Chapter 81 Find a common topic and have a harmonious and comfortable conversation

People who meet for the first time, due to the differences in people's personalities, their performances are also different.Some people are shy by nature and don't like to talk with strangers; some people have the desire to talk, but feel unable to talk, can't find a common topic, and have no way to talk.They are either cramped and embarrassed; or they hesitate to speak, but cannot complete a sentence; or they speak bluntly and are misunderstood... The reason for this phenomenon is that they lack the courage and skills to talk to strangers. Be full of confidence before talking, and believe that you can talk freely; then find a common topic suitable for both parties, and you can make the conversation harmonious and comfortable.A good topic is the medium for initial conversations between the two parties, the basis for in-depth discussions, and the beginning of indulgent conversations.

You might as well start chatting from aspects such as weather, hometown, interests and clothing, so that it is not easy to touch the sensitive part of the other party's feelings, and it is not easy to cause the other party's resentment and embarrassment. When meeting for the first time, finding a suitable topic can not only eliminate each other's tension and strangeness, but sometimes it can also bring you unexpected results and gains. The most important thing in talking with strangers is to be able to find common ground as soon as possible.How can you find the common ground between the person you meet for the first time and yourself?

A person's psychological state, spiritual pursuit, life hobbies, etc., are more or less expressed in their clothing, expressions, conversations, manners, etc.As long as you are good at observation, you will find that you have something in common.You have to find something in common with your own interests and hobbies from the things you discover through observation.It is only possible to break the silence if you yourself are interested in it.Otherwise, even if you find something in common, you will have nothing to say, or you will be "stuck" after a few sentences. When meeting strangers, in order to break the silence, speaking is the most important thing.Some people started with greetings, some started with actions, while helping the other party with some urgently needed help, while probing with words; some started the conversation by borrowing books and newspapers.Start with a few tentative words, or ask, or talk about your feelings about something, so as to observe the other person's reaction, you can know whether you and the other person have something in common.

When you visit a friend’s house and meet a stranger present, as the host, he will immediately introduce you, explaining the stranger, your relationship with the host, their respective identities, work units, and even personality traits and hobbies.Careful people can immediately find out what the other party has in common with themselves from the introduction. If you want to find the common ground between a stranger and yourself, you can listen carefully to the conversation between the other party and others, analyze and figure it out seriously, or you can figure out the other party's words when the other party talks to yourself, and find the common ground from it.By carefully pondering the conversation of the other party, you can find out the common ground between the other party and you, so that strangers can become acquaintances, and then develop into friends.

It is not too difficult to find common ground, but this is not only needed in the initial stage of the conversation. If you want to have in-depth communication with the other party, you also need to seek more common ground between the two parties.As the content of the conversation deepens, you will find that there will be more and more common ground between you.In order to make the conversation more beneficial to the other party, you have to dig out the deep common ground step by step to get what you want. There are many ways to find common ground, such as common living environment, common work tasks, common travel direction, common living habits, etc.As long as you carefully look for the common ground between the two parties, it is not difficult to break the situation where you have nothing to say to strangers.

The common topic is the entry point for the conversation between the two parties. With the common topic, the two sides have a basis for conversation.Creating a common topic and opening up the chatterbox of both parties is an essential eloquence skill in interpersonal conversations.