Chapter 30 Section 5 Don’t imitate others, be yourself

You are a brand new self every day in this world, be happy for that!Make good use of your talents.One day one learns that envy is useless and that imitating another is suicidal. The question of being who you are is "as old as human history."Dr. James Gordon Kilkay stated that "it is a problem for all mankind."The hidden cause of many mental and neuropsychological problems is often that they cannot maintain themselves.Angelo Patry, author of thirteen books and thousands of newspaper articles on child training, once said: "The worst thing a man can do is not be himself and remain himself in body and mind .”

But this phenomenon of imitating others is quite serious in Hollywood.The famous Hollywood director Sam Wood once said that the most troublesome thing for him is to help young actors overcome this problem and maintain themselves.Each of them wants to be a second-rate Lana Telles or a third-rate Clark Gable. "The audience has had that taste," Sam Wood kept admonishing them, "and they need something new now." Sam Wood spent years in real estate before directing such big hits as Farewell, Mr. Hipps and The Bell Tolls, so he developed a kind of salesman personality of his own.He believes that some of the rules in the business world also fully apply in the film world.Totally imitating someone else will never accomplish anything. "I've learned from experience," says Sam Wood, "that it's safest to avoid actors who imitate others."

I also asked Paul Burnton, the HR director of an oil company, what the biggest mistake job candidates make.He has interviewed more than 6,000 people, and he has also written a book "Six Skills for Job Hunting", so he should know this question very well.He replied, "The biggest mistake job applicants make is not being themselves. They often don't answer questions honestly, they just want to say the answer he thinks you want to hear." But that doesn't help at all, because no one will. To listen to something that is untrue, false. I know a bus driver's daughter who learned this lesson the hard way.She wants to be a singer, but unfortunately she is not good-looking, with a big mouth and buck teeth.The first time she sang publicly at a nightclub in New Jersey, she kept trying to cover her teeth with her upper lip.She was doomed to fail when she tried to look elegant and ended up disfiguring herself.

Fortunately, one of the men present that night thought she had a great singing talent. He said to her bluntly: "I saw your performance, and I can see what you are trying to hide. Do you think your teeth are ugly?" The girl was embarrassed, but the man went on, "So what about buck teeth? That's not a crime! Don't try to cover it up, just open your mouth and sing. The less you think about it, the more people will love you." Besides, these buck teeth that you are ashamed of now may bring you wealth in the future!" Kath Daly took the man's advice to put the buck teeth thing behind her, and from then on, she focused only on the audience.She sang with all her heart, and later became a top singer in movies and radio. Now, other singers want to imitate her.

William James once said: "The average person's mental capacity usage rate does not exceed 10%, and most people don't know what talents they still have. Compared with what we should achieve, in fact, more than half of us are not awake. We use only a small fraction of our physical and mental resources. Humans tend to live within our own limitations, we have all kinds of resources, but we often fail to use them successfully." With so much untapped potential in you and me, why worry about not being like everyone else.You are unique in this world.There has never been anyone like you before, and there never will be.Genetics tells us that you are composed of 23 chromosomes from your father and mother. These 46 chromosomes determine your inheritance. There are hundreds of genes in each chromosome, and any single gene is enough to change a person's life. .Indeed, the formation of human life is an awesome mystery.

Even if your parents met and fell in love and conceived you, there is only a one in three billion trillion chance of having someone who is exactly like you, that is to say, even if you have 300 trillion siblings, they are all different from you.Is this just speculation?Of course not, this is entirely a scientific fact.If you don't believe me, read a book about it. I am well qualified to speak on this subject because I have experienced it myself, and it has been a painful and expensive experience.When I came to New York from the cornfields of Missouri, I signed up for the American Theater, and I aspired to be an actor.I had a smart idea at the time, a shortcut to success, so simple and easy to implement, I really don't understand how others can't think of it.The idea is to study the famous actors at that time and combine their strengths into my own.How stupid!After spending years imitating others, I realized that I can't imitate anyone, I can only be myself.

Such a painful experience should make me never imitate others for the rest of my life!But no, I'm so stupid, I have to go through another pain.A few years later, I was writing a book on public speaking.I had the same stupid idea of ​​borrowing ideas from other books and compiling them into one book, an all-encompassing book.So I got a bunch of books on public speaking and spent a year taking their ideas and turning them into articles.Finally, I found myself being a fool again.Turning other people's ideas into your own article will only make the article dry and boring, and no one will read it.So I threw all the results of this year's work into the wastebasket and started all over again.

be yourself!This is also the advice of the American composer Irving Berlin to the later composer George Gershwin.When Berlin and Gershwin first met, Berlin was already well-known, but Gershwin was just an unknown young composer.Berlin appreciated Gershwin's talent very much, and hired him as a music secretary with three times the salary that Gershwin could earn.But Berlin also advised Gershwin: "Don't accept this job. If you accept this job, you can only become a No. 2 Irving Berlin. If you can persevere, one day, you will become a first-rate Gershwin. " Gershwin took the advice and gradually became one of the most significant contemporary American composers.

People like Charlie Chaplin and everyone else have learned this lesson, and most of them have to pay the price first. When Chaplin started making films, the director asked him to imitate the famous movie stars at that time, but he failed to achieve anything until he started to be himself, and he gradually succeeded.Bob Hope had a similar experience. He had been singing and dancing for many years before he really took off when he developed his talent. When Mary McBride first hit the radio, she tried unsuccessfully to imitate an Irish star.It wasn't until she was what she really was—a country girl from Missouri—that she became the biggest on-air star in New York City.

Jiri Oatley has been trying to get rid of his Texas accent, dress like a city person, and claim to be a New Yorker, only to attract ridicule from others behind his back.He later returned to the shamisen and sang country songs, establishing his status as the most popular cowboy in film and radio. You are a brand new you in this world, be happy for that!Make good use of your talents.Ultimately, all art is an expression of the self.You can only sing about yourself, draw about yourself.Your experiences, environment and genetics make you who you are.For better or worse, you can only manage your own little garden, and for better or worse, you can only play your own instrument in the orchestra of life.

Emerson said in his short essay "Self-Reliance": "One day one will understand that envy is useless, and imitating others is tantamount to suicide. For good or bad, only oneself can help oneself, and only You can harvest your own corn by cultivating your own field. The ability that God has given you is unique, and you will only know what it is when you try and use it yourself."