Chapter 14 Section 4 Learn to accept what cannot be changed

The willingness to accept the unchangeable is the first step in overcoming any misfortune that comes with it. When I was a child, I was playing with some friends in the attic of an old dilapidated log house one day.While jumping down from the attic, the ring on my left index finger caught on a nail and pulled my entire finger off.I was in pain and terrified.After the hand was healed, I had no worries and accepted this fact that could have been avoided. Now, I hardly ever think about it, I only have four fingers on my left hand.I often think of a line inscribed on the ruins of a 15th-century church in Amsterdam, the capital of the Netherlands: "This is the way it is, it can't be otherwise."

In the long years, you and I will definitely encounter some unpleasant situations. If they are this way, they cannot be different. We also have a choice.We can accept them as an unavoidable situation and get used to it; or, we let worry ruin our lives. Here's some advice from my favorite philosopher, William James: "Be willing to admit that it is what it is. Accepting it as it is is the first step in overcoming any misfortune that comes with it." The late George V hung the following words in his room at Buckingham Palace: "Teach me not to cry for the moon, and not to regret things." Schopenhauer also said: "To be obedient is to step on your feet The most important thing in the journey of life."

Clearly, circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy, but our reactions to our surroundings determine how we feel. We are all able to endure disaster and tragedy, and even overcome them, when necessary.The power within us is amazingly strong, and it can help us overcome anything if we harness it. The late Booth Tarkington always said, "I can bear anything in life except one. Blindness. That I can never bear." However, in his sixties his eyesight declined and he was nearly blind in one eye and nearly blind in the other.His worst fear had finally happened. How did Tarkington react to this?It hadn't occurred to him himself that he could still be very happy, and even use his sense of humor.When the biggest black spots passed by his eyes, he said: "Hey, it's the old black spot grandpa again. I don't know where it is going in such a beautiful weather today?"

After Tarkington became completely blind, he said: "I found that I could bear the loss of my vision, just as a person can bear anything else. If I lost all five senses, I also knew I could go on living in the in my mind." In order to restore his eyesight, Tarkington underwent 12 operations within a year, and the operation was performed by a local ophthalmologist.He knew he couldn't escape it, so the only way to alleviate his suffering was to accept it readily.He refused to live in a single room, and was admitted to a large ward with other patients.He tries to make everyone happy.During the operation, he tried his best to let himself think how lucky he was, "How wonderful, with the development of modern technology, it is already possible to operate on something as delicate as the human eye."

If the average person has to endure more than 12 surgeries and live without seeing the sun, they will probably become crazy.But it had taught Tarkington how to bear, it had taught him that there was nothing life could offer him that he was beyond his capacity to bear. We cannot change those inevitable facts, but we can change ourselves.I have tried it myself. Once, I refused to accept an inevitable situation I encountered, and as a result, I suffered from sleepless nights.I made myself think of all the things I didn't want to think about, and after a year of self-abuse like this, I finally accepted what I knew all along was impossible to change.

I'm not saying that when you encounter any setbacks, you should bow down and become a fatalist.In either case, as long as there is still a chance of salvation, we will fight.But when common sense tells us that things are inevitable, and there is no possibility of any turning point, then, in order to maintain reason, we should not "look left and right, worry about nothing". While writing this book, I interviewed some prominent American businessmen.What impresses me the most is that most of them have the ability to accept the situation they cannot avoid, so that they can live a carefree life.If they do not have this ability, they are all overwhelmed by too much pressure.Below are a few good examples.

Penny, who started a chain of stores across the United States, told me: "Even if I lost all my money, I wouldn't worry because I couldn't see what worrying would get me. I did my job as well as I could. , As for the result, it depends on God." Henry Ford told me something similar: "When things can't be dealt with, I let them deal with them." If we don't absorb these, but instead fight against the setbacks we encounter in life, we will have a series of inner contradictions, we will be worried, tense, impatient and neurotic. If we take another step back, we abandon the unhappiness of the real society and retreat into a dream world of our own.Then we'd be insane.

"Accept lightly what is inevitable." This is a sentence from 399 BC.But in a world of anxiety, these few words are needed today more than ever. For the past eight years, I've specifically read every book and every article I could find on how to stop worrying.After reading so many newspaper articles, magazines, you know what's the best bit of advice I've ever found?Here are just a few lines—a priceless prayer offered by Rehnhe Neubel, professor of practical theology at New York's Union Industrial Theological Seminary—only 41 words in total: