Chapter 45 Control emotions, stimulate potential

Emotions affect people's potential, especially bad emotions make people irrational, and the existing imagination will be far from the track of positive development, and will not produce positive power.A person knows how to control his emotions, and through the cultivation of emotional intelligence, he will not hesitate, lose his composure, or lose control. How to maintain the level of conflict depends on the leader's intuitive ability and leadership art, which needs to be experienced and improved in practice. One day, Stanton, the former U.S. Secretary of War, came to Lincoln and said angrily that a major general had used insulting words to accuse him of favoring some people.Lincoln suggested that Stanton write a scathing letter back to the guy. "You can give him a good beating," Lincoln said.Stanton immediately wrote a strongly worded letter and showed it to the president.

"That's right, that's right." Lincoln yelled loudly, "That's what I want! Give him a good lesson, it's really good, Stanton." But when Stanton folded the letter and put it in an envelope, Lincoln stopped him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Send it." Stanton was a little confused. "Don't mess around!" cried Lincoln. "This letter can't be sent. Throw it in the stove. That's what I do with any letter I write when I'm angry. When you write this letter you'll be relieved." , feel better now, then please burn it and write a second letter."

Lincoln was teaching his subordinates to control their emotions.Organizational behavior called it "self-monitoring ability".Lincoln's way of controlling his emotions is an effective way to develop self-monitoring skills. In life, because of various annoying trivial matters, we will all have more or less bad emotions.If these bad emotions are properly controlled, you can stimulate your potential and achieve something. In fact, controlling emotions is a choice of emotions, that is, suppressing bad emotions and turning yourself to positive and positive emotions.If the choice is correct and the control is in place, it is easy to take the initiative in a complicated situation. It is a choice for your good mood. Controlling your mood will naturally stimulate more potential.

Therefore, in the face of the stimulation of potential, many people will attribute the credit to bad emotions, but in fact the real credit is the self-regulation of emotions.If you can't learn to turn bad emotions into positive ones, success is just as elusive. So, how can you turn bad emotions into motivation for success? (1) Evaluate yourself correctly, and don't look at yourself too high or too low. Only by having a clear understanding of yourself can you not give up on yourself when you are desperate, don't underestimate yourself when you are lost, and don't overestimate yourself when you are proud.Have a correct understanding of yourself, do what you can do, and have a reasonable expectation and evaluation of yourself.Only in this way can you move towards success step by step in continuous progress and satisfaction.

(2) Cultivate an independent personality and be your own master. Knowing your own principles, knowing what you insist on and what you can't tolerate, copying others' opinions will not help you find a solution, but will make you fall into the fog, and finally lose yourself bit by bit.When you don't know how to choose, you can tell yourself "I am living for myself, not for others". (3) Find more love and help from relatives and friends. Anyone, whether a mature adult or a child, needs help from others, and family is your biggest support.Only the love of family members is the most selfless and warmest. Discovering more of their love can make you more confident in facing difficulties and setbacks in life.

(4) Examine yourself from multiple angles and discover your own beauty. Everyone needs to examine and adjust themselves from multiple perspectives, and constantly discover their own advantages, so as to encourage and guide themselves, and keep moving towards ideals and success. (5) Self-comfort and self-suggestion. When you are depressed, learn to comfort yourself. There are two forms of self-comfort: "sour grapes" and "sweet lemons". "Sour grapes" means that people want something but can't get it, so they deliberately say it is not good, that is, if they can't eat grapes, they say the grapes are sour. "Sweet Lemon" is when people take what I have, believe it's the best, and genuinely accept and identify with it.This seemingly negative approach has a positive meaning for emotional adjustment and balanced mentality.

At the same time, when you are in a bad mood, you must learn to hint yourself from a positive aspect.Design some positive language to suggest yourself.For example, people who are depressed always say to themselves "I am in a good mood today" and "I feel very good today"; people who are prone to anger can hint to themselves "I need to calm down, anger will not solve the problem".In addition, can some behaviors be changed to adjust emotions, such as changing facial expressions, smiling at yourself, changing walking posture, holding your head up, and walking with your head held high.