Chapter 103 In-depth and honest communication to improve the relationship between husband and wife

Crisis is inevitable in a marriage.Both husband and wife are responsible for the emergence of marital crisis.When there is a marital crisis, both parties should work hard to resolve the crisis and achieve harmony between husband and wife, especially for men.What should husband and wife do?Generally speaking, efforts can be made from the following aspects. After marriage, a proper distance should be maintained between husband and wife.Shakespeare has a famous saying: "The sweetest honey can numb the sense of taste, and the love that is not too passionate can last long." Not too passionate means to keep a certain distance while being intimate, that is, to be intimate.A couple who stay together every day and repeat the same life pattern will inevitably feel bored and boring.As Herzen said: "People live too closely together, too close to each other, look too carefully and too nakedly, and they will unconsciously pluck, petal by petal, those that are surrounded by poetry and coquettishness. All the flowers on the garland of personalities." Appropriate separation is conducive to maintaining the sense of mystery and freshness between husband and wife.Since ancient times in our country, there has been a saying that "a small farewell is better than a newlywed".Now, some people advocate that couples sleep in separate beds, which is not only good for rest, but also makes both husband and wife maintain their own charms, so that mutual love can be maintained for a long time in the indifferent and lukewarm.And some foreign experts have also expressed their views, believing that couples who meet once a week have the best relationship and the most stable relationship.

Everyone knows some truths: gaps should be left at some joints of the bridge deck, otherwise the bridge will crack due to thermal expansion and contraction.If the thermos bottle is filled with hot water, if it is overfilled, it will not be conducive to heat preservation.If there is no "gap" between husband and wife, it will not be conducive to "emotional insulation", and sooner or later it will be "cracked". For most couples, keeping a distance is not difficult, but what is often difficult is how much distance to keep, which people are not sure about.Keeping a psychological distance is to let the husband and wife maintain the shining points of their respective personalities.Let the husband and wife each keep a green space for free activities in their hearts. Neither of them should try to transform each other, but try to adapt to each other, so that each other has an independent personality, a unique personality and a moderately free life circle.

Of course, the distance that should be kept between husband and wife should not be too far.So, to what extent?A writer once said, "When I'm in pain or lost, don't let me miss your hand." Then keep a little distance from her, but don't let her miss your hand. Before marriage, both men and women often talk endlessly, and it seems that being together every moment is not enough, but after marriage and a family, the intimate words become less and less unconsciously, and the relationship between husband and wife seems to become boring. The words can be said, and the language is surprisingly concise: "Is the meal ready?" "The child's clothes are dirty!" Yes, she loves me and I love him, everyone knows this in their hearts, there is no need to say it out loud.As a husband and wife, what she did was what she should do, and what I did was also my responsibility, so why should the two of you be polite and appear hypocritical.Besides, when they are in love, they are young people, such words as "I love you" and "I can't do without you", and the married couple will feel uncomfortable talking about it.

There are many people who hold this kind of thinking and attitude. Under the domination of this kind of concept, many men seem to forget the intimate words they have said to their wives before marriage, and they seem to forget that they can say such words. The relationship between husband and wife is almost Indifferent to the point of ruthlessness.Experts call such couples "love deaf-mute" patients.A real man should be: not only understand the righteousness, but also understand the details; not only have the seven emotions and six desires, but also be able to express them appropriately.That kind of man who lacks warmth and is cold is actually a person with an unhealthy mind.

Love words between husband and wife cannot be less.Frequent talking of love can enhance the communication between husband and wife. One party tells a joke, or makes a joke, which immediately enlivens the atmosphere; The kind comfort immediately resolved the other party's grievances; the endlessly arguing issue became calm because of a sweet love word and gentle caress. Love words will generate wonderful motivation. Couples who are in the cold war may wish to try it, and it will definitely make each other and themselves feel happy!Your life will also become harmonious from then on. Married life cannot be as good as before every day. There is no couple in the world who does not quarrel, especially after a certain number of years of marriage and staying with each other for a long time. Everyone is unwilling to deliberately cover up their shortcomings, and quarrels begin to become commonplace.

At the beginning of the quarrel, one party must be patient. Without patience, there will be no happy married life.Conflicts between husband and wife are very common, but you don't have to be "vigorous" when dealing with them. As long as you endure before the conflicts intensify, many conflicts will resolve themselves and life will become more meaningful. Euphemism is a rather miraculous glue.Euphemism is a way to treat each other with frank and open communication. At the same time, it also respects the feelings of others and does not do unnecessary harm.Being tactful means being dependent on others and respecting their feelings.Euphemism has three elements: first, sincerity and trust; second, being aware of or noticing the feelings of others, and paying considerable attention to them; third, not taking advantage of others, but being caring and considerate to others.

How to treat each other tactfully in married life? (1) Don't speak in a rough voice.Speaking harshly has at least three harms: first, it damages the other person's self-view, thinking that you are an unwelcome person; second, it makes the person who is insulted feel angry; third, it proves that you are a rude person. (2) Be sincere.Euphemism is not "false pride". Euphemism requires both husband and wife to accept their own shortcomings wholeheartedly and not argue that they should be responsible for the problem.A tactful attitude is a sincere attitude, which is to sincerely accept the other party's opinions, sincerely admit one's mistakes, and sincerely apologize to the other party.

(3) Good at expressing emotions.Don't deliberately conceal the emotion itself between husband and wife.Some people mistakenly think that euphemism means hypocrisy or suppressed emotions. In fact, euphemism does not involve the cover-up and suppression of love at all.Only by caring and caring for each other with the help of tactful confession and sincere attitude can a truly intimate relationship be established. (4) You should speak to others as you ask others to speak to you.This is a basic principle of learning to be euphemistic. Without this principle, euphemism becomes a kind of decoration.

(5) Euphemism does not mean an exaggerated admission of mistakes.When husband and wife are arguing, you can often hear one party say: "Okay, it's all my fault!" Can not improve the relationship between husband and wife. When either party of a husband and wife makes a certain decision or request, it is best to explain the reason, so that the other party can understand his mind and avoid unpleasant things from happening.