Chapter 34 Section 9 Creating Joy for Others

Many patients cannot find any cause medically, they just cannot find purpose in life and feel sorry for themselves. Being nice to others is not a duty, it is an enjoyment because it improves your health and happiness.When you are kind to others, that is when you are best to yourself. If a person wants to be happy in life, he should not only think about himself, but also think about others, because happiness comes from you being others and others being you. A word by the famous psychologist Adler once shocked me very much.He often said to those suffering from depression: "Do one good thing to make others happy every day. According to this prescription, you can be guaranteed to cure depression within 14 days."

Dr. Adler urges us to do one good deed every day. Why does doing one good deed every day have such great benefits for people?The reason is that when you want to please others, you don't have time to think about yourself, and the main cause of worry, fear and depression is thinking about yourself. You might say, "My life is nothing short of ordinary. I have to do 8 hours of boring work a day, and nothing interesting ever happens to me. How can I be interested in helping others? Why should I?" Helping others? What's in it for me?" That's a fair question, and I'll try to answer it.No matter how monotonous your life is, you will inevitably meet some people every day, how do you treat them?Are you just turning a blind eye, or do you want to know him better?For example, a postman travels hundreds of miles a day to deliver letters to people. Have you ever bothered to find out where he lives and see pictures of his wife and daughter?Did you ask him if he was tired or bored?

Or the grocery delivery kid, the newspaper delivery boy, the shoe shine boy?They are all human too!They also have worries, dreams, and personal ambitions!They also want to share with others, the question is are you giving them a chance?Have you ever expressed an earnest and genuine interest in them?It's that kind of thing I'm talking about.You don't have to be Nightingale or a social reformer to help the world—your personal world, which you can change from the first person you meet tomorrow morning. What good does it do you?That of course brings greater happiness, greater satisfaction, and greater pride in oneself.Aristotle called this attitude "civilized selfishness."Zorost said: "Being kind to others is not a responsibility, it is a kind of enjoyment, because it can improve your health and happiness." Franklin put it more simply: "When you are kind to others, you are also best to yourself. Good time."

Lin Ke, director of the New York Psychological Services Center, once said: "I think one of the most important discoveries of modern psychology is that it is scientifically proven that self-sacrifice and discipline are necessary for self-realization and happiness." Thinking more about others can not only save yourself from troubles, but also make more friends and have more fun.I asked Professor William Phelps of Yale University, and here is his answer: "When I go to a hotel, barbershop or store, I make sure to talk to the people I meet. I want them to feel like they are a human being, not a cog in a machine. Sometimes I compliment the waitresses in the store Eyes or hair are beautiful. I will ask them if they are tired of standing all day for a haircut. I ask him how he got into the hairdressing industry, such as how long he has been doing it, how many times he has had it cut? I count them for him. I found It gives them great pleasure to be interested in them. I often shake hands with the baggage porter. After a long day at work, it refreshes his spirits. One hot summer day, I go to the dining car of the train for lunch. The dining car Crowded, stuffy, and slow service. The waiter finally came over and gave me the menu, and I said 'what a miserable day for those who cook in the kitchen'. The waiter started swearing, I thought he was mad, he Say 'oh my god! The customers are complaining about the food, they complain about the slow service, it's too hot and the food is too expensive. I've been hearing these complaints for 19 years and you're the first and only person Guests who the chef has expressed sympathy for. I pray there will be more guests like you'."

The waiter was so amazed that I treated the chef as a human being, and all human beings want is to be treated as human beings.Sometimes I meet someone walking a dog on the road, and I never forget to admire that dog.When I pass by and look back, I often see the man pat his dog appreciatively, my admiration rekindling his appreciation. Once in England, I met a priest, and I really admired his strong and clever collie.I asked him to tell me how to train the dog.After I walked away, I looked back and saw the collie resting on its owner's shoulder, and the owner was patting its head.Just by showing interest in the shepherd's dog, I can make the shepherd happy, the dog happy, and of course myself happier.

Can you imagine someone who shakes hands with the porters, expresses sympathy to the cook, or compliments people on how great their dog is all the time needs a therapist?You must not imagine it!There is a Chinese proverb that says, "A rose with someone, a fragrance in your hand." The following passage is the story of a woman who is now a grandmother.A few years ago, I went to her small town to give a speech, stayed at her house for one night, and the next day she drove me to a station 50 miles away to catch a train.We talked about how to make friends and she said: "Mr. Carnegie, I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone—not even my husband. Our family used to be on social assistance in Philadelphia. The biggest of my young years The tragedies all come from our poverty. I have never been able to enjoy a proper social life like other young girls. My clothes are poor and often too small, stretched to the body, and of course the styles are outdated. I feel shameless and often Crying to sleep. In desperation, I suddenly had a plan. Every time at the party, I asked my boyfriend to talk about his experience, thoughts and plans for the future. I asked these questions, not to them I was particularly interested in the answers, really just trying to distract them from seeing my shabby attire. But something amazing happened. As I listened to these young people talk, I learned something and a genuine feeling began to emerge. I became interested and I forgot about the clothes myself. But what amazes me the most is that because I am a good listener and I encourage them to talk about themselves, they are always happy when they are with me , I gradually became the most popular girl, and 3 men asked me to marry him."

Some people may see this and say: "Why are you interested in other people's affairs? It's all nonsense! I don't bother to ask about other people's affairs. I just want to make money and get what I'm after. Just meddle in other people's business." What are you doing?" Of course, you have freedom of choice, you can do what you want, but if you are right, then all the ancient sages - Jesus, Confucius, Buddha, Plato, Aristotle, Socrates Waiting is all wrong.Maybe you have an aversion to religious gurus, so let me give you a few examples of atheists.The first example is Professor Housman of Cambridge University, who is a very famous contemporary scholar. In 1936, he mentioned in his speech "The Name and Quality of Poetry" in Cambridge that Jesus said: "He who loses his life because of me will have eternal life." This is indeed an eternal truth and the most profound moral discovery.

We hear this from missionaries all the time, and Professor Housman, an atheist as well as a pessimist, still finds it impossible to live a true life by thinking only of himself. Man was born, in fact, to live badly.On the contrary, the joy of life is enjoyed by those who forget themselves and serve others. And if that doesn't impress you, let's look at the most prominent American atheist of the 20th century—Theodore Dreiser.Dreiser sees all religions as myths, and life as "a fool's tale without any meaning."Dreiser followed one of Jesus' teachings—to serve others.Dreiser said: "If a person wants to get any happiness from life, he should not only think of himself, but of others, because happiness comes from you for others and others for you."

If we really want to help others live better, as Dreiser said, we should act now and stop wasting time.This is the road of life I travel only once, if I can do any good - please let me do it now, let me not delay nor despise, for I will never travel this way again.