Chapter 56 remove the stone of suspicion

Be more considerate of people, know how to appreciate others' strengths, forgive others' shortcomings, and not deliberately pick on others, and you can get a kind of happiness with peace of mind.Having a heart that is considerate of others is like getting a key that can open the door to happiness in your heart at any time. Suspicion is one of the weaknesses of human nature. Once a person falls into the trap of suspicion, he will be neurotic and suspicious of everything.When you lose trust in others, you also have doubts about yourself.Suspicion often starts from a certain imaginary target, and finally returns to the imaginary target, just like a circle, which becomes thicker and rounder as it is drawn.The emergence and development of suspicion in real life is almost all related to this closed thinking.

Suspicion is related to a person's strong selfish desires.Such selfish desires include lust for power, lust for money, lust for sex, etc.The greater the selfish desire, the stronger the suspicion.If a person is selfless, his actions must be fearless.If a person is always worrying about gains and losses, then his behavior will always be self-interested, so he will force himself to be "extremely careful" and "extremely cautious" everywhere.Use your own "small eyes" to measure and evaluate others, and be full of doubts and distrust. Mary is a college student who has just graduated for less than a year and is currently working in a good company.At work, she pays great attention to her own words and demeanor, lest if she is not careful, it will affect the views of her leaders and colleagues.Once, she successfully completed a design drawing. When she was happy, she couldn't help blurting out: It's really great!The colleague at the next table heard the sound and glanced up at her, she immediately became nervous, that's terrible!Colleagues must think I'm getting carried away.Once again, when she heard the word "new employee" mentioned by the department head in a conversation with someone, with a serious expression on her face, her heart tightened. She must have said something bad about me.

Excessive suspicion makes her restless all day long. Whenever she sees other people looking bad or two or three people talking in a low voice, she will worry whether others are targeting her.Excessive suspicion made him physically and mentally exhausted, and he felt that the surrounding environment was getting worse and worse, so he finally resigned and left. In fact, other people's attitudes are mostly a reflection of their emotions. Everyone experiences their own emotions, which may not have much to do with you. Being overly sensitive and suspicious is essentially a reaction of excessive psychological projection outward.

The British philosopher Bacon once said: "Suspicion is like a bat. It always takes off in the dark. This kind of mood is confusing and confusing. It can make people confused, confuse friends and enemies, and destroy the world." human business." Suspicious people are usually overly sensitive.Sensitivity is not a bad thing, but if it is too sensitive, it is easy to plant the seeds of harm to others and yourself.If suspicion is allowed to spread and develop, it will often form an aggressive and abnormal personality.If you want to add points to your emotional intelligence, how to dispel suspicion is a must for you.

(1) Eliminate suspicion in thinking. Once a person is locked by the rope of suspicion, he must be nervous everywhere, suspicious of others and himself, and damage normal interpersonal relationships.So, how to eliminate this bad psychology at work?Broadening your mind can increase your trust in others and eliminate a person's bad psychology.Therefore, to eliminate suspicion, we must first improve personal cultivation and optimize our psychological quality. Getting rid of wrong ways of thinking is also an effective way to avoid suspicion.Thinking is a kind of bondage to people, and thinking will lead people into a dead end.Only by changing the way of thinking can the suspicion heart be fundamentally changed.Suspicion is a psychological barrier set by suspicious people on their own minds.If a person can open his heart and increase his psychological transparency, his suspicion will naturally dissipate.

(2) Use reason and self-confidence to resolve suspicion. Reason can resolve suspicion, because suspicion is an emotion, and reason is a good medicine for dispelling suspicion.When you start to doubt others, you must immediately find out the reason for the doubt, and you can dialectically analyze the information from both positive and negative aspects, so that doubts will not pile up in your heart like a cloud.At the same time, calm thinking is also an essential condition for dispelling suspicion. You can see your own strengths and believe that you can handle interpersonal relationships well with those around you and leave a good impression on others.When we carry out work and life with confidence, we don't have to worry about our own behavior, and we don't casually suspect whether others will find fault with us or make things difficult for us.

At work, criticism and rumors occur from time to time, and misunderstanding with others is also an inevitable and normal thing.When others have doubts about yourself, you should comfort yourself not to get entangled with other people's gossip, and not to care about other people's opinions. This will not only liberate yourself, but also achieve a small spiritual victory, and the doubts will naturally disappear. (3) Self-comfort and enhance adjustment ability. One of the main reasons for suspicion is always worrying about other people's irresponsible remarks, especially caring about other people's negative evaluation of themselves.When a person lives in society, it is inevitable to be criticized and rumored by others or to have misunderstandings with others.If you care too much about what other people think, you will lose yourself.