Chapter 84 The art of eloquence at the end of a conversation

Speaking is the same as writing an article, it also needs a "beginning", "body" and "end".Not only a good beginning, process, but also a good ending.In the eyes of successful people, only by handling these three parts well can a conversation have a satisfactory result.Otherwise, it is possible to make the conversation procrastinated, tasteless, or even incomprehensible. The conclusion of a conversation does not need to pursue "artistic effects" like a speech, and pay so much attention to the forms of "wedges", "gimmicks", "unexpected" or "abrupt".However, after all, conversation is a kind of purposeful social interaction. In the conversation, one should be good at talking, have a good beginning, and also have a good ending, so that the whole conversation process is always carried out in a friendly and harmonious atmosphere, and finally ends. A well rounded conversation.

The following is a brief introduction to six common ways of "closing the art of conversation". In the art of conversation, a consultative close gives the impression of humility, thoughtfulness, and sophistication. The so-called consultative closing means that when a conversation is about to end, the talker can synthesize the "alternation situation" according to his "conversation mission"—that is, the matching between the purpose and the conversation after the conversation—and express his views on asking for opinions from the other party. , instructions, requirements, or constructive suggestions, advice, exhortation, etc.Talk to your subordinates at the end of the work, say: "Do you have any other requirements and opinions?" "Do you still have difficulties and requirements in your life? As long as possible, we will try our best to help you solve..."

The listener can also ask the other party: "Apart from work, do you have any other opinions on me? If you can't remember it now, you can bring it up later. I won't care about the way others give me opinions..." "Mark, what else do you think I should pay attention to, and how should I do it?" If you have a conversation with a lover, classmate, or peer, both parties can end it with a corresponding "concluding remark" according to the purpose, content, and atmosphere of the conversation. "Mary, as we get more in touch and get to know each other better, you must have noticed many shortcomings in me. What do you think is my worst 'flaw'? I hope you will bring it up openly and honestly next time." Susan, I don't know the art of love, I just want to ask you a question, the person in front of you is willing to be your lifelong partner, what do you think?"

The use of a consultative ending will undoubtedly make the other party feel convincing, cordial, and heart-to-heart, and thus achieve a harmonious relationship. The inductive ending is usually used in informal conversations between superiors and subordinates, or conversations between colleagues, relatives and friends, and lovers. Lovers can talk like this: "Irene, I deeply understand and appreciate the love you showed me. However, before deciding on our relationship, I must remind you, first, I am a soldier, and soldiers cannot avoid bloodshed , disability and sacrifice; second, the way of life of soldiers is very different from those in society who are full of "modern ideas" and "modern way of life"; third, life during love and after marriage are sometimes two Situation, the two worlds, before marriage it looks like a 'flower', but after marriage it will become a 'scar'. Please consider these carefully."

The inductive ending in the conversation, because of its clear organization, prominent center, and reappearance of the center of gravity, can enable the purpose and content of the conversation, the thoughts and opinions of both parties to be clearly communicated, and receive concise, focused, and crisp effects. The caring ending is when the two parties in the conversation talk about their thoughts, opinions, opinions or reveal some inner intentions, and feel that some words and questions in the conversation have scope, objectivity, confidentiality and focus , When the conversation is about to end, take care of the other party not to make some of it public, or when you take care of which issues are important, you should say: "Bill, what I just said is some immature views. When people know about it, please don’t spread it, so as not to cause trouble...” This kind of caring ending has the function of raising attention, preventing problems before they happen, and emphasizing the key points, which can enhance the understanding and sense of mission of both parties in the conversation , Sense of responsibility.

The thanks-style ending is a strong etiquette in the art of conversation. Its basic feature is to use "kind words" as the end of the conversation and farewell words.Thank you words are applicable to the most extensive scenes and objects. It is suitable whether it is between superiors and subordinates, colleagues, relatives and friends, even acquaintances, and neighbors. If it is an enlightening conversation, when the conversation is about to end, the speaker can end the conversation with "I am very grateful for your help in my study and care in my life". If a junior is talking to an elder, or a subordinate is talking to a superior in a questioning or reporting style, you can say: "Do you have any other instructions? Thank you for your guidance. I have other things to do. I have to go first. Goodbye!"

The basic feature of an invitational closing is to use social means to send a courtesy invitation or a formal invitation to the other party.Its utility is that the former embodies etiquette, and the latter is an expression of the vitality of friendship.Such as a courtesy invitation: "If you pass by California next time, please come to our house as a guest. Goodbye!" Such as a formal invitation: "Sir, we have reached this point in our preliminary conversation today. Let's talk again at 3 o'clock in the afternoon the day after tomorrow. Goodbye!" A courtesy invitation is a courtesy, a formal invitation is an expression of friendliness and friendship.Using this concluding remark is in line with social etiquette.

The characteristic of the wish-style ending is that it not only has strong etiquette and interest, but also has great motivation. If coupled with appropriate spoken rhetoric, its effect is undoubtedly excellent. Such as: "Goodbye, I wish you smooth sailing--smooth sailing!" "Time waits for no one, life is hard work and struggle! Hurry up and work hard, which is equivalent to prolonging life! I wish you such a person, goodbye!" There are various topics and methods to end a conversation. As long as we can control the situation, correctly examine the object, and choose the right topic and words, such a conversation ending will not only be decent, interesting, but also powerful and touching.