Chapter 52 Positive energy of seven connections

Bad emotion is a kind of negative energy. If it is not controlled, it will flood;It will be eliminated quickly Learning to control one's emotions is an important aspect of a person's character cultivation. Perception of the world teaches us two things.We are not born with these two things, but they have a great influence on us.Those two things are: controlling our emotions, and controlling our facial expressions.A person who is not well-bred is prone to get angry and lose his temper, or naturally retreats because of being ashamed to speak out on controversial matters. But well-bred people never seem to understand what can or should get angry.If he slipped, he could calm down and act as if nothing happened, instead of running and jumping like a horse in the mud and struggling to sink deeper and deeper.He is firm but not lacking in gentleness, always acting conscientiously and orderly.

Of course, none of the displays of affection mentioned above can lie, because they can neither make you rude nor be used as an excuse to maintain a false friendship.To show your grace to a man you do not love is not so much a violation of truth as flattery to your humble servant.Honesty and not loyalty is the constant principle of a man of faith, honor, or prudence.Those who violate their integrity may be wise, but never of real ability, and promises and infidelity are but the refuge of fools and cowards. The President of the United States, Lyndon Johnson, once angrily scolded his secretary George Reedy on the phone because of a mistake he made. People who heard these words were very disapproving.But as soon as Lyndon Johnson hung up the phone, he immediately said to his followers: "Now give this gift to George." Everyone was very surprised.The president explained with a sigh: "When a person is feeling down, he needs the gift of others most."

Emotion is a kind of perceptual response, which can be roughly divided into different expressions such as happiness, anger, sorrow, pain, and grief. Therefore, the control of emotions belongs to the management of reactions. A person who is too protected, or has a high degree of autonomy and a strong subjective personality tends to ignore the reactions of those around him, and thus tends to have poor emotional control.On the contrary, a person who has more experience, is objective, and considers the overall situation has a relatively high ability to control emotions, because he will take a sympathetic view and take into account the emotional balance between others and himself.

Since ancient times, the criteria for judging people have only been based on a person's self-cultivation and behavioral style, and he can know whether he can become a plastic talent and whether he has the style of a general. Therefore, in order to become a master, in addition to considering knowledge and ability, you must See if he can control his emotions properly.Emotions are handled well, resistance can be turned into help, and help you avoid dangers; if emotions are not handled well, it is easy to irritate people and produce some irrational words and deeds. So how do you control your emotions?The following two methods of emotional management hope to help readers.

(1) Pay close attention to your emotions. Always remind yourself of "How am I feeling right now?" For example, when you snap at a friend for being late for an appointment, ask yourself, "Why am I doing this? How am I feeling right now?" If you notice that you have By getting angry at your friend for being late repeatedly, you can do a better job of handling your own anger. Many people think that people should not have emotions, so they refuse to admit that they have negative emotions. You must know that people must have emotions, and suppressing emotions will bring worse results. Learning to understand your emotions is emotional management first step.

(2) Express your emotions appropriately. To return to the example of your friend being late for a date, you might be angry because he worried you.In this case, you can tell him tactfully: "You haven't arrived after the appointed time, I am so worried that you will have an accident on the road." Try to convey the feeling of "I am so worried" to him and let him Know how his tardiness makes you feel.An expression like: "Why don't you take my feelings into consideration when I'm late for every appointment?" is inappropriate.When you accuse the other party, it will also arouse his negative emotions, and he will become a hedgehog, always defending against external attacks, unable to stand in your position and think about you.

Therefore, how to "appropriately express" emotions is an art that needs to be experienced and figured out carefully.