Chapter 53 Become a master of observation

We can understand a person's character through his words, and we can peek into a person's heart through his eyes, including a person's clothing, sitting posture, and gestures, which will betray their owners unconsciously.Therefore, learning to observe words and expressions is of great help to us in understanding and diluting each other's psychology, and it will make mutual communication smoother. Observing words and emotions is the basic skill to manipulate freely in all human relationships.If you don't know what to say, it's like turning the tiller without knowing the direction of the wind. If you don't do it well, you may capsize the boat in a small wind and waves.

Speech can tell you a person's status, character, quality and even reveal his inner emotions. Therefore, listening to the subtext is the key to "observing words". Looking at color is like looking at the weather, and looking at a person's face should be like "looking at the clouds to know the weather", which has a deep knowledge.Because not everyone can show joy and anger at all times and occasions, on the contrary, "smile on the face, cry on the heart". Although intuition is sensitive, it is easy to be deceived by others. Knowing how to reason and judge is the top skill pursued by observing words and emotions.Words can reveal a person's character, facial expressions and eyes can allow us to peek into the heart of others, and clothing, sitting posture, and gestures can also betray their owners unconsciously.

There was a poor man who fell ill and became so sick that the doctor said there was no hope for him.The patient prayed to the gods, saying that if he could recover and get out of bed, he would sacrifice a hundred bulls and give gifts to fulfill his vows.His wife was standing by, and when he heard him say this, she asked, "Where did you get this money to pay back your vow?" He replied, "You think God let me get out of bed because I was ill to ask for these things from me?" something?" The story is that people are most likely to agree to things that they don't want to do, and sometimes people don't agree with each other.From this point of view, observing words is a very learned skill.People's inner thoughts sometimes come out verbally without knowing it. Therefore, when talking with others, as long as we pay attention, we can know the inner world of others from the conversation.

(1) Know the psychology from the topic. People often bring emotions out of a topic unconsciously.There are various types of topics. If you want to understand the personality, temperament, and thoughts of the other party, the easiest step is to observe the relationship between the topic and the speaker himself, and you can get a lot of information from here. For example, in the world of young lads, their favorite topic of conversation is cars.Magazines about cars sell as well as music and football magazines.The topics of the young men almost all involve the brand of the car, the travel distance, the speed, etc., although most of them cannot afford a car for the time being.

In fact, they are so keen on the topic of cars, just to show that they have the ability to buy cars in the future, or that they know a lot about these things. This is also a fashionable topic, nothing more than to show themselves.Therefore, you have to listen to them attentively, and it is best not to put on an annoying or impatient face. Your patience can satisfy their vanity. (2) The expression on the face, the clouds in the sky. Watching color refers to observing people's faces and knowing the other person's emotions.This is the same reason that old hunters deduced cloudy, sunny, rainy and snowy by looking at the changes of clouds.

Human psychological activities are very subtle, but this subtlety often emerges from expressions.If you encounter happy things, the cheek muscles will relax, and when you encounter sad situations, you will naturally burst into tears.However, there are also some people who are unwilling to let others see these inner activities. Just looking at it on the surface will make people make mistakes in judgment. For example, at a business meeting, the other party smiled and showed complete satisfaction, which made people feel at ease that the negotiation was successful, "I understand, what you said is very reasonable, I will definitely think about it this time." But The final result ended in failure.From this point of view, we cannot simply judge the other party's true emotions from the expression.

(3) Identify people's hearts through "eyes". From a medical point of view, the eyes are the most sensitive among the five sense organs of human beings, accounting for more than 70% of the sensory field, so they are called "the king of the five sense organs". Desires and emotions in the deep psychology are first reflected in the line of sight. The movement, direction, and concentration of the line of sight express different psychological states. Observing changes in the line of sight is helpful for communication between people.It is not difficult to see the situation in the house clearly by climbing on the window sill, and one can know people's inner state by reading people's eyes.

When you see that his eyes are moving differently than usual, you can understand that he has a trick in his heart and wants to give you a hard time.At this time, you should take every step carefully, don't approach lightly, the front, rear, left, and right may be traps arranged by him, and if you stumble, you will fall into his hands.Don't trust his sweet words too much, this is the bait on the hook, the sugar coating on the poison, so be extra careful. You can see that his eyes are dull and his lips are white, you can understand that he is panicked about the current problem, even though he says it's okay, although he is not desperate, he is indeed still thinking of a way, but he can't think of a reason at all.You don't need to ask any more questions, you should consider the solution. If you already have a solution, you should ask him and express your certainty.

You can see that his eyes seem to be angry, and you can understand that he is burning with anger and high-spirited at the moment. If you don't intend to break with him, you should express that you can compromise and find a quick turnaround.Otherwise, pressing one step further will inevitably lead to a violent frontal conflict. When you see his peaceful eyes and smile, you can know that he is very satisfied with something.If you want to please him, you might as well say a few more words of compliment. If you want something, this is also a good opportunity. I believe it will be easier than usual to satisfy your wish.