to her son's house again, which also ended in misfortune.No way, the children had no choice but to get a first-floor apartment for her to live in, but this couldn't solve her problem at all.One afternoon, she came to me crying and said that her family had abandoned her. She can never make herself happy, she just wants everyone to pity her.She is an extremely selfish woman. Although she is 61 years old, emotionally, she is just a child. Many lonely people are so because they don't understand that love and friendship are not gifts that just fall from the sky.If a person wants to be welcomed by others, or to be accepted by others, he must pay a lot of effort and price.It does take a little effort to get people to like us.Love, friendship or happy times are not defined by a contract.Let's face it, whether it's the death of a husband or a death of a wife, the living have the right to live happily ever after.But they must understand that happiness does not depend on others to give, but to win others' needs and love for you.

Let us look at such a woman, she is on a passenger ship sailing in the Mediterranean Sea, the passengers on board are mostly happy couples and unmarried couples, they are vacationing at sea, but this old lady is alone, she is 61 years old No, but she was very happy and beaming. Her sea voyage was her first test of finding happiness.She, too, was a widow, and had suffered the same grief as my friend.However, one morning, she suddenly realized that she could no longer live a sad and decadent life, so she made up her mind to get rid of the past sadness and devote herself to a new life.Of course, this is also a decision she made after careful consideration.

Her husband had been her love and life, but that was all over.She had to make herself happy again.As a result, she regained her old interest in painting and made painting an important activity in her life.During those sad days, painting not only accompanied her through grief, but also brought her an independent career. During the first period, having lost her husband as a companion and strength, she refused to go out and was ashamed to see people.She has neither a good appearance nor a huge amount of wealth. During those days when her heart was full of doubts and despair, she asked herself what she could do and how she could be accepted and welcomed by everyone.Later, she found the answer - if she wants to be accepted by others, she must work hard instead of begging for others to give.

So, she replaced her sadness with a smile, she worked hard to paint, and she took the initiative to visit her friends. At this time, she secretly reminded herself to show a happy expression. She often talked and laughed happily, and never stayed for a long time.Gradually, her friends began to like her, and invited her to a banquet, and even the community activity center invited her to hold an art exhibition. One day a few months later, in the evening, she boarded the Mediterranean passenger ship.On board, she is very friendly to everyone and has a detached demeanor.She never intervenes in other people's personal grievances, nor does she cling to a certain one.In no time she was the most popular visitor on board.

Just the night before the liner docked, the tourists had a merry party in her cabin.At parties she humbly responds to invitations from others on her journey.Later, the lady made several trips to sea.She understood the truth: If she wants to gain the friendship of others, she must first care about life and dedicate herself.So, no matter where she goes, she can create this harmonious atmosphere and win everyone's love.