Chapter 85 Watch and talk, talk and watch

It is understandable that different people like to hear different conversations.But the difficulty is how do you know what he likes to hear and what he doesn't like to hear?This depends on what people are saying—talking while watching, and watching while talking.This is observation: when talking with the other party, you must be good at observing words and expressions while talking. What are you looking at? Diderot once said that a man's "every movement of the soul is expressed in his face, clearly and distinctly depicted".Sometimes the other person verbally agrees with you, but his brows are wrinkled unconsciously, or his lips are suddenly closed, and the corners of his mouth are turned down.These expressions are precisely the expression of inner unhappiness.Therefore, the words of approval he said were actually insincere, or he had to say this because of sympathy, or succumbing to power.

Almost every posture and every movement is a special language, expressing a person's inner world.The problem is that we need to be able to read these body expressions, to understand their inner meaning.If the person you are talking to stands with his feet side by side and his arms crossed in front of his chest, it shows that the person has some kind of hostility towards you and he is defending himself; , that means he is not only defending himself, but also attacking you.Another example, if the talker often opens his hands to you, it shows that the person is sincere and straightforward, and he has no defense against you.

When you talk to someone, you should not only look at what he says, but also how he says it.This is to see the meaning behind the words of the other party from the high and low, strong and weak, fast and slow, intonation, etc. of the other party's voice, and listen to his implication.This is because the various changes in speaking voice not only express a person's personality—an impatient person speaks with a fast rhythm and a loud voice, while a slow person speaks with a slow rhythm and a low voice—but also can express a person's emotions and state of mind.For example, when a person is sad, they speak slowly, in a low voice, and with a gentle rhythm, while when they are excited, they speak quickly, with a high voice, and a strong rhythm.

The so-called "watching people talk" mainly means "watching" the above three expressions.From these expression changes, we can guess the other party's psychological situation and see through the other party's psychological needs at any time, and then we can adjust the content and method of our conversation at any time to make it more suitable for the other party's ideological clues.In this way, speaking can achieve the expected good effect. Everyone has different tempers and habits. If you talk to people in a single way, it will not only fail to achieve the desired effect, but may also cause trouble.It varies from person to person. Only by seeing what people say can you have the green light on the road to success and smooth everywhere.